David et al
As a tourist to the US - the place that we enjoyed, which will also give you
a little warmth after January in NY, is Arizona and the Grand Canyon. We
rented a car in Phoenix and drove up to the Canyon, stopping at a few places
to see the sights on the way - Painted Desert etc.
Lyn - I would say that we should trim on everything (except perhaps a
pertinent guide to the original question). Better for those who still use
dial-up.
David - I notice that you used the wrong address for Chat. The
@dont.panix.com ending is incorrect. It should be @arachne.com.
Malvary
I have just bought a new car and have decided that I will get myself vanity
plates.
Iâd like some suggestions on what to put on the plate â 8 digits allowed,
but I need to order the plates tomorrow.
I need 2 or 3 options in case the first one I choose is already taken.
Iâm thinking along
According to translation on line
Floor sanding machine rental
M
-Original Message-
From: Patricia Runcie
Sent: Thursday, February 04, 2016 10:24 AM
To: lace-chat@arachne.com
Subject: [lace-chat] German word translation - non lace related
I have just seen a photograph of a German
And just to cheer you up in the UK - the big storm that hit Texas with rain,
snow and tornadoes, just sailed through Canada dumping about 25-30 cm of
snow with strong winds on Ottawa and then on to through the eastern part of
Canada is on its way to you. We'd had no snow for Christmas and had
I have found that season 1 (at least) is available on YouTube. I have
e-mailed my local PBS station (in upper NY state but covers a whole chunk of
eastern Ontario in its programming and audience catchment area) to ask if
they have aired it, or are likely to.
Malvary in Ottawa where we have
A little boy was attending his first wedding.
After the service, his cousin asked him, How many women can a man marry?
Sixteen, the boy responded.
His cousin was amazed that he had an answer so quickly. How do you know
that?
Easy, the little boy said. 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer.
Just got back, last night, from a week's vacation in Jamaica where it was
+28c. Here it was -25c with wind chill and snowing. Another 15cm or so
yesterday to give us almost 2.5 metres so far this winter. Probably still 2
foot of snow with 3-4 foot snow banks. I think there are daffodils,
https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embeddedv=EdoHAxSf408
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In answer to the query from David, via Clay, according to the internet
Series I is set in 1875.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Paradise_(TV_series)
It is a good series and I have been enjoying it.
Malvary in Ottawa where it is extremely cold. We had lots of snow yesterday
and this
I think Iâve seen this before, but it is still amusing
A smile for today. (for our foreign readers: a Scouse is a
Liverpudlian.someone from Liverpool)
Lipstick in School
According to a news report, a certain private school in Liverpool was recently
faced with a unique problem.
A number
Tom was a single guy living at home with his father and
working in the family business. When he found out he was
going to inherit a fortune once his sickly father died, he
decided he needed a wife with which to share his fortune.
One evening at an investment meeting, he spotted the most
beautiful
Adam LeWinter and Director Jeff Orlowski filmed a historic breakup at the
Ilulissat Glacier in Western Greenland. The calving event lasted for 75
minutes and the glacier retreated a full mile across a calving face three
miles wide. The height of the ice is about 3,000 feet, 300-400 feet above
Marion let me know that the link didnât go through, so here it is again.
http://www.youtube.com/embed/hC3VTgIPoGU?rel=0
Malvary
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A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of
him. When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty
mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the
students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.
The professor
Customer: 'I've been ringing 0800 2100 0800 2100 for two days and can't get
through to enquiries, can you help?'
Operator: 'Where did you get that number from, sir?'.
Customer: 'It was on the door to the Travel Centre'.
Operator: 'Sir, those are our opening hours'.
Och aye!
An Arab Sheik was admitted to hospital for heart surgery, but prior to the
surgery, the doctors wanted a supply of his blood in case it was needed. He
had a rare blood type, which couldn't be found locally and so the call went
out.
Finally a Scot was located who had a similar blood
A truly Happy Person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour. And, one
who can enjoy browsing old cemeteries...
Some fascinating things on old tombstones!
==
Harry Edsel Smith of Albany, New York:
Born 1903--Died 1942.
Looked up the elevator shaft to see if the
This is a story of an aging couple
Told by their son who was
President of NBC NEWS.*
This is a wonderful piece by Michael Gartner, editor of
newspapers large and small and president of NBC News. In 1997, he won the
Pulitzer Prize for editorial writing. It is
Linda wrote: - does anyone else have any schemes that have worked?
I'd really like to know!
One thing I've found works (sometimes) is asking to be put on their 'do not
call' list. We are able to register our phone numbers to a government 'do
not call' list and I always ask them WHERE
Dora wrote: Also, certain categories are exempt from the law. Political
campaigns can call you, and market/ opinion research people can call you.
You can get rid of market/opinion research people by asking them how much
they are going to pay you. I have had a token payment from a couple of
I've had 6 in the last little while. Do we know Sabine? I guess someone
should write to her, but I've deleted the messages.
Malvary in Ottawa where it is nice at the moment, but temperature dropping
throughout the day to snow and -7 by this evening.
To unsubscribe send email to
A Pastor goes to the dentist for a set of false teeth. The first Sunday
after he gets his new teeth, he talks for only eight minutes. The second
Sunday, he talks for only ten minutes. The following Sunday, he talks
for 2 hours and 48 minutes.
The congregation had to mob him to get him down from
The Canadian postal service is also VERY expensive. Part of the problem is
that you have to know where the parcel is going (different rates for
different post codes). This is one of the reasons I haven't put some things
on e-bay because I can't quote the postage until I know where it is
http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=XKRj-T4l-e8vq=large
Quite lovely â but then it is one of my favourite pieces of music.
Malvary in Ottawa
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Tired of constantly being broke stuck in an unhappy marriage, a young
husband decided to solve both problems by taking out a large insurance policy
on his wife with himself as the beneficiary, and then arranging to have her
killed.
A 'friend of a friend' put him in touch with a nefarious
The Hallmark store in our local store unveiled it's wall of Christmas Tree
decorations last week.
My comment - I wonder when we'll see the first sign up outside a pub or
restaurant Book your Christmas Party now
Malvary in Ottawa where it is a little cooler than the 46c humidex that we
had
Now I'm singing Chattanooga Choo Choo!! Apart from me, Calvin Klein,
Muhammed Ali and Stephen Hawking were born in 'my' year.
Malvary in Ottawa where the thunderstorms of yesterday evening didn't really
clear the humid air.
To unsubscribe send email to majord...@arachne.com containing the
Two little kids are in a hospital, in beds next to each other in a
semi-private room. The first kid leans over and asks What are you in
here for?
The second kid says, I'm in here to get my tonsils out, and I'm a
little nervous.
The first kid says, You've nothing to worry about. I had that done
Tamara P. Duvall wrote: US's original commitment was $15 mil; only after
being accused of stinginess by UN, did US up it to the 35 mil that Alice
mentioned.
Canada initially committed $4M and have now increased it to $40M. The Govt
has now announced that in addition to the $40M it will match
I know I'm way behind with reading my e-mails and still working through
those from before Christmas. But as we are still in the twelve days of
Christmas I thought this may ring true for some. I finished the turkey
I brought home from my aunt's where I'd spent Christmas Day, for supper
last
I was in the express lane at the store quietly fuming. Completely
ignoring the sign, the woman ahead of me had slipped into the check-out
line pushing a cart piled high with groceries. Imagine my delight when
the cashier beckoned the woman to come forward looked into the cart and
asked sweetly, So
A couple, desperate to conceive a child, went to their priest and asked
him to pray for them. I'm going on a sabbatical to Rome, he replied,
and while I'm there, I'll light a candle for you.
When the priest returned three years later, he went to the couple's
house and found the wife pregnant,
Tamara P. Duvall wrote: while you were helpless, you'd watch a hand reach
over the door and remove it...
I had heard about this and if I have to use a public loo, and there is a
double hook, I always hang my purse, coat or whatever, on the bottom hook.
It would make it a lot more difficult to
I hope this doesn't offend anyone.
A cabbie picks up a nun. She gets into the cab, and the cab driver won't
stop staring at her. She asks him why is he staring and he replies, I
have a question to ask you but I don't want to offend you.
She answers, My dear son, you cannot offend me. When you're
It is always possible to park directly outside any building you are
visiting.
A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.
If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into
will know all the steps.
Most laptop computers are powerful enough to
Tatdlace wrote: neighborhood has requested that people stop feeding the
critters as
they have become a serious problem
I wish we could get a ban feeding squirrels in this area. They are a
real menace. People would not agree to feed rats - squirrels are no
different they are just rats with long
Here in Ottawa (and presumably other parts of Ontario) we have more black
squirrels than any other colour. They are an absolute pest and destroy
gardens and plants and cause damage to houses. I have about 6-8 who tear
through my garden on a regular basis.
I occasionally see grey squirrels, but
Here in Canada we have a problem with Purple Loostrife (sp?) which was imported
from the UK. It was sold in garden centres but has now escaped into the
environment at large. It gets into the ditches along road edges and kills most
other plants including bullrushes.
It looks pretty, but not as
A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor's office.
Is it true, she wanted to know, that the medication you prescribed
has to be taken for the rest of my life?
Yes, I'm afraid so, the doctor told her.
There was a moment of silence before the senior lady replied, I'm
wondering, then, just
A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor's office.
Is it true, she wanted to know, that the medication you prescribed
has to be taken for the rest of my life?
Yes, I'm afraid so, the doctor told her.
There was a moment of silence before the senior lady replied, I'm
wondering, then, just
I had seen something similar, but this had a different twist at the end.
This is the greatest revenge I have heard - Power to the Woman
She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and
suitcases.
On the second day, she had the removalists come and collect her things.
Two prostitutes were riding around town with a sign on top of their car
which said:
Two Prostitutes -- $50.00
A policeman, seeing the sign, stopped them and told them they'd either
have to remove the sign or go to jail.
Just at that time, another car passed with a sign saying: JESUS SAVES.
One
Recognise anybody here?
You know you're living in 2004 when...
1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.
2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.
3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.
4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk
A pirate walked into a bar and the bartender said, Hey, I haven't seen
you in a while. What happened? You look terrible.
What do you mean? said the pirate, I feel fine.
What about the wooden leg? You didn't have that before.
Well, we were in a battle and I got hit with a cannon ball, but I'm
Alice Howell wrote: Very large garlic -- supposed to be a bit milder than
regular
If you can find them they are absolutely delicious baked or done on the
barbecue.
Just trim off the pointed tops (leave the garlic whole with all the cloves
together) and put it on the barbecue. I haven't yet
Jean Nathan wrote: especially as my brain thinks I'm 26 - my body knows it's
61
This reminded me of my mum. One year when they had spent a long vacation with
me and we had toured around the east coast of the U.S. she asked me what I was
going to do the next year. I said we hadn't decided, but
Someone in my office told me that this morning (Thursday) there was an
item on CBC Overnight, which broadcasts programming from around the
world, on Radio Prague which was an interview with the head of OIDFA. I
checked out their web-site and came across this link. I don't have
access to Real
Three pastors were having lunch in a diner.
One said You know, ever since summer started, I've been having trouble
with bats in my loft and attic at church. I've tried everything--noise,
spray, cats--nothing seems to scare them away!
Another said Yeah, me too. I've got hundreds living in my
I've seen some of these before, but I think there are a few new ones.
Malvary
1. A bicycle can't stand alone because it is two-tired.
2. A will is a dead giveaway.
3. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
4. A backward poet writes inverse.
5. In democracy it's your vote that
A husband and wife are traveling by car from Key West to Boston. After
almost twenty-four hours on the road, they're too tired to continue, and
they decide to stop for a rest. They stop at a nice hotel and take a
room, but they only plan to sleep for four hours and then get back on
the road. When
Five precepts of Chinese wisdom intended for the women:
1. It important to find a man who helps with the domestic tasks and the
heavy work and who has a good job.
2. It is important to find a man of spirit, who has a sense of humour,
and who makes you laugh
3. It is important that you find a man
Jacquie Tinch is your sister??? And both of you lacemakers???
Yes, and my mum too, although now she is nearly 90 she doesn't do very
much. They were both members of the Croydon Lacemakers and mum is still a
member and still drives herself to their meetings.
When I first started making lace,
A couple in their seventies are having problems remembering things, so
they decide to the go the doctor for a checkup. The doctor tells them
that they are physically okay, but they might want to start writing
things down to help them remember.
Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets
If you don't want to be locked into a subscribed plan because you don't make
frequent long distance calls, look to see what cheap plan programs exist for
your area. I dial 101-55-66 before I make long distance calls. The
discounts are enormous AND the charges are added to the normal phone bill
I was at a meeting recently where the person was talking about the
Charles Bridge in Prague. He mentioned that there is a plaque on the
bridge giving details of when it was built and by whom. He said that
the foundation stone was laid on 9 July 1357 at 5.31 a.m. so that when
the numbers are all
Jean Nathan wrote: smash the bottom out of the empty half of an egg shell after
eating a boiled egg so that the witches couldn't use them as boats.
WHAT A RELIEF!!
I was going to reply to the post yesterday, and then thought No, everyone
will think I've got a really weird family. I have never
INNER PEACE
I am passing this on to you because it has definitely worked for me...
the simple advice I read in an article, I have finally found inner
peace the article read:
The way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you've
started.
So I looked around the house to see
Now that Vancouver has won the chance to host the 2010 Winter Olympics
these are some questions people the world over are asking! These
questions about Canada were posted on an International Tourism Website.
Q: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants
grow?(UK)
A: We
Brenda Paternoster wrote: Just home from Scarborough and going through
about 200 real messages and 213 spams.
It was good to meet Brenda and others at Scarborough. I'm still ploughing
through the messages that I had waiting for me (which is why I'm only
reading this one from 25th April now) - I
Talking to Plants
A woman who was a keen gardener went to visit a friend for a few days,
leaving her husband in charge of her plants. After giving him detailed
instructions, the woman pleaded, And please talk to them occasionally.
I'd feel a fool, said her husband, who was not so keen on
A man and a woman, who have never met before, find themselves assigned
to the same sleeping room on a Transcontinental train. Although
initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, the two are tired
and fall asleep quickly -- he in the upper bunk and she in the lower.
At 2:00 a.m., he
Have you ever noticed that when you're of a certain age, everything
seems uphill from where you are? Stairs are steeper. Groceries are
heavier. And, everything is farther away.. Yesterday I walked to the
corner and I was dumbfounded to discover how long our street had become!
And, you know,
Carol Adkinson wrote: But - it appears that the books are not available in the
UK,
For those spiders in the UK don't forget to check your local library. My mum
has made enquiries and can get two of them (I think she said Crewel World and
Piece Work) on loan through her local library.
She is
A guy was sitting quietly reading his paper when his wife walked up
behind him and whacked him on the head with a magazine.
What was that for? he asked.
That was for the piece of paper in your pants pocket with the name
MaryLou written on it, she replied.
Two weeks ago when I went to the races,
Hooray - mine has finally arrived too - same day delivery as my city tax
bill!! I know which one I preferred, but I opened the tax bill first and
saved the magazine for after supper. Mine was mailed from France.
Malvary - in Ottawa who has realised that she might be able to go to
Convention in
My friend's favourite Easter-time question is:
What do you get if you pour boiling water down a rabbit hole?
wait for it
you've probably guessed by now
HOT CROSS BUNNIES!!
Malvary in Ottawa, where it is snowing again this morning.
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Sorry if people have seen these before, but with a severe winter storm
warning in effect for Ottawa and area, we need all the smiles we can
get.
Gardening Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are
removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes
out of the ground
When I travel these days, because I haven't tried to take my lace pillow as
hand baggage, I usually take my cross-stitch project. I use the smallest,
fine gold needle that I can find and the bag also contains my
hang-round-the neck magnifier, photocopies of my chart and coloured pens
for filling
A big corporation recently hired several cannibals in their effort to
aid in rehabilitation.
You are all part of our team now, said the HR rep during the welcoming
briefing. You get all the usual benefits and you can go to the
cafeteria for something to eat, but please don't eat any of the other
As I've Matured...
I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is
stalk them and hope they panic and give in.
I've learned that one good turn gets most of the blankets.
I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just
jackasses.
I've learned that it
Farmer John lived on a quiet rural highway. But, as time went by,
the traffic slowly built up at an alarming rate. The traffic was so
heavy and so fast that his chickens were being run over at a rate of
three to six a day.
So one day Farmer John called the sheriff's office and said, You've
got
A blind man enters a Ladies Bar by mistake, finds his way to a barstool
and orders a drink. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the
bartender, Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?
The bar immediately falls absolutely quiet. In a very deep, husky
voice,
the woman next to him says, Before
A Friend is Like A Good Bra...
Hard to Find
Supportive
Comfortable
Always Lifts You Up
Never Lets You Down or Leaves You Hanging
Makes You Look Better
And Always Close To Your Heart!!!
Malvary - in Ottawa where it looks like a real fall day.
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The past is history
The future is a mystery
Every day is a gift
Which is why it's called The Present
Sent by Malvary on behalf of sister Jacquie
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unsubscribe lace-chat [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to
[EMAIL PROTECTED]
Hi everyone - it is safely past Ontario too. Yesterday (Friday) was very windy and
heavy rain late in the day. Some trees down in the Ottawa area and I think a little
more damage around Toronto.
But today is bright and sunny and the laundry will be out on the line when I've
finished reading my
A WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST
She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee. Her son is on the cover of the
Wheaties box. Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week. Her boyfriend is on the
cover of Playgirl. And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.
WOMEN'S REVENGE
Cash, check
Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch.
Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble.
In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch,they need to
purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock.
Upon leaving, the brunette tells
They also said that the lavendar would survive most of our winters unless
we had a very long, very cold spell.
Alice et al - we get a very long, very cold spell every winter here in Ottawa and my
lavender bush is about 3 ft across. It has been a mass of colour for weeks.
Malvary - Ottawa,
Big sister responds - I checked and on the Chicago Public Library Info Center their
list of
anniversaries doesn't show anything special for a 70th anniversary. For 75 it is
Diamonds,
diamond like stones and gold; for 80 - diamonds, pearl; 85 - diamonds, saphire; 90 -
diamonds, emerald; 95 -
A blonde girl enters a store that sells curtains. She tells the salesman: I
would like to buy a pink curtain in the size of my computer screen. The
surprised salesman replies: - But madam, computers do not have curtains
The blonde said: - HellI've got
Joy - thanks for reminding me about Gene Stratton-Porter (it really is Gene,
short for Geneva). My favouritest of all her stories is Michael O'Halloran
which I read a lifetime ago, for the first time and have read over and over
since. Another of her books is Laddie which I really enjoy too.
The author Carol Shields jumped to mind as maybe a similar...
Hi - while I was reading this it was announced on the local news that Carol
Shields, has just died of breast cancer at age 68. Shewrote The Stone
Diaries, Larry's Party and a book about, I think Jane Austen. She won the
Pullitser
Similar thing happened here with federal government and Bell Canada. Female
clerical workers were much lower paid than male workers doing jobs of equal
value. The dispute went on for years and years and finally we were given our
backpay (after about 14-16 years) and then we were paid interest on
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