Articulateness versus rhetoric with loaded terminology is always an interesting distinction
People in a comfort zone (stay at home spouse, extended family etc available to take care of the kid) aren't the best qualified to comment on this issue Deliberate neglect or abuse, which can happen in either situation, usually gets countered one of two ways - community, which kind of gets lost in a much more anonymous society, or government mandated childcare - which isn't sufficiently developed in India -- srs (blackberry) -----Original Message----- From: Deepa Mohan <mohande...@gmail.com> Sender: silklist-bounces+suresh=hserus....@lists.hserus.net Date: Wed, 28 Mar 2012 05:55:40 To: <silklist@lists.hserus.net>; Saritha Rai<sarirai...@yahoo.com> Reply-To: silklist@lists.hserus.net Subject: Re: [silk] Fwd: Life and Love in Bangalore On Wed, Mar 28, 2012 at 5:01 AM, Srini RamaKrishnan <che...@gmail.com>wrote: > On Tue, Mar 27, 2012 at 6:50 PM, ss <cybers...@gmail.com> wrote: > > The former conforms to dharma, the latter is adharma. > > India went through an even greater transition in the last 70 some > independent years, second only to the Chinese cultural revolution, and > yet it's gone unnoticed. Like the silent killer of the night, > inconspicuous yet deadly. > > Cheeni...that was so impressive. I had not thought of it as a cultural revolution, and that is, of course, what it has been. But, Cheeni, you criticise Shiv for terming it "dharma vs adharma"....but when you call it a "silent killer of the night" (I remembered Bhopal when I read that)...you too, take a judgemental stance. I cannot believe that the old system was always good; the concept of family before self, of duty before self, did, in my opinion, lead to a lot of bad practices, and deep unhappiness. This was especially so when a person did not believe implicitly in this concept. For better or worse (obviously, you two feel it was for worse), the change has come to stay. We are now cocooned in individuality; but yet, I feel that we are quite connected to our families and to our friends. The question of "who will care for the children" has always been a complex one, and continues to be so. I, for one, would rather have parents drop off their children at a night care, even if they are partying, than either drag them to unsuitable places, or stay at home with them and vent their frustration on them. I have seen this happen so often in the old family system. A constant refrain of "I gave up a, b, c, for you, be grateful to me" is like the Chinese water torture....a constant drip, drip, drip of mental tyranny. What is old is familiar, but for that reason, it cannot be held to be universally good. We just have to accept that many parents today cannot quit their jobs and be with *their* parents; they have to lead a lifestyle different from their parents' and they have to accept solutions about child care, that are different. Hmm...I wish I was as articulate as Cheeni or Shiv is...I'm just trying to say, we have to accept the new realities and not hanker after the old, seeing them through the rose-tinted glasses of selective memory and hallowed traditions. Deepa.
