My relationship with my husband is a cross between you two, Jan and Patti. We celebrated our 39th wedding anniversary while I was still in the hospital and now it is 41 years. He is truly my hero. Life-changing illnesses really seem to be able to make or break a marriage/relationship and TM is no exception. Some of us have been so fortunate and others have really suffered through a bad break-up while dealing with TM. We all are at such different levels of TM, yet we all are able to communicate, comiserate, and identify with each other. No matter what our situation is, I think we all fill a void for each other that TM leaves in that we are the only ones we can talk to that understand the disease and how it leaves you to deal with it's damage. Janice ----- Original Message ----- From: Patricia Cooley To: 'Jan Hargrove' ; 'transverse myelitis' Sent: Saturday, June 13, 2009 2:04 PM Subject: RE: [TMIC] Relationships
JAN I USE MINE TO CARRY ALSO. BUT, I ALSO HAVE A TRAY THAT I CAN PUT ON MY REGULAR WALKER TO CARRY STUFF. IN THE BEGINNING, I HAD TO SIT ON THE SEAT IF I WANTED TO DO ANY COOKING. NOW SINCE I AM ABLE TO WALK WITHOUT A WALKER OR CANE (I SHOULD SAY WADDLE LIKE A DUCK) I DON’T USE THE SEAT ANY MORE. I AM ALSO ABLE TO STAND AT THE STOVE AND SINK. I FEEL THE MORE I WALK AND STAND THE MORE EXERCISE I GET AND HOPEFULLY THE STRONGER I WILL BECOME. EVEN WITH ALL THE HELP WALKERS GIVE , I THANK THE LORD EVERYDAY FOR MY HUSBAND. I DON’T WANT TO THINK I WOULD DO WITHOUT HIM AND MY DAUGHTERS. TAKE CARE AND TIAD PATTI - WISCONSIN From: Jan Hargrove [mailto:jmh1...@sbcglobal.net] Sent: Saturday, June 13, 2009 12:24 PM To: 'transverse myelitis'; Patricia Cooley Subject: RE: [TMIC] Relationships Frank does so much..........he makes certain I don't overdo, he's kinda like my conscience, cause I think I can do more than I'm really capable of.........Patti, you mention your walker with a seat........I use mine for carrying stuff, i.e. laundry, dishes etc, Frank says it's been worth much more than we paid for it!!! janh !!!!!!!!!TIAD !!!!!!!!!!! --- On Sat, 6/13/09, Patricia Cooley <patticoo...@wi.rr.com> wrote: TM HIT ME ON OUR 45TH WEDDING ANNIVERSARY. THAT IS A DATE NEIGHER OF US WILL FORGET. MY HUSBAND WHO NEVER DID ANY COOKING, LAUNDRY, ETC., HAD TO TAKE OVER ALL THE HOUSE WORK AND THE OUTSIDE WORK. WHEN I FIRST CAME HOME FROM THE HOPITAL AFTER 6 WEEKS, I WAS FORTUNATE THAT MY SISTER, NIECES, AND DAUGHTERS LOADED US UP ON MEALS WE COULD PUT IN THE FREEZER WHICH TOOK CARE OF US FOR ABOUT A MONTH. BILL, MY HUSBAND, HAD TO LEARN TO DO THE LAUNDRY, SOME COOKING AND EVERYTHING ELSE. AFTER A MONTH, A WAS ABLE TO HELP WITH THE COOKING IF I SAT IN MY WALKER WITH THE SEAT. I AM ALSO LUCKY THAT NOW I AM ABLE TO WALK AROUND THE HOUSE WITH NO WALKER OR CANE, SO I AM NOW DOING ALL THE COOKING, AND EVEN THE DISHES AFTERWARD. BILL STILL STARTS THE LAUNDRY, AND I CAN STEP IN AND FINISH AND DO ALL THE FOLDING. I AM NOT ABLE TO DO MUCH IN THE WAY OF CLEANING SO HE DOES THAT TOO. I ALWAYS THOUGHT I WOULD BE THE ONE TO TAKE CARE OF HIM, BUT THE LORD WORKS IN MYSTERIOUS WAYS. AFTER BEING MARRIED SO LONG, OUR RELATIONSHIP HASN’T CHANGED. I KNOW HE IS THERE FOR ME AND I AM THERE FOR HIM, SO WE ARE TWO VERY LUCKY PEOPLE. MY HEART GOES OUT TO ALL WHOSE RELATIONSHIP HAS CHANGED AND NOT FOR THE BETTER. PATTTI – WISCONSIN ----- TIAD From: Todd Tarno [mailto:toddtm2...@sbcglobal.net] Sent: Friday, June 12, 2009 3:01 PM To: transverse myelitis; Janice Subject: Re: [TMIC] Relationships TM has made Billy & mines relationship stronger. I did ask him when TM hit ( when we knew it was going to be a long road to recovery ) and we had only been together for 5 years & he hadn't signed up for this, " Do you want to stay together or not ? " He was so bad at me for even asking the question in the first place, but I knew then that he was in for the long road to recovery too. I had started a cross stitch of our anniversary date, it was half done when TM hit, but that was the first thing I finished in between naps. lol Now it's been 7 years with TM & we will have been together these Nov. will be 12 years. May all of our relationships are stronger today, Todd in CC, TX --- On Thu, 6/11/09, Janice <jan...@centurytel.net> wrote: From: Janice <jan...@centurytel.net> Subject: [TMIC] To: "transverse myelitis" <tmic-list@eskimo.com> Date: Thursday, June 11, 2009, 10:38 PM It's Janice again. I have something else that I have wondered about and have decided to just ask and see what is out there. Do you feel that having TM has improved or destroyed the love/happiness in your marriage/relationship with your partner?