One of my dreams, Jeron, is to learn how to scuba dive!! The water is amazing with TM, isn't it? Jeanne in Dayton, WA -------Original Message------- From: j ra Date: 5/21/2010 4:24:09 PM To: Transverse Myelytis Subject: RE: [TMIC] alive Hey everybody, When I started this post, I sure as hell wasn't expecting the can of worms that I opened up! I got what you all said about me being selfish and trying to go it alone....pushing my wife away and all that. When I came to the Caribbean it was for two reasons. 1. I needed to learn to deal with this thing of ours called TM, but away from everyone who knows me. I did this because I wanted to see myself in the mirror again and not the person that everyone feels sorry for because I have TM. So I moved here for a litttle while just to get some "me" time. I am not pushing my loved ones away, like most of you thought. Truth be told, my wife fully understands why I wanted to be alone. 2. I am trying to relive my past. I am trying to push myself to do the things I loved to do even though I have TM. I know there is no way anyone of my loved ones are approving of this and are all worried about me going off into the deep blue sea or jumping out of a plane like I used to, so it's better if I do it when they can't see me do it and all be worried. So today was my first dive in years and for the first time since I had TM, I forgot all about it. My legs didn't hurt, my back was like brand new and it was amazing. Of course I got a little help from a 6 knot current to do most of the work under water for me (it's called a drift dive), but it was amazing. I did it! Adrenaline pumped through me for 32 amazing minutes and I felt alive again. I'm in all craploads of pain right now, but it was so worth it. Next stop, zip-lining in St. Lucia and Sky diving in Martinique. I know I'm in for some serious pain, but I think I'm slowly remembering the good days. My goal is to remember those days and replace the bad days. I called my wife and told her I loved her and she said she was proud of me for taking the step to regaining some control of my life. So, now.....It feels great to be in pain....this time it was worth it. Thanks everyone for all the emails and all the support. I love you guys very much....you are my family! Jeron
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