well said Janice...."the hell with TM!"
lol
live and then live with the consequences
From: jan...@centurytel.net
To: barbara...@gmail.com; rumc...@hotmail.com
CC: tmic-list@eskimo.com
Subject: Re: [TMIC] alive
Date: Sat, 22 May 2010 14:15:46 -0500
Barb, I do like you do. If I have a
few days that I know are going to be busy, I do it anyway knowing that for a
couple of days after I will have to sit a lot and will be
sleepy for good ole' vicotin. But, you
just have to push and do what you want to do even though you know there will be
consequences. The "hell" with TM!!
Janice
From: Barbara H.
Sent: Saturday, May 22, 2010 9:57 AM
To: j
ra
Cc: Transverse Myelytis
Subject: Re: [TMIC] alive
Hi Jeron,
Thanks for the further insight.
Though you don't "owe" any of us an explanation, this does help us understand
more. I have known of people who did push loved ones away and close up within
themselves, and that's what I thought you were doing from your first note, thus
my response.
And I don't see it as a can of worms. For the most part it
has been a great discussion, I've enjoyed reading the responses and the way
TMers step up to support each other. There is no handbook and no one right way
to deal with TM -- that varies with each of us according to how we're affected
physically as well as personality type, family support, etc. Personally, I
would
never have survived without faith in God and His Word to help me each day. But
reading all these different responses helps each of us to gain more insight and
encouragement in dealing with TM on our own terms.
I have to admit that
diving and ziplining and such are not things that would appeal to me even
without TM :-) But I am glad you're having the opportunity to experience them.
And I do understand the need to challenge ourselves. The challenges I choose
are
different, but if I don't keep some challenges in front of me I would be curled
up in a little ball inside my house and never move.
In the early days of
TM, any excursion or activity beyond just the function of daily living would
leave me exhausted and with a flare-up of symptoms the next day. But, as you
said, it is worth it, and for me, though it still happens, it is less direct.
In
fact, sometimes I forget the correlation. I am coming up on my fifteenth
"anniversary" with TM in September. Last weekend I was in charge of our
church's
annual ladies' luncheon. In the preceding weeks of preparation, I almost always
tell myself, "I am NEVER doing this again. Am I crazy, or what?" But it is a
joy
to see it all come together. Then this week I was having some major back pain
and elimination issues and could not sit still for very long without falling
asleep, and I was wondering what in the world was going on. Then I had a "Duh!"
smack myself upside the head moment of realization that all that pressure and
stress, even though it was a good kind of stress, was exacting its payback this
week, so then I could just relax and go with it and give myself permission to
sleep a little more and not hope for a very productive week this
week.
Anyway -- I wish you all the
best.
Barbara H.
On Fri, May 21, 2010 at 5:23 PM, j ra <rumc...@hotmail.com> wrote:
Hey everybody,
When I started this post, I sure as hell wasn't
expecting the can of worms that I opened up! I got what you all said about me
being selfish and trying to go it alone....pushing my wife away and all that.
When I came to the Caribbean it was for two reasons. 1. I needed to learn to
deal with this thing of ours called TM, but away from everyone who knows me.
I
did this because I wanted to see myself in the mirror again and not the
person
that everyone feels sorry for because I have TM. So I moved here for a
litttle
while just to get some "me" time. I am not pushing my loved ones away, like
most of you thought. Truth be told, my wife fully understands why I wanted to
be alone. 2. I am trying to relive my past. I am trying to push myself to do
the things I loved to do even though I have TM. I know there is no way anyone
of my loved ones are approving of this and are all worried about me going off
into the deep blue sea or jumping out of a plane like I used to, so it's
better if I do it when they can't see me do it and all be worried.
So today
was my first dive in years and for the first time since I had TM, I forgot
all
about it. My legs didn't hurt, my back was like brand new and it was amazing.
Of course I got a little help from a 6 knot current to do most of the work
under water for me (it's called a drift dive), but it was amazing. I did it!
Adrenaline pumped through me for 32 amazing minutes and I felt alive again.
I'm in all craploads of pain right now, but it was so worth it.
Next stop,
zip-lining in St. Lucia and Sky diving in Martinique. I know I'm in for some
serious pain, but I think I'm slowly remembering the good days. My goal is to
remember those days and replace the bad days. I called my wife and told her I
loved her and she said she was proud of me for taking the step to regaining
some control of my life.
So, now.....It feels great to be in pain....this
time it was worth it.
Thanks everyone for all the emails and all the
support. I love you guys very much....you are my family!
Jeron
Hotmail: Trusted email with Microsoft’s powerful SPAM protection. Sign up
now.
_________________________________________________________________
Hotmail: Trusted email with Microsoft’s powerful SPAM protection.
https://signup.live.com/signup.aspx?id=60969
