Thats nicely said, Sameer - "nothing is really good or bad..there are different ways we can enjoy". I used to (and still do) love surprises, but my husband always believed in taking me to the store and buying what I really wanted..bcos I had(ve) the reputation of returning/exchanging a lot, so he used to say, u will anyway return what I buy, so why don't u select it in the first place..that used to disappoint me, as I felt there was no surprise element.
I got married when I was almost 25 (that used to be considered a bit late for girls, especially when your peers got married long b4 u did), I had my first son after 5 yrs of marriage..bcos at that time we felt we shud spend more time just the two of us, like u mentioned Sameer..but later on I questioned that decision, wondering if it wud've been okay to have had the kids much earlier, if it wudve been better to have had a smaller gap age-wise with the kids..its human tendency to question one's own decisions or thoughts..not that I regret anything today. Yes I agree Sushma, after a few years of marriage, gifting, or forgetting to gift your better half on special occasions seems trivial, and there is not much expectations on that area. Afterall there are a lot of other ways, better ways, to express love. These material things don't matter anymore. Arch..after years of understanding and togetherness, just an eye contact, or sharing a smile on something silly you or your kid did, or some thought u shared..is enough to feel content (do I sound like an old hag? hehe) And ofcourse, those little tiffs and arguments and later on making up keeps the flame alive :-) Thanks everyone for sharing your thoughts on this..its really interesting to hear different views on the subject. Cheers! Indu On Fri, Feb 19, 2010 at 7:50 PM, Sameer Chhatre <[email protected]>wrote: > Talking about this. I like to gift my wife but she doesnt really care. Not > because she doesnt love me, but thats the kind of person she is. This holds > true not only for valentine's day but for all occassions. I personally dont > like it because I believe that love should be expressed. Therefore we have > decided that when we feel like gifting ya phir jyada pyaar aa raha hoga (it > hardly happens these days given kids and busy lifestyle) we will talk about > gifting and if she wants anything at that time she will tell me. > > No one gifted me anything for my birthday because I could never celebrate > it. Its in may and in may there is school vacation. So no one sang for me. > Hence I dont remember other people's b'days bar a few. > When we were newly married, i was filling some form and I typed wrong date > for my wife's b'day. She was there and she just corrected me and didnt mind > at all. We both laughed. > > When we all met last time, we were talking about life mei kya reh gaya etc, > I said I should have lived single for 1 more year in Australia and then just > the two of us before having the first kid for another 2 more years. Someone > said he didnt get to live even for a year by himself and got married at 23? > So I thought I got a bit more time than this person. I know a few of us got > married when I was still studying engineering. > Like Subu said, we haev to live with it really. and its not bad. There are > different ways we can enjoy. > > Sameer > ------------------------------ > Date: Fri, 19 Feb 2010 07:47:57 +0000 > > Subject: Re: Views on marriage > From: [email protected] > To: [email protected] > > I must be indeed sounding trivial to you guys. I even told his mom that I > was angry he didn't remember. She didn't guarantee he would remember every > time..."he is like that...if he remembers he will, if he won't, he won't. > You should not mind it." how helpful is that -- he will remember and may not > remember....well there are only two such possibilities anyway. > > But i find it very silly to discuss with my mom-in-law. Oh Nooooooooooooo! > Sushma, I do hope a lot though...and guess what it turns into demands. > > :-) > > On Thu, Feb 18, 2010 at 11:30 PM, Sushma Salian <[email protected]> wrote: > > after years of marriage, gifting, forgetting to gift & getting sad about > it seems to be trivial & no gifting seems to be the better option to keep > the peace of the house & mind maintained. where there's hope there is > despair, (asha karoge to nirasha hogi)- very pessimistic- or realistic? any > comments on this, anybody... > > ------------------------------ > *From:* subramaniam sreenivasan <[email protected]> > > *To:* [email protected] > *Sent:* Thu, February 18, 2010 5:26:45 PM > > *Subject:* RE: Views on marriage > > It started on 14th Feb 2010 for me and by me... when there were no gifts .. > till then, there was, always. Now, if you look at it positively, gifts > become lower priority because with time people find so many other ways to > express their love. > > But dont you worry, it will not happen to you. Given how thoughtful Vaskar > has been, inspite of being far away, tells me that you will be receiving > gifts until you are 80. > > > ------------------------------ > Date: Wed, 17 Feb 2010 23:01:39 +0000 > Subject: Re: Views on marriage > From: [email protected] > To: [email protected] > > Subu, i would really like to know how it started...in terms of V-day, > birthday, anniversary...and when giving gifts started dropping from the > priorities. This will be hugely beneficial to me. > > I was actually angry with Vaskar, thinking he is never going to remember. > He is not with me, he is in Delhi...to join me here in April. I sent him two > personalised cards but no flowers or anything. as i was angry even before > the day had arrived assuming he won't care or remember...and then on > Saturday...i was completely surprised to get the goodies. > > Left me feeling miserable anyway, for having such negative thoughts about > him. Ours is almost an arranged marriage...we are still knowing each other i > guess. I would think that matters. No? > arch > > > ------------------------------ > Hotmail: Trusted email with Microsoft’s powerful SPAM protection. Sign up > now. <http://clk.atdmt.com/GBL/go/201469226/direct/01/> > > > > ------------------------------ > Australia's #1 job site If it exists, you'll find it on > SEEK.<http://clk.atdmt.com/NMN/go/157639755/direct/01/> >
