True. :) While I am a proud papa and love my kids, I'm not sure that their taking responsibility for their actions and knowing the difference between real and pretend is all nurture (or genetics for that matter). Moshe will come home with a story and will tell it to us and then say that its all pretend and didn't happen. He knows the difference. Hinda will sometimes get upset with herself when she doesn't act right. She knows that she's not doing the right thing but at the time her impulses are more powerful than her common sense (like when she's overtired). That may be the issue here. Rather than the child not knowing the difference between real and pretend, he may have low impulse control. This is the 'voice in our head' that stops us from just grabbing a candy bar when we want it or beating on someone when they upset us. Super ego, if you want.
At 11:26 AM 2/25/02, you wrote: >But then again, Michael, that's YOUR 4-year-old >;-) > >> -----Original Message----- >> From: [EMAIL PROTECTED] [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]] >> Sent: Monday, February 25, 2002 8:27 AM >> To: CF-Community >> Subject: RE: Come see the violence inherent in the system! >> >> >> I haven't taken a child psych course in 10 years, but I >> believe that you may be correct, but at a much earlier age. I >> know my 4 year old is quite aware of what pretend is and what >> is not. On the other hand, my 1 year old just hasn't told me yet. :) >> Real and pretend are concepts that probably come into a >> child's thinking around 2 or 3. But again, it's been years >> and I can be wrong on this. >> >> At 11:14 AM 2/25/02, you wrote: >> >One of the psych-trained folks on the list please correct me >> if I'm wrong, >> >but aren't children younger than about 6 years of age unable >> to tell the >> >difference between real and pretend? and therefore not understand the >> >concept of their actions? >> > >> >-Ben >> > >> > >> >> -----Original Message----- >> >> From: Mark Smyth [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]] >> >> Sent: Monday, February 25, 2002 8:08 AM >> >> To: CF-Community >> >> Subject: RE: Come see the violence inherent in the system! >> >> >> >> >> >> where did I say that? >> >> >> >> Everyone has the right to defend themselves, 3 year olds can >> >> be restrained, >> >> by virtually anybody... >> >> >> >> I'm taking exception to the swift right hand remarks and >> the general >> >> consenus taken by you also that violence is acceptable >> against young >> >> children. >> >> >> >> The comparison between being attacked by a 3 year old child >> >> and a 30 year >> >> old adult is ridiculos, they are absolutely different >> >> situations. One is an >> >> adult totally responsable for his actions, the other is >> >> little more than a >> >> baby. >> >> >> >> If you thnk you can justify violence against young children, >> >> you'll have to >> >> try harder than that..... >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> -----Original Message----- >> >> From: William Wheatley [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]] >> >> Sent: 25 February 2002 16:01 >> >> To: CF-Community >> >> Subject: Re: Come see the violence inherent in the system! >> >> >> >> >> >> AHHh so if a 30 year old fractures your skull you fight back >> >> but if its a 3 >> >> year old you just smile and let him keep fracturing until >> you're dead >> >> >> >> Sounds like a good idea to me >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> Bill Wheatley >> >> Director of Development >> >> AEPS INC >> >> www.aeps.com >> >> Macromedia ColdFusion Alliance Consulting Partner >> >> Macromedia ColdFusion 5.0 Certified Developer >> >> 954-472-6684 X303 >> >> ICQ: 417645 >> >> ----- Original Message ----- >> >> From: "Mark Smyth" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> >> >> To: "CF-Community" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> >> >> Sent: Monday, February 25, 2002 10:26 AM >> >> Subject: RE: Come see the violence inherent in the system! >> >> >> >> >> >> > Don't you guys think that slapping around an already >> >> (obviously) disturbed >> >> 3 >> >> > year is >> >> > a) immoral - hes just a baby really regardless of his behaviour >> >> > b) impractical - it'll probably turn him into a psycho >> >> > >> >> > >>>One swift right hand and all fracturing stop. >> >> > Not true, it will just reinforce his believe that violence >> >> is acceptable >> >> and >> >> > an effective way of resolving conflict >> >> > >> >> > This kind've behaviour does happen all over the world, and >> >> its normally >> >> down >> >> > to bad parenting, or a traumatised childhood. >> >> > >> >> > I'm not saying his behaviour is acceptable, if any of you >> >> think imposing >> >> > violence of a 3 year old child is acceptable, take a good >> >> look in the >> >> mirror >> >> > >> >> > M >> >> > >> >> > >> >> > >> >> > -----Original Message----- >> >> > From: Ledwith, Brian [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]] >> >> > Sent: 25 February 2002 15:20 >> >> > To: CF-Community >> >> > Subject: RE: Come see the violence inherent in the system! >> >> > >> >> > >> >> > As tempting as it is, with so many Americans being so >> >> lawsuit-happy, we >> >> have >> >> > to think twice (or 3 or 4 times) before we do that. >> >> Although, if that kid >> >> > started assaulting me...... >> >> > >> >> > >> >> > >> >> > -----Original Message----- >> >> > From: Angel Stewart [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]] >> >> > Sent: Sunday, February 24, 2002 2:24 AM >> >> > To: CF-Community >> >> > Subject: RE: Come see the violence inherent in the system! >> >> > >> >> > >> >> > One swift right hand and all fracturing stop. >> >> > >> >> > I cannot believe an adult would allow themselves to be >> attacked by a >> >> > damned three year old in the first place. Utterly >> rediculous, and I >> >> > think only in America. In Trinidad the child would have >> been soundly >> >> > smacked.All tantrums stop Fas Fas. >> >> > >> >> > -Gel >> >> > >> >> > >> >> > -----Original Message----- >> >> > From: Beth Fleischer [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]] >> >> > >> >> > <sigh> I used to judge kids throwing violent tantrums in >> >> the supermarket >> >> > - but then I saw this show on HBO about some poor family >> >> who adopted a >> >> > FAS kid. The kids is incredibly volatile and can attack >> >> with incredible >> >> > force, biting, kicking - his mom has to sit on him and >> hold his arms >> >> > down, away from his face to stop his tantrums. He is only >> >> 7. When he is >> >> > not tantruming, he tells the camera he hates himself for >> >> how he acts but >> >> > he cant' stop it. >> >> > >> >> > I expect there is something really wrong with a three >> year old who >> >> > fractures an adult skull with a toy truck. >> >> > >> >> > >> >> > >> >> >> >> >> > >> > ______________________________________________________________________ Get the mailserver that powers this list at http://www.coolfusion.com Archives: http://www.mail-archive.com/[email protected]/ Unsubscribe: http://www.houseoffusion.com/index.cfm?sidebar=lists
