Marek, I believe you've had to practice dispassion more than most.
When I taught special education, I had to "just not go there" when my students' possible futures came to my mind. I knew they all had a hard life coming, and my job was to teach how to read and do simple math, but their swords of Damocles were felt as if over my head too. I'd get inklings of their possible futures by meeting their parents and seeing some of their support system, but often the parents were obviously falling far short of being ideal. And, it was impossible to think about these kids with any hope that they'd have a chance at "the good life." Batting away such speculations was a constant feature of my teaching experience, and, eventually, it drove me from that career. I didn't have what it takes. Yet here you are faced with helping folks who are in some of the hardest circumstances possible, and much of it due to their own failings, and they, probably in the various stages of anger, denial, etc., will hardly be in an emotional state that best serves them in trying to help you help them. My heart would break on the first case. How do you find this super-dispassion? Did it take practice, or was it something in your DNA? I'm betting on the DNA. It is one thing to be able to maintain clarity by one's intellect grasping all the elements of a situation and discovering what sort of triage is necessary, but it is quite another not to be bothered by the psychic carnage you witness everyday. If it isn't DNA then maybe ya gots something to impart to us here about how to keep one's soul unsullied by a dark roiling on the rank injustice of the world. After all, all your clients were once cuddly sweet little babies who were then funneled into their futures by every sort of personality skewing abuse from parents and peers. I watched Dr. Phil interview Nadya Suleman, the octo-mom, and she was so out of it regarding the issues she faced -- the stress she's processing is utterly intense, and she's just not built to handle it. And she's in denial about it. I see her thinking she can pass the course by writing a blue book, instead, you know, of seeing that she's taking a final exam for the advanced math course. I cannot but think that most of your clients are just exactly so muddled and unhelpful. How does your heart respond when even the person who is being helped is suspicious, resentful, even angry of/at you? Oh, you're going to come back with "it's all just water off my ducky back," maybe, but ditch the brave face for us, let your hair down, and give us some insight on the grind of a public defender's life. Inquiring minds want to know if you're Mother Teresa disguised as Atticus Finch disguised as surfer-trikker dude. Edg --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, "Marek Reavis" <reavisma...@...> wrote: > > Cool, Edg (as re BiteLite search and find mission). > > You know, maybe the field of Civil Law is full of tight asses, but > humor is such a huge positive in life, and that's true in the > courtroom, too; and particularly so when you're in front of a jury. > I love jurors to laugh and unburden their hearts a little bit, even > moreso when the subject matter of the trial is distasteful or > gruesome. > > Just yesterday I was in court all afternoon with a new-ish judge > doing a double misdemeanor calendar call (i.e., she was calling her > own court's misdemeanor pretrial cases and the misdemeanor pretrial > cases for another judge's courtroom who was unavailable). I was > carrying about 30-35 cases myself and there were maybe 90-100 cases > called total. Normally, I'd be done by 4:00-4:30, but I didn't get > out till 6:00. Everyone was overworked, the court clerk was audibly > complaining about having to work so hard and trying to keep up with > all the cases (the court clerk makes a running log of all the Court's > orders and findings which are printed up and distributed as the > minutes for the files), the courtroom was packed with impatient and > unhappy misdemeanor defendant's. Every appropriate opportunity I got > I'd insert some more-or-less humorous comment into the litany of > negotiations, pleas, and continuances. Like you, I was always a wise- > ass in school, always getting in trouble for saying the wrong (but > funny) thing at the wrong time; but now I find that with a little > discretion that wise-ass stuff pays real dividends in the day-in-day- > out grind of the job. I kept it as light as the situation allowed > and by the end of the calendar everyone was happy to be done and > mostly smiling. > > As to the mental work, for the most part it doesn't burden me > internally, but there is a lot of it to do. If you look at my dining > room, the table and the floor is loaded with witness files, > discovery, and research for a murder trial I start at the end of next > month. The trial will last 4-6 weeks and I spend some time with it > every evening and each weekend; there's still motions to write, > witnesses to locate, problems to anticipate, but I trust that my mind > will do what it has to do and when we get to trial I'll be as ready > as I need to be. It's mostly automatic and I don't fret too much > about it. Meanwhile, I've got two other attempted murders, one > kidnapping, one robbery, two attempted robberies, a mayhem, a child > molest -- all going to trial this year -- and lots of misdemeanor > cases that come in every week, some of which will also end up going > to trial. It's more work than I'd choose to take on but it's classic > public defending and I get a kick out of doing it, regardless. The > one year I did in civil law when I was back in Saint Louis was the > unhappiest year of the last 10, and when I got a chance to come back > to California and do criminal defense again I was stoked, and remain > so. > > The FF kids who were busted for their grow are down around Chico, so > they'll be represented by a public defender down there if they don't > get private counsel. I'm in Humboldt County, so there's no way I > could help them. Every jurisdiction has its own habits and customs > regarding the "perennial" cases they all deal with. If they were in > Humboldt, and they had no prior criminal record (or very little), > they'd be given felony probation, maybe a little jail time. The > money would be confiscated, of course ($180k is a lot of money), but > that would be it. The authorities are more interested in the money > than anything else. But, as someone else pointed out, if the Feds > get involved (and that money may be the honey that brings them in), > then they'll likely do some prison time. > > ** > > --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, Duveyoung <no_reply@> wrote: > > > > Marek, > > > > I might have a Bite Lite around here somewhere....stay tuned. > > > > And, yeah, I am kid's kid and always have been -- except for the > fact > > that I, you know, raised four kids, had jobs, made money for my > guru, etc. > > > > I don't think I've ever been in any other frame of mind than "let's > > play!" This is my burden -- I've never been able to quite overcome > > it, and I'm pretty much unemployable, but I play at "playing a real > > person," so I have not been readily fired from my jobs but probably > > should never have been hired for half of them. I really hate those > > meetings where I know I can't shout out a joke from the back of the > > crowd. I have a severely bitten bottom lip. > > > > I remember this meeting with three patent attorneys, a President of > a > > company, and his right hand guy, and then me all on the 40th floor > of > > some Chicago skyscraper. Huge huge room, 30 foot ceiling, wall to > > wall windows overlooking the city's vistas, and everyone in the room > > getting, arrrgh!, $500 per hour to be there -- except me. Ya don't > > waste time with a joke, then, let me tell ya, but I burn, I burn, I > > burn like Spock in rut to bust out a pun. > > > > But you, an attorney, have this as your daily fare. How often do > you > > get witty? > > > > I went through this legal process last year in which I had to do > eight > > hours a day, five days in a row, with my attorney to prep for a > > disposition. I got a few jokes inserted into the process, but man, > > you lawyers are nit-picking, deep-thinking, focused cusses. That > week > > was for me a real eye opener about your profession. I don't know > how > > you can leave your work at the office. During that week, I > literally > > couldn't enjoy anything -- went back to my motel, and didn't bother > to > > watch TV or anything and couldn't sleep without having dream after > > dream about the legal material. I complemented my attorney about > > this, and he said, "I know, I know, I try to tell my wife about > this, > > but she just can't know the intensity of the mental work I do." > > > > Hey, any chance you can help the FF pot kids? > > > > Edg > > > > --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, "Marek Reavis" <reavismarek@> > > wrote: > > > > > > Wow! Very cool stuff, Edg. Many more (and more varied) than I > had > > > expected. 35 seems way too old for your brain, Edg; 16 seems > more > > > likely to me. Is the Bite Lite still around? I'd love to get > one > > > for the granddaughter. > > > > > > Marek > > > > > > ** > > > > > > --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, Duveyoung <no_reply@> wrote: > > > > > > > > "Marek Reavis" wrote: So, Edg, what toys have sparked from your > > > fire? > > > > Playful minds want to know. > > > > > > > > Marek, > > > > > > > > Geeze, I've got hundreds of ideas, and most of them cannot be > > > detailed > > > > herein because they've not gotten to retail and might turn a > profit > > > > for me or my kin down the line. > > > > > > > > But, let me tease ya. In my box of secrets, I've got: > > > > > > > > 1. A non-electric gizmo that stores up to a dozen photographs -- > > > > each > > > > of which is instantly viewable by a mere slight shift of the > hand > > > > holding the device. > > > > > > > > 2. I've got a device that is merely two sheets of plastic with > > > > meaningless smudges on them, but overlay them, and a photo > > > > appears....a neat secret decoder thingy that also might have > serious > > > > security uses. > > > > > > > > 3. Geo-Quest Card Game that teaches about geography and animals. > > > > > > > > 4. Aha -- a card game that a four year old can play with almost > the > > > > same skill that an adult would have -- as much fun for mom and > dad > > > as > > > > the kid. > > > > > > > > 5. A game that makes doing samyama fun. > > > > > > > > 6. Artificial intelligence programming concept that I haven't > seen > > > > bandied in the literature yet, which would have many game > > > applications. > > > > > > > > 7. A game in which the players are involved in a mad frenzy -- > a > > > melee > > > > in which all players are playing all the time with their hands > > > > grabbing and discarding objects in rapid fire fashion that > requires > > > > that each player watches what the other players are doing more > than > > > > what they are doing. > > > > > > > > 8. A maddening updating of the game of hide and seek where all > the > > > > players are running around like mad and then suddenly freezing > for a > > > > few seconds and then running like mad again. One player just > stands > > > > there and smirks. > > > > > > > > 9. Wind chimes for inside -- that work on the slight air > currents > > > > found indoors. > > > > > > > > 10. A construction set that has many pieces that are all > identical > > > but > > > > from which many objects can be created -- but each object is > like a > > > > jigsaw puzzle and must be "solved" in order to be constructed. > > > > > > > > 11. A game that only can be played by folks who truly are in > love > > > > because it is so sweet and intimate -- non-sexual but it cannot > be > > > > played if any non-lover is observing. > > > > > > > > 12. A game like Scrabble and Risk combined -- gotta spell, > gotta > > > > conquer, but a ten year old might beat an adult. > > > > > > > > 13. A stamped plastic object that one looks at until one sees > > > famous > > > > faces in it.....several. > > > > > > > > 14. A 3D playing board with grooves that allows game pieces to > be > > > slid > > > > around in a territorial competition for dominion. > > > > > > > > 15. Eight strips of paper which can be woven into a pot-holder > sized > > > > mesh that yields a geometric shape -- Hundreds of shapes to > achieve, > > > > each shape a puzzle to figure out how to achieve it using the > same > > > strips. > > > > > > > > 16. A three piece puzzle device into which three images can be > > > > programmed. Tens of thousands of ways for the three pieces to > be > > > > combined, but only three of those orientations yields an > image. > > > Patented. > > > > > > > > 17. A jigsaw puzzle with pieces that are photos of everyday > objects > > > > which have been cut-out along their outlines. These pieces > then are > > > > used to create a large image by interlocking with each other ala > > > > Escher-esque tessellation. Lions and tigers and bears and > washing > > > > machines and bikes and telephones and ANYTHING are used to > create a > > > > photo-realistic image by snuggling with each other. > > > > > > > > 18. A jigsaw puzzle in which all the pieces are not used > unless one > > > > has completely solved the puzzle, but if there are pieces left > over, > > > > doesn't matter because the image is still formed. The amount of > > > > pieces left over is inversely proportional to one's I.Q. > > > > > > > > 19. A card game in which one determines one's I.Q. while in > > > > competition with others doing so also. > > > > > > > > 20. Boo -- a haunted house treasure search game. If you see a > > > ghost, > > > > you're in trouble, if another player sees your ghost, he's > getting > > > > closer to winning. > > > > > > > > > > > > Ideas that got to retail are: > > > > > > > > Bite Lite -- a small fuzzy creature that bites onto a child's > pajama > > > > lapel and hangs on with tiny monster teeth -- a child's friend > who > > > > also has a tiny flashlight attached for revealing if there > truly are > > > > monsters in a dark bedroom. > > > > > > > > Celebrity Notebook Game -- players try to be actors who by > tone of > > > > voice deliver their lines such that a precise "target meaning" > is > > > > created. The other players must guess the meanings. The more > the > > > > audience is correct, the more points for the actor. > > > > > > > > Hex a Box -- a few puzzle pieces that can form a certain > pattern, > > > but > > > > there's millions of wrong ways to put the pieces together. > > > > > > > > Omni Jigsaw puzzle -- a set of jigsaw puzzle pieces that can > form > > > not > > > > merely one image but any image. The retail version of it had > seven > > > > images that could be made from the pieces, but in reality, any > image > > > > could be created by them. Users would buy separate > instructions for > > > > additional images. > > > > > > > > Whew, that's enough. Don't get me started bragging about all > the > > > > Internet services I've imagined that are just laying around -- > > > > hundreds of them just waiting for passion, time and money. I've > got > > > > two human powered vehicle concepts collecting dust too. Then > > > there's > > > > all the video games I've imagined. There's several dozen 900 > phone > > > > line ideas somewhere in a folder -- but the 900 line business > is > > > dead. > > > > > > > > Ideas -- dime a dozen. > > > > > > > > Success -- sweat, risk, time, and lots of luck needed. > > > > > > > > I might as well toss in my great American novel while I'm at > it. > > > Have > > > > written only one chapter -- a decade ago -- sigh. It's about > the > > > > birth of God. > > > > > > > > Edg > > > > > > > > > >
