RED NEWS - MUFC Daily News by Email. For the very latest news and more check out the website at http://www.rednews.co.uk ----------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------- [29] More Becks --------------------------------- Posted Wednesday, November 21, 2001 by redend: David Beckham: "The performance was the big thing and we played a lot better than we have all season. It is disappointing when you are 1-0 ahead with five minutes to go, but you have to remember it was Bayern in Munich. It is not the worst result in the world. We wanted to get a result and play better than we have been doing. We did that and can take heart from that." "I thought we had won it when Ruud Van Nistelrooy scored . But we know what Bayern can do, they can come back from anything." --------------------------------- [28] PFA - matches can go ahead --------------------------------- Posted Wednesday, November 21, 2001 by redend: The PFA's Gordon Taylor has re-emphasised that matches can go ahead on December 1st & 2nd as long as cameras aren't present. It is only if the league refuse to remove cameras that the players will refuse to play. "We have sent strike notices out to the chairmen of every club warning of industrial action from 1 December. "It will affect all league games where there are cameras either for live transmission or recorded highlights, though there is no reason why the games cannot go ahead if the television cameras are not present" [ADVERT] http://www.ukaffiliates2.com/u/iwanto/b.asp?id=57529&p=http://www.iwantoneofthose.com/spy_cam.htm IMAGE REMOVED FROM EMAIL VERSION OF NEWS Check http://www.rednews.co.uk IMAGE REMOVED FROM EMAIL VERSION OF NEWS Check http://www.rednews.co.uk Covert Spycam This is an awesome bit of kit - a spy camera with a thirty metre range, and both a colour picture and audio. You can hook it up to your VCR or TV using the wireless receiver which plugs in easily via a SCART. It comes with a fun fake book, so you can surreptitiously pop it in the bookcase from where it will record whatever you point it at. It also has a threaded mount that will fit any standard tripod (not included). Now you can keep an eye on the baby, the babysitter, the front door of the house, the back garden or, well, we're sure there are plenty of other things worth keeping an eye on. http://www.ukaffiliates2.com/u/iwanto/t.asp?id=57529&p=http://www.iwantoneofthose.com/spy_cam.htm Click here for more info and latest pricing [/ADVERT] --------------------------------- [27]More Fergie comment.. --------------------------------- Posted Wednesday, November 21, 2001 by redend: .. on last night. "I thought we fully deserved a victory to be honest. We started to open them up with some terrific football in the midfield. We pushed Scholes forward a little and created some great inter-changing play." "It was a fantastic performance by them, and we'll just have to pick ourselves up. It's a decent result for us and we'll have to be happy with that." --------------------------------- [26] Croatian Keeper watched --------------------------------- Posted Wednesday, November 21, 2001 by redend: According to reports in Croatia Fergie has held talks with Hajduk Split keeper Stipe Pletikosa The Croatian national keepers representatives are reported to have met with Fergie at a Munich hotel on Monday. A Croatian paper says that Martin Ferguson and Mick Brown have watched him 6 times in the Champions League for Hajduk Split and World Cup qualifiers for Croatia. --------------------------------- [25] Fortune - silence the knockers ... --------------------------------- Posted Wednesday, November 21, 2001 by redend: .. as Dwight might say to Jordan. Quinton comments on the recent slagging of United: "They have their opinion and sometimes it hurts when you see it on TV or in newspapers, but we just try to rise above it." "You have to be man enough sometimes to admit yourself when you don't play well and you have just got to work harder and try to be more focused. The most important person to listen to is the gaffer because he will always tell you the truth. "He is the one who picks the team and makes all the decisions so I think he is the most important person to listen to," --------------------------------- [24] Cameras out --------------------------------- Posted Wednesday, November 21, 2001 by redend: Not. Looks like we are going to see a strike as the Football League are refusing to remove cameras from the grounds on the weekend of December 1st and 2nd. Football League chief executive David Burns whined: "Cameras will be at the football grounds that weekend. Players have an obligation to the clubs. They have a standard contract - if they are chosen and selected to play they are obligated to play. If they don't that will be a matter between them and their club." --------------------------------- [23] Sheep Trials Day #2234 --------------------------------- Posted Wednesday, November 21, 2001 by redend: Today Bowyer was prancing around in front of the jury in clothes he claims to have worn on the night he is accused of assaulting a student. Asked to fasten the leather jacket by his lawyer Bowyer said: "I have put a bit of weight on. I am injured at the moment." His lawyer: "Injuries make you fat do they?" Bowyer: "They do for me, yes." [Lets hope he gets very very fat over the next few years] Bowyer walked from the witness box towards the jury & onto a step. Some of the 7 women and 5 men of the jury left their seats to watch. [Sit Down? Obviously not an all seater at Hull?] The Judge told Bowyer to shut it after he tried to get a bit of banter going with the jury when he asked them if they could see alright. The prosecution has alleged the shoes Bowyer handed in to police were not the ones he wore on the night Sarfraz Najeib was assaulted in Mill Hill, Leeds, in January last year. The jury was shown video footage of Bowyer leaving the Majestyk nightclub on the night Mr Najeib was attacked. The footballer claims the light shining from the side of his foot is his skin because he was sockless at the time. The prosecution claim the shoes Bowyer was wearing on the night had a buckle on the side. [Who do you believe?] Mr de Silva asked the footballer: "Do you dislike socks or have an hatred for them?" Bowyer replied: "It's like a thing back in London." [You wot?] Mr de Silva said: "Sockless in London?" Bowyer said: "I can't explain it. It's a thing that we did." Bowyer, 24, of Leeds, his team-mate Jonathan Woodgate, 21, of Middlesbrough, Paul Clifford and Neale Caveney, both 22 and from Middlesbrough, all deny causing grievous bodily harm with intent to Mr Najeib, 21, of Rotherham, South Yorkshire. The four also deny affray. --------------------------------- [22] Today's Posh & Becks story --------------------------------- Posted Wednesday, November 21, 2001 by redend: Today's "sell my book / film / record" by mentioning Posh & Beck's story David and Victoria Beckham are the modern-day equivalent of Adam and Eve, according to a leading celebrity psychologist. Dr Petruska Clarkson says Posh and Becks follow in the footsteps of a whole generation of celebrity couples. They include Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman, Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton, and Josephine and Napoleon. She says we need figures who we can idealise and demonise. [And sell our book / film / record] "Posh reached her icon status by being a role model and representative of a new generation of young women who believe they can have it all, whereas Becks achieved icon status by achieving excellence in his field. The combination of the two evokes mythological comparisons. Human beings have an intense and abiding interest in magic, as witnessed by the Harry Potter phenomenon. [Ah another name to sell my book / film / record] "I believe Posh and Becks do have a shelf life. It is likely that something will go badly wrong for one or both of them; the marriage breaks up or another celebrity couple catches the attention of Britain. The couple is a particularly potent symbol because of the mythological level it invokes. Whoever follows the Posh and Becks recipe carefully is not unlikely to have their 15 hours or so of fame. We saw Geri Halliwell and Chris Evans attempt something like this unsuccessfully." Dr Clarkson adds that celebrities have become the new olympians of the 21st Century. "They are the new gods and goddesses of olympia whose fates and fortunes we follow with unceasing interest. Humankind's need to make meaning of life will always be with us. If we did not have figures like Posh and Becks we would have to create them or become them ourselves. People can either aspire to be like them or they can share vicariously their troubles and achievements without having to take the risks that Posh and Becks choose to take." [All I can add to that is - What a load of shite.] [Oh and look out for the Harry Potter, Posh & Becks threesome exclusive in the next issue of RED NEWS] --------------------------------- [21] Becks on GMR --------------------------------- Posted Wednesday, November 21, 2001 by redend: Becks speaking on GMR: "We were one-nil up with five minutes to go, so it's a little bit disappointing." "But at the end of the day we were playing in Munich against Bayern Munich and we got the draw so it's not the worst result in the world. I think we played a lot better than we've played probably all season. We broke them down in the second half and we had a few chances. We can take heart from that." --------------------------------- [20] Keano in diplomatic mood --------------------------------- Posted Wednesday, November 21, 2001 by redend: Ambassador Keane said: "Give Munich credit, they hung in there. When the game is at one-nil, the opposition always has a chance." "The players are determined as ever. We have to accept criticism but we're our own biggest critics and we know we've not performed to the standard we set ourselves. There are just a few small things, like the daft goals we've been giving away, we need to cut those out to give ourselves a chance." --------------------------------- [19] Barcodes(H) briefs --------------------------------- Posted Wednesday, November 21, 2001 by redend: Newcastle (Home) Wednesday 2 January, 20:00 (Rearranged from Tuesday 1 January). Members Postal applications are now being accepted from Members only. Applications should include a completed match ticket order form,relevant payment and sae. Alternatively, members can make an online application through www.manutd.com Juniors >From the start of Season 2001/2002 we are pleased to announce that we will be >operating a junior ticket scheme for 11 to 16 year olds only. A set number of seats >(strictly for junior members only) will be allocated for every home game in the East >Lower section of the stadium. Junior members wishing to take up the offer must >complete the appropriate section on the match ticket order form. Seat Prices North and South Stands Upper and Lower £26 North Stand 2nd Tier £24 North East / West Quadrants Upper and Lower £22 East and West Stand Upper £22 East and West Stand 2nd Tier £22 Family Stand £22 North Stand 3rd Tier £20 East and West Lower £18 A half price facility is available to under 16s and over 65s. --------------------------------- [18] Everton(A) briefs --------------------------------- Posted Wednesday, November 21, 2001 by redend: Everton (Away) Wednesday 26 December, 15:00 Deadline : Tuesday 27 November We have received an allocation of approximately 3,000 tickets the majority of which are priced £27 adults with no concessions and £25 adults, £13 over 65's and £11 under 16s. Postal applications only are now being accepted from Season Ticket Holders only, enclosing voucher 29 (duly completed), relevant payment, sae and the following 3 match vouchers properly affixed to this seasons official voucher sheet (2001/2002): 31 (Lille OSC) 32 (Deportivo) 33 (Olympiakos). Private Box/Exec Suite and Club Class Members can also apply in the usual manner quoting their facilities held. All applications need to be received in the Ticket Office no later than 17:00 on Tuesday 27 November. Please note, in the event of being oversubscribed and a postal ballot will be held to determine successful applicants. --------------------------------- [17] A bit of Moroccan --------------------------------- Posted Wednesday, November 21, 2001 by redend: United are looking at a partnership deal with Moroccan club CODM Meknes to allow player exchanges between the two teams. United wanted to help set up and run a football centre - a modern training complex - for young local talent with the cream of the crop getting the chance to sign up for United. United officials were due Wednesday in Morocco to put the idea to Meknes, without specifying how the English side had come to choose them. Meknes are currently fifth in their championship. More Moroccan? [ADVERT] http://www.ukaffiliates2.com/u/boys/t.asp?id=57529&p=http://www.boysstuff.co.uk/cgi-bin/BoysStuff.storefront/en/Product/?prod=1235 IMAGE REMOVED FROM EMAIL VERSION OF NEWS Check http://www.rednews.co.uk http://www.ukaffiliates2.com/u/boys/t.asp?id=57529&p=http://www.boysstuff.co.uk/cgi-bin/BoysStuff.storefront/en/Product/?prod=1235 Street Daddy Blue The Street Daddy Blue is the ultimate personal pipe. Not only for its usability but for its sheer beauty and precision. Designed using heat exchanger science, the Street Daddy Blue is designed to disperse the heat created when smoking, so the smoke is inhaled at a more palatable temperature. And it's got looks to die for. It's comparable to the sleek looks and attention to detail of an Audi TT and comes with a neck string so you'll never lose it. Smoking is all about the personal experience. The preparation of your desired substance, the smoking process and the inevitable relaxation. Take your smoking to new heights, get a Street Daddy Blue. Price: £29.99 [/ADVERT] --------------------------------- [16] Champions Lge - 2nd phase to go? --------------------------------- Posted Wednesday, November 21, 2001 by redend: Uefa may abandon the second group phase of the Champions League competition, chief executive Gerhard Aigner said. The decision could be made by Uefa on December 12 and 13. [Surely the decision has to be made on EITHER December 12 OR 13? Or are they going to split the decision into two phases? ] It would come into force for the 2003-2004 competition. Aigner said: "We have many more matches, and it is questionable whether the players are playing too many. We are considering the possibility of getting rid of the second phase. Obviously that would have financial consequences." Abandoning the second group phase would reduce the number of match days from 17 to 13. In the second phase of his statement Aigner said: "The clubs agree we can't go any further, because of the overloaded calendar. But if we reduce the number of matches, the clubs will lose money on ticket sales and marketing receipts, and they will be hard pressed to accept that." And then moving into the knockout stage of his statement he rounded up by saying: "We have to find a way to offer them fewer matches but the same revenue." --------------------------------- [15]Luis Enrique Martinez joins Giggsy ... --------------------------------- Posted Wednesday, November 21, 2001 by redend: ... on the sidelines until January. The Barca midfielder suffered a muscle tear in his right thigh during the complete and utter twatting of Liverpool - at home. Strange - I can no longer hear any Scousers whining on about reintroduction of the (easier to fluke) knockout European Cup format? Also the "only the league champs in the European Cup brigade" has gone strangely silent too this season. --------------------------------- [14] Giggsy out until New Year --------------------------------- Posted Wednesday, November 21, 2001 by redend: Its the hamstring again. Giggsy had to drop out last night after pulling up in training (we only got half an orange) and is expected to be sidelined into 2002. Fergie said: "Ryan's pulled his hamstring and these things take around six weeks to heal." --------------------------------- [13] Bizarre: Gobbler's Knob up for grabs --------------------------------- Posted Wednesday, November 21, 2001 by redend: The home of groundhog meteorologist Punxsutawney Phil is up for sale. On February 2 each year, Gobbler's Knob is the site of Groundhog Day festivities in which Phil "predicts" the weather. The patch of land, which is leased to the Punxsutawney Groundhog Club, is now being sold by Punxsutawney Sportsmen's Club. According to German folklore, if the groundhog sees his shadow on February 2, there will be six more weeks of winter. If not, an early spring is forecast. --------------------------------- [12] Strike a Match --------------------------------- Posted Wednesday, November 21, 2001 by redend: If the Premier & Football League don't back down then the players will refuse to play in front of cameras. The matches themselves can still go ahead as long as the cameras are switched off. So if the matches are called off - its down to Scudamore of the Premier League and his mates for refusing to switch the cameras off. Matches potentially affected: December 1 Aston Villa v Leicester Blackburn v Middlesbrough Charlton v Newcastle Derby v Liverpool Ipswich v Arsenal Manchester United v Chelsea Sunderland v West Ham December 2 Everton v Southampton Fulham v Leeds --------------------------------- [11]Ruud Rueful --------------------------------- Posted Wednesday, November 21, 2001 by redend: "I thought we would win when I scored because it was almost 90 minutes played," said van Nistelrooy. [A match last 90 minutes plus stoppage time doesn't it?] "You think you have got the winning goal and three points for your club. We got the goal with good play and that makes you think you will get all three points. "But they are a good side so when they get a chance it's a goal. At 87 minutes, for it to go 1-1 it's disappointing, because I think in the second half we deserved to win." "In the end, to get one point is not a bad result for us. Before the game, when you think you're away in Munich, a point would be okay, but when you see the game I think there was more in it for us. "I thought we did a great job as a team. We worked so hard and defensively we did everything right. We felt we could have got more." --------------------------------- [10] Pinocchio - No excuses ... --------------------------------- Posted Wednesday, November 21, 2001 by redend: Phil (Sit Down Pinocchio) Thompson told the press they were making no excuses over their humiliation at the hands of Barca. Why is it when you hear a Scouser say they won't make any excuses that you know they are about to whine on about all the injustices that have befallen them. Well - he said no excuses - so ... "Our lads reckoned the third was definitely off and they thought the first one was too." "You only had to look at Sami Hyypia's reaction at the end to see how upset they were. It was a substitute linesman too, maybe it was a bit quick for him. And Houllier got in on the act too as Pinocchio recounts what he said on the phone: "He also commented on the decisions that went against us, but likewise he just said things like that happen and you have to accept them. So is that the end of the no excuses excuses? No: "The game changed on crucial incidents. Before their first goal, Emile Heskey had seen a shot kicked off the line 30 seconds beforehand, and just before their second, Michael Owen missed what he described as a sitter." Any more? It woz Chelsea. [ADVERT] http://www.ukaffiliates2.com/u/iwanto/t.asp?id=57529&p=http://www.iwantoneofthose.com/seat_saver.htm IMAGE REMOVED FROM EMAIL VERSION OF NEWS Check http://www.rednews.co.uk http://www.ukaffiliates2.com/u/iwanto/b.asp?id=57529 IMAGE REMOVED FROM EMAIL VERSION OF NEWS Check http://www.rednews.co.uk Spoon Seat Saver When you can't stand the thought of someone sitting next to you on the bus, tube or plane, or you can't get to the bar in the pub for fear of losing your seat, then this is your ticket to peace and comfort. A daft tea-spoon with remarkably realistic melted ice-cream on it, plop it on any chair, and you'll know from then on you have domain over the seat of your choice. It's also a scream at home and round the office for upsetting the unhealthily house-proud, and those with annoyingly tidy desks. http://www.ukaffiliates2.com/u/iwanto/t.asp?id=57529&p=http://www.iwantoneofthose.com/seat_saver.htm click here for more info and latest pricing [/ADVERT] --------------------------------- [9] Hitzfeld : Draw fair result --------------------------------- Posted Wednesday, November 21, 2001 by redend: "We were able to win back one important point and that is always important in the sense that you don't start off with a defeat," he said. "I think 1-1 was a fair result simply because we were better in the first half and Manchester were better in the second half." --------------------------------- [8] Fergie: Signs are there --------------------------------- Posted Wednesday, November 21, 2001 by redend: "I think a good performance can always help you and I think the players will draw confidence from tonight, which is always important in a game of football," said the United manager. "We want to get a grip of our game and show our ability with results." "I thought we did well and it was a good team performance in the second half," he said. "It's a game I think we should have won and a late goal like that is a disappointment for us. "That was the disappointing part of the game for us when we have done so well. We've given the ball away on the edge of their penalty box and from there they have scored an equaliser. "But I think Kahn's fantastic save from Roy Keane is the one which earned them the result. "However, before the game I think we would have settled for a draw." --------------------------------- [7] A drink? In a brewery? --------------------------------- Posted Wednesday, November 21, 2001 by redend: ..... doesn't sound possible to us say the FA. As the FA get both barrels over the Wembley fiasco from MP's "It is deplorable that the FA has shown no intention of returning the public money to which it has no right," "The agreement struck between the former Secretary of State and the Football Association for the payment of an arbitrary £20m to Sport England, which after nearly two years has yet to result in a signed legal document, represents a scandalously inept treatment of public money." 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You can buy more pellets below, although you can reuse them if you can be bothered to get down on your hands and knees and pluck them from your deep shag. If you thought pine needles made a great noise in the hoover, wait till you clean up after a session with one of these! http://www.ukaffiliates2.com/u/iwanto/t.asp?id=57529&p=http://www.iwantoneofthose.com/mini_softair.htm click here for more info and latest pricing - about £24.95 [/ADVERT] --------------------------------- [6] Fergie: Not so Ruud health --------------------------------- Posted Wednesday, November 21, 2001 by redend: "Ruud had a bit of sickness this morning so he's done as well to last as long as he did and score an important goal for us." --------------------------------- [5] Fergie: We deserved a victory --------------------------------- Posted Wednesday, November 21, 2001 by redend: "We deserved our victory to be honest. But the most important thing is the performance" --------------------------------- [4] Fergie: decent result --------------------------------- Posted Wednesday, November 21, 2001 by redend: "It was one slip - but Mikael made our goal and it was a fantastic performance by him." "despite that, it was a very good second-half performance from the players and I'm very pleased with that. It's a decent result. "We were starting to open them up with some terrific football in midfield - we started creating some interchanging play." --------------------------------- [3] Jaap in dark --------------------------------- Posted Wednesday, November 21, 2001 by redend: "I'm in the dark" (told you!) "I'm sure you can understand that I'm in a state of limbo after this weekend's revelations and I really don't know what is going to happen next." "I do know that I'm banned from playing any league games for Lazio but beyond that, I'm in the dark. "I assume there is an appeal process, but have no idea what the exact procedure is. "Hopefully I will know more about how to clear my name this week." --------------------------------- [2] Jaap to appeal --------------------------------- Posted Wednesday, November 21, 2001 by redend: "That is the one certain thing about this whole mess - that I will fight to prove my innocence" "I'll do whatever it takes because I refuse to have my name, and my whole career, tarnished by this slur. "I do not want the name Jaap Stam to be associated with drugs. "I am proud of what I have achieved in football, but I know that will always come second when people talk about Jaap Stam if I do not prove my innocence." [ADVERT] http://www.ukaffiliates2.com/u/iwanto/t.asp?id=57529&p=http://www.iwantoneofthose.com/fart_machine.htm IMAGE REMOVED FROM EMAIL VERSION OF NEWS Check http://www.rednews.co.uk http://www.ukaffiliates2.com/u/iwanto/b.asp?id=57529 IMAGE REMOVED FROM EMAIL VERSION OF NEWS Check http://www.rednews.co.uk Fart Machine Come on - its a fart machine - what's wrong with you? Now you can simulate Euro Away mornings every morning. Its just like the real thing - but without the intoxicating aroma. Anyway - their blurb .... Words cannot begin to describe the awfulness of this fantastic gizmo. It's classic shallow-end of the gene pool stuff. Everyone in the office screamed "We can't sell that thing on the site!" and then proceeded to play with it for hours. Everyone else in the building bought one before we even had a chance to photograph it, and the walls echo with the sound of airy relief. The remote works at impressive distances and the machine produces a variety of frighteningly realistic sounds, from polite little burps to a "morning after a curry" trumpet. The only sound louder than the farts is the laughter from all the other offices. Nice to know no-one ever really grows up. http://www.ukaffiliates2.com/u/iwanto/t.asp?id=57529&p=http://www.iwantoneofthose.com/fart_machine.htm click here for more info and latest pricing - £14.50 at last count [/ADVERT] --------------------------------- [1] All out Brothers? --------------------------------- Posted Wednesday, November 21, 2001 by redend: Strike is on as talks break down, Gordon Taylor says "It's time to protect the very future of the union. "We feel we have been left with no alternative. "We just feel we have been left with no choice. We feel it is not a fair reflection on the job that we do - there is plenty of need for the money." Weekend of 1st and 2nd December is lined up. Lets get one thing straight for anyone who doesn't understand. . The games can go ahead as long as the cameras are switched off. Simple as that. --------------------------------- [38] Fergie on tonight --------------------------------- Posted Tuesday, November 20, 2001 by Doc'sArmy: "It was a very very good 2nd half performance from our players." When asked about the disappointment of Mikky's failure to clear for their goal....... "That's something we'll talk about but he made a great goal too. A Fantastic performance by him" --------------------------------- [37] Mikky undoes a bit of his good work --------------------------------- Posted Tuesday, November 20, 2001 by Doc'sArmy: We managed to snatch a draw from the jaws of victory tonight after a great performance especially in the second half. 1-1 in Munich with Ruud scoring for us and Mikky and Wes managing to avoid clearing a ball between them. Keane hit the barl with a thunderous drive just afte we'd scored the first too. Still great overall performance with particularly Fortune, Keane, Blanc and the United support having great games. Oh.... and Liverpool got dicked.