--------------------------------- [27] Sunderland / Ticketmaster Scam --------------------------------- Posted Monday, November 19, 2001 by redend: IMUSA (( http://www.imusa.org ) http://www.imusa.org ) representatives have recently met with lawyers at a Manchester law firm who are advising us on compensation claims for those fans refused entry at the Stadium of Light.
The lawyers have advised that based on the strength of information we have currently made available to them that there is a reasonable expectation that fans who purchased tickets for the fixture between Manchester United and Sunderland and were refused entry to the stadium can expect to receive compensation for the 'loss of enjoyment' of the match plus the cost of the ticket and their travel expenses. The Lawyers have made contact with Sunderland AFC and have asked IMUSA to provide them with a complete list of all those whom we are aware of who have been affected by this Friday (23/11/01). Therefore any fans who have yet to contact IMUSA on this matter should do so immediately via email by Thursday 22nd November at the following address [EMAIL PROTECTED] --------------------------------- [27] Keane fit, JSV back --------------------------------- Posted Monday, November 19, 2001 by redend: Roy Keane is fit to play against Munich. He has suffered no reaction after playing the full 90 minutes of the 2-0 win over Leicester on Saturday. Fergie checked on Keane during training on Sunday and claimed there is no problem with his knee. Dwight is likely to be on the bench with JSV returning after a rest on Saturday. Manchester United team (from): Barthez, G Neville, Blanc, Brown, Silvestre, Beckham, Keane, Veron, Giggs, Scholes, van Nistelrooy, Yorke, Cole, Irwin, Butt, P Neville, Fortune, Chadwick, Carroll. --------------------------------- [26] Secret Policeman's Balls --------------------------------- Posted Monday, November 19, 2001 by redend: Two men have been arrested in South Africa after allegedly selling testicles and a tongue to undercover police. The two men work in the Gale Street mortuary in KwaZulu-Natal. Dr Zweli Mkhize, KwaZulu-Natal health minister, told the Daily News: "The perception that body parts can be used to cure people's ailments is ridiculous. It is illegal and society is being greatly misled if they believe body parts can cure them." A general assistant from the mortuary and an undertaker's employee allegedly sold the body parts to undercover policemen from the Scorpions Unit [A bunch of long haired German hippy rock-cops?] and the Anti-Corruption Unit. Superintendent Francoise de Villiers, commander of the Durban Anti-Corruption Unit, said: "The breakthrough came after the Scorpions received information about the two men who were apparently selling body parts from corpses which they had been cutting up." De Villiers said the men had been charged under the Corruption Act and the Human Tissue Act. --------------------------------- [25] Becks keeps promise --------------------------------- Posted Monday, November 19, 2001 by redend: Becks has kept his promise to terminally ill Kirsty Howard (6) by taking his wife to meet her.[Leave it]. Ananova reports that the youngster, who has a rare heart condition, brought the England captain to tears at their first meeting when she was England's mascot for the World Cup qualifier against Greece at OT. She met David and Victoria at the Angel Ball to raise money for the Francis House Hospice in Manchester where Kirsty and 130 other children are treated. When Becks and Victoria arrived Kirsty jumped up and down in her seat and shouted to her father: "Here's Becks! Look, Dad, Becks has come!". Since Kirsty walked out on the pitch with Beckham, money has been pouring in to the charity. Susie Mathis, appeal organiser said: "The response has been phenomenal. Normally donations come into our office in dribs and drabs but we have had more than £8,000 since then." --------------------------------- [24] On this day in 1998 --------------------------------- Posted Monday, November 19, 2001 by redend: Martin Edwards faced calls to resign during a noisy Annual General Meeting at Old Trafford, attended by 700 shareholders. How things change - and yet how they stay the same. --------------------------------- [23] Blanc Birthday --------------------------------- Posted Monday, November 19, 2001 by redend: Laurent Blanc is 36 today. He shares his birthday with fellow countryman and Restaurateur Raymond Blanc, (52). A coincidence or another case for the X-files? You be the judge. [Err - White is a pretty common name.] --------------------------------- [22] Match report - Red Kelly --------------------------------- Posted Monday, November 19, 2001 by redend: Penalty fox-out Manchester United 2 Leicester City 0 Premier League Saturday 17th November 2001 Last weekend, having taken advantage of the free weekend by flying with Karen and Gina over to Dublin, I was amused to see that the United shop on Westmorland Street was right next door to the Blood Donor Clinic. How very apt, given how much blood we donate in the United cause. How much blood would the United players have to give to guarantee their places in the weeks to come I wonder? No doubt a word in Fergie s ear could result in any slackers being sent over to the MUPLC store in respect of a bit of marketing, only to find themselves next door instead - donating the odd armful to the cause! So, the Wizard pulled up the drawbridge and declared fortress Old Trafford. All boarders to be repelled and no interviews. That s just how we like it. At least those of us who have been around long enough to realise what is going on, like it. Say nothing to no-one and give nothing away. And for this game at least United did just that, but only just! But, this particular clean sheet was probably more to do with the antics of a certain Frenchman who had travelled halfway around the world and back since we last played, but more of that later. First there was the small matter of surviving Dobson s fartmobile. Small being the operative word, as three larger than average males and the fartman somehow squeezed inside. But with frequent stops, for much needed stretches, we made it without incident. How come, when someone else drives, the journey is always considerably easier than whenever I do? No traffic jams and no problems - we ll see what happens on the journey to the next home game. The only delay was due to the fartman s late arrival - and that only because he d been cleaning out the fartmobile to rid it of any unsavoury odours! Odours he attributed to horse shit. Oh really? Anyway we arrived in time for a brief meet up with Bill and Linda at Platts. Then off to the ground in plenty of time for kick-off to discover we had just about the strongest team out. Poor old Bertie Bassett must have been wondering what the Wizard had against him. Down the bottom of the table and we play the first team against him and his Foxes. Pity we hadn t done that against the yonners a few weeks ago and it might have been us gracing the top of the table instead of the bindippers. United were attacking the Scoreboard and looking good. Everyone seemed to be taking things seriously for once, but the probability that any pissing about would have been met with some steely stares and a hair drying on the extra hot setting from you know who, would surely have been enough for any of them. Meanwhile, the Leicester contingent over to our left were as quiet as mice and seemed to be preparing for the slaughter. Well, let s face it, they didn t have much to shout about. Bertie Bassett has tightened things up for them but there still had to be doubts a-plenty, and with United opting for two up front, they had every cause to be apprehensive. But, there were also those in the near vicinity who were starting to grow restless. Murmurings of discontent were coming from behind me for most of the game. Perhaps they ve forgotten what it was like pre 1990 - easy for some it seems. Thankfully the Ruud boy s goal came just in time and shut them up. A superb cross from Becks landed so inviting right on his head, and Walker, in the Leicester goal was left flapping. The ball dropped quietly in the corner and we celebrated - for all of a minute. Then chaos ensued down at the Stretford End as Benjamin was barged by Blanc and a certain Mr Andy D Urso pointed to the spot for a penalty. A feeling of deja-vu crept around the ground as arguments flared. Izzet eventually stepped forward and placed the ball on the spot while Barthez indulged in some careful boot cleaning over by the post with his back to the pitch. D Urso blew his whistle. Izzet stroked the ball into the empty net. The Leicester fans found their voices and then fell silent as D Urso realised Barthez was still buffing his boots and not where he should have been - guarding his net. It was more like a scene from an absurd comedy than a serious penalty situation. Barthez stirred himself and meandered over and retrieved the ball from the empty net, walked slowly over to Izzet and gave it to him. We couldn t see his expression from the other end of the ground, but we knew exactly what it was! When the kick was finally taken, Izzet blasted it to Barthez right and the Frenchman got a finger to it and tipped it against the post. It was cleared so efficiently that a United breakaway was immediately on. Leicester retreated in panic, their fans were apoplectic, and as we were still convulsed, United came down to our end and very nearly scored. Life s always been interesting as a United supporter, but Barthez is a joker supreme who ranks alongside Best and the Lawman. Half-time came and went and only 5 minutes after kick-off Yorkie headed in number two. Heading footballs must come easy to him these days anyway, what with all this fraternising with Jordan business going on. This time it was Nev who crossed and the ball was glanced goalwards by the man wearing the broadest grin. Now for a bagful said Steve. But, unfortunately, it wasn t to be, although Ruud did hit the post and Keane (somehow) managed to head the rebound wide. A goal-of-the-year move between Giggs and van Nistelrooy was foiled only by the crossbar and Becks slammed another just over the top as the man with the lovely hair in the Leicester goal crouched to avoid a centre parting. So it finished 2-0. And what of the Leicester support? Well, they did wake up with 30 minutes to go, but only for about five minutes. They stood up because they love Leicester and we stood up for the Champions and told them to, sit down if you re going down . And they did. The atmosphere from the Stretford Tier Two was good, but from our section there was often only the lone voice of Lippy to be heard - and the odd mutterings of discontent from the row behind. Copyright © Paul Windridge 2001 - read more Red Kelly reports and editorial at: www.red11.org OUT NOW "A Seat in the Crowd" by Paul Windridge and Linda Harvey Internet info at: ( http://www.red11.org/seatinthecrowd ) http://www.red11.org/seatinthecrowd Order direct from: ( http://www.trafford.com/robots/00-0047.html ) http://www.trafford.com/robots/00-0047.html In the UK: From Waterstones Book Shop, Deansgate, Manchester and Sportspages, St Anns Square, Manchester By post from: MHI, PO Box82, Stretford, Manchester M32 8BX --------------------------------- [21] More Coloccini talk --------------------------------- Posted Monday, November 19, 2001 by redend: United have been tipped to sign highly-rated defender Fabricio Coloccini, according to AC Milan general director Areido Braida. Coloccini went to Alaves on loan and has enjoyed a successful season there. Braida reckons that of all the interested clubs, United hold the strongest interest: "We know that Real Madrid or any other club could pay Alaves to take the player. But the only club that are definitely interested in signing Coloccini are Manchester United." As part of an impressive Argentina under-21 side, Coloccini claimed the FIFA World Youth Championship earlier this year. --------------------------------- [20]Dutch "FA" innocent --------------------------------- Posted Monday, November 19, 2001 by redend: The Dutch football federation (KNVB) has cleared itself (now that's what I call justice) of any wrong-doing after Jaap Stam joined other Dutch team mates who'd produced a positive drugs test. Director Henk Kesler said: "It's a great pity. However, there's little that we can say at this moment. After the affairs with De Boer and Davids we had a large internal investigation carried out. All food supplements and the food that they received from us has been researched. We were then cleared of any irregularities." Earlier this year, Dutch football's medical chief Fritz Kessel admitted "Supplements are involved but they do not concern food and the players have been taking these when with the international squad for some time now." "But now there are similarities between the tests on the players, and the staff must search strongly for the source. But the substance is not in food. We know that." --------------------------------- [19] More slagging of United in the Mail --------------------------------- Posted Monday, November 19, 2001 by redend: Ian Ladyman, in the Daily Mail, continues the concerted attempt to undermine United. OK he is far from the worst offender - although they all stick together in the press pack in these situations but if Fergie gets hold of any of them in a Munich street they will be a Ladyman - literally. Forget the hairdryer - castration is the appropriate response. Fergie - sort 'em out. --------------------------------- [18] More from the allsort --------------------------------- Posted Monday, November 19, 2001 by bar-knee: "Muzzy is well gutted that he didn't score. In fairness to Andy D'Urso he did admit to me that he had blown his whistle for the penalty to be taken. He obviously changed his mind when he noticed Barthez was standing there. So give him credit, at least he didn't try and pretend that he hadn't blowen his whistle." --------------------------------- [17] Bertie Bassett on Sat --------------------------------- Posted Monday, November 19, 2001 by bar-knee: "When I came here with Nottingham Forest a few years ago and we got hammered 3-0, we looked like a bag of crap that was going to get relegated and we did. At least today we looked like we knew what we were doing and we didn't look like a relegation side. I didn't look at them and think this is a team which has relegation written all over them. There is a difference. I'm not making predictions, but at least I can see some signs of improvement." Hate to say it (well I don't actually) but you bloody well did look like a relegation side - and a negative one at that. --------------------------------- [16] Opta stats --------------------------------- Posted Monday, November 19, 2001 by bar-knee: Opta Index (Match Stats) Manchester Utd Team Leicester City 2 Goals 0 7 Shots On Target (inc Goals) 4 7 Shots Off Target 3 7 Blocked Shots 3 10 Corners 4 11 Fouls Conceded 13 11 Fouls Won 9 5 Offsides 2 2 Yellow Cards 1 0 Red Cards 0 [ADVERT] [IMAGE REMOVED FROM EMAIL NEWS visit http://www.rednews.co.uk] Agent Blue The Agent Blue pipe is the original precison smoking instrument that has sparked a new awareness globally in personal smoking systems. Made with the precision and looks of a surgical instrument it utilises heat exchange technolgy to cool the smoke. In a nutshell, it makes the smoke travel around its maze of passage ways before the user even gets a whiff. Unscrew the end and you'll find a cavity for your desired smoking stuff. Unscrew the other end and you'll find the intricate cooling fins that have the finish of a fine piece of jewellery. It's these that make the smoking experience great. Try placing it in the fridge for 30 minutes before you use it for a real cool smoke. It even comes with a neck tie so you'll be hitched for life. ( http://www.ukaffiliates2.com/u/boys/t.asp?id=57544&p=http://www.boysstuff.co.uk/cgi-bin/BoysStuff.storefront/en/Product/?prod=1236 ) Click HERE for more info [/ADVERT] --------------------------------- [15] Team from Saturday --------------------------------- Posted Monday, November 19, 2001 by bar-knee: Barthez, Gary Neville, Brown, Blanc, Irwin (Silvestre 45), Beckham, Keane, Scholes, Giggs (Fortune 64), van Nistelrooy, Yorke. Subs Not Used: Carroll, Solskjaer, Butt. Booked: van Nistelrooy, Giggs. Att: 67,651 --------------------------------- [14] Fergie on penalty re-take --------------------------------- Posted Monday, November 19, 2001 by bar-knee: Speaking only to MUTV for the forseeable future: "If D'Urso had blown for the kick to be taken then he's made a mistake. I'm sure there will be some question marks about it. At the end of the day Fabien has made a good save, a fantastic save. I didn't think it was a penalty kick at the time, but I would need to see it on TV." --------------------------------- [13] Stam comment in full --------------------------------- Posted Monday, November 19, 2001 by bar-knee: "This has turned my world upside down. I am absolutely gutted by these allegations. I simply cannot believe this has happened to me. I feel sick at the suggestion I would take drugs. I do not know why the test should come out positive and I am in a state of shock and confusion. I know nothing about the whole nandrolone situation. I can say without hesitation or doubt that I have knowingly never taken nandrolone or any other illegal substance. Nor have I had even a vague indication of any risks concerning doping. I find it astonishing and sad that I had to learn about this through Dutch journalists. I am not and have never been a cheat and would never jeopardise the happiness of my family or the future of my career. It is ridiculous to suggest I would, whatever the test says. I am concerned that this is the third person from the Dutch squad that this has happened to. Frank and Edgar know what it is like to go through a nightmare like this and I hope I can learn from them. I am ! now very worried about what will happen in the future because I know my Dutch team-mates de Boer and Davids were banned after failing the same tests and I know they were innocent." --------------------------------- [12] The mystery deepens --------------------------------- Posted Monday, November 19, 2001 by bar-knee: Erroll Brown aka Darth Vader? Is Hot Chocolate's Erroll Brown really Darth Vader in disguise? (I believe in miracles?)You decide ... Check out the message subject "Here's Erroll Brown......." on the RED NEWS forum ( ( http://www.rednews.co.uk/forum ) http://www.rednews.co.uk/forum ) for a brilliant picture from the official site of Erroll doing the cash dash draw. It seems they could do with a new flash for their Camera or has Erroll covered himself and all his clothes with that paint they use on the Stealth bombers? Very mysterious - call in Mulder & Scully now. --------------------------------- [12] European opponents round-up --------------------------------- Posted Monday, November 19, 2001 by bar-knee: Bayern lost 1-0 away to Werder Bremen after missing a load of chances - first defeat in 11. Bayer Leverkusen move to top spot. Bayern Munich Starting XI on Saturday Kahn, Oliver Sagnol, Willy Kuffour, Samuel Kovac, Robert Lizarazu, Bixente Salihamidzic, Hasan Fink, Thorsten Effenberg, Stefan Paulo Sergio, Elber, Giovane Pizarro, Claudio Stefan Effenberg played half a game - first game back after injury Carsten Jancker played last 15 minutes when he came on to replace Elber Interesting quote from Thomas Schaaf (Bremen coach) considering how famous Munich is for "backs to the wall" clubs..... "Our backs were to the wall in the second half and we were forced very deep" And on a similar theme, Nantes are still touching the rear end (fnarr fnarr) of the table in France (after a 2-0 defeat at Rennes) Boavista are leading the portuguese table although had an extra week off this weekend (if you'll forgive the pun - oh sorry, there wasn't one). As a fascinating aside, for anyone planning on going to the Boavista away game they have their very own Bingo club! With the Euro-away form our esteemed (or is that steamed) editor is on currently he could be calling house with a couple more "Clickety Click"(ers) Boiled bunny for tea anyone? --------------------------------- [11] Vieiri would love to play for United --------------------------------- Posted Monday, November 19, 2001 by bar-knee: Christian Vieiri: "It is my goal one day to play in England and it would be my dream to play for a great club like Manchester United" --------------------------------- [10] Fergie - Celtic and Rangers don't come down to England --------------------------------- Posted Monday, November 19, 2001 by bar-knee: "I think it will be very difficult for them (to join). Clubs like Birmingham City and Wolverhampton Wanderers have a great history in English football and can bring the same level of support to Old Trafford that Rangers and Celtic do. Also, that great advantage which Rangers and Celtic have had for a century - of bringing 10,000 fans to the likes of Dunfermline and Partick Thistle - just wouldn't be there, because you are often only allowed 3000 fans at away games in England. The Champions League is all about what television wants and it could very well be that, in 10 years, we will see a completely different Champions League, which involves all the major clubs like the Rangers and Celtics, the Manchester Uniteds and Barcelonas." --------------------------------- [9] Early team news --------------------------------- Posted Monday, November 19, 2001 by bar-knee: Bayern Munich coach Ottmar Hitzfel "Stefan Effenberg will play. Stefan Effenberg is an important key player. Only by using him will we be able to continue the series of successes we have had over the last couple of years. He will make his way back into the side from now on. We must make it a win on Tuesday, because we will need to get into a good position before going away to Nantes and Porto. There are very hard jobs waiting there for us." --------------------------------- [8] Gary Nev on Bayern and the league --------------------------------- Posted Monday, November 19, 2001 by bar-knee: "In terms of getting back on track, time will tell. We just have to go there (to Bayern) and do well. Confidence is never a problem here. Sometimes, you have to go and prove to people that you are still worthy champions. We can't afford to lose many more games, we know that. We just have to make sure that we are still in a position to challenge later on in the season.' --------------------------------- [7] Bizarre Jeff Powel article --------------------------------- Posted Monday, November 19, 2001 by bar-knee: Not the first time but in today's Mail he says the way to galvanise Utd is for Fergie to renounce his retirement and say he is staying on. Does he not hear when Fergie says enough is definitely enough at the end of the season? --------------------------------- [6] Frank De Boer quotes when he was banned - Ruud worried --------------------------------- Posted Monday, November 19, 2001 by bar-knee: "I guarantee you that this could have happened to any of the boys in the Dutch team. They get more and more scared while this is going on. I was [once] in my room in the hotel with the Dutch squad and I got a knock on my door. It was Ruud van Nistelrooy, who wanted to have a chat with me. He said, 'Frank, I could be the next one who will be tested positive'." --------------------------------- [5] Lazio shock --------------------------------- Posted Monday, November 19, 2001 by bar-knee: Lazio club doctor Andrea Campi said: "We are all in shock at this news." --------------------------------- [4] Dutch deny they are to blame --------------------------------- Posted Monday, November 19, 2001 by bar-knee: The Dutch football federation (KNVB) Director Henk Kesler said: "All food supplements and the food [Dutch players] received has been researched. We were then cleared of any irregularities. It's a great pity about Jaap. However, there's little that we can say at this moment. After the affairs with De Boer and Davids we had a large internal investigation carried out. All food supplements and the food that they received from us has been researched. We were then cleared of any irregularities." --------------------------------- [AD] A Wet Dream every night? --------------------------------- Posted Monday, November 19, 2001 by redend: Just an idea but how about waking up every morning to the last 2 minutes of the 1999 European Cup Final? Anyway - this is what they say about it in the advert: [ADVERT] [IMAGE REMOVED FROM EMAIL NEWS visit http://www.rednews.co.uk] http://www.ukaffiliates2.com/u/boys/t.asp?id=57544&p=http://www.boysstuff.co.uk/cgi-bin/BoysStuff.storefront/en/Product/?prod=1032 Wakeyoo An alarm clock is an alarm clock is an alarm clock - right? Wrong at least, not if it's a WakeYoo. The WakeYoo works like an ordinary alarm clock, except you choose the alarm tone by recording it. A favourite song, a piece of commentary, vinegar stroke utterances - tape any of these with the WakeYoo and it becomes your own personal alarm tone. You can even record sounds from the Internet ("You're my wife now Dave."). And the best part is, when you get bored with your first choice, you can record over it with something new, and do it as many times as you like. [/ADVERT] --------------------------------- [3] Just one thought --------------------------------- Posted Monday, November 19, 2001 by bar-knee: >From the weekend press. The Sunday People continue to try and get the ban overturned >from revealing who the massive Premiership player is who has had an affair behind his >wife's back. If the rumour mill on the net has - we can't say I'm afraid - spread the >word just how can the wife not still know? --------------------------------- [2] Dwight is the Dad --------------------------------- Posted Monday, November 19, 2001 by bar-knee: Highlights of the Frank Skinner interview with 'model' Jordan. Dwight is the dad of the child she is expecting. They have since split up. He has known about this for 5 weeks. She is now going to bring the child up alone. And it is down to Dwight as he didn't use a condom. All very tawdry. --------------------------------- [1] Red News public information service --------------------------------- Posted Monday, November 19, 2001 by bar-knee: The deadline for the next issue of Red News is Friday. We'd delighted to have any articles/letters/graphics/cheques for large amounts of money on or before then. [EMAIL PROTECTED] The Editor of RN is away in Munich until Wednesday. So if you've sent an e.mail he'll probably get back to you when his hangover subsides sometime in 2003. The ideal Xmas present. A sub for you, your friends or family in the UK costs just £16.50 for ten issues. We can make sure it gets delivered on Christmas Eve if you so wish - now that is exciting. The George Best book blessed is down to £8.99 with Amazon. Click on the link on the right hand side of the news that says AMAZON and you'll get the deal.
