[JOKES] Re: Druga Obqwa
Tazi obqwa nqma da q komentiram dali e po-ofanzivna ot predishnata, poneje mislq, che si izrazih mnogo iasno mnenieto veche. Samo nqkoilo zabelejki i poveche nqma da zanimawam horata s neprivetlivite si mneniq:: 1. Obqwata "drug shegadjiq" ne sym q pusnal az w bazar.dir.bg, nito sym q pusnal w [EMAIL PROTECTED],, no shte ti kaja edno - NE BIH q pusnal. 2. Wyprosnata obqwa ne wijdam kakwo obsto ima sys snimkata na Maria 12, koqto, shte me izwinish, ama ne znam kakwo i beshe smeshnoto. 3. Ne wijdam zashto se zaqjdash s MEN za neshto tolkowa ochewidno nepriemlivo, meko kazano, kato postwane na linkowe kym polugoli snimki na maloletni momicheta w jokes list na sirma. 4. "Obqwata" deto AZ q pusnah w jokes, moje i da e ofanzivna za nqkoi jeni bez chuwstwo za humor, za koeto greshkata e moq i se izwinqwam. Ako iskash da komentirame oshte, prosto mi se obadi, az poweche tuk nqma da pisha. Vozd - Original Message - From: "Stanislav Jordanov" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> To: "Ivan Terziev" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>; "Jokes" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> Sent: Tuesday, January 21, 2003 4:51 PM Subject: Druga Obqwa > Âîæäå, > ìîæåø ëè äà ìè êàæåø ñ êàêâî òàÿ îáÿâà å ïî-îôàíçèâíà îò ïðåäèøíàòà? > > - Original Message - > From: "Ivan Terziev" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> > To: "Jokes" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> > Sent: Tuesday, January 21, 2003 3:54 PM > Subject: [JOKES] Obqwa > > > > > > > > > =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= * send mails to [EMAIL PROTECTED] * PLEASE do not post offensive jokes * message size limit is 150 KB * List info and instructions are available at http://harbinger.sirma.bg/lists/jokes.html and in the header of this email =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
[JOKES] Obqwa
Zamqna.gif Description: Binary data
Re: [JOKES] potresavashto - SPAM
1. Obqsnih na Yassen offensive-nonoffensive politikata. 2. Towa s 12-godishnite za men lichno ne samo che e offensive, ami e moje bi poslednoto neshto, koeto bih se radwal da polucha kato "joke", ne samo w edin jokes-list, a po wsqkakyw nachin. Dolniqt link kakto i chatowete na taq tema wseki moje da si gi razglejda po swoe usmotrenie i "vkus", no ne wijdam prichina da me prawqt syprichasten na takiwa temi. Please do not post offensive jokes:) Vozd - Original Message - From: Stanislav Jordanov To: Yasen Filipov ; [EMAIL PROTECTED] Sent: Tuesday, January 21, 2003 12:12 PM Subject: Re: [JOKES] potresavashto Kato se izkliuchi che towa potresawashtoto sme go cheli oshte predi nqkolko meseca (mislq pak w jokes), chowek mozhe da si naprawi truda da potyrsi towa efimerno syzdanie Maria_12 w web-a; Takyw edin opit she byde uwenchan s (veroqtniq) uspeh: http://www.unibg.org/userinfo.html?nick=Maria_12 Sywpadenieto ne e 100% sigurno razbira se no nqkoq ot informaciqta ot log-a opredeleno se potwyrzhdawa. - Original Message - From: Yasen Filipov To: [EMAIL PROTECTED] Sent: Tuesday, January 21, 2003 11:20 AM Subject: [JOKES] potresavashto:
[JOKES] strange hissing noise...
http://www.uq.edu.au/education/extra/all.html =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= * send mails to [EMAIL PROTECTED] * PLEASE do not post offensive jokes * message size limit is 150 KB * List info and instructions are available at http://harbinger.sirma.bg/lists/jokes.html and in the header of this email =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
[JOKES] The Perfect Wedding moments
http://www.sirma.bg/jokes/pwm.wmv =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= * send mails to [EMAIL PROTECTED] * PLEASE do not post offensive jokes * message size limit is 150 KB * List info and instructions are available at http://harbinger.sirma.bg/lists/jokes.html and in the header of this email =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
[JOKES] Coca-Cola - kogato ne si dostatychno wisok...:-)
http://www.sirma.bg/jokes/Coke.mpa =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= * send mails to [EMAIL PROTECTED] * PLEASE do not post offensive jokes * message size limit is 150 KB * List info and instructions are available at http://harbinger.sirma.bg/lists/jokes.html and in the header of this email =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
[JOKES] da se smeesh li, da plachesh li...
http://www.focus-news.net/news/news.php?news=category&news_id=131485&p=0|3&c at_id=17 =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= * send mails to [EMAIL PROTECTED] * PLEASE do not post offensive jokes * message size limit is 150 KB * List info and instructions are available at http://harbinger.sirma.bg/lists/jokes.html and in the header of this email =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
[JOKES] Vicove
Ñåäÿò äâàìà ãðóçèíöè - áàùà è ñèí. - Òàòå, îò êàêâè ìàéìóíè ñà ïðîèçëåçëè ðóñíàöèòå? - Îò åäíè ìíîãî çäðàâè è ãëóïàâè ìàéìóíè - Ãàâðèëà ñå íàðè÷àò... - Òàòå, à îò êàêâè ìàéìóíè ñà ïðîèçëåçëè åâðåèòå? - Îò åäíè ìíîãî íàãëè è âðåäíè ìàéìóíè - Àáðàìãóòàíã ñå íàðè÷àò - Òàòå, à îò êàêâè ìàéìóíè ñà ïðîèçëåçëè àðìåíöèòå? - Îò åäíè ìíîãî ìàëêè è ïðîòèâíè ìàéìóíè - Ìàêàêÿí ñå íàðè÷àò... - À íèå, îò êàêâè ìàéìóíè ñìå ïðîèçëåçëè? - Îò åäíè âèñîêè, êðàñèâè, óìíè Øèìïàíèäçå ñå íàðè÷àò... - Òàòå, à ÷óê÷èòå îò êàêâè ìàéìóíè ñà ïðîèçëåçëè... - Îõ, ñèíå, êîëêî ïúòè äà òè ïîâòàðÿì - ïúðâî ñà ñå ïîÿâèëè ÷óê÷èòå, à ïîñëå ìàéìóíèòå Âúðâè ìúæ ïî ïóñòèíÿòà. Äîïèëî ìó ñå âîäà, âäèãíàë ãëàâà íàãîðå è êàçàë: - Ãîñïîäè, êàê ìè ñå ïèå âîäà... Èçâåäíúæ íåáåòî ñå ðàçòâàðÿ è ïðåä íåãî ïàäà åäíà ëîïàòà. Îòãîðå ñå ÷óâà ãëàñ: - Êîïàé!!! ×îâåêúò ïîêîïàë ìàëêî è íàìåðèë âîäà. Íàïèë ñå òîé è êàçàë: - Ãîñïîäè âå÷å íå ñúì æàäåí. Ãëàñ îòãîðå: - Âúðíè ëîïàòàòà! Âúðâè ìúæúò íàòàòúê. Îãëàäíÿë è êàçàë: - Ãîñïîäè, êîëêî ñúì ãëàäåí. Îòãîðå ïàäà ëîïàòà è ãëàñúò êàçâà: - Êîïàé! Êîïàë ìàëêî ÷îâåêúò è íàìåðèë õðàíà. Õàïíàë è êàçàë: - Íàÿäîõ ñå! Ãëàñ îòãîðå: - Âúðíè ëîïàòàòà! Ïðîäúëæèë ÷îâåêúò äà âúðâè è ãî óäàðèë íàãîíúò. Êàçàë: - Ãîñïîäè, êàê ìè ñå ÷óêà! Îòãîðå ïàäà ëîïàòà è îòíîâî ñå ÷óâà ãëàñúò: - Êîïàé! Ïî÷íàë òîé äà êîïàå, êîïàë ÷àñ, êîïàë äâà, ñëåä ïåò ÷àñà êîïàíå ñå èçïðàâèë è êàçàë: - Åãàòè, êàê ñè ãî íà÷óêàõ... Îòãîðå ñå ÷óâà: - Âúðíè ëîïàòàòà!... ×óê÷à ïèøå ïèñìî âêúùè: "Çäðàñòè áðàò ìè, ïðèñòèãíàõìå áëàãîïîëó÷íî. Êâàðòèðàòà, â êîÿòî ñå íàñòàíèõìå å ÷óäåñíà, äàæå èìà è ïåðàëíÿ ìàøèíà, ñàìî äåòî ðàáîòè ñòðàííî. Ñëîæèõ àç äðåõèòå â äóïêàòà, äðúïíàõ âúæåòî, ïîòå÷å âîäàòà, à äðåõèòå èç÷åçíàõà íÿêúäå. Âðåìåòî å õóáàâî, çà ïîñëåäíàòà ñåäìèöà ñàìî äâà ïúòè âàëÿ äúæä. Ïúðâèÿò ïúò çà ÷åòèðè, à âòîðèÿ çà òðè äíè. Æåíàòà ÷àêà äåòå, íî íå çíàå îùå - ìîì÷å èëè ìîìè÷å ùå áúäå, òîåñò íå çíàåì ÷è÷î èëè ëåëÿ ùå ñòàâàø. Ìíîãî ïîçäðàâè. Òâîÿò áðàò. P.S. Èñêàõ äà òè ïðàòÿ ìàëêî ïàðè, àìà âå÷å çàëåïèõ ïëèêà.  ðîäèëíèÿ äîì. Íîâîèçëþïåí áàùà ñå óäèâëÿâà: - Ìàé÷èöå... Áëèçíàöè!!! - Íå! Ñàìî åäíî å, - óñïîêîÿâà ãî ñåñòðàòà. - È ñëåäâàùèÿò ïúò äà äîéäåòå òðåçâåí! Øåôúò: - Çàùî çàêúñíÿõòå çà ðàáîòà? Ïîä÷èíåíèÿò: - Êúñíî èçëÿçîõ îò âêúùè - À, çàùî íå èçëÿçîõòå ïî-ðàíî? - Çàùîòî, âå÷å áåøå êúñíî, äà èçëèçàì ïî-ðàíî Äâàìà ïèÿíè ðóñêè ôèëîñîôè ñè ãîâîðÿò. Ïúðâèÿò: - Êàêâî ìèñëèø, ÷å ùå ñòàíå, àêî â Ðóñèÿ èç÷åçíå âñè÷êàòà âîäêà? Âòîðèÿò: -  ïðèðîäàòà íèùî íå èç÷åçâà áåçñëåäíî! Àêî èçâåäíúæ èç÷åçíå âîäêàòà â Ðóñèÿ, çíà÷è, òÿ ùå ñå ïîÿâè íà äðóãî ìÿñòî. Òî÷íî òàì, êúäåòî ñå ïîÿâè òÿ, òàì ùå áúäå è Ðóñèÿ... Êàïèòàí ñòîè íà ÊÏÏ è ïîñðåùà âîéíèöèòå, êîèòî ñå âðúùàò îò îòïóñê. 18.05. Èäâà áîåö. - Ðåäíèê Èâàíîâ, çàêúñíÿâàòå ñ 5 ìèíóòè - Ãîñïîäèí êàïèòàí, òðúãâàì äà ñå ïðèáèðàì, èçïóñêàì àâòîáóñà, êà÷âàì ñå íà òàêñè, òàêñèòî ñå ñ÷óïâà ïî ïúòÿ, ãëåäàì íÿêàêâè êîíå ïàñàò, ñêà÷àì íà åäèíèÿ è íà ãàëîï, èçâåäíúæ êîíÿò ïàäà ìúðòúâ îò èçòîùåíèå, àç ñêà÷àì è íà áåãîì äî òóê... - Áðàâî, Èâàíîâ! Çà âîëÿòà è ìúæåñòâîòî íÿìà äà òå íàêàæà!  òîâà âðåìå êúì ÊÏÏ-òî ñå çàäàâà âòîðè áîåö. - Ðåäíèê Ïåòðîâ, çàùî çàêúñíÿâàòå? - Ãîñïîäèí êàïèòàí, òðúãâàì äà ñå ïðèáèðàì, èçïóñêàì àâòîáóñà, êà÷âàì ñå íà òàêñè, òàêñèòî ñå ñ÷óïâà ïî ïúòÿ, ãëåäàì íÿêàêâè êîíå ïàñàò, ñêà÷àì íà åäèíèÿ è íà ãàëîï, èçâåäíúæ êîíÿò ïàäà ìúðòúâ îò èçòîùåíèå, àç ñêà÷àì è íà áåãîì äî òóê... - Äîáðå, äîáðå, Ïåòðîâ - ìèíàâàé! Èäâà òðåòè âîéíèê. - Ìàðèíîâ, òè çàùî çàêúñíÿâàø îò îòïóñê, áå? - Ãîñïîäèí êàïèòàí, òðúãâàì äà ñå ïðèáèðàì, èçïóñêàì àâòîáóñà, êà÷âàì ñå íà òàêñè - Äà, áå, äà ïîñëå òàêñèòî ñå ñ÷óïâà è òè íà êîíÿ... - Íå, ãîñïîäèí êàïèòàí, òàêñèòî ñè áåøå çäðàâî ïðåç öÿëîòî âðåìå, îáà÷å ïúòÿò áå îñåÿí ñ ìúðòâè êîíå è äîêàòî ñå ïðîìúêíåì ìåæäó òÿõ... Ðàçãîâîð ìåæäó ïîçíàòè: - Òè êàêâî îáè÷àø ïîâå÷å - âèíîòî èëè æåíèòå? - Âñè÷êî çàâèñè îò ãîäèíàòà íà ïðîèçâîäñòâî...  áëàãîòâîðèòåëíà îðãàíèçàöèÿ çàáåëÿçàëè, ÷å èçâåñòåí àäâîêàò íèêîãà íå å äàâàë íèòî åäíà ñòîòèíêà çà áëàãîòâîðèòåëíîñò. Ïðåäñòàâèòåë íà îðãàíèçàöèÿòà ïîñåùàâà àäâîêàòà. - Âàøàòà ïðàêòèêà å òîëêîâà óñïåøíà, ÷å íàâÿðíî ñòå ìóëòèìèëèîíåð. Íå áèõòå ëè ïîæåðòâàëè ìàëêî ïàðè çà áëàãîòâîðèòåëíîñò? - À âèå çíàåòå ëè, - îòãîâàðÿ àäâîêàòúò - ÷å ìàéêà ìè óìèðà îò òåæêà áîëåñò? Ñìåòêèòå é çà ëå÷åíèå ñà àñòðîíîìè÷åñêè, à òÿ å àáñîëþòíà áåäíÿ÷êà. - Î, ïðîñòåòå ìè, àç, ðàçáèðà ñå, íå çíàì çà òîâà... - À âèå çíàåòå ëè, - ïðîäúëæàâà àäâîêàòúò - ÷å ìîÿò áðàò - âåòåðàí îò âîéíàòà, ëåæè ïðèêîâàí êúì ëåãëîòî? À òîé èìà æåíà è øåñò äåöà... - Î, áîæå, ðàçáèðà ñå, ÷å íå çíàåõ... - À âèå çíàåòå ëè, - ïîâèøàâà ãëàñ àäâîêàòúò - ÷å ìúæúò íà ñåñòðà ìè çàãèíà ïðè àâòîìîáèëíà êàòàñòðîôà è îñòàâè ñåñòðà ìè ïîòúíàëà â äúëãîâà ñ òðè ìàëêè äåöà íà ðúöå? - Î, áîæå ìîé, áîæå ìîé, àç... - Òà òàêà, - çàâúðøâà àäâîêàòúò - ñëåä êàòî àç ïðåç öåëèÿ ñè æèâîò íå ñúì èì äàë åäíà ñòîòèíêà, çàùî ñè ìèñëèòå, ÷å ùå äàì íà âàñ... Ð
[JOKES] brainwashing
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[JOKES] Definitions...
ARCHITECT: Defines someone who was neither macho enough to become an engineer nor gay enough to become a designer.BANKER: Someone who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining and takes it back when it starts to rain.BOY SCOUT: A child dressed like an asshole under the leadership of an asshole dressed like a child.CONSULTANT: Someone who uses your wife's watch, tells you the time, and charges you for it.DIPLOMAT: Someone who tells you to go to hell in a way which makes you eager to start the journey.ECONOMIST: An expert who will know tomorrow why that which he predicted yesterday didn't happen today.FRIEND: Definition of a person of the opposite sex who has that "Je ne sais quoi" which eliminates any desire to try and sleep with them.PESSIMIST: Optimist with experience.PROGRAMMER: Someone who foxes a problem you didn¹t know you had in a way you don¹t understand.PSYCHOLOGIST: Someone who looks at everyone else when an attractive woman enters a room.PRIEST: Someone addressed by everyone as "Father" except his children who call him "uncle".UROLOGIST: Someone who looks at your penis with disdain, touches it with disgust, then charges you as if he'd sucked it.LOVE: Four-letter word, two vowels, two consonants and two idiots.DANCING: The vertical frustration of a horizontal desire.HEADACHE: Method of contraception most widely used by women.INTELLECTUAL: Someone capable of thinking for more than 2 hours about something other than sex.PITIFUL: Someone with an erection who walks into a wall and breaks his nose.TONGUE: Sexual organ which some degenerates use for the purpose of speech.MONOGAMY: Repressed polygamy.NANOSECOND: Fraction of time which occurs between the lights turning green and the car behind honking its horn.NYMPHOMANIAC: Term applied by men to any woman who wants sex more than he does.TEAMWORK: The possibility of putting the blame on others.INTERVIEW: That which can be seen between the interviewee's legs.ETERNITY: Period of time which lasts from when you finished until when you leave her in her house.EASY: Term applied to any woman with the sexual morals of a man.FOOTBALL: That which all women marry without knowing.HARDWARE: The part of the computer which you kick when the software malfunctions.IMPATIENCE: Waiting in a hurry.INDIFFERENCE: Attitude adopted by a woman towards a man in whom she has no interest; interpreted by the man as "playing hard to get".INFLATION: Having to play next years prices on last year's salary.QUANTUM PHYSICS: A black man, looking in the shadows for a black cat which isn't here.
[JOKES] vicove
Ïîëèöàé îòèâàò íà ìÿñòîòî íà ïúòíî-òðàíñïîðòíî ïðîèçøåñòâèå. Ãëåäàò ïðåîáúðíàòà êîëà, à äî íåÿ ñåäè áëîíäèíêà è íåðâíî ïóøè.- Êàêâî ñòàíà? - ïèòà åäèí îò ïîëèöàèòå.- Àìè êàðàì ñè àç, íå áúðçàì, íèêîãî íå èçïðåâàðâàì, èçâåäíúæ ãëåäàì åëõè÷êà, àç íàëÿâî, åëõè÷êàòà è òÿ íàëÿâî, àç íàäÿñíî, åëõè÷êàòà è òÿ íàäÿñíî, ïàê íàëÿâî, åëõè÷êàòà è òÿ íàëÿâî.Çà äà íå ñå óäàðÿ â åëõè÷êàòà, âçåõ ÷å ñå ïðåîáúðíàõ â êàíàâêàòà...Ïîëèöàÿò:- Êâà åëõè÷êà áå? Òóêà â ðàäèóñ äåñåò êèëîìåòðà íÿìà åäíî äúðâî.Áëîíäèíêàòà:- Èìàøå åëõè÷êà, áå! Ñ î÷èòå ñè ÿ âèäÿõ! òîâà âðåìå âòîðèÿò ïîëèöàé îãëåæäà êîëàòà è êðåùè:- Ê'âà åëõè÷êà ìà, òîâà å îñâåæèòåëÿò, äåòî òè âèñè íà îãëåäàëîòî...__Ó÷èòåëêà ñå îïëàêâà íà áàùàòà íà Èâàí÷î: - Âàøèÿò ñèí ìå íàðå÷å ïðîñòèòóòêà. Áàùàòà ñå îáðúùà êúì Èâàí÷î: - Ñëóøàé áå, êåëåø. Ó÷èòåëêàòà ó÷è ëè òå? Ó×È ÒÅ! Ãðèæè ëè ñå çà òåáå? ÃÐÈÆÈ ÑÅ! Êàêâî òîãàâà ïî äÿâîëèòå òå èíòåðåñóâà ñ êàêâî ñå çàíèìàâà â ñâîáîäíîòî ñè âðåìå, áå?___Äâà áîëòà ñå êúïÿò â ìàñëî è áëàæåíñòâàò.- Å ñà äà èìàøå ïî åäíà ãàéêà äà âðúòíåì... - êàçâà åäèíèÿò.- Àìà äà å ðóñà! - îòáåëÿçàë äðóãèÿò.- Ú! Àç íå ñè ïàäàì ïî ìåñèíã...__Äâà áîëòà ñå êúïÿò â ìàñëî è áëàæåíñòâàò.- Å ñà äà èìàøå ïî åäíà ãàéêà äà âðúòíåì... - êàçâà åäèíèÿò.- Àìà äà å àìåðèêàíñêà! - îòáåëÿçàë äðóãèÿò.- Ú! Êàê ìèñëèø äà ñòàíå áå? Òâîéòà ìèëèìåòðîâà ðåçáà à íåéíàòà öîëîâà__Æåíà ïúòóâà ñ òðàáàíò. Çàïî÷âà äà âàëè äúæä. Æåíàòà ñïèðà è ñëèçà äà ñëîæè ÷èñòà÷êèòå. Çàïî÷âà äà ñå ïðåñÿãà è ñè å îïðÿëà ãúðäèòå â ïðåäíîòî ñòúêëî. Ìèíàâà íÿêàêúâ øåãàäæèÿ è îòáåëÿçâà: - È äà ãî êúðìèø, è äà íå ãî êúðìèø, æèãóëà îò íåãî íÿìà äà ñòàíå...__Ñúäèÿòà ñå îáðúùà êúì âîäà÷ íà ÌÏÑ èçïðàâåí ïðåä ñúäà: - Ãîñïîäèíå, ïîëèöàÿò, êîéòî âè äîâåäå òâúðäè, ÷å ñòå ñè ïîçâîëèëè äà èçïîëçâàòå íåïðèñòîéíè èçðàçè. - Àç íå èñêàõ, âàøà ñâåòëîñò. Ïîâÿðâàéòå ìè! Ïðîñòî ïîëèöàÿò òîëêîâà äúëãî ìè ÷åòå ìîðàë, òî÷íî êàêòî ãî ïðàâè æåíà ìè.  åäèí ìîìåí ñå çàáëóäèõ è êàçàõ: "Äà, ðàçáèðà ñå, ñêúïà!". Òîâà å âñè÷êî.__Äâà çàåêà îò ãîðàòà ñè êóïèëè øèøå ðàêèÿ. Ñÿäàò äà ïèÿò, îáà÷å íÿìàò íèùî çà ìåçå. Ãëåäàò - íà åäíî äúðâî ñåäè âðàíà ñ ïàð÷å ñèðåíå â ÷îâêàòà. Åäèíèÿò îòèâà äî äúðâîòî è êàçâà: - Ìàðàáà, âðàíî! Òÿ ìúë÷è. - Èñêàø ëè äà ïîðêàø ñ íàñ? - ÄÀ! - èçãðà÷èëà "ïðîêëåòàòà" ïòèöà.Ñèðåíåòî ïàäà, çàéöèòå ãî âçèìàò è ñè ïèÿò è ìåçÿò ñàìè. Íà ñëåäâàùèÿ äåí çàéöèòå îòíîâî ìúêíàò øèøå ðàêèÿ è ïàê íÿìàò ìåçå. Íà äúðâîòî îòíîâî ñåäè âðàíàòà ñ ïàð÷å ñèðåíå. - Âðàíî, èñêàø ëè äà ïîðêàø ñ íàñ? Ìúë÷àíèå... Çàåêúò âàäè ÷àøà è çàïî÷âà äà íàëèâà... - Ñòèãà ëè òè òîëêîâà? Âðàíàòà: - Äà! - èçöåïèëà ñå îíàÿ ïàê...Ñèðåíåòî ïàäà è... ò.í... Íà òðåòèÿò äåí âñè÷êî ñå ñëó÷âà îòíîâî. - Âðàíî, ùå ïîðêàø ëè? Ìúë÷àíèå... Çàåêúò íàëèâà ... - Ñòèãà ëè òîëêîâà? Ìúë÷àíèå... - Òè êâî, ìà? Ìèñëèø ñè, ÷å èñêàì äà òå ïðåêàðàì ëè? - ÄÀ!...
[JOKES] tombstone, cannabis...
[JOKES] oshte malko vicove
Ïúòíèöè ñåäÿò â ñàìîëåòà, ÷àêàò èçëèòàíå, à ñàìîëåòà íå èçëèòà. Îáÿñíÿâàò èì, ÷å ïèëîòèòå íå ñà äîøëè îùå. Íàé-íàêðàÿ ïèëîòèòå ñå çàäàâàò è ïúòíèöèòå óäèâåíè çàáåëÿçâàò, ÷å è äâàìàòà ñà ñëåïè. Åäèíèÿò ïî÷óêâà ñ áàñòóí÷å, à äðóãèÿò âúðâè ñëåä êó÷å-âîäà÷. Ïúòíèöèòå íåäîóìÿâàò. Ïèëîòèòå ñå êà÷âàò â ñàìîëåòà, ïàëÿò äâèãàòåëèòå. Ïúòíèöèòå ñà â ïàíèêà. Ñàìîëåòà èçëèçà íà ïèñòàòà è çàïî÷âà äà íàáèðà ñêîðîñò çà èçëèòàíå. Ïúòíèöèòå ñà â óæàñ. Äî êðàÿ íà ïèñòàòà îñòàâàò 300 ìåòðà, 250, 200, 100 Ïúòíèöèòå êðåùÿò îò óæàñ, à ñàìîëåòà ñå âäèãà ðÿçêî è èçëèòà áëàãîïîëó÷íî.  ïèëîòñêàòà êàáèíà ïèëîòèòå ðàçãîâàðÿò: - Åõ, áðàò÷å, ïðåäñòàâÿø ëè ñè - Òåçè ïúòíèöè åäèí ïúò íÿìà äà ñå ðàçâèêàò è òîãàâà ùå ñå ðàçáèåì!!! __ - How do you do? - All right! Ïðåâîä: - Êàê ãî ïðàâèø? - Âñè÷êî âäÿñíî. Ñóáòèòðè íà ôèëì ___ Äåéâèä Êîïåðôèéëä ïðèñòèãà íà òóðíå â Áúëãàðèÿ.  åäíà îò âå÷åðèòå èçíàñÿ ïðåäñòàâëåíèå íà ìèòíè÷àðè. Ñëåä ïðåäñòàâëåíèåòî ñå ñúáèðàò è çàïî÷âàò äà ïèÿò. Íàðÿçâàò ñå åäíî õóáàâî.  ïîðèâ íà îòêðîâåííîñò Äåéâèä êàçâà íà ñåäÿùèÿ äî íåãî ìèòíè÷àð: - Èñêàø ëè äà òè íàïðàâÿ åäèí ôîêóñ? - Ïîêàçâàé! - Âèæäàø ëè îíÿ âàãîí? - Äà. - Õîï... - âàãîíà ãî íÿìà. Ìèòíè÷àðÿò: - Èñêàø ëè àç äà òè ïîêàæà åäèí ôîêóñ? - Ïîêàçâàé! - Âèæäàø ëè òîÿ âëàê íàòîâàðåí ñ áÿëà òåõíèêà? - Äà. - Õîï! - èçâàæäà ïå÷àòà îò äæîáà ñè è ãî òðÿñâà âúðõó ìèòíè÷åñêàòà äåêëàðàöèÿ... - áóðêàíè ñúñ çåëåí ãðàõ! __ Äàìà âîäè áîëîíêà íà êàèøêà. Íåî÷àêâàíî áîëîíêàòà óõàïâà íÿêàêúâ ìúæ ïî êðàêà. Òîé ñå ñïèðà, ðîâè èçâåñòíî âðåìå â äæîáîâåòå ñè, èçâàæäà åäèí áîíáîí è ãî ïîäàâà íà êó÷åíöåòî. Äàìàòà óäèâåíî âúçêëèêâà: - Àìà òÿ âè óõàïà, à âèå é äàâàòå áîíáîí÷å! - Àìè äà, ðàçáèðà ñå, ÷å ùå é äàì. Èñêàì äà âèäÿ êúäå é å óñòàòàòà è äà é ðàçáèÿ ïîñëå çúáêèòå íà ãàäèíàòà ìðúñíà... ___ Æåíà âúðâè ïî óëèöàòà è âèæäà ìúæ, êîéòî ñå å êà÷èë íà óëè÷íî êàíòàð÷å äà ñå ïðåìåðè. Êîãàòî æåíàòà íàáëèæàâà äî íåãî âèæäà êàê ìúæúò å õâàíàë ñ äâå ðúöå îãðîìíèÿò ñè êîðåì è ãî ïîâäèãà íàãîðå. - Ïè÷, òîâà íÿìà äà òè ïîìîãíå... - åõèäíî îòáåëÿçâà òÿ. - Ðàçáèðà ñå, ÷å ùå ïîìîãíå, êàê èíà÷å äà âèäÿ öèôðèòå íà êàíòàð÷åòî __ =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= * send mails to [EMAIL PROTECTED] * PLEASE do not post offensive jokes * message size limit is 150 KB * List info and instructions are available at http://harbinger.sirma.bg/lists/jokes.html and in the header of this email =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
[JOKES] 149:0
http://www.focus-news.net/news/news_read_popup.php?layout=0&news_id=123202&na_chasa=0&news=today
[JOKES] vicove
Âúïðîñ êúì ðàäèî Åðåâàí: - Êîãà åäèí ñëåïåö ìîæå äà ïîëó÷è êëàóñòðîôîáèÿ? Îòãîâîð: - Êîãàòî ìó ñëîæèòå áàñòóíà â êîôà. Ïîïèòàëè Ðàäèî Åðåâàí: - Êàêâà å ðàçëèêàòà ìåæäó äèðåêòîðà è ìúæà? - Äèðåêòîðúò çíàå êîé ìó å çàìåñòíèê, à ìúæúò íå.  ñàìîëåòà. Ñòþàðäåñà êàçâà: - Ìîëÿ, âñè÷êè äà çàòåãíàò êîëàíèòå!  ñàëîíà ñå ÷óâà íåäîâîëåí ìúæêè ãëàñ: - Ìîëÿ, áåç ïîëèòèêà! Ñòàðåö ñå îæåíèë çà ìëàäà äåâîéêà. Ñëåä åäíà ãîäèíà ÿ âîäè â áîëíèöàòà äà ðàæäà. - Àìà âèå ìîæåòå! - ó÷óäåí ïèòà äîêòîðà. - Ìîòîðà âèíàãè òðÿáâà äà ðàáîòè! - ãîðäî çàÿâÿâà äÿäêàòà. Ñëåä îùå åäíà ãîäèíà ïàê ÿ âîäè â áîëíèöàòà äà ðàæäà. - Àìà âèå îùå ìîæåòå! - ïàê ñå ÷óäè äîêòîðúò. - Ìîòîðà âèíàãè òðÿáâà äà ðàáîòè! - ïàê ãîðäî îòâðúùà äÿäêàòà. Ñëåä íÿêîëêî ÷àñà äîêòîðúò èçëèçà îò ðîäèëíîòî è ñ äîâîëíà óñìèâêà êàçâà: - Å, äåäåíöå, òðÿáâà äà ñìåíèø ìàñëîòî - ÷åðíî ñå ðîäè! Ïðèÿòåë íà áëîíäèíêà ñëóæèòåëêà â ïîùàòà çàãðèæåíî ÿ ïèòà: - Çíà÷è òè ïî öÿë äåí, öåëè îñåì ÷àñà íåïðåêúñíàòî óäðÿø ïå÷àòè ïî ïèñìàòà. Íå òè ëè ïèñâà, òà òîâà å åäíà èçêëþ÷èòåëíî ìîíîòîííà ðàáîòà... - Ùî äà å ìîíîòîííà, áå. Íàëè âñåêè äåí ñìåíÿì äàòàòà íà ïå÷àòà... Äâà ïðèçðàêà ñå ðàçõîæäàò èç ñòàð çàìúê â íîùòà íà Âñè Ñâåòèè. Èçâåäíúæ, íåùî ïî ñòúëáèòå çàïî÷âà äà ñêúðöà. Åäèíèÿò ïðèçðàê ïîäñêà÷à îò ñòðàõ è ñå ñêðèâà çàä äðóãèÿ. Âòîðèÿò ïðèçðàê ñå îáðúùà, ïîòóïâà ãî ïî ðàìîòî è áëàãî êàçâà: - Ñòèãà, áå! Òè äà íå áè äà âÿðâàø íà âñè÷êèòå òåçè ïðèêàçêè çà æèâèòå?! Ìëàäà, êðàñèâà æåíà ñå ïðèãîòâÿ çà ïðåãëåä ïðè çúáîëåêàð. Ìúæúò é ïèòà: - Êàòî ùå õîäèø íà çúáîëåêàð, çàùî ñè ñìåíÿø è áåëüîòî, ìà? - Ìè, îòêúäå äà ãî çíàì êàêúâ å òîÿ äîêòîð. Àìè àêî å íÿêîé íàõàë... Âúçðàñòíà äâîéêà îòáåëÿçâà ñðåáúðíàòà ñè ñâàòáà. Èçâåäíúæ ñå ïîÿâÿâà åäíà ôåÿ è êàçâà: - Çà òîâà, ÷å ñòå æèâåëè 25 ãîäèíè â ìèð è ñúãëàñèå, àç ñúì ãîòîâà äà âè èçïúëíÿ ïî åäíî æåëàíèå. Æåíàòà: - Êàêâî ëè ìîãà âå÷å äà ñè ïîæåëàÿ À ñåòèõ ñå, öÿë æèâîò ñúì ñè ìå÷òàëà äà ïîïúòóâàì ìàëêî èç ÷óæáèíà, äà ïîïúòåøåñòâàì... Ùðàê...  ðúöåòå é ñå ïîÿâÿâà áèëåò çà îêîëîñâåòñêî ïúòåøåñòâèå. Ìúæúò: - Àç ïúê èñêàì, æåíà ìè äà å ñ 30 ãîäèíè ïî-ìëàäè÷êà îò ìåíå. Ùðàê...è îäúðòÿë ñ 30 ãîäèíè Ìóòðà ñòîè ïðåä îãëåäàëîòî è ìèñëè. Ïî-åäíî âðåìå ïðèÿòåëêàòà ìó âèêà îò êóõíÿòà: - Æîðî, êàôåòî å ãîòîâî. - Äà áå... Æîðî áåøå! - çàðàäâàë ñå òîé. Äâå áëîíäèíêè: - Íàó÷èõ, ÷å ìúæúò ìè ìè èçíåâåðÿâà. Ñåãà ñå ÷óäÿ äàëè äà ìó êàæà? - Çàùî? Òîé è áåç òîâà ñè ãî çíàå. Ïî âðåìå íà ôóòáîëåí ìà÷. Çàïàëÿíêî ñåäè è ïîñòîÿííî ïîâòàðÿ: - 22-ìà èãðà÷è, 10 000 çðèòåëè, òðèìà ñúäèè, äâàìà òðåíüîðè... Ìåæäó äâåòå ïîëóâðåìåíà ñúñåäúò ìó ïî ìÿñòî íà òðèáóíàòà ãî ïèòà: - Àáå, ÷îâå÷å, ïîáúðêà ìå! Çàùî íåïðåêúñíàòî ïîâòàðÿø - 22-ìà èãðà÷è, 10 000 çðèòåëè, òðèìà ñúäèè, äâàìà òðåíüîðè? - Çàùîòî òîëêîâà õîðà èìà â ìîìåíòà íà ñòàäèîíà, à òúïèÿò ãëàðóñ ñå èçñðà òî÷íî íà ìîÿòà ãëàâà... "...Êàê å âúçìîæíî íàøàòà ìëàäåæ äà ñå óâëè÷à ïî õåâè-ìåòúëà è äðóãè óïàäú÷íè çàïàäíè ñòèëîâå è òî êîãàòî íàøàòà Ëèëè Èâàíîâà ïîêîðè öåëèÿ ñâÿò, ßïîíèÿ è íÿêîè äðóãè çàïàäíè ñòðàíè..." Êîìñîìîëñêè ñåêðåòàð íà ñúáðàíèå * - Êàêâà å ïðÿêàòà çàâèñèìîñò ìåæäó êðàêàòà è ãúðëîòî? - Êàòî ñè íàìîêðèø êðàêàòà - áîëè òå ãúðëîòî, êàòî ñè íàìîêðèø ãúðëîòî - íå òå äúðæàò êðàêàòà... Ìúæ ñè ïîðú÷âà äâå õàëáè áèðà â áàðà. Âçèìà ãè, îòèâà â òîàëåòíàòà è ñëåä ìàëêî ñå âðúùà ñ ïðàçíè õàëáè. Ïàê ïîðú÷âà, ïàê ãè íîñè â òîàëåòíàòà. Íà ÷åòâúðòèÿ ïúò áàðìàíúò îòèâà äà ïðîâåðè, êàêâî ñòàâà. Ãëåäà ìúæúò èçëèâà áèðàòà â òîàëåòíàòà. Áàðìàíúò: - Ãîñïîäèíå, íå âè ëè õàðåñâà áèðàòà? ×îâåêúò: - Áèðàòà ñè å ñóïåð, àìà íà ìåí ìè ïèñíà äà ñúì ïîñðåäíèê...
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Çàáëóäèë ñå åäèí íåãúð â ïóñòèíÿòà. Âúðâÿë, âúðâÿë è èçâåäíúæ íàìåðèë åäíà áóòèëêà. Îòâîðèë ÿ, à îò âúòðå èçëÿçúë åäèí äóõ, êîéòî êàçàë, ÷å ùå ìó èçïúëíè òðè æåëàíèÿ, çàäåòî ãî å îñâîáîäèë Ïîìèñëèë íåãúðúò è êàçàë: - Ïúðâî, èñêàì, äà èìà ìíîãî âîäà, âòîðî äà ñúì áÿë è òðåòî âñè÷êè æåíè, êàòî ìå âèäÿò, äà ñå ñúáëè÷àò. Ïîìèñëèë ìàëêî äóõúò è ãî ïðåâúðíàë â òîàëåòíà ÷èíèÿ. Øåô êúì ïîä÷èíåíèÿ ñè: - Íå ìèñëèòå ëè, ÷å òîâà å ìàëêî ïðåêàëåíî - âå÷å øåñòè ïúò ìè èñêàòå îòïóñêà, çàùîòî äÿäî âè áèë íà ñìúðòíî ëåãëî? - Àìè äà, è àç âå÷å âçåõ äà ñå ÷óäÿ äàëè äÿäî íå ñèìóëèðà... Èç òåëåâèçèîííî èíòåðâþ ñ ïîëèòèê: " - ÍÀÒÎ å êàòî çàñòàðÿâàùà æåíà, èñêà äà ñå ïîäìëàäè, ïîñðåäñòâîì ïðèåìàíå íà ìëàäè ÷ëåíîâå..." Ìúæ è æåíà ñ ïîò íà ÷åëàòà áóòàò ñâîÿòà êîëà êúì àâòîñåðâèçà. Ìúæúò ìúðìîðè: - Îíÿ, äåòî íè ïðîäàäå òîÿ òàðàëÿñíèê, áåøå ïðàâ ñàìî çà åäíî íåùî... Æåíàòà, ÿäîñàíî: - Çà êîå, áå? - Çà êîå, çà êîå?! Çà òîâà, ÷å òàÿ áàðàêà ïî÷òè íå õàð÷è áåíçèí... - Êîãàòî ó íàñ èçáóõíà ïîæàð, àç ñå âòóðíàõ â ñòàÿòà è èçíåñîõ òúùàòà íà ðúöå... - Íàïúëíî òå ðàçáèðàì, òî â òàêèâà ìîìåíòè ÷îâåê íå ìèñëè... Åäèí èêîíîìèñò çàìèíàë â êîìàíäèðîâêà çà ãðàäà, â êîéòî ïðåäè ìíîãî ãîäèíè å áèë ñòóäåíò. Ðåøèë äà íàâåñòè ñòàðèÿ óíèâåðñèòåò. Ñðåùíàë ñå ñúñ ñòàðèòå ïðåïîäàâàòåëè, ïîãîâîðèëè ñè çà ìíîãî íåùà... Èçâåäíúæ òîé âèæäà íà áþðîòî íà åäèí îò ïðåïîäàâàòåëèòå âúïðîñíèê çà èçïèò. Âçåìà ãî è ãî ïðî÷èòà âíèìàòåëíî, ñëåä êîåòî ñå îáðúùà êúì åäèí îò ïðåïîäàâàòåëèòå è ïèòà: - À, êàêâî ñòàâà, âúïðîñèòå çà èçïèòà ñà ñúùèòå, êàêâèòî áÿõà è ïðåäè äåñåò ãîäèíè? - Âúïðîñèòå ñà ñúùèòå, êîëåãà - ñúãëàñÿâà ñå ïðåïîäàâàòåëÿò. - Îáà÷å îòãîâîðèòå ñà äðóãè... Ëåæàò íà ïîêðèâà äâå êåðåìèäè - ìëàäà è ñòàðà. Ìëàäàòà: - ×è÷î, õàéäå äà ñêî÷èì îò ïîêðèâà! - ×àêàé, áå, ïî-äîáðå äà ïî÷àêàìå íÿêîé ÷îâåê... - Åòî ãî, áå, åòî èäâà åäèí ïî óëèöàòà, õàéäå äà ñêà÷àìå! Ñêà÷àò. Ëåòÿò íàäîëó è ìëàäàòà êåðåìèäà ÿäîñàíî êðåùè: - Åãàñè, òîÿ å ñ êàñêà... - Ìëàäî è çåëåíî ñè îùå, èìàø ìíîãî äà ñå ó÷èø. Ñåãà ùå òè ïîêàæà, êàêâî ñå ïðàâè â òàêèâà ñëó÷àè - óñìèõâà ñå ïîêðîâèòåëñòâåíî ñòàðàòà êåðåìèäà è òèõè÷êî ïîäâèêâà íà ìèíàâàùèÿò îòäîëó ìúæ: - Åé, ïè÷... Äåæóðåí ìàòðîñ äîêëàäâà íà êàïèòàíà íà ïðåçîêåàíñêè òóðèñòè÷åñêè êîðàá: - Ãîñïîäèí êàïèòàí, ðàçðåøåòå äà äîëîæà - èìàìå ïðîáîéíà íà êîðàáà! Êàïèòàíúò: - Êàê ðàçáðàõòå? Ìàòðîñúò: -  ïëóâíèÿ áàñåéí èìà àêóëà! Ñðåùàò ñå äâå áëîíäèíêè: - Ìóöêà, îòêúäå èäâàø? - À, õîäèõ íà ëåêàð, ÷å îò íÿêîëêî äíè ìå áîëè ãëàâàòà íåùî. - È ê`âî ñòàíà ïðè ëåêàðÿ? - Àìè ïðàâèõà ìè ñíèìêà íà ãëàâàòà, àìà íèùî íå îòêðèõà òàì Ìúæ êúì æåíà ñè: - Ñúêðîâèùå, ìîæåø ëè äà èãðàåø íà êðèåíèöà? - Ðàçáèðà ñå, ëþáîâ ìîÿ! - Òîãàâà ìîæå ëè äà ñå ñêðèåø, àìà òàêà, ÷å äà íå ìîãà äà òå íàìåðÿ íèêîãà. Áëîíäèíêà (ó÷óäåíî!): - Àìà èíòåðíåò ðàáîòè ëè â ñúáîòà è íåäåëÿ?!? Ìëàä åâðåèí, êîéòî ó÷è èêîíîìèêà ïèòà áàùà ñè /ñòàð òúðãîâåö/: - Òàòå, åäèí îò âúïðîñèòå ìè çà èçïèòà å: "Êàêâî å åòèêà â áèçíåñà?". Áè ëè ìè ðàçÿñíèë òîçè âúïðîñ? - Åòèêà? Òè ìå ïèòàø çà åòèêàòà? Õì... Ùå òè äàì åäèí ïðèìåð: Âëèçà â ìàãàçèíà ìëàäà æåíà è êóïóâà ðîêëÿ çà 80 äîëàðà. Ïëàùà ñ áàíêíîòà îò 100 äîëàðà è âúîäóøåâåíà îò íîâàòà ïîêóïêà, èçëèçà îò ìàãàçèíà, çàáðàâÿéêè äà ñè âçåìå ðåñòîòî îò 20 äîëàðà. Òî÷íî òóê, ñèíêî, âúçíèêâà âúïðîñúò çà åòèêàòà... Äà êàæà ëè çà òîâà íà ñâîÿ ïàðòíüîð èëè íå... Íà óðîê ïî ðóñêè åçèê ó÷èòåëêàòà ïèòà Èâàí÷î: - ß êàæè, êàê óñïÿ äà íàó÷èø ïàäåæèòå â ðóñêèÿ åçèê? - Ãîñïîæî, íàó÷èõ ãè ïî òàòêîâàòà ìåòîäèêà. - È êàêâà å òÿ? - Àìè òàêàâà: - Äåíÿò áåøå ÈÌÅÍÈÒÅËÅÍ. - Âå÷åðòà áåøå ÒÂÎÐÈÒÅËÅÍ. - Àç áÿõ ÏÐÅÄËÎÆÅÍ. - Òÿ áåøå ÄÀÒÅËÅÍ. - Ñåãà íå ñúì ÂÈÍÈÒÅËÅÍ. - Çàùîòî òÿ å ÐÎÄÈÒÅËÅÍ...
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Ãîëÿì øåô ðåøèë, äà ïðîâåðè, êîëêî ñà óìíè ïîä÷èíåíèòå ìó. Îòèâà ïðè ñåêðåòàðêàòà: - Êîëêî å äâå ïî äâå? - Èñêàòå ëè ïîäðîáåí ðàïîðò èëè òàêà? - Äàâàé òàêà! - ×åòèðè! Îòèâà ïðè êîìïþòúðíèÿ ñïåöèàëèñò: - Êîëêî å äâå ïî äâå? Îíÿ ïóñíàë Excel è ñëåä ïåò ìèíóòè êçâà: - Ïîëó÷àâà ñå 4.00 E+0, íî íå ñúì ñèãóðåí, ùå òðÿáâà äà ïèòàì ïðîãðàìèñòà, òîé ùå ïîìîãíå! Îòèâà ïðè ñ÷åòîâîäèòåëÿ: - 2õ2=? - À, äà, ñåãà ùå ãî ïðîâåðèì. Çíà÷è ñïîðåä ìåí å íÿêúäå ìåæäó 3.196... è... äà êàæåì... 5.659. Íî ïî-òî÷åí îòãîâîð ìîãà äà äàì ñëåä äâå ñåäìèöè! Îòèâà ïðè ìåíèäæúðà ïî ïðîäàæáèòå: - 2õ2=? - À, êîëêî òðÿáâà äà áúäå? - Àìè àç òåá ïèòàì! - Ììì... çíà÷è íÿìà äà êàæåòå âàøàòà öåíà!? Äîáðå, äà êàæåì, ÷å å øåñò! Íå, íå, ïî÷àêàéòå! Âèå äîáðå çíàåòå ïàçàðà! Ìîãà äà âè ãî äàì çà 5.25, êàòî íà ïðèÿòåë! Îòèâà ïðè þðèñò-êîíñóëòà: - Êîëêî å äâå ïî äâå? - Òðÿáâà ëè äà îòãîâîðÿ? - Äà! - Àìè â íà÷àëîòî ùå êàæà 4, íî ñ äîáðà çàùèòà ìîæå äà ñå ïîëó÷è è 3! * Áàáà Èëèéöà áðúêâà â ïàçâàòà ñè, íî òàì íàìèðà ñàìî ñóõè êîðè÷êè õëÿá. * "Êàðà ñòîë â êîðèäîðà!" Çàáåëåæêà â áåëåæíèê. * Èç ðàçêàç íà ñòàð ìîðñêè âúëê: - Çíà÷è âåäíúæ ìîÿò êîðàá ïîïàäíà â òàêàâà ãúñòà ìúãëà, ÷å äîðè íîñà íå ìîæåõ äà ñè âèäÿ. Âíåçàïíî, êîãàòî âå÷å ñå áÿõ îò÷àÿë íàïúëíî, âèäÿõ â äàëå÷èíàòà ñëàá îãúí. Ñèëèòå ìè ñå âúðíàõà è ïúëåí ñ íàäåæäà àç çàâúðòÿõ ùóðâàëà è íàñî÷èõ êîðàáà êúì îãúíÿ. Îãúíÿò ñå ïðèáëèæàâàøå, ïðèáëèæàâàøå, ñòàâàøå âñå ïî-ÿðúê è êîíòðàñòåí, è, íàêðàÿ, ðàçáðàõ, ÷å òîâà å . îãúíÿò íà ìîÿòà öèãàðà.. - Èâàí÷î, òè çàùî ñè ïóñíàë òóõëà íà ãëàâàòà íà äÿäî òè? - Àç íÿìà ïîâå÷å... - Òî ïîâå÷å íå ìó è òðÿáâà... Ìúæ áèë â êîìàíäèðîâêà â Èòàëèÿ. Òàì ñå çàïîçíàë ñ åäíà èòàëèàíêà. Âëþáèë ñå äî óøè â íåÿ. Ñëåä èçâåñòíî âðåìå òÿ ìó êàçàëà, ÷å å áðåìåííà. - Ñëóøàé, àç òðÿáâà äà çàìèíà, íî òè íå ñå ïðèòåñíÿâàé. Ðàæäàé äåòåòî, à êîãàòî ðîäèø ùå ñå ðàçâåäà ñúñ ñúïðóãàòà ñè è ùå äîéäà ïðè òåáå.. - À êàê äà òè ñúîáùÿ, êîãàòî ðîäÿ? - Òè ïðîñòî ìè èçïðàòè åäíà òåëåãðàìà, ñ åäíà åäèíñòâåíà äóìà "ÑÏÀÃÅÒÈ". Àç ùå ðàçáåðà âñè÷êî. Çàìèíàë ñè òîé, à ñëåä äåâåò ìåñåöà, æåíà ìó çâúíè â ñëóæáàòà ìó è êàçâà, ÷å å ïîëó÷èëà ñòðàííà òåëåãðàìà. Ìúæúò ñå ïðèáèðà áúðçî âêúùè, âçèìà òåëåãðàìàòà, ïðî÷èòà ÿ è ïàäà â áåçñúçíàíèå. Íà íåÿ ïèøå: "ÑÏÀÃÅÒÈ, ÑÏÀÃÅÒÈ, ÑÏÀÃÅÒÈ è ÑÏÀÃÅÒÈ. ÄÂÅ Ñ ÏÈØÊÈ È ÄÂÅ ÁÅÇ"... Ãîâîðÿò ñè äâå ïðèÿòåëêè - Òè ñ âèáðàòîð ïðîáâàëà ëè ñè? - Íå. - Íå òè è òðÿáâà, àç ùÿõ äà ñè èçáèÿ çúáèòå. Êàòàäæèÿ ñïå÷åëè ãîëÿìàòà ïå÷àëáà îò ëîòàðèÿòà, âúçëèçàùà íà åäèí ìèëèîí ëåâà. Ïîêàíèë ïî òîçè ïîâîä êîëåãèòå ñè è çàïî÷íàë äà ãè ÷åðïè. - È êàêâî ùå ïðàâèø ñ òîëêîâà ìíîãî ïàðè? Ñèãóðíî ùå ñè êóïèø íîâà êúùà è êîëà? - ïèòàò òå. - Íå, áðàòëåòà. Èñêàì äà ñè êóïÿ åäíî êðúñòîâèùå â öåíòúðà è äà ñè ðàáîòÿ çà ñîáñòâåíî óäîâîëñòâèå Ñèìïàòè÷íà äåâîéêà ñåäè íà àâòîáóñíàòà ñïèðêà. Äóõâà ñèëåí âÿòúð, ïîâäèãà é ïîëàòà è ÿ êà÷âà ÷àê íà ðàìåíåòå. Äåâîéêàòà îïðàâÿ äðåõàòà ñè íàáúðçî è â òîâà âðåìå çàáåëÿçâà êàê íåïîçíàò ìúæ ÿ ãëåäà ñ èíòåðåñ. - Âèæäàì, ÷å íå ñòå äæåíòúëìåí! âúçìóùàâà ñå òÿ. - Àìè òî è àç âèäÿõ, ÷å íå ñòå äæåíòúëìåí! îòãîâàðÿ òîé. Äàìà âëèçà â àïòåêà. Êúì íåÿ ñå ïðèáëèæàâà àïòåêàðÿò. - Ñ êàêâî ìîãà äà âè ïîìîãíà, ãîñïîæî? - Ùå âè êàæà, íî ïúðâî ìè îòãîâîðåòå - èìàòå ëè ìåäèöèíñêî îáðàçîâàíèå? - Äà, çàâúðøèë ñúì ìåäèöèíñêè èíñòèòóò, ñïåöèàëíîñò ôàðìàöèÿ. - Áåç òðîéêè? - Ñ îòëè÷íà äèïëîìà! - Òîãàâà ñúì ñïîêîéíà. Äàéòå ìè åäèí ïàêåò ïàìóê. Âúðâè ïî óëèöàòà åäèí ÷îâåê, à â îáóâêàòà ìó ñëó÷àéíî âëÿçëî êàìú÷å. Ïðèáëèæèë ñå ÷îâåêúò äî åäèí ñòúëá, ïîäïðÿë ñå ñ ðúêà íà íåãî è çàïî÷íàë äà ðèòà ñ êðàê, çà äà èçïàäíå êàìú÷åòî. Êúì íåãî ñå ïðèáëèæàâà íàáåãîì åäèí ïåíñèîíåð è çàïî÷âà äà ãî áèå ïðåç ðúêàòà ñ áàñòóíà. ×îâåêúò ñå îáðúùà è ïèòà: - Òè ïîëóäÿ ëè, áå? Ùî ìå áèåø. - Íå áå ïîìèñëèõ, ÷å òîêúò òå õâàíàë Ñåðâèòüîð çàäúõàíî ñå ïðèáëèæàâà äî ìàñàòà íà êëèåíò è ìó êàçâà: - Áúðçî, ãîñïîäèíå, èçÿæòå âåäíàãà ðèáàòà , êîÿòî âè äîíåñîõ... - Àìà, çàùî òîëêîâà áúðçî? - Çàùîòî äîéäå ïðîâåðêà îò ÕÅÈ-òî... Êàòàäæèÿ ñïèðà íà êðúñòîâèùå åäèí "Ìîñêâè÷" è ïèòà øîôüîðà: - Îáè÷àòå ëè äà êàðàòå êîëà? - Îáè÷àì! - Å ùî íå âçåìåòå äà ñè êóïèòå è äà ñå íàó÷èòå ...!?! Ñëåä êîðàáîêðóøåíèå íà íåîáèòàåì îñòðîâ, ñúñòîÿù ñå îò åäíà åäèíñòâåíà ïàëìà è ïÿñúê íàâñÿêúäå, ïîïàäàò ñåìåéñòâî - âúçðàñòåí ñúïðóã è ìëàäà ñúïðóãà è åäèí îò ìîðÿöèòå. Ìëàäàòà æåíà è ìîðÿêúò ñå õàðåñàëè è ðåøèëè äà ñå èç÷óêàò... íî êàê, êàòî ìúæà è å òàì... Ìîðÿêúò ñå êà÷âà íà ïàëìàòà, óæ äà ñïè, à ñåìåéñòâîòî ñåäÿò íà ïÿñúêà è òèõî ñè ãîâîðÿò. Ìîðÿêúò ñå ïðîâèêâà: - ß íå ñå ÷óêàéòå òàì äîëó!! Ìúæúò âäèãà ãëàâà: - Àìà íèå íå ñå ÷óêàìå!!! Ìîðÿêúò: - ß íå ëúæè. Õåì íå ìè äàâàòå äà ñïÿ, õåì ëúæåòå. Îòòóê ñå âèæäà èäåàëíî, êàêâî ïðàâèòå. Ìúæúò /â èñòåðèÿ/: - Àìà íå ñå ÷óêàìå Ìîðÿêúò ñëèçà îò ïàëìàòà, âíèìàòåëíî îãëåæäà âñè÷êî è êàçâà: - Ìäà, à îò ïàëìàòà èçãëåæäàøå, ÷å âñå åäíî ñå ÷óêàòå. Ìúæúò: - Íå ìîæå äà áúäå!! Ìîðÿêúò: - Àìè êà÷è ñå ãîðå è ùå âèäèø. Êà÷âà ñå ìúæúò íà ïàëìàòà, ãëåäà íàäî
[JOKES] Opera baby
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[JOKES] Obqsnenie w lubov
I LOVE YOU MORE THAN MY COMPUTER. Believe me it is true... You installed the best in me. Your picture is always in my background. You clicked my heart gently. You drive me crazy when I see you. Your love reset my life and deleted all the sadness in me. You restored my kindness after I thought it was corrupted. I'm always connected to you with more than 56 heart beat per second. You hacked my brain and registered your name in it. You are the only one that could navigate my feelings and explore my emotions at the same time. I feel lost when I try to call you and you are not responding. I always feel you close to me when I shut down my eyes, or when I open my windows waiting for you to pass. You are the only one that can log into my heart and never log out. I dream of being your only server as long as I live. You don't have to search for me, cause we are always linked to each others. I see your name everywhere, my frontpage, my homepage and all my software. I scanned my life and found that I'm only infected by you. You are the virus I'd never remove, and why should I do? You formatted my life and added happiness to view. Believe me it is true... I love you more than my CPU!
[JOKES] Studentski zakoni
BEGIN:VCARD VERSION:2.1 N:Terziev;Ivan;Nikolaev FN:Ivan Nikolaev Terziev NICKNAME:Vozd ORG:EngView Systems Sofia Corp. - A Sirma Group Company;Research & Development TITLE:Technical Writer TEL;WORK;VOICE:(+359) 2 9810018-134/131 TEL;CELL;VOICE:+359 87 968439 ADR;WORK:;;60 Solunska Str., Apt. 8;Sofia;;1000;Bulgaria LABEL;WORK;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:60 Solunska Str., Apt. 8=0D=0ASofia 1000=0D=0ABulgaria ADR;HOME:;;;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;HOME;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:Sofia=0D=0ABulgaria X-WAB-GENDER:2 URL;WORK:http://www.engview.com; http://www.sirma.com EMAIL;PREF;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] EMAIL;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] REV:20021011T093405Z END:VCARD "Íà ñòóäåíòà ìó ñå ñëó÷âà âèíàãè íàé-ëîøîòî" I.Çàêîíè çà èçïèòèòå: 1.Âèíàãè ñå ïàäà òîçè âúïðîñ, êîéòî çíàåø íàé-ìàëêî. 2.Àêî ñå ïàäíå âúïðîñ, êîéòî çíàåì, òî ñå îêàçâà ÷å ãî çíàåì íåäîñòàòú÷íî. 3.Êîëêîòî ïî-ãîòèíî å íà ñòóäåíòà ïðåç ñåìåñòúðà, òîëêîâà å ïî-ãàäíà ñåñèÿòà. 4.Âèíàãè, êîãàòî îòèäåø íà ëåêöèÿ ñå îêàçâà ÷å ïðîôåñîðà å áîëåí. 5.À àêî ñëó÷àéíî èìà ëåêöèÿ, òî òÿ å ïðîäúëæåíèå îò ïðåäíàòà, à àêî íå å òàêà, òî ñå îêàçâà ÷å å ñúâñåì ìàëîâàæíà, à àêî íå å ìàëîâàæíà, òî ïðîôåñîðà ìúíêà è íå ñå ÷óâà îò ïîñëåäíèòå ðåäîâå. 6.Âèíàãè ïðåïîðú÷âàíèòå ó÷åáíèöè ëèïñâàò îò áèáëèîòåêàòà. Àêî ãè èìà, òî ïàäàìå íà òî÷íî òåçè, íà êîèòî ñòðàíèöèòå ñà îòêúñíàòè çà ïèùîâè. 7.Âèíàãè îòèâàìå íà äàòàòà çà èçïèò òî÷íî êîãàòî èìà íàé-ìíîãî õîðà íà íåãî. 8.Àêî íÿìà ìíîãî õîðà íà èçïèòà, òî ïðîôåñîðà å ÿäîñàí è êúñà áåçîãëåäíî. 9.Êîëêîòî ïîâå÷å âëà÷èø åäèí èçïèò, òîëêîâà ïî-òðóäíî ñå âçèìà. 10.Âèíàãè â íîùà ïðåäè èçïèòà ñúñåäèòå ïðàâÿò êóïîí. 11.Âèíàãè íà èçïèò ñå îêàçâà, ÷å ñìå ñè çàáðàâèëè ïèñàëêàòà, à àêî ñìå ñè ÿ âçåëè, òî òÿ òî÷íî òîãàâà ñïèðà äà ïèøå. 12.Ïèùîâà, êîéòî íè òðÿáâà âèíàãè íàé-òðóäíî ñå íàìèðà. 13.Ïðîôåñîðà ñå âúðòè îêîëî òåá òî÷íî êîãàòî òðÿáâà äà ïðåïèøåø. 14. åäèí ÷åðòåæ âèíàãè èìà ïðîïóñêè. 15.Ëÿòíàòà ñåñèÿ å âèíàãè èçâúíðåäíî ãîðåùà. 16.Âèíàãè â ïîñëåäíèÿ äåí ñå ðàçáèðà, ÷å ñè ó÷èë ïî ãðåøåí êîíñïåêò. 17.Êóðñîâàòà ðàáîòà íå ìîæå äà ñå îòïå÷àòa íà ïðèíòåð, òî÷íî êîãàòî âñè÷êî å ãîòîâî, à îñòàâàò 12 ÷àñà äî ïðåäàâàíåòî é. 18.Àêî ñòóäåíòèòå ñè èçáèðàò òåìèòå çà êóðñîâèòå ðàáîòè, òî òå èçáèðàò íàé-íåïîäõîäÿùàòà òåìà. 19.Äàòèòå çà èçïèòè ñà âèíàãè íàé-íåóäîáíèòå. 20.Êîïþòúðà ñå ÷óïè òî÷íî êîãàòî òðÿáâà íàé-ìíîãî. II.Çàêîíè çà îáùåæèòèÿòà. 1.Òî÷íî êîãàòî ñå íàòèñêàø ñ ãàäæåòî ñè èäâà ñúêâàðòèðàíòà. 2.Õëåáàðêèòå â òâîéòà ñòàÿ ñå ðàçìíîæàâàò íàé-ìíîãî. 3.Ïðåçåðâàòèâèòå ëèïñâàò òî÷íî êîãàòî âè ñå èñêà íàé-ìíîãî. 4.Àêî íå ëèïñâàò, òî èìà ñàìî åäèí. 5.Âèíàãè â òâîÿòà ñòàÿ òîïëàòà âîäà èäâà ïîñëåäíà. 6.Âèíàãè ñïèðàò òîïëàòà âîäà êîãàòî å íàé-ãîðåùî. 7.Âèíàãè, êîãàòî òè ñå õîäè äî òîàëåòíà ñå îêàçâà ÷å ñúêâàðòèðàíòà òè å â íåÿ. 8.Äîìàêèíêàòà âèíàãè å ãàäíà. 9.Âèíàãè ñúñåäèòå òè ñà ïúëíè íåíîðìàëíèöè. 10.Âèíàãè òå íàñòàíÿâàò ñ àðàáèí, à àêî íå òå íàñòàíÿò ñ àðàáèí îò òðèìàòà æèâååùè â åäíà ñòàÿ ïîíå åäèíÿò å àáñîëþòåí ìèçåðíèê è òúïàê. 11.Ñúêâàðòèðàíòà âèíàãè òè èçÿæäà ïîñëåäíàòà õðàíà. 12.Ñúêâàðòèðàíòèòå âèíàãè ñè õîäÿò âúçìîæíî íàé-ðÿäêî. 13.Çà öÿëîòî ñëåäâàíå ïîíå äâà ïúòè ñà òè ðàçáèâàëè ñòàÿòà. 14.Êîëêîòî ïîâå÷å ñè ÷èñòèø ñòàÿòà, òîëêîâà ïî-ìðúñíà ñòàâà òÿ. 15.Ñúêâàðòèðàíòà âèíàãè ñè ïóñêà íà êàñåòîôîíà ãàäíà ìóçèêà. 16.Ãàäîñòòà íà ìóçèêàòà íà ñúñåäèòå å âèíàãè ïðàâîïðîïîðöèîíàëíà íà äåöèáåëèòå é. 17.Òî÷íî êîãàòî ñè ìèñëèø, ÷å ñè óöåëèë õóáàâà ñòàÿ òîãàâà òå ãîíÿò îò íåÿ. 18.Îò òðèìà ñúêâàðòèðàíòè ïîíå åäèíÿ îò òÿõ õúðêà êàòî äúñêîðåçíèöà. 19.Êðóøêèòå â ñòàÿòà ãîðÿò òî÷íî êîãàòî ñè ñâúðøèë ïàðèòå. 20.Òîïëàòà âîäà èäâà ÷àê êîãàòî ñè ñå èçêúïàë ñúñ ñòóäåíà. 21.Îò âñè÷êè ñòúêëà ïîíå åäíî å ñ÷óïåíî. III.Çàêîíè çà êîëåãèòå. 1.Òâîèòå êîëåæêè ñà âèíàãè íàé-ãðîçíè. 2.Òâîèòå êîëåæêè ñà âèíàãè íàé-òúïè. 3.Îò âñè÷êè êîëåãè ïîíå åäèí îò òÿõ å íåïîâòîðèì òúïàê. 4.Îò âñè÷êè êîëåãè ïîíå åäèí îò òÿõ å áåçïîäîáåí çóáúð. 5.Îáèêíîâåíî êîëåãàòà îò ò.3. è ò.4 ñúâïàäà. 6.Òîëêîâà êîëêîòî ïî-òúïà å åäíà êîëåæêà, òîêëîâà ïîâå÷å ñå ïúíå äà ó÷è. 7.Íà èçïèò âèíàãè ñÿäàø äî òîçè êîëåãà (êîëåæêà), êîÿòî çíàå íàé-ìàëêî îò âñè÷êè îñòàíàëè. 8.Íà ëåêöèè íàé-òúïèÿ êîëåãà (êîëåæêà) âèíàãè çàäàâà íàé-ìíîãî âúïðîñè. 9.Òúïîòàòà íà âúïðîñèòå çàäàâàíè îò ñòóäåíòèòå å ïðàâîïðîïîðöèîíàëíà íà òÿõíîòî êîëè÷åñòâî. 10.Àêî íåùî ñå ãëàñóâà (íàïèìåð äàòà íà èçïèòà) âñå èìà íÿêîé, êîéòî äà å ïðîòèâ. 11.Âèíàãè èìà íÿêîé íåäîâîëåí îò ïðîôåñîðà. IV.Çàêîíè çà ñòóäåíñêèÿ ñòîë. 1.Õðàíàòà â ñòîëà å âèíàãè ãàäíà. 2.Àêî õðàíàòà íå å ãàäíà, òî òÿ å ìàëêî. 3. ñòîëà êþôòåòàòà (øíèöåëèòå, êåáàï÷åòàòà) ñà âèíàãè ìàëêè. 4.Äàæå è ïîñðåä ëÿòî ãàðíèòóðàòà â ñòîëà ñå ñúñòîè îò òðóøèÿ. 5.Êîëè÷åñòâîòî íà áîáåíèòå çúðíà â ÷îðáàòà å îáðàòíîïðîïîðöèîíàëíî íà ãëàäà íà ñòóäåíòà. 6.Õëÿáà â ñòîëà å âèíàãè îò ìèíàëàòà ñåäìèöà. 7. ñòîëà âèíàãè èìà òîâà, êîåòî òè ñå ÿäå íàé-ìàëêî. 8.Äàæå è ïðåç ëÿòîòî
[JOKES] ...
Wtoriqt komentar pod statiqta... http://www.segabg.com/08102002/p0010003.asp BEGIN:VCARD VERSION:2.1 N:Terziev;Ivan;Nikolaev FN:Ivan Nikolaev Terziev NICKNAME:Vozd ORG:EngView Systems Sofia Corp. - A Sirma Group Company;Research & Development TITLE:Technical Writer TEL;WORK;VOICE:(+359) 2 9810018-134/131 TEL;CELL;VOICE:+359 87 968439 ADR;WORK:;;60 Solunska Str., Apt. 8;Sofia;;1000;Bulgaria LABEL;WORK;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:60 Solunska Str., Apt. 8=0D=0ASofia 1000=0D=0ABulgaria ADR;HOME:;;;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;HOME;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:Sofia=0D=0ABulgaria X-WAB-GENDER:2 URL;WORK:http://www.engview.com; http://www.sirma.com EMAIL;PREF;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] EMAIL;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] REV:20021008T093644Z END:VCARD
[JOKES] ...
http://netinfo.bg/?tid=40&oid=381417 BEGIN:VCARD VERSION:2.1 N:Terziev;Ivan;Nikolaev FN:Ivan Nikolaev Terziev NICKNAME:Vozd ORG:EngView Systems Sofia Corp. - A Sirma Group Company;Research & Development TITLE:Technical Writer TEL;WORK;VOICE:(+359) 2 9810018-134/131 TEL;CELL;VOICE:+359 87 968439 ADR;WORK:;;60 Solunska Str., Apt. 8;Sofia;;1000;Bulgaria LABEL;WORK;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:60 Solunska Str., Apt. 8=0D=0ASofia 1000=0D=0ABulgaria ADR;HOME:;;;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;HOME;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:Sofia=0D=0ABulgaria X-WAB-GENDER:2 URL;WORK:http://www.engview.com; http://www.sirma.com EMAIL;PREF;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] EMAIL;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] REV:20021007T145850Z END:VCARD
[JOKES] gledni tochki
What a Woman Says:"This place is a mess! C'mon,You and I need to clean up.Your stuff is lying on the floor,and if we don't do laundry right nowyou'll have no clothes to wear." What a Man Hears:blah, blah, blah, blah, C'MONblah, blah, blah, YOU AND Iblah, blah, ON THE FLOORblah, blah, blah, RIGHT NOWblah, blah, blah, blah, blah, NO CLOTHES.
[JOKES] vaccine.jpg
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Re: [JOKES] Kak se pravqt error dialogs v M$
???za 4-ti pyt?? nali uj beshe 3 za shtastie, ili na discworld e 4?:-) - Original Message - From: Boyan Konstantinov To: Jokes@Sirma Sent: Tuesday, September 17, 2002 5:01 PM Subject: [JOKES] Kak se pravqt error dialogs v M$ Kak se pravqt error dialogs v M$ :)Message box na Internet Exploder pri p#len sriv:
[JOKES] No comment
Prosto ne e istina - poslednite 2 abzaca:-)) Chowek da se smee li, da plache li kakwi gluposti se pishat po mediite:-) http://www.mediapool.bg/site/bulgaria/2002/09/11/0006.shtml BEGIN:VCARD VERSION:2.1 N:Terziev;Ivan;Nikolaev FN:Ivan Nikolaev Terziev NICKNAME:Vozd ORG:EngView Systems Sofia Corp. - A Sirma Group Company;Research & Development TITLE:Technical Writer TEL;WORK;VOICE:(+359) 2 9810018-134/131 TEL;CELL;VOICE:+359 87 968439 ADR;WORK:;;60 Solunska Str., Apt. 8;Sofia;;1000;Bulgaria LABEL;WORK;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:60 Solunska Str., Apt. 8=0D=0ASofia 1000=0D=0ABulgaria ADR;HOME:;;;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;HOME;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:Sofia=0D=0ABulgaria X-WAB-GENDER:2 URL;WORK:http://www.engview.com; http://www.sirma.com EMAIL;PREF;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] EMAIL;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] REV:20020912T154057Z END:VCARD
[JOKES] Punk's Not Dead!
http://forum.abv.bg/cgi-bin/showpost.pl?Board=software&Number=1621&page=0&view=collapsed&mode=flat&sb=5 BEGIN:VCARD VERSION:2.1 N:Terziev;Ivan;Nikolaev FN:Ivan Nikolaev Terziev NICKNAME:Vozd ORG:EngView Systems Sofia Corp. - A Sirma Group Company;Research & Development TITLE:Technical Writer TEL;WORK;VOICE:(+359) 2 9810018-134/131 TEL;CELL;VOICE:+359 87 968439 ADR;WORK:;;60 Solunska Str., Apt. 8;Sofia;;1000;Bulgaria LABEL;WORK;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:60 Solunska Str., Apt. 8=0D=0ASofia 1000=0D=0ABulgaria ADR;HOME:;;;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;HOME;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:Sofia=0D=0ABulgaria X-WAB-GENDER:2 URL;WORK:http://www.engview.com; http://www.sirma.com EMAIL;PREF;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] EMAIL;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] REV:20020912T083903Z END:VCARD
[JOKES] two of a kind
Dvama piqnici sedqw w krychmata i si prikazwat. - Ponqkoga syjalqwam, che maika mi ne me e rodila s dwe glawi... - s tyga kazwa ediniqt. - Shto be?? Kakwo shteshe da prawish s wtorata? Shteshe da piesh dwa pyti poweche li? - pita wtoriqt. - Ne be!! Ako imah dwe glawi, wednaga sled rajdaneto mi shtqha da me slojat w burkan sys spirt... =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= * send mails to [EMAIL PROTECTED] * PLEASE do not post offensive jokes * message size limit is 150 KB * List info and instructions are available at http://harbinger.sirma.bg/lists/jokes.html and in the header of this email =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
[JOKES] Stari, no zlatni:-)
=?utf-8?B?0JHQuNGB0LXRgNGH0LXRgtCwLmRvYw==?= Description: MS-Word document
[JOKES] ot Novinar
ßâèëà ñå äîáðàòà ôåÿ íà åäèí ïðîãðàìèñò, êîéòî íå áèë âèæäàë æåíà îò ãîäèíè. Ðåøèëà äà ãî èçïèòà: - Êàæè, ÷îâå÷å, êàêâî èçáèðàø - åäíà íîù ñ Ïàìåëà Àíäåðñúí èëè åäèí ëàïòîï? Ïîòåêëè ìó ëèãèòå íà ÷îâåêà, ïðåäñòàâèë ñè ÿ ãîëà â ëåãëîòî, âñè÷êè åêñòðè... Òúêìî ïîíå÷èë äà îòãîâîðè áåç êîëåáàíèå è äÿâîë÷åòî ìèíàëî ïðåç óìíàòà ìó ãëàâèöà: - À êàêâà êîíôèãóðàöèÿ áåøå êîìïþòúðúò?
[JOKES] Lessons from history
> > Some lessons from history> >> > Next time you are washing your hands and complain because the water> > temperature isn't just how you like it, think about how things used to> be...> >> >> > Here are some facts about the 1500s:> >> >> > Most people got married in June because they took their yearlybath> in> > May and still smelled pretty good by June. However, they were startingto> > smell, so brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the body odor.> > ==> >> >> > Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water. The man of the> > house had the privilege of the nice clean water, then all the other sons> and> > men, then the women and finally the children last of all the babies.By> > then the water was so dirty you could actually lose someone in it--hence> the> > saying, "Don't throw the baby out with the bath water."> > ==> >> > Houses had thatched roofs--thick straw, piled high, with no wood> > underneath. It was the only place for animals to get warm, so all the> dogs,> > cats and other small animals (mice rats, and bugs) lived in the roof.When> > it> > rained it became slippery, and sometimes the animals would slip and fall> off> > the roof--hence the saying, "It's raining cats and dogs."> > ==> >> >> > There was nothing to stop things from falling into the house. This> > posed a real problem in the bedroom where bugs and other droppings could> > really mess up your nice clean bed. Hence, a bed with big posts and a> sheet> > hung over the top afforded some protection. That's how canopy beds came> into> > existence.> > ==> >> >> > The floor was dirt. Only the wealthy had something other thandirt,> > hence the saying "dirt poor." The wealthy had slate floors that wouldget> > slippery in the winter when wet, so they spread thresh on the floor to> help> > keep their footing. As the winter wore on, they kept adding more; thresh> > until when you opened the door it would all start slipping outside. A> piece> > of wood was placed in the entranceway --hence, a "thresh hold."> > ==> >> >> > People cooked in the kitchen with a big kettle that always hungover> > the fire. Every day they lit the fire and added things to the pot. They> ate> > mostly vegetables and did not get much meat. They would eat the stew for> > dinner, leaving leftovers in the pot to get cold overnight and thenstart> > over the next day. Sometimes the stew had food in it that had been there> for> > quite a while> peas> > porridge in the pot nine days old."> > ==> >> >> > Sometimes they could obtain pork, which made them feel quite> special.> > When visitors came over, they would hang up their bacon to show off. It> was> > a> > sign of wealth that a man "could bring home the bacon." They would cutoff> a> > little to share with guests and would all sit around and "chew the fat."> > ==> >> >> > Those with money had plates made of pewter. Food with a high acid> > content caused some of the lead to leak onto the food, causing lead> > poisoning> > and death. This happened most often with tomatoes, so for the next 400> years> > or so, tomatoes were considered poisonous.> > ==> >> >> > Most people did not have pewter plates, but had trenchers, a piece> of> > wood with the middle scooped out like a bowl. Often trenchers were made> from> > stale pays and bread, which was so old and hard that they could use them> for> > quite some time. Trenchers were never washed and a lot of times worm and> > mold> > got into the wood and old bread. After eating off wormy, moldytrenchers,> > one> > would get "trench mouth."> > ==> >> > Bread was divided according to status. Workers got the burntbottom> of> > the loaf, the family got the middle, and guests got the top, or "upper> > crust."> > ==> >> >> > Lead cups were used to drink ale or whiskey. The combination would> > sometimes knock them out for a couple of days. Someone walking along the> > road> > would take them for dead and prepare them for burial. They were laid out> on> > the kitchen table for a couple of days and the family would gatheraround> > and> > eat and drink and wait to see if they would wake up--hence, the customof> > holding a "wake."> > ==> >> >> >
[JOKES] ...
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Re: [JOKES] FW: Dogovorut na pravitelstvoto s Microsoft
Title: Dogovorut na pravitelstvoto s Microsoft Wikash - ebaniq hem eban, hem pak da go duha??!:))) Ili kazano po-dobre - ebaniq be eban, no za smetka na towa shte go duha:)) - Original Message - From: Nikolai To: Atanas Kiryakov ; [EMAIL PROTECTED] Sent: Monday, May 20, 2002 6:04 PM Subject: RE: [JOKES] FW: Dogovorut na pravitelstvoto s Microsoft Nase - skandal edva li ste se zaformi - ste stane bitiq bit, ebaniq da go duha :(( Koko -Original Message-From: [EMAIL PROTECTED] [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]]On Behalf Of Atanas KiryakovSent: Monday, May 20, 2002 6:01 PMTo: [EMAIL PROTECTED]Subject: RE: [JOKES] FW: Dogovorut na pravitelstvoto s Microsoft Md hubav skandal se zaformja ---Atanas Kiryakov, http://www.sirma.bg/ak.htmHead of OntoText Lab., http://www.ontotext.comSirma AI, Ltd. - Artificial Intelligence LabsPhone: (359 2) 981 23 38, http://www.sirma.bg--- neznaja nakyde sym trygnal missing a whither neznaja i zashto vyrvya and also the Goal no chesto vijdam, che sym byrzal forgot in my hurry tam gdeto trjabvalo e da pospra the joy as a goal -Original Message-From: [EMAIL PROTECTED] [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]]On Behalf Of Slavi AndreevSent: Monday, May 20, 2002 5:44 PMTo: [EMAIL PROTECTED]Subject: [JOKES] FW: Dogovorut na pravitelstvoto s Microsoft Mai ne e mnogo za tuk, ama . http://ludost.net/msmail/
Re: [JOKES] MS all around us
Mi daite i nie da poprevedem neshto ve:))) - Original Message - From: Jogy To: jokes Sent: Saturday, May 18, 2002 1:58 PM Subject: Re: [JOKES] MS all around us Prevoda im struwal 3 milona dolara!?!?!?! Samo za Word i Outlook??? Jogy - Original Message - From: borislav popov To: jokes Sent: Friday, May 17, 2002 1:19 PM Subject: [JOKES] MS all around us http://www.mediapool.bg/site/business/2002/05/17/0004.shtml ...there is a river of birds in migration - a nation of women with wings... --Libana--
[JOKES] hands
http://www.sirma.bg/jokes/hands.avi BEGIN:VCARD VERSION:2.1 N:Terziev;Ivan;Nikolaev FN:Ivan Nikolaev Terziev NICKNAME:Vozd ORG:EngView Systems Sofia Corp. - a Sirma Group company;Research & Development TITLE:Technical Writer TEL;WORK;VOICE:(+359) 2 9810018-131/134 TEL;CELL;VOICE:+359 87 968439 ADR;WORK:;;60 Solunska Str., Apt. 8;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;WORK;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:60 Solunska Str., Apt. 8=0D=0ASofia=0D=0ABulgaria ADR;HOME:;;;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;HOME;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:Sofia=0D=0ABulgaria X-WAB-GENDER:2 URL;WORK:http://www.engview.com; http://www.sirma.bg EMAIL;PREF;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] EMAIL;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] REV:20020516T072048Z END:VCARD
[JOKES] people
"There are only 10 types of people in this world: those who understand binary, and those who don't." BEGIN:VCARD VERSION:2.1 N:Terziev;Ivan;Nikolaev FN:Ivan Nikolaev Terziev NICKNAME:Vozd ORG:EngView Systems Sofia Corp. - a Sirma Group company;Research & Development TITLE:Technical Writer TEL;WORK;VOICE:(+359) 2 9810018-131/134 TEL;CELL;VOICE:+359 87 968439 ADR;WORK:;;60 Solunska Str., Apt. 8;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;WORK;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:60 Solunska Str., Apt. 8=0D=0ASofia=0D=0ABulgaria ADR;HOME:;;;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;HOME;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:Sofia=0D=0ABulgaria X-WAB-GENDER:2 URL;WORK:http://www.engview.com; http://www.sirma.bg EMAIL;PREF;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] EMAIL;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] REV:20020510T095544Z END:VCARD
[JOKES] Hallo World
http://fun.bsh-bg.com/rst.asp?ID=47&b=1 BEGIN:VCARD VERSION:2.1 N:Terziev;Ivan;Nikolaev FN:Ivan Nikolaev Terziev NICKNAME:Vozd ORG:EngView Systems Sofia Corp. - a Sirma Group company;Research & Development TITLE:Technical Writer TEL;WORK;VOICE:(+359) 2 9810018-131/134 TEL;CELL;VOICE:+359 87 968439 ADR;WORK:;;60 Solunska Str., Apt. 8;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;WORK;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:60 Solunska Str., Apt. 8=0D=0ASofia=0D=0ABulgaria ADR;HOME:;;;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;HOME;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:Sofia=0D=0ABulgaria X-WAB-GENDER:2 URL;WORK:http://www.engview.com; http://www.sirma.bg EMAIL;PREF;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] EMAIL;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] REV:20020429T143516Z END:VCARD
[JOKES] e towa weche ne znam kak da go komentiram!!!!:))
http://www.segabg.com/23042002/p0070004.asp BEGIN:VCARD VERSION:2.1 N:Terziev;Ivan;Nikolaev FN:Ivan Nikolaev Terziev NICKNAME:Vozd ORG:EngView Systems Sofia Corp. - a Sirma Group company;Research & Development TITLE:Technical Writer TEL;WORK;VOICE:(+359) 2 9810018-131/134 TEL;CELL;VOICE:+359 87 968439 ADR;WORK:;;60 Solunska Str., Apt. 8;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;WORK;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:60 Solunska Str., Apt. 8=0D=0ASofia=0D=0ABulgaria ADR;HOME:;;;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;HOME;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:Sofia=0D=0ABulgaria X-WAB-GENDER:2 URL;WORK:http://www.engview.com; http://www.sirma.bg EMAIL;PREF;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] EMAIL;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] REV:20020423T113913Z END:VCARD
[JOKES] true hackerz
http://www.bit.lv/l/?id=55 BEGIN:VCARD VERSION:2.1 N:Terziev;Ivan;Nikolaev FN:Ivan Nikolaev Terziev NICKNAME:Vozd ORG:EngView Systems Sofia Corp. - a Sirma Group company;Research & Development TITLE:Technical Writer TEL;WORK;VOICE:(+359) 2 9810018-131/134 TEL;CELL;VOICE:+359 87 968439 ADR;WORK:;;60 Solunska Str., Apt. 8;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;WORK;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:60 Solunska Str., Apt. 8=0D=0ASofia=0D=0ABulgaria ADR;HOME:;;;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;HOME;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:Sofia=0D=0ABulgaria X-WAB-GENDER:2 URL;WORK:http://www.engview.com; http://www.sirma.bg EMAIL;PREF;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] EMAIL;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] REV:20020423T075653Z END:VCARD
Re: [JOKES] Joke
mmda... ama to werno ako prewkliuchim na IF-THEN discussion mode, ima baq IFowe za spomenawane:) ta mai po-dobre da ne:) - Original Message - From: Nikolai To: Ivan Terziev ; JOKES Sent: Monday, April 22, 2002 5:33 PM Subject: RE: [JOKES] Joke Vojde, lafa e star kato sveta: - Kakvo ste stane, ako zemqta se zavyrti 30 pyti po-byrzo? - Vseki den steste da ima zaplata. -Original Message-From: [EMAIL PROTECTED] [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]]On Behalf Of Ivan TerzievSent: Monday, April 22, 2002 4:31 PMTo: JOKESSubject: Re: [JOKES] Joke Az si mislq za slednata mesechna shema: 01 01 01 01 01 01 01 01 01 01 01 01 01 01 01 01 01 01 01 0101 Note: na 01-wo chislo ot meseca da poluchawame zaplata...:)) Rezerven variant: W sluchai na zabawqne na zaplatite...:(( se izchakwa denq na plashtane=DenX i se prilaga slednata shema: DenX DenX DenX DenX DenX DenX DenX DenX DenX DenX DenX DenX DenX DenX DenX DenX... za kolkoto dni ostawat... Respect! Vozd - Original Message - From: Iliana Misheva To: JOKES Sent: Monday, April 22, 2002 10:26 AM Subject: [JOKES] Joke NEG FRI FRI FRI THU WED TUE 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 16 15 14 12 11 10 9 23 22 21 20 19 18 17 32 30 28 27 26 25 24 39 38 37 36 35 34 33 This is a special calendar for handling rush jobs. All rush jobs are wanted yesterday. With this calendar a job can be ordered on the 7th and delivered on the 3rd. Most jobs are required by Friday, so there are three Fridays in every week. There are eight new days added to each month to allow for end-of-the-month panic jobs. There is no 1st of the month - thus avoiding late delivery of the previous month's last-minute panic jobs. Monday morning hangovers are abolished together with non-productive Saturdays and Sundays. A new day - Negotiation Day - has been introduced keeping the other days free for uninterrupted panic.
Re: [JOKES] Joke
Az si mislq za slednata mesechna shema: 01 01 01 01 01 01 01 01 01 01 01 01 01 01 01 01 01 01 01 0101 Note: na 01-wo chislo ot meseca da poluchawame zaplata...:)) Rezerven variant: W sluchai na zabawqne na zaplatite...:(( se izchakwa denq na plashtane=DenX i se prilaga slednata shema: DenX DenX DenX DenX DenX DenX DenX DenX DenX DenX DenX DenX DenX DenX DenX DenX... za kolkoto dni ostawat... Respect! Vozd - Original Message - From: Iliana Misheva To: JOKES Sent: Monday, April 22, 2002 10:26 AM Subject: [JOKES] Joke NEG FRI FRI FRI THU WED TUE 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 16 15 14 12 11 10 9 23 22 21 20 19 18 17 32 30 28 27 26 25 24 39 38 37 36 35 34 33 This is a special calendar for handling rush jobs. All rush jobs are wanted yesterday. With this calendar a job can be ordered on the 7th and delivered on the 3rd. Most jobs are required by Friday, so there are three Fridays in every week. There are eight new days added to each month to allow for end-of-the-month panic jobs. There is no 1st of the month - thus avoiding late delivery of the previous month's last-minute panic jobs. Monday morning hangovers are abolished together with non-productive Saturdays and Sundays. A new day - Negotiation Day - has been introduced keeping the other days free for uninterrupted panic.
[JOKES] Fw: last official photo of queen mom
- Original Message - From: "georgi bayraktarsky" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> To: "nikolaj krstev" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>; "Ivan Terziev" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> Sent: Friday, April 19, 2002 8:12 PM Subject: Fw: last official photo of queen mom > > <>
[JOKES] Help Desk horrors...
> >These are stories from help desks around the country> >> >> >Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open> >Desktop."> >> >Customer: "Ok."> >> >Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"> >> >Customer: "No."> >> >Tech Support: "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-> >up menu?"> >> >Customer: "No."> >> >Tech Support: "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have> >done up until this point?"> >> >Customer: "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I> >wrote 'click'." (At this point I had to put the caller> >on hold to tell the rest of the tech support staff what> >had happened. I couldn't, however, stop from giggling> >when I got back to the call.)> >> >Tech Support: "Ok, did you type 'click' with the keyboard?"> >> >Customer: "I have done something dumb, right?"> >> >> >> >One woman called Dell's toll-free line to ask how to> >install the batteries in her laptop. When told that> >the directions were on the first page of the manual> >the woman replied angrily, "I just paid $2,000 for this> >damn thing, and I'm not going to read the book."> >> >> >> >Customer: "I received the software update you sent,> >but I am still getting the same error message."> >> >Tech Support: "Did you install the update?"> >> >Customer: "No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get> >it to work?"> >> >> >> >Customer: "I'm having trouble installing Microsoft Word."> >> >Tech Support: "Tell me what you've done."> >> >Customer: "I typed 'A:SETUP'."> >> >Tech Support: "Ma'am, remove the disk and tell me what> >it says."> >> >Customer: "It says '[PC manufacturer] Restore and Recovery> >disk'."> >> >Tech Support: "Insert the MS Word setup disk."> >> >Customer: "What?"> >> >Tech Support: "Did you buy MS word?"> >> >Customer "No..."> >> >> >> >Tech Support: "Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the> >screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?"> >> >Customer: "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"> >> >> >> >Customer: "Uhh...I need help unpacking my new PC."> >> >Tech Support: "What exactly is the problem?"> >> >Customer: "I can't open the box."> >> >Tech Support: "Well, I'd remove the tape holding the> >box closed and go from there."> >> >Customer: "U...ok, thanks"> >> >> >> >Customer: "I'm having a problem installing your software.> >I've got a fairly old computer, and when I type 'INSTALL',> >all it says is 'Bad command or file name'."> >> >Tech Support: "Ok, check the directory of the A: drive-> >go to A:> \ and type 'dir'." Customer reads off a> >list of file names, including 'INSTALL.EXE'.> >> >Tech Support: "All right, the correct file is there.> >Type 'INSTALL' again."> >> >Customer: "Ok." (pause) "Still says 'Bad command or> >file name'."> >> >Tech Support: "Hmmm. The file's there in the correct> >place-it can't help but do something. Are you sure you're> >typing I-N-S-T-A-L-L and hitting the Enter key?"> >> >Customer: "Yes, let me try it again." (pause) "Nope,> >still 'Bad command or file name'."> >> >Tech Support: (now really confused) "Are you sure you're> >typing I-N-S-T-A-L-L and hitting the key that says 'Enter'?"> >> >Customer: "Well, yeah. Although my 'N' key is stuck,> >so I'm using the 'M' key...does that matter?> >> >> >> >At our company we have asset numbers on the front of> >everything. They give the location, name, and everything> >else just by scanning the computer's asset barcode or> >using the number beneath the bars.> >> >Customer: "Hello. I can't get on the network."> >> >Tech Support: "Ok. Just read me your asset number so> >we can open an outage."> >> >Customer: "What is that?"> >> >Tech Support: "That little barcode on the front of your> >computer."> >> >Customer: "Ok. Big bar, little bar, big bar, big bar> >. . ."> >> >> >> >And the best for last> >> >Customer: "I got this problem. You people sent me this> >install disk, and now my A: drive won't work."> >> >Tech Support: "Your A drive won't work?"> >> >Customer: "That's what I said. You sent me a bad disk,> >it got stuck in my drive, now it won't work at all."> >> >Tech Support: "Did it not install properly? What kind> >of error messages did you get?"> >> >Customer: "I didn't get any error message. The disk> >got stuck in the drive and wouldn't come out. So I got> >these pliers and tried to get it out. That didn't work> >either."> >> >Tech Support: "You did what sir?"> >> >Customer: "I got these pliers, and tried to get the> >disk out, but it wouldn't budge. I just ended up cracking> >the plastic stuff a bit."> >> >Tech Support: "I don't understand sir, did you push> >the eject button?"> >>
[JOKES] ...
Êàê äà íàëîæèì âîëÿòà ñè íàä æåíèòå Êàê äà íàëîæèì âîëÿòà ñè íàä æåíèòå (èëè êàê äà ñòàíà ìèëèîíåð) Ìíîãî ïúòè ñúì ñå íàëàãàë íàä æåíèòå, íî òúé êàòî ñöåíàðèÿò âèíàãè å áèë ñúùèÿò, ùå âè äàì ñàìî åäèí ïðèìåð, à âèå ìîæå äà ïîâòàðÿòå ìåòîäà äî 30 ïúòè áåçïëàòíî, ïîíåæå å shareware, îòòàì íàñåòíå ìè äúëæèòå ïî $5 âñåêè ïúò (òàêà ùå ñòàíà ìèëèîíåð). È òàêà, íåêà çàïî÷íåì: Òðÿáâà äà å ÷åðâåíà, êàçàõ àç. Òîâà áåøå â çîðàòà íà äåìîêðàöèÿòà, â îíèÿ õóáàâè âðåìåíà, êîãàòî áóäàëèòå áÿõà ìíîãî ïîâå÷å îò íàñ, ìîøåíèöèòå, è êîãàòî ïàðèòå ïàäàõà íàïðàâî îò íåáåòî. Áÿõìå ðåøèëè äà êóïèì íîâà ñïîðòíà êîëà. Òÿ òðÿáâàøå äà å ÿïîíñêà, çà äà íå ñå áåëîñâàìå ñ ðåìîíòèòå, äà å ìàëêà, ÷å äà õàð÷è ìàëêî áåíçèí, çàùîòî òèÿ âðåìåíà íÿìàøå äà áúäàò âå÷íè, è äà èìà ëúâñêî ñúðöå, êîãàòî ñå íàëîæè. Ëåñíî ÿ îòêðèõìå, èìàøå ñàìî äâà èçáîðà è åäíàòà áåøå ïî-íîâ ìîäåë, òàêà ÷å íÿìàøå êàêâî äà óìóâàìå, îñâåí çà öâåòà. Åäíà ñïîðòíà êîëà òðÿáâà äà å ÷åðâåíà äîáàâèõ, çà äà ïðèëè÷à ìàëêî íà Ôåðàðè, çàùîòî çåëåíîòî è ñèíüîòî óñïîêîÿâàò, à òàêàâà õóáàâèöà ñå âçåìà, çà äà ñè âäèãàø àäðåíàëèíà. Çàùîòî ÷åðíîòî å òðàóðíî è íàêðàÿ, áÿëîòî ìíîãî ëåñíî ñå öàïà. Íå ñïîìåíàõ çà æúëòîòî è òàêñèòàòà, ïîíåæå òîãàâà âñè÷êè òàêñèòà ñè õîäåõà êàêòî ñè èñêàò. Ùå å áÿëà! íàòúðòè æåíà ìè. Êàê òàêà ÙÅ Å? ïîïèòàõ. Íÿìà ëè ïîíå äà ãî îáñúäèì? Çàùî òðÿáâà äà ãóáèì äíè è íîùè â ïðèêàçêè, êîãàòî ìíîãî äîáðå çíàåø, ÷å èñêàì äà å áÿëà? ×å îòêúäå äà çíàì? Íàëè òîêó-ùî òè êàçàõ! Å, ñïîðèõìå îùå íÿêîé-äðóã äåí, íàêðàÿ îòèäîõìå è çàíåñîõìå êàïàðîòî çà áÿëà. Êîãàòî ñëåä äâå ñåäìèöè íè ïðåäëîæèõà èçáîðà äà íè ÿ äîêàðà ïðîôåñèîíàëåí øîôüîð èëè íèå äà ñè ÿ âçåìåì îò Ñîôèÿ, èçáðàõìå åäèíîäóøíî âòîðîòî. Äîêàòî çÿïàøå ïàðëàìåíòà ïðåç ïðîçîðåöà íà õîòåëà â äåíÿ ïðåäè âåëèêîòî ñúáèòèå, Òß âíåçàïíî èçáóõíà: Çàùî íå ïîðú÷àõìå ÷åðâåíà? Àêî ìèñëèòå, ÷å òðÿáâàøå äà ñè ñúáèðàì ìèñëèòå, æåñòîêî áúðêàòå. Íèêàêâà ìèñúë íÿìàõ, àêî íÿêîé íå ñåäíå äà áðîè çà òàêîâà íåùî îïóëâàíå, äîñòîéíî çà ñúñòåçàíèå ìåæäó àëèãàòîð è êðàñòàâà æàáà. Íå ñàìî ÷å íÿìàõ äóìè, àìè è âúçäóõúò íå ìè ñòèãàøå. Èçòúð÷àõ äî áàíÿòà, ïîëÿõ ñè ãëàâàòà ñúñ ñòóäåíà âîäà, íàëÿõ ñè òðè-÷åòèðè ÷àøè è ãè îáúðíàõ íà áúðçà ðúêà, çà äà ñè ñïàñÿ æèâîòà. Íàëè ÒÈ èñêàøå áÿëà? ñå ìú÷èõ äà ñòúïÿ íà êðàêàòà ñè àç. Âñúùíîñò èñêàõ ÷åðâåíà. Íî òîãàâà çàùî êàçà, ÷å èñêàø áÿëà? Çàùîòî ÒÈ èñêàøå äà ñå íàëîæèø ñ òâîÿ èçáîð. Êðàêàòà ìè îìåêíàõà, òà ñå íàëîæè äà ñåäíà íàïðàâî íà ïîäà ïî ñðåäàòà íà ñòàÿòà. Å, êàêâî ùå ïðàâèì ñåãà? ïîïèòàõ ñ âúçìîæíî íàé-áëàãèÿ òîí, äîêàòî ñè ïîäêðåïÿõ ãëàâàòà ñ äâå ðúöå è ñå ïîëþøâàõ êàòî ó÷åíîëþáèâî òàëèáàí÷å, ðåøèëî äà èçó÷è Êîðàíà îò êîðà äî êîðà. Òÿ ìå èçãëåäà ïðîäúëæèòåëíî ñ îíÿ ïîãëåä, ñ êîéòî ïîòîïÿâà ñàìîëåòîíîñà÷, àêî êàïèòàíúò å ñãàôèë íåùî, è îáÿñíè: Âå÷å íå ìå èíòåðåñóâà, âàæíîòî å, ÷å îòíîâî íå ñòàíà òàêà, êàêòî àç èñêàõ. Íà äðóãèÿ äåí âúâ ôèðìàòà íè ðàçÿñíèõà, ÷å å ñòàíàëà óæàñíà ãðåøêà. Ìåñòíèÿò äèëúð íå å èìàë ïðàâîòî äà íè âçåìå êàïàðîòî çà áÿëà, ïîíåæå MX3 ñå ïðîèçâåæäà âúâ âñè÷êè äðóãè öâåòîâå, íî íå è â áÿëî. Àêî æåëàåì, ìîæåì äà èçáèðàìå ìåæäó òðèòå íàëè÷íè àâòîìîáèëà ÷åðåí, çåëåí ìåòàëèê è ÷åðâåí, èíà÷å ùå íè âúðíàò ïàðèòå. Äîêàòî ïúòóâàõìå ùàñòëèâè ñ ÷åðâåíàòà Ìàçäà êúì ìîðåòî, òÿ ìúë÷à ïî÷òè äî Òúðíîâî, êîãàòî êàçà ñúâñåì ìåêî è òèõî: Âèäÿ ëè, ïàê ñòàíà íà òâîåòî! Zzloba PS: ×åñòèò ïðàçíèê íà âñè÷êè ãîëåìè è ìàëêè ìîìè÷åòà! BEGIN:VCARD VERSION:2.1 N:Terziev;Ivan;Nikolaev FN:Ivan Nikolaev Terziev NICKNAME:Vozd ORG:EngView Systems Sofia Corp. - a Sirma Group company;Research & Development TITLE:Technical Writer TEL;WORK;VOICE:(+359) 2 9810018-131/134 TEL;CELL;VOICE:+359 87 968439 ADR;WORK:;;60 Solunska Str., Apt. 8;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;WORK;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:60 Solunska Str., Apt. 8=0D=0ASofia=0D=0ABulgaria ADR;HOME:;;;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;HOME;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:Sofia=0D=0ABulgaria X-WAB-GENDER:2 URL;WORK:http://www.engview.com; http://www.sirma.bg EMAIL;PREF;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] EMAIL;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] REV:20020416T120509Z END:VCARD
[JOKES] Prizovki...
http://www.chestyle.ru/archive/zb001.html BEGIN:VCARD VERSION:2.1 N:Terziev;Ivan;Nikolaev FN:Ivan Nikolaev Terziev NICKNAME:Vozd ORG:EngView Systems Sofia Corp. - a Sirma Group company;Research & Development TITLE:Technical Writer TEL;WORK;VOICE:(+359) 2 9810018-131/134 TEL;CELL;VOICE:+359 87 968439 ADR;WORK:;;60 Solunska Str., Apt. 8;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;WORK;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:60 Solunska Str., Apt. 8=0D=0ASofia=0D=0ABulgaria ADR;HOME:;;;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;HOME;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:Sofia=0D=0ABulgaria X-WAB-GENDER:2 URL;WORK:http://www.engview.com; http://www.sirma.bg EMAIL;PREF;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] EMAIL;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] REV:20020415T071209Z END:VCARD
[JOKES] RoboHELP
...pitam... i otgowor ne chakam... istina li e towa???: BEGIN:VCARD VERSION:2.1 N:Terziev;Ivan;Nikolaev FN:Ivan Nikolaev Terziev NICKNAME:Vozd ORG:EngView Systems Sofia Corp. - a Sirma Group company;Research & Development TITLE:Technical Writer TEL;WORK;VOICE:(+359) 2 9810018-131/134 TEL;CELL;VOICE:087 968439 ADR;WORK:;;60 Solunska Str., Apt. 8;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;WORK;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:60 Solunska Str., Apt. 8=0D=0ASofia=0D=0ABulgaria ADR;HOME:;;;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;HOME;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:Sofia=0D=0ABulgaria X-WAB-GENDER:2 URL;WORK:http://www.engview.com; http://www.sirma.bg EMAIL;PREF;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] EMAIL;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] REV:20020404T112205Z END:VCARD RoboHELP.gif Description: GIF image
Re: [JOKES] alkoholyt
Golqm wypros stana:)) Ami, bi triabwalo sigurno da e cached w proxy-to, ama dali wsichki polzwat proxy-to? - Original Message - From: "Jogy" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> To: "Ivan Terziev" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>; "Milena" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>; "jokes" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> Sent: Thursday, April 04, 2002 12:09 PM Subject: Re: [JOKES] alkoholyt > > > >Dali samo mi se struva, che 60 choveka kato otworqt ednovremenno dolnta stranichka, jicata shte se zadrasti, ili towa e prosto > edno >glupavo hrumvane?:)) > > Ne bi li triabwalo da e kechirano w Proxy-to? Pri men se zaredi dosta byrzo > > Jogy > > > > =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= > * send mails to [EMAIL PROTECTED] > * PLEASE do not post offensive jokes > * message size limit is 150 KB > * List info and instructions are available at http://harbinger.sirma.bg/lists/jokes.html > and in the header of this email > =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= > > =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= * send mails to [EMAIL PROTECTED] * PLEASE do not post offensive jokes * message size limit is 150 KB * List info and instructions are available at http://harbinger.sirma.bg/lists/jokes.html and in the header of this email =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Re: [JOKES] alkoholyt
Dali samo mi se struva, che 60 choveka kato otworqt ednovremenno dolnta stranichka, jicata shte se zadrasti, ili towa e prosto edno glupavo hrumvane?:)) - Original Message - From: Milena To: jokes Sent: Thursday, April 04, 2002 11:26 AM Subject: [JOKES] alkoholyt http://people.cornell.edu/pages/slp29/humor_warnings.swf mim
[JOKES] Service Too Busy??!!
BEGIN:VCARD VERSION:2.1 N:Terziev;Ivan;Nikolaev FN:Ivan Nikolaev Terziev NICKNAME:Vozd ORG:EngView Systems Sofia Corp. - a Sirma Group company;Research & Development TITLE:Technical Writer TEL;WORK;VOICE:(+359) 2 9810018-131/134 TEL;CELL;VOICE:087 968439 ADR;WORK:;;60 Solunska Str., Apt. 8;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;WORK;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:60 Solunska Str., Apt. 8=0D=0ASofia=0D=0ABulgaria ADR;HOME:;;;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;HOME;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:Sofia=0D=0ABulgaria X-WAB-GENDER:2 URL;WORK:http://www.engview.com; http://www.sirma.bg EMAIL;PREF;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] EMAIL;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] REV:20020327T135530Z END:VCARD <>
[JOKES] Priqten den i leka rabota na sve:)))
BEGIN:VCARD VERSION:2.1 N:Terziev;Ivan;Nikolaev FN:Ivan Nikolaev Terziev NICKNAME:Vozd ORG:EngView Systems Sofia Corp. - a Sirma Group company;Research & Development TITLE:Technical Writer TEL;WORK;VOICE:(+359) 2 9810018-131/134 TEL;CELL;VOICE:087 968439 ADR;WORK:;;60 Solunska Str., Apt. 8;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;WORK;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:60 Solunska Str., Apt. 8=0D=0ASofia=0D=0ABulgaria ADR;HOME:;;;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;HOME;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:Sofia=0D=0ABulgaria X-WAB-GENDER:2 URL;WORK:http://www.engview.com; http://www.sirma.bg EMAIL;PREF;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] EMAIL;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] REV:20020327T084319Z END:VCARD <>
[JOKES] Siv humor
Cost Cutting To whom it may concern, Due to the current financial crisis facing the world at the moment, the light at the end of the tunnel will be switched off to save on electricity costs, until further notice... Sincerely,God BEGIN:VCARD VERSION:2.1 N:Terziev;Ivan;Nikolaev FN:Ivan Nikolaev Terziev NICKNAME:Vozd ORG:EngView Systems Sofia Corp. - a Sirma Group company;Research & Development TITLE:Technical Writer TEL;WORK;VOICE:(+359) 2 9810018-131/134 TEL;CELL;VOICE:087 968439 ADR;WORK:;;60 Solunska Str., Apt. 8;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;WORK;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:60 Solunska Str., Apt. 8=0D=0ASofia=0D=0ABulgaria ADR;HOME:;;;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;HOME;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:Sofia=0D=0ABulgaria X-WAB-GENDER:2 URL;WORK:http://www.engview.com; http://www.sirma.bg EMAIL;PREF;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] EMAIL;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] REV:20020322T115920Z END:VCARD
[JOKES] full version:)
http://galabov.virtualave.net/kurs.htm BEGIN:VCARD VERSION:2.1 N:Terziev;Ivan;Nikolaev FN:Ivan Nikolaev Terziev NICKNAME:Vozd ORG:EngView Systems Sofia Corp. - a Sirma Group company;Research & Development TITLE:Technical Writer TEL;WORK;VOICE:(+359) 2 9810018-131/134 TEL;CELL;VOICE:087 968439 ADR;WORK:;;60 Solunska Str., Apt. 8;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;WORK;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:60 Solunska Str., Apt. 8=0D=0ASofia=0D=0ABulgaria ADR;HOME:;;;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;HOME;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:Sofia=0D=0ABulgaria X-WAB-GENDER:2 URL;WORK:http://www.engview.com; http://www.sirma.bg EMAIL;PREF;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] EMAIL;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] REV:20020314T142323Z END:VCARD
[JOKES] parashutisti
- E, kak se chuwstwashe po vreme na pyrviq si parashuten skok? - Kato ptica - letq i driskam, letq i driskam... BEGIN:VCARD VERSION:2.1 N:Terziev;Ivan;Nikolaev FN:Ivan Nikolaev Terziev NICKNAME:Vozd ORG:EngView Systems Sofia Corp. - a Sirma Group company;Research & Development TITLE:Technical Writer TEL;WORK;VOICE:(+359) 2 9810018-131/134 TEL;CELL;VOICE:087 968439 ADR;WORK:;;60 Solunska Str., Apt. 8;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;WORK;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:60 Solunska Str., Apt. 8=0D=0ASofia=0D=0ABulgaria ADR;HOME:;;;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;HOME;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:Sofia=0D=0ABulgaria X-WAB-GENDER:2 URL;WORK:http://www.engview.com; http://www.sirma.bg EMAIL;PREF;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] EMAIL;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] REV:20020314T135458Z END:VCARD
[JOKES] girls evil
s nai-dobri chuvstwa: http://evilsurf.hit.bg/GirlsEvil.jpg BEGIN:VCARD VERSION:2.1 N:Terziev;Ivan;Nikolaev FN:Ivan Nikolaev Terziev NICKNAME:Vozd ORG:EngView Systems Sofia Corp. - a Sirma Group company;Research & Development TITLE:Technical Writer TEL;WORK;VOICE:(+359) 2 9810018-131/134 TEL;CELL;VOICE:087 968439 ADR;WORK:;;60 Solunska Str., Apt. 8;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;WORK;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:60 Solunska Str., Apt. 8=0D=0ASofia=0D=0ABulgaria ADR;HOME:;;;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;HOME;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:Sofia=0D=0ABulgaria X-WAB-GENDER:2 URL;WORK:http://www.engview.com; http://www.sirma.bg EMAIL;PREF;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] EMAIL;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] REV:20020314T103821Z END:VCARD
[JOKES] Have an ice day at work:)
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,the courage to change the things I cannot accept, and thewisdom to hide the bodies of those people I had to killtoday because they pissed me off.And also, help me to be careful of the toesI step on today as they may be connectedto the butt that I may have to kiss tomorrow.Help me to always give 100% at work...12% on Monday23% on Tuesday40% on Wednesday20% on Thursday5% on FridaysAnd help me to remember...When I'm having a really bad day,and it seems that people are trying to piss me off,that it takes 42 muscles to frown andonly 4 muscles to extend my middle fingerand tell them to bite me! BEGIN:VCARD VERSION:2.1 N:Terziev;Ivan;Nikolaev FN:Ivan Nikolaev Terziev NICKNAME:Vozd ORG:EngView Systems Sofia Corp. - a Sirma Group company;Research & Development TITLE:Technical Writer TEL;WORK;VOICE:(+359) 2 9810018-131/134 TEL;CELL;VOICE:087 968439 ADR;WORK:;;60 Solunska Str., Apt. 8;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;WORK;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:60 Solunska Str., Apt. 8=0D=0ASofia=0D=0ABulgaria ADR;HOME:;;;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;HOME;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:Sofia=0D=0ABulgaria X-WAB-GENDER:2 URL;WORK:http://www.engview.com; http://www.sirma.bg EMAIL;PREF;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] EMAIL;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] REV:20020313T081354Z END:VCARD
[JOKES] logika
"Na konkurs po jenska logika 1-vo mqsto spechelil generator na sluchaini chisla..." BEGIN:VCARD VERSION:2.1 N:Terziev;Ivan;Nikolaev FN:Ivan Nikolaev Terziev NICKNAME:Vozd ORG:EngView Systems Sofia Corp. - a Sirma Group company;Research & Development TITLE:Technical Writer TEL;WORK;VOICE:(+359) 2 9810018-131/134 TEL;CELL;VOICE:087 968439 ADR;WORK:;;60 Solunska Str., Apt. 8;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;WORK;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:60 Solunska Str., Apt. 8=0D=0ASofia=0D=0ABulgaria ADR;HOME:;;;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;HOME;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:Sofia=0D=0ABulgaria X-WAB-GENDER:2 URL;WORK:http://www.engview.com; http://www.sirma.bg EMAIL;PREF;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] EMAIL;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] REV:20020312T103054Z END:VCARD
[JOKES] Under construction
http://www.freewebz.com/dhoni/muka3.html BEGIN:VCARD VERSION:2.1 N:Terziev;Ivan;Nikolaev FN:Ivan Nikolaev Terziev NICKNAME:Vozd ORG:EngView Systems Sofia Corp. - a Sirma Group company;Research & Development TITLE:Technical Writer TEL;WORK;VOICE:(+359) 2 9810018-131/134 TEL;CELL;VOICE:087 968439 ADR;WORK:;;60 Solunska Str., Apt. 8;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;WORK;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:60 Solunska Str., Apt. 8=0D=0ASofia=0D=0ABulgaria ADR;HOME:;;;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;HOME;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:Sofia=0D=0ABulgaria X-WAB-GENDER:2 URL;WORK:http://www.engview.com; http://www.sirma.bg EMAIL;PREF;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] EMAIL;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] REV:20020311T141541Z END:VCARD
[JOKES] starichko ama dobro:)
> > TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM:> > You have two cows.> > You sell one and buy a bull.> > Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.> > You sell them and retire on the income.> >> > ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM:> > You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company,> >> > using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then> > execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you> > get> > all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.> > The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a> > Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells> >> > the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual> > report> > says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. Sell one cow> >> > to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows.> > No> > balance sheet provided with the release. The public buys your bull.> >> > AN AMERICAN CORPORATION> > You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk> > of> > four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.> >> > A FRENCH CORPORATION> > You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.> >> > A JAPANESE CORPORATION> > You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an> > ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create clever cow> >> > cartoon images called Cowkimon and market them World-Wide.> >> > A GERMAN CORPORATION> > You have two cows. You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat> > once> > a month, and milk themselves.> >> > A BRITISH CORPORATION> > You have two cows. Both are mad.> >> > AN ITALIAN CORPORATION> > You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.> >> >> > A RUSSIAN CORPORATION> > You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count> > them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you> > have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.> >> > A SWISS CORPORATION> > You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others for> > storing them.> >> > A HINDU CORPORATION> > You have two cows. You worship them.> >> > A CHINESE CORPORATION> > You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full> > employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported> > the numbers.> >> > A WELSH CORPORATION> > You have two cows. That one on the left is kinda cute.> > BEGIN:VCARD VERSION:2.1 N:Terziev;Ivan;Nikolaev FN:Ivan Nikolaev Terziev NICKNAME:Vozd ORG:EngView Systems Sofia Corp. - a Sirma Group company;Research & Development TITLE:Technical Writer TEL;WORK;VOICE:(+359) 2 9810018-131/134 TEL;CELL;VOICE:087 968439 ADR;WORK:;;60 Solunska Str., Apt. 8;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;WORK;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:60 Solunska Str., Apt. 8=0D=0ASofia=0D=0ABulgaria ADR;HOME:;;;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;HOME;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:Sofia=0D=0ABulgaria X-WAB-GENDER:2 URL;WORK:http://www.engview.com; http://www.sirma.bg EMAIL;PREF;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] EMAIL;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] REV:20020308T132817Z END:VCARD
[JOKES] Pippi of the Beast
Dokyde moje da stigne chowek po otnoshenie na vola i teleto: http://members.aol.com/rtvdave/name.html BEGIN:VCARD VERSION:2.1 N:Terziev;Ivan;Nikolaev FN:Ivan Nikolaev Terziev NICKNAME:Vozd ORG:EngView Systems Sofia Corp. - a Sirma Group company;Research & Development TITLE:Technical Writer TEL;WORK;VOICE:(+359) 2 9810018-131/134 TEL;CELL;VOICE:087 968439 ADR;WORK:;;60 Solunska Str., Apt. 8;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;WORK;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:60 Solunska Str., Apt. 8=0D=0ASofia=0D=0ABulgaria ADR;HOME:;;;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;HOME;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:Sofia=0D=0ABulgaria X-WAB-GENDER:2 URL;WORK:http://www.engview.com; http://www.sirma.bg EMAIL;PREF;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] EMAIL;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] REV:20020301T120042Z END:VCARD
[JOKES] Fw: Otgowor na moq OBJECTION za newsweek statiqta....
Title: RE: OBJECTION Moje bi i drugi sa poluchili syshtoto... - Original Message - From: Begley, Sharon To: 'Ivan Terziev' Sent: Tuesday, February 26, 2002 5:03 PM Subject: RE: OBJECTION Please accept my apologies. I am very sorry I offended people, when all I intended was to say that the world treats some nationalities (Canadians) better than others (Bulgarians), and that that is not fair. Perhaps you would like to read what another Bulgarian sent me: Dear Sharon Bigley, dear editors of Newsweek, dear friends, dear friends of friends, I've never been a great fan of political correctness (Fahrenheit 451, probably), but even if I try to practice this way of thinking, nothing in this article ( http://www.msnbc.com/news/709438.asp?cp1=1 ) offenses me, although I am Bulgarian. I read the phrase in question many times, and I don't think it means homely+bucktoothed+balding=Bulgarian. I don't see why any one would interpret it that way. and let me also paste in another common message I have been getting: hey you, fuckingly stupid beley, do you know at all where bulgaria is? I doubt so, so you'd better keep your mouth shut next time you talk about us I wonder who you fuck with to keep you up at work with this lousy magazine. Sharon Begley Science editor Newsweek 251 W. 57th St. NY NY 10019 212-445-4379 -- From: Ivan Terziev[SMTP:[EMAIL PROTECTED]] Sent: Tuesday, February 26, 2002 4:01 AM To: [EMAIL PROTECTED] Subject: OBJECTION <> http://www.msnbc.com/news/709438.asp?cp1=1 My objection is against the remark made in the Feb. 25 issue 2002 of NEWSWEEK Magazine by Sharon Begley in her article "Our Sport Has Gangrene" ( http://www.msnbc.com/news/709438.asp?cp1=1), where she states: "Even fans sympathetic to Jamie and David wondered aloud whether they would have gotten the gold if they had been homely, bucktoothed, balding and Bulgarian, rather than cute, charismatic Canadians. " Tasteless words like these are an insult to Bulgarians as well as to the numerous open-minded readers of NEWSWEEK around the world. We demand an apology.
[JOKES] rechnik
http://www.bulgaria.com/welkya/humour/rechnik.html P.S. Kato si zatvorim ochite pred neznanieto na avtora otnosno upotrebata na dvoino "n" pri narechiqta i nqkoi "svoistveNNi" (!!?!??) prilagatelni, ima i dobri popadeniq:-) P.P.S. Kato si zatvorim ochite i pred nekoi drugi gramaticheski hiatusi/lipsi, nabliudavani w izkaza na avtora, ima i dobri popadeniq:-) P.P.P.S. Towa za tyshtata w section "matematika" mi haresa "osobeNNo" mnogo:) BEGIN:VCARD VERSION:2.1 N:Terziev;Ivan;Nikolaev FN:Ivan Nikolaev Terziev NICKNAME:Vozd ORG:EngView Systems Sofia Corp. - a Sirma Group company;Research & Development TITLE:Technical Writer TEL;WORK;VOICE:(+359) 2 9810018-131/134 TEL;CELL;VOICE:087 968439 ADR;WORK:;;60 Solunska Str., Apt. 8;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;WORK;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:60 Solunska Str., Apt. 8=0D=0ASofia=0D=0ABulgaria ADR;HOME:;;;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;HOME;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:Sofia=0D=0ABulgaria X-WAB-GENDER:2 URL;WORK:http://www.engview.com; http://www.sirma.bg EMAIL;PREF;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] EMAIL;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] REV:20020215T112712Z END:VCARD
[JOKES] troubleshooting
BEGIN:VCARD VERSION:2.1 N:Terziev;Ivan;Nikolaev FN:Ivan Nikolaev Terziev NICKNAME:Vozd ORG:EngView Systems Sofia Corp. - a Sirma Group company;Research & Development TITLE:Technical Writer TEL;WORK;VOICE:(+359) 2 9810018-131/134 TEL;CELL;VOICE:087 968439 ADR;WORK:;;60 Solunska Str., Apt. 8;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;WORK;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:60 Solunska Str., Apt. 8=0D=0ASofia=0D=0ABulgaria ADR;HOME:;;;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;HOME;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:Sofia=0D=0ABulgaria X-WAB-GENDER:2 URL;WORK:http://www.engview.com; http://www.sirma.bg EMAIL;PREF;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] EMAIL;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] REV:20020214T104847Z END:VCARD Beer_Troubleshooting_Chart.gif Description: GIF image
[JOKES] Employee Types
\\Sirma_Main\Common\Vozd\Zodiac Employee Type.doc BEGIN:VCARD VERSION:2.1 N:Terziev;Ivan;Nikolaev FN:Ivan Nikolaev Terziev NICKNAME:Vozd ORG:EngView Systems Sofia Corp. - a Sirma Group company;Research & Development TITLE:Technical Writer TEL;WORK;VOICE:(+359) 2 9810018-131/134 TEL;CELL;VOICE:087 968439 ADR;WORK:;;60 Solunska Str., Apt. 8;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;WORK;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:60 Solunska Str., Apt. 8=0D=0ASofia=0D=0ABulgaria ADR;HOME:;;;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;HOME;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:Sofia=0D=0ABulgaria X-WAB-GENDER:2 URL;WORK:http://www.engview.com; http://www.sirma.bg EMAIL;PREF;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] EMAIL;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] REV:20020213T144454Z END:VCARD
[JOKES] civil war
popitali radio erevan: "Mozhe li v bg da ima grzhdanska voyna?"otgovor: "Ne, tam vsichki sa selyani..." BEGIN:VCARD VERSION:2.1 N:Terziev;Ivan;Nikolaev FN:Ivan Nikolaev Terziev NICKNAME:Vozd ORG:EngView Systems Sofia Corp. - a Sirma Group company;Research & Development TITLE:Technical Writer TEL;WORK;VOICE:(+359) 2 9810018-131/134 TEL;CELL;VOICE:087 968439 ADR;WORK:;;60 Solunska Str., Apt. 8;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;WORK;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:60 Solunska Str., Apt. 8=0D=0ASofia=0D=0ABulgaria ADR;HOME:;;;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;HOME;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:Sofia=0D=0ABulgaria X-WAB-GENDER:2 URL;WORK:http://www.engview.com; http://www.sirma.bg EMAIL;PREF;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] EMAIL;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] REV:20020213T095220Z END:VCARD
[JOKES] ERRORWARE
BEGIN:VCARD VERSION:2.1 N:Terziev;Ivan;Nikolaev FN:Ivan Nikolaev Terziev NICKNAME:Vozd ORG:EngView Systems Sofia Corp. - a Sirma Group company;Research & Development TITLE:Technical Writer TEL;WORK;VOICE:(+359) 2 9810018-131/134 TEL;CELL;VOICE:087 968439 ADR;WORK:;;60 Solunska Str., Apt. 8;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;WORK;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:60 Solunska Str., Apt. 8=0D=0ASofia=0D=0ABulgaria ADR;HOME:;;;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;HOME;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:Sofia=0D=0ABulgaria X-WAB-GENDER:2 URL;WORK:http://www.engview.com; http://www.sirma.bg EMAIL;PREF;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] EMAIL;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] REV:20020213T093416Z END:VCARD <>
[JOKES] America....
http://www.segabg.com/11022002/p0080003.asp BEGIN:VCARD VERSION:2.1 N:Terziev;Ivan;Nikolaev FN:Ivan Nikolaev Terziev NICKNAME:Vozd ORG:EngView Systems Sofia Corp. - a Sirma Group company;Research & Development TITLE:Technical Writer TEL;WORK;VOICE:(+359) 2 9810018-131/134 TEL;CELL;VOICE:087 968439 ADR;WORK:;;60 Solunska Str., Apt. 8;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;WORK;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:60 Solunska Str., Apt. 8=0D=0ASofia=0D=0ABulgaria ADR;HOME:;;;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;HOME;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:Sofia=0D=0ABulgaria X-WAB-GENDER:2 URL;WORK:http://www.engview.com; http://www.sirma.bg EMAIL;PREF;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] EMAIL;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] REV:20020211T095834Z END:VCARD
[JOKES] Liar
A police officer pulls a bloke over for speeding and has the followingexchange:Yes Officer?May I see your driver's licence?Driver: I don't have one. I had it suspended for exceeding .05.Officer: May I see the registration for this vehicle?Driver: It's not my car. I stole it.Officer: The car is stolen?Driver: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw theregistration inthe glove box when I was putting my gun in there.Officer: There's a gun in the glove box?Driver: Yes mate. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the womanwhoowns this car and stuffed her in the boot.Officer. There's a BODY in the BOOT?!?!?Driver: Yes mate.Hearing this, the officer immediately called for back up. Police quicklysurround the car and the Captain approached the driver to handle the tensesituation:Captain: Sir, can I see your licence?Driver: Sure. Here it is. It was valid.Captain: Whose car is this?Driver: It's mine officer. Here are the registration papers.The driver owned the car.Captain: Could you slowly open the glove box so I can see if there's a guninit?Driver: Yes sir, but there's no gun in it Sure enough, therewas NOTHING in the glove box.Captain: Would you mind opening your boot? I was told you said there's abody init.Driver: No problem. Boot is opened; no bodyCaptain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you toldhimyou didn't have a licence, stole the car, had a gun in the glove box, andthatthere was a dead body in the boot.Driver: Yeah, I'll bet the lying bastard told you I was speeding as well. BEGIN:VCARD VERSION:2.1 N:Terziev;Ivan;Nikolaev FN:Ivan Nikolaev Terziev NICKNAME:Vozd ORG:EngView Systems Sofia Corp. - a Sirma Group company;Research & Development TITLE:Technical Writer TEL;WORK;VOICE:(+359) 2 9810018-131/134 TEL;CELL;VOICE:087 968439 ADR;WORK:;;60 Solunska Str., Apt. 8;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;WORK;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:60 Solunska Str., Apt. 8=0D=0ASofia=0D=0ABulgaria ADR;HOME:;;;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;HOME;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:Sofia=0D=0ABulgaria X-WAB-GENDER:2 URL;WORK:http://www.engview.com; http://www.sirma.bg EMAIL;PREF;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] EMAIL;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] REV:20020206T082310Z END:VCARD
[JOKES] no comment
http://www.segabg.com/01022002/p0050003.asp BEGIN:VCARD VERSION:2.1 N:Terziev;Ivan;Nikolaev FN:Ivan Nikolaev Terziev NICKNAME:Vozd ORG:EngView Systems Sofia Corp. - a Sirma Group company;Research & Development TITLE:Technical Writer TEL;WORK;VOICE:(+359) 2 9810018-131/134 TEL;CELL;VOICE:087 968439 ADR;WORK:;;60 Solunska Str., Apt. 8;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;WORK;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:60 Solunska Str., Apt. 8=0D=0ASofia=0D=0ABulgaria ADR;HOME:;;;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;HOME;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:Sofia=0D=0ABulgaria X-WAB-GENDER:2 URL;WORK:http://www.engview.com; http://www.sirma.bg EMAIL;PREF;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] EMAIL;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] REV:20020201T140816Z END:VCARD
[JOKES] ne e joke - ako se kefite na pesenta glasuwaite:)
http://mm.hit.bg/interactive Gravity Co. - Away ( tiq sa mi deto se wika pochti ot moita banda ) BEGIN:VCARD VERSION:2.1 N:Terziev;Ivan;Nikolaev FN:Ivan Nikolaev Terziev NICKNAME:Vozd ORG:EngView Systems Sofia Corp. - a Sirma Group company;Research & Development TITLE:Technical Writer TEL;WORK;VOICE:(+359) 2 9810018-131/134 TEL;CELL;VOICE:087 968439 ADR;WORK:;;60 Solunska Str., Apt. 8;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;WORK;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:60 Solunska Str., Apt. 8=0D=0ASofia=0D=0ABulgaria ADR;HOME:;;;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;HOME;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:Sofia=0D=0ABulgaria X-WAB-GENDER:2 URL;WORK:http://www.engview.com; http://www.sirma.bg EMAIL;PREF;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] EMAIL;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] REV:20020131T163431Z END:VCARD
[JOKES] fandango
http://fanmango.hit.bg/ BEGIN:VCARD VERSION:2.1 N:Terziev;Ivan;Nikolaev FN:Ivan Nikolaev Terziev NICKNAME:Vozd ORG:EngView Systems Sofia Corp. - a Sirma Group company;Research & Development TITLE:Technical Writer TEL;WORK;VOICE:(+359) 2 9810018-131/134 TEL;CELL;VOICE:087 968439 ADR;WORK:;;60 Solunska Str., Apt. 8;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;WORK;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:60 Solunska Str., Apt. 8=0D=0ASofia=0D=0ABulgaria ADR;HOME:;;;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;HOME;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:Sofia=0D=0ABulgaria X-WAB-GENDER:2 URL;WORK:http://www.engview.com; http://www.sirma.bg EMAIL;PREF;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] EMAIL;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] REV:20020115T162840Z END:VCARD
[JOKES] Fake or real
http://www.fakeorfoto.com BEGIN:VCARD VERSION:2.1 N:Terziev;Ivan;Nikolaev FN:Ivan Nikolaev Terziev NICKNAME:Vozd ORG:EngView Systems Sofia Corp. - a Sirma Group company;Research & Development TITLE:Technical Writer TEL;WORK;VOICE:(+359) 2 9810018-131/134 TEL;CELL;VOICE:087 968439 ADR;WORK:;;60 Solunska Str., Apt. 8;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;WORK;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:60 Solunska Str., Apt. 8=0D=0ASofia=0D=0ABulgaria ADR;HOME:;;;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;HOME;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:Sofia=0D=0ABulgaria X-WAB-GENDER:2 URL;WORK:http://www.engview.com; http://www.sirma.bg EMAIL;PREF;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] EMAIL;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] REV:20020114T121102Z END:VCARD
[JOKES] Sorry ako niakoi obicha da swiri na bass:))
Orkestyr sviri v populiarno shou. Mislite na muzikantite: Solo kitaristyt: "A sega! Sega e momentyt da izsviria svoeto veliko solo. To shte byde nai-velikoto v istoriiata na muzikata!!!" Klavishnite: "Gospodi! Kak go izsvirih tova. Kak legnah na temata, kolko plavno preminavam v melodiiata i samo kak vliubeno me gledat devoikite v publikata" Udarnite: "Palkite mi sami biiat po barabanite. Te me izdigat kato krile nad publikata i ostavame samo az i muzikata, a naokolo niama nikogo" Bas-kitaristyt: "Sol, do. Sol, do. Sol, sol, fa, do."
[JOKES] UI Design Hall of Shame
http://www.iarchitect.com/mshame.htm BEGIN:VCARD VERSION:2.1 N:Terziev;Ivan;N. FN:Ivan N. Terziev ORG:EngView Systems Sofia ltd.;R&D TITLE:Technical Writer TEL;WORK;VOICE:359-2-9810018-131 ADR;WORK:;60 Solunska Str.;;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;WORK;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:60 Solunska Str.=0D=0ASofia=0D=0ABulgaria ADR;HOME:;;;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;HOME;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:Sofia=0D=0ABulgaria X-WAB-GENDER:2 URL;WORK:http://www.engview.com EMAIL;PREF;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] REV:20020103T130241Z END:VCARD
[JOKES] Saglasna
V uchilishte - urok po bg ezik. Uchitelkata kazva:- Ivancho, kazhi mi edna saglasna.Ivancho otgovarya bez da se zamislya:- Mariika! BEGIN:VCARD VERSION:2.1 N:Terziev;Ivan;N. FN:Ivan N. Terziev ORG:EngView Systems Sofia ltd.;R&D TITLE:Technical Writer TEL;WORK;VOICE:359-2-9810018-131 ADR;WORK:;60 Solunska Str.;;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;WORK;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:60 Solunska Str.=0D=0ASofia=0D=0ABulgaria ADR;HOME:;;;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;HOME;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:Sofia=0D=0ABulgaria X-WAB-GENDER:2 URL;WORK:http://www.engview.com EMAIL;PREF;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] REV:20011219T100145Z END:VCARD
[JOKES] ...a few not-so-laughable ons:)
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomedthrough stupidity,here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:On a Sear's hairdryer:"Do not use while sleeping."(Gee that's the only time I have to work on my hair.) On a bag of Fritos:"You could be a winner! No purchasenecessary. Details inside."(The shoplifter special)On a bar of Dial soap:"Directions: Use like regular soap."(And that would be how ...?)On some Swanson frozen dinners:"Serving suggestion: Defrost."(But its "just" a suggestion)On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom):"Do not turn upside down."(Too late!)On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:"Product will be hot after heating."(As night follows day . . .)On packaging for a Rowenta iron:"Do not iron clothes on body."(But wouldn't this save me more time?)On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)On Nytol Sleep Aid:"Warning: May cause drowsiness."(One would hope.) On most brands of Christmas lights:"For indoor or outdoor use only."(As opposed to what?)On a Japanese food processor:"Not to be used for the other use."(I gotta admit, I'm curious.)On Sainsbury's peanuts:"Warning: contains nuts."(Talk about a news flash.)On an American Airlines packet of nuts:"Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."( Step 3: Fly Delta.)On a child's superman costume:"Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."(I don't blame the company. I blame parents for this one.)On a Swedish chainsaw:"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."(Was there a lot of this happening somewhere? My Gosh!) BEGIN:VCARD VERSION:2.1 N:Terziev;Ivan;N. FN:Ivan N. Terziev ORG:EngView Systems Sofia ltd.;R&D TITLE:Technical Writer TEL;WORK;VOICE:359-2-9810018-131 ADR;WORK:;60 Solunska Str.;;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;WORK;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:60 Solunska Str.=0D=0ASofia=0D=0ABulgaria ADR;HOME:;;;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;HOME;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:Sofia=0D=0ABulgaria X-WAB-GENDER:2 URL;WORK:http://www.engview.com EMAIL;PREF;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] REV:20011214T150316Z END:VCARD
Re: [JOKES] kandidat
Stenly, ne im se dawai! Dryj se MYJKI i just do
it!!:)) Dojasi, che na NDSS moje da se verva!
- Original Message -
From:
Maria
Arsova
To: Valentin Vachkov ; jokes
Cc: Olya Vachkova
Sent: Thursday, December 06, 2001 3:12
PM
Subject: Re: [JOKES] kandidat
Hajde, Stenly, az sym s teb! :-)
Ama iskam da gledam fizionomiite ti dokato si
epilirash krakata :-)))
A posle vsichki kolejki drujno ste ti pomognem da
oblechesh svatbenata roklq na Zlaty (nali ne si zabravil, che Snejanka e s
dylga bqla roklq? :-)
Mimi
- Original Message -
From:
Valentin Vachkov
To: jokes
Cc: Olya Vachkova
Sent: Thursday, December 06, 2001 12:51
PM
Subject: Re: [JOKES] kandidat
Mnenie na majka na potyrpewsho detence. Citiram:
"Predaj na Stenly, che ako si epilira
krakata, bradata i podmishnicite, ako prekara 20 min. s termichni rolki na
glawata i oshte tolkoz s razhuwabqwashta kal na liceto i izobshto ako
iztyrpi wsichko onowa, koeto bi naprawila edna zhena, za da se qwi kato
Snezhanka, shte glasuwam za nego!"
Olya Vachkova
Tatkoto
- Original Message -
From:
Stanislav
Jordanov
To: Jokes
Sent: Wednesday, December 05, 2001
6:10 PM
Subject: [JOKES] kandidat
S napylno osyznata
otgowornost za ewentualnite posledstwiq
zaqwqwam gotownosta si da izpylnq rolqta na
Snezhanka na detskoto koledno party.
Zashtoto edin istinski patriot ne
pita "Kakwo mozhe da naprawi Koleda za men?"
Edin istinski patriot se pita "Kakwo moga da
naprawq az za Koleda?"
Nqkoi shte kazhat "Koledata e
newyzmozhna!".
Pesimizmyt obhwanal dushata na rodniq koledar
e lesno razbiraem.
Posledniq mandat na Koledata popadna w rycete
na hora, koito dojdoha sys shtedroto obeshtanie "Wsekimu Koleda pone
wednyzh godishno".
Wsichki widqhme kakwo postignaha tezi hora -
"Wseki den e Welikden", no ne za wseki, a za izbranite.
Az kazwam - dajte mi 800 dni i shte widite
che tq (Koledata) e ne samo wyzmozhna - tq e neshto sywsem normalno i w
reda na neshtata.
p.s.: Ne bydete sexist-i - glasuwajte za NDSS
- Nacionalno Dwizhenie Stenly - Snejanka
p.s.1: Idwa Nowoto Wreme (*wremeto
na Unisexsyt*)
p.s.2: Za interesuwashtite se - izleze ot
pechat platformata na NDSS - "Poweche radost ot Koledata" (I i
II)
p.s.3: Ne che zaplashwam, no na komisiq na
OON za borba sys sexism-a shte i byde mnogo interesno da chue prichinite
da mi byde otkazan posta.
- Original Message -
From:
Maria
Arsova
To: Nikolai ; [EMAIL PROTECTED]
Sent: Wednesday, December 05, 2001
5:33 PM
Subject: Re: detsko koledno
party
Imahme jelanie da e Bobsyn, no tq e na
izpiti - i na 15ti, i na 22ri
taka che ako nqma drugi jelaesti pak ste
byda az ... makar che moje bi steshe da byde dobre da ima
raznoobrazie
- Original Message -
From:
Nikolai
To: Maria
Arsova ; [EMAIL PROTECTED]
Sent: Wednesday, December 05,
2001 4:59 PM
Subject: RE: detsko koledno
party
Ami kak stoi vyprosa sys Snejanka?
-Original Message-From: Maria Arsova [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]]Sent:
Wednesday, December 05, 2001 5:00 PMTo: [EMAIL PROTECTED]Subject:
detsko koledno party
Zdravejte,
Datata za partyto e
15.12., sybota ot 11 chasa. Milsq che tova e udoben chas za vsichki
- ste mojete da se naspite, nakontite i da dojdete gotovi za
kupon.
Podarycite se kupuvat
ot RODITELITE. Molq vi, opitajte se da vleznete v nqkakvi razumni
ramki kato pari i razmeri, za da nqma zasegnati deca ("podaryka na
onova momichence e po-hubav ot moq" tochno na praznika zvychi
tyjno). Da rechem 20 lv za podaryk sa OK? ili daje moje bi i
po-malko?
Pari sybirame za:
Koledno dryvche - ako reshite che moje da si spestim tozi razhod,
ste se naloji nqkoj da donese izkustveno. Lichno az nqmam, a i
poveche dyrja na istinskoto, no ... vie reshavate :) Systo taka pari
ste ni trqbvat za malko ukrasa (koqto pak mojem da donesem ot
vkysti), za kostum na Dqdo Koleda - ako imate i kostum, nosete
:-))), kakto i za malko bezalkoholni, shareni chashki i chinijki za
decata. Ta mislq po 10 lv. na uchastie.
Dqdo Koleda - mnogo
[JOKES] Ar u a profeshnl
\\Sirma_Main\Common\Vozd\Are_you_a_professiona1.pps BEGIN:VCARD VERSION:2.1 N:Terziev;Ivan;N. FN:Ivan N. Terziev ORG:EngView Systems Sofia ltd.;R&D TITLE:Technical Writer TEL;WORK;VOICE:359-2-9810018-131 ADR;WORK:;60 Solunska Str.;;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;WORK;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:60 Solunska Str.=0D=0ASofia=0D=0ABulgaria ADR;HOME:;;;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;HOME;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:Sofia=0D=0ABulgaria X-WAB-GENDER:2 URL;WORK:http://www.engview.com EMAIL;PREF;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] REV:20011204T130752Z END:VCARD
[JOKES] ...
(Q) What's the best form of birth control after 50? (A) Nudity. __ (Q) What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? (A) 45 lbs. (Q) What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? (A) 45 minutes. _ (Q) How many women does it take to change a light bulb? (A) None, they just sit there in the dark and bitch. _ (Q) What's the fastest way to a man's heart? (A) Through his chest with a sharp knife. __ (Q) Why are men and parking spaces alike? (A) Because all the good ones are taken and the only ones left are disabled. _ (Q) Why do men want to marry virgins? (A) They can't stand criticism. __ (Q) Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good looking? (A) Because those men already have boyfriends. __ (Q) What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? (A) After a year, the dog is still excited to see you. __ (Q) What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying? (A) The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving. ___ (Q) What do you call a smart blonde? (A) A golden retriever. (Q) Why does the bride always wear white? (A) Because it's good for the dishwasher to match the stove and refrigerator. ___ (Q) A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead are all in third grade. Who has the biggest boobs? (A) The blonde, because she's 18. ___ (Q) Which sexual position produces the ugliest children? (A) Ask your Mom. __ (Q) What is the quickest way to clear out a men's restroom? (A) Say, "Nice Dick." _ (Q) Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex? (A) Because they have cotton balls. ___ (Q) What's the difference between a porcupine and a BMW? (A) A porcupine has the pricks on the outside. BEGIN:VCARD VERSION:2.1 N:Terziev;Ivan;N. FN:Ivan N. Terziev ORG:EngView Systems Sofia ltd.;R&D TITLE:Technical Writer TEL;WORK;VOICE:359-2-9810018-131 ADR;WORK:;60 Solunska Str.;;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;WORK;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:60 Solunska Str.=0D=0ASofia=0D=0ABulgaria ADR;HOME:;;;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;HOME;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:Sofia=0D=0ABulgaria X-WAB-GENDER:2 URL;WORK:http://www.engview.com EMAIL;PREF;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] REV:20011130T083710Z END:VCARD
[JOKES] Mtel...
BEGIN:VCARD VERSION:2.1 N:Terziev;Ivan;N. FN:Ivan N. Terziev ORG:EngView Systems Sofia ltd.;R&D TITLE:Technical Writer TEL;WORK;VOICE:359-2-9810018-131 ADR;WORK:;60 Solunska Str.;;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;WORK;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:60 Solunska Str.=0D=0ASofia=0D=0ABulgaria ADR;HOME:;;;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;HOME;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:Sofia=0D=0ABulgaria X-WAB-GENDER:2 URL;WORK:http://www.engview.com EMAIL;PREF;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] REV:20011129T111450Z END:VCARD Mtel_sms.GIF Description: GIF image
[JOKES] Understanding Computer Technology
BEGIN:VCARD VERSION:2.1 N:Terziev;Ivan;N. FN:Ivan N. Terziev ORG:EngView Systems Sofia ltd.;R&D TITLE:Technical Writer TEL;WORK;VOICE:359-2-9810018-131 ADR;WORK:;60 Solunska Str.;;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;WORK;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:60 Solunska Str.=0D=0ASofia=0D=0ABulgaria ADR;HOME:;;;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;HOME;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:Sofia=0D=0ABulgaria X-WAB-GENDER:2 URL;WORK:http://www.engview.com EMAIL;PREF;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] REV:20011121T085806Z END:VCARD <>
[JOKES] An Italian abroad:)
\\Sirma_Main\Common\Vozd\Italian.mp3 BEGIN:VCARD VERSION:2.1 N:Terziev;Ivan;N. FN:Ivan N. Terziev ORG:EngView Systems Sofia ltd.;R&D TITLE:Technical Writer TEL;WORK;VOICE:359-2-9810018-131 ADR;WORK:;60 Solunska Str.;;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;WORK;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:60 Solunska Str.=0D=0ASofia=0D=0ABulgaria ADR;HOME:;;;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;HOME;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:Sofia=0D=0ABulgaria X-WAB-GENDER:2 URL;WORK:http://www.engview.com EMAIL;PREF;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] REV:2005T133209Z END:VCARD
[JOKES] Aspects on demography: kids' views on life
Aspects on demography: kids' views on life HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY?"You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you likesports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep thechips and dip coming." Alan, age 10"No person really decides before they grow up who they're going tomarry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later whoyou're stuck with." Kirsten, age 10HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?"You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling atthe same kids." Derrick, age 8WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?"Both don't want any more kids." Lori, age 8WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?"Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to knoweach other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough." Lynnette, age 8WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR?"I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call all thenewspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns." Craig, age 9WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?"When they're rich." Pam, age 7"The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to messwith that." Curt, age 6"The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marrythem and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do." Howard, age 8IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED? "It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someoneto clean up after them." Anita, age 9HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED? "There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't here?" Kelvin, age 9HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK? "Tell your wife that she looks pretty even if she looks like a truck." Ricky, age 10 BEGIN:VCARD VERSION:2.1 N:Terziev;Ivan;N. FN:Ivan N. Terziev ORG:EngView Systems Sofia ltd.;R&D TITLE:Technical Writer TEL;WORK;VOICE:359-2-9810018-131 ADR;WORK:;60 Solunska Str.;;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;WORK;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:60 Solunska Str.=0D=0ASofia=0D=0ABulgaria ADR;HOME:;;;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;HOME;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:Sofia=0D=0ABulgaria X-WAB-GENDER:2 URL;WORK:http://www.engview.com EMAIL;PREF;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] REV:2005T083458Z END:VCARD
[JOKES] Rejection Letter:))))
Dear Hiring Manager:Thank you for your letter dated Oct. 4, 2001. Aftercareful consideration,I regret to inform you that I amunable to accept your refusal to offer me a positionin your department.This year, I have been particularly fortunate inreceiving an unusually large number of rejectionletters. With such a varied and promising field ofcandidates, it's impossible for me to accept allrefusals.Despite your company's outstanding qualifications andprevious experience in rejecting applicants, I findthat your rejection does not meet my needs at thistime.I look forward to seeing you Monday, at 9 a.m., as Ibegin my future with your company. I wish you the bestof luck in rejecting future applicants.Sincerely,Joe B. BrownInterviewee BEGIN:VCARD VERSION:2.1 N:Terziev;Ivan;N. FN:Ivan N. Terziev ORG:EngView Systems Sofia ltd.;R&D TITLE:Technical Writer TEL;WORK;VOICE:359-2-9810018-131 ADR;WORK:;60 Solunska Str.;;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;WORK;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:60 Solunska Str.=0D=0ASofia=0D=0ABulgaria ADR;HOME:;;;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;HOME;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:Sofia=0D=0ABulgaria X-WAB-GENDER:2 URL;WORK:http://www.engview.com EMAIL;PREF;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] REV:20011101T130259Z END:VCARD
[JOKES] acronyms
PCMCIA People Can't Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms ISDN It Still Does Nothing Apple Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity SCSI System Can't See It DOS Defunct Operating System Basic Bill's Attempt to Seize Industry Control IBM I Blame Microsoft DEC Do Expect Cuts CD-ROM Consumer Device, Rendered Obsolete in Months OS/2 Obsolete Soon, Too WWW World Wide Wait Microsoft Most Intelligent Customers Realize Our Software Only Fools Teenagers Macintosh Most Applications Crash, If Not, The Operating System Hangs BEGIN:VCARD VERSION:2.1 N:Terziev;Ivan;N. FN:Ivan N. Terziev ORG:EngView Systems Sofia ltd.;R&D TITLE:Technical Writer TEL;WORK;VOICE:359-2-9810018-131 ADR;WORK:;60 Solunska Str.;;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;WORK;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:60 Solunska Str.=0D=0ASofia=0D=0ABulgaria ADR;HOME:;;;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;HOME;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:Sofia=0D=0ABulgaria X-WAB-GENDER:2 URL;WORK:http://www.engview.com EMAIL;PREF;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] REV:20011101T092225Z END:VCARD
[JOKES] Horror movie
<>
[JOKES] Chernite dupki
Q: Kakvo predstavlyavat chernite dupki v kosmosa?A: Tam Gospod e delil na nula... :
[JOKES] Programming in Jail...
<>
[JOKES] Formula 1 ( pusnete si sound )
http://www.main.gadclan.de/flash/dengdeng.swf
[JOKES] Tiq rusnaci beee...
http://62.176.67.73/news/news.php?news=today&news_id=26479
Re: [JOKES] FUNNY SLOGAN TRANSLATIONS
> Coors put its slogan, "Turn It Loose," into Spanish, where it > read as "Suffer From Diarrhea." > -COORS Mi to na Engl. s malko poweche associativno mislene pak twa si znachi - e werno malko perifrazirano ama... - "Lose it" - nqkoi ot nas deto obichat lozeto ( kakto kazwa Naso ) znaem kak e:-))) Pozdrawi, Vozd. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= * PLEASE do not post offensive jokes * List info and instructions are available at http://harbinger.sirma.bg/lists/jokes.html =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
[JOKES] Umbro
\\Sirma_Main\Common\Vozd\Umbro.asf
[JOKES] Star ama hubaw:-))
Umira Bill Gates i mu predlagat da izbere mezhdu raya i ada. Rayat mu se vizhda strahotna skuka, a v ada vizhda yako kupon, piene, matzki, narkotitzi, etc. i estestveno izbira ada. Kato go prashtat tam izvednqzh se ozovava v tipichniya pqkql i edin dyavol go podkarva s trizqbetza kqm kazana. Billy uchuden pita kakvo stava, nali drugo e vidyal, i dyavolqt mu otgovarya "Aaaa, tova beshe demo versiya" :)
[JOKES] Gamers
Edin gamer umira i go prashtat v ada. Sled izvestno vreme Satan otiva pri God i mu kazva "Molya te vzemi go toya che mi iztrepa vsichki dyavoli i pita kqde e klyuchqt za nivoto..." :)
[JOKES] Chetete "Trud":-))
Citat ot dneshniq broi na w-k Trud, str. 7 ot prilozhenieto "Sofianec" ( stawa duma za reklama na klub "Bibliotekata" ): "... Pochitatelite na shotlandskata kultura pyk se orientirat kym "Jim Beam" bara..." Kyde ostana Kentucky, pitam se az...:-)))
[JOKES] --
íÌÁÄÁ, ÐÒÉ×ÌÅËÁÔÅÌÎÁ ÖÅÎÁ ÌÅÖÉ É ÓÅ ÐÅÞÅ ÓÁÍÁ ÎÁ ÐÌÁÖÁ. ëßÍ ÎÅÑ ÓÅ ÐÒÉÂÌÉÖÁ×Á ÍßÖ É ÐÉÔÁ: - éÚ×ÉÎÅÔÅ, ÇÏÓÐÏÖÉÃÅ. ÷ÉÖÄÁÍ, ÞÅ ÓÔÅ ÓÁÍÁ, ÎÅ ×É ÌÉ Å ÓËÕÞÎÏ ÔÁËÁ? - áÂÅ ÔÉ ËÁË×Ï ÒÁÂÏÔÉÛ? - ðÒÏÇÒÁÍÉÓÔ ÓßÍ! - ñ ÓÉ ÐÒÅÄÓÔÁ×É ÔÏÇÁ×Á: ÏÔÉ×ÁÛ ÎÁ ÐÏÞÉ×ËÁ, ÌÅÖÉÛ ÓÉ ÎÁ ÐÌÁÖÁ É ÏËÏÌÏ ÔÅÂÅ ËÏÍÐÀÔÒÉ, ËÏÍÐÀÔÒÉ, ËÏÍÐÀÔÒÉ - å, Ë×Ï ÔÏÌËÏ×Á? óÕÐÅÒ ËÅÆ! - 286-ÉÃÉ ... É ÂÅÚ ÍÏÄÅÍÉ... - =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= * PLEASE do not post offensive jokes * List info and instructions are available at http://harbinger.sirma.bg/lists/jokes.html =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
[JOKES] E towa si struwa da se chue:-)))
Z:\Vozd\londonairportannouncement.doc =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= * PLEASE do not post offensive jokes * List info and instructions are available at http://harbinger.sirma.bg/lists/jokes.html =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
[JOKES] Obqwi
Sorry za spam-a, ako weche ste gi cheli tiq: (Actual excerpts from classified sections of city newspapers) Illiterate? Write today for free help. Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, you'll never go anywhere again. Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it. Our experienced Mom will care for your child. Fenced yard, meals, and smacks included. Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children. Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel. Stock up and save. Limit: one. Semi-Annual after-Christmas Sale. 3-year old teacher needed for pre-school. Experience preferred. Mixing bowl set designed to please a cook with round bottom for efficient beating. Girl wanted to assist magician in cutting-off-head illusion. Blue Cross and salary. Dinner Special -- Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00 For sale: antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers. Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home too. We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand. For sale. Three canaries of undermined sex. Great Dames for sale. Have several very old dresses from grandmother in beautiful condition. Vacation Special: have your home exterminated. Get rid of aunts. Zap does the job in 24 hours. Toaster: A gift that every member of the family appreciates. Automatically burns toast. For Rent: 6-room hated apartment. Man, honest. Will take anything. Used Cars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated. Come here first. Christmas tag-sale. Handmade gifts for the hard-to-find person. Wanted: Hair cutter. Excellent growth potential. Wanted. Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink. Our bikinis are exciting. They are simply the tops. Wanted. Widower with school age children requires person to assume general housekeeping duties. Must be capable of contributing to growth of family. And now, the Superstore-unequaled in size, unmatched in variety, unrivaled inconvenience. We will oil your sewing machine and adjust tension in your home. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= * PLEASE do not post offensive jokes * List info and instructions are available at http://harbinger.sirma.bg/lists/jokes.html =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
[JOKES] karikaturi...
Z:\Vozd\Jokes\... =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= * PLEASE do not post offensive jokes * List info and instructions are available at http://harbinger.sirma.bg/lists/jokes.html =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
