Re: Americana guesswork/line-d@#*@
I would just like to say that I do not understand what everybody has against line dancing. I think it's a lot of fun. Two-stepping, too. Brings back fond memories of a sawdust covered floor in a bitty roadhouse with a jukebox outside Pinetop, AZ, circa 1970. LR As I have said many times before, line-dancing is the dance of the devil. It's a mechanized, robotized, rote, brainless, unimaginative, zombie-istic, witchie, sinful, masturbatory tribute to 20th century industrial soullessness. Plus it's really difficult to feel anyone up while you're line-dancing! But I will agree about two-stepping and jitter-bugging and all that swing-type stuff, because, first, it's all the things that line-dancing isn't, and, second, it's a good way of avoiding getting drunk too quickly in a club. And, third, please don't take me too seriously. -- Terry Smith
Re: Americana guesswork/line-d@#*@
Terry A. Smith wrote: I would just like to say that I do not understand what everybody has against line dancing. I think it's a lot of fun. Dancing in part at least at its best involves flirting and enjoying your partners presence. It's a game and a wonderful suggestive game at that whether its slow dancing or flat out rock n soul. And that's impossible with line dancing. I've also said that it looks like the Richard Simmons show but the music is better on Richard's show. As an aside, I don't do the the Macarena either. If I'm on a dance floor and I'm gonna grab somebody's ass it sure as hell ain't gonna be my own. Iceman
Re: Americana guesswork/line-d@#*@
At 08:18 AM 1/21/99 -0500, you wrote: I would just like to say that I do not understand what everybody has against line dancing. I think it's a lot of fun. Two-stepping, too. Brings back fond memories of a sawdust covered floor in a bitty roadhouse with a jukebox outside Pinetop, AZ, circa 1970. LR this is an old discussion, so I brought up my old answer. you've seen it before, but because I am holding the baby (baby says goo- i think that means hi) i will repost this. The truth about LineDancing There is a disease going around that is ruining America. Line-Dancing. You can't go into a Honky Tonk anywhere in this great land without being exposed to it's demonic lure. It's ruining marriages and stamping out the individualism that made our country great. Aids and Safe sex are responsible for line-dancing. People only dance for two reasons. Women dance for fun. They like to get on the dance floor and show off. But men dance for an entirely different reason. We dance to get laid. That's it. We would rather sit at the bar swapping lies, or prove our superior hand-eye coordination at the pool table. But the game of shooting pool is dominated by men. And most guys are more interested in spending quality time, that is time without their clothes on, with the female of the species. So we are forced to interact with them. The way to do this is by talking to them. Gone are the days when you could just whack them in the head with a club and drag them back to your cave. These days, this kind of behavior is frowned upon. And women will club your ass back now too. Nope. The way it's done these days is through the art of communication. Communication is a cruel trick imposed on us males by Nazi Feminists. Us men really aren't any good at it. But if you want that pretty little cave girl to come check out the paintings in your cave you are going to have to learn to communicate. And communication is hard to do at the bar. All the other cavemen there are trying to get underneath her animal skin robes as well. That's why they invented dancing. While dancing it is just you and her. A two step or a slow song is a perfect time for gazing into each others eyes and swapping lies back and forth. Now I'm not much of a dancer. Because of this I didn't get laid much either. So I had to figure out how to dance if I wanted to interact with someone less ugly than me. Slow dancing I had down cold. If you can hug, you can slow dance. Slow dancing is just a hug set to music. You might have to shuffle your feet a little bit, but even a completely uncoordinated drunken klutz can do it. Even a geek like me. But then I had to learn to Two-Step. This was a lot harder. You have to be able to count. I worked at this one for a while. (the counting) Then one night it was explained to me. A Two-Step is nothing more than a controlled stagger. Once I figured how how to Two-Step without causing anyone permanent injuries, I then had to learn how to dance and talk at the same time. This seemed about as simple as brain surgery. After a while I got better at it. I even started showering regularly and using toothpaste and deodorant. This really improved my Communication skills. I was able to spend Quality Time with several future young heartbreaking, home wrecking types. Then along came line-dancing. Line-dancing looks like a Broadway musical. Everything is so carefully choreographed. It looks to me like all line dancers should be wearing tights and a tutu. I don't look good in tights. I can't follow directions worth a damn. But women go for line-dancing. Because it looks pretty. It reminds me of Sumo Wrestling. You aren't close enough to your partner to be able to look into their eyes. You can't talk to them. Hell, line-dancing doesn't even require a partner. It has changed the art of dancing to the equivalent of a livestock show. You trot Ole Bessie out into the ring, circle her around a couple of times, The farmers are standing around talking and checking out Ole Bessie's teats. Then people start bidding. Whoever want's to spend the most on Ole Bessie takes her home. I ain't got a chance. My nights alone have increased dramatically. Give me one of those slow cheating songs where I can rest her large silicone enhanced breasts on top of my large fried chicken enhanced belly. Then I can lean over and whisper one of my world famous patented pickup lines in her ear. like "Them's nice jeans, I bet they'd look even better hanging over the back of my couch" or "Your prettier than a sheep with her back legs caught in a fence on a moonlite night" or my favorite "How would you like to come over and see the house that you are gonna take away in our nasty divorce". You can't break up a home with line-dancing. And it just ain't right to line-dance to cheatin, drinking, prison, or murdered girlfriend songs. You got to two-step or slow dance. That's why more lawyers listen to George Jones and Merle Haggard than Brooks and Dunn. Job Security. Jeff
RE: Americana guesswork/line-d@#*@
The criticisms of line-dancing offered so far apply just about as well to square dancing and flat footin', neither of which typically involve grab-assin'; I guess that makes them evil and soulless. Jon Weisberger Kenton County, KY [EMAIL PROTECTED] http://home.fuse.net/jonweisberger/
Re: Americana guesswork/line-d@#*@
In a message dated 1/21/99 8:04:34 AM Central Standard Time, [EMAIL PROTECTED] writes: The criticisms of line-dancing offered so far apply just about as well to square dancing and flat footin', neither of which typically involve grab-assin'; I guess that makes them evil and soulless. No, they don't. You obviously never had to square dance on rainy days in elementary school, when some evil gym teacher forced you to (ACK!) hold hands with a girl. Too bad we didn't know then what we know now (see Jeff Wall's dissertation on dancing). I bet Jesco White gets laid. Imagine what kind of groupies he has. Slim
Re: Americana guesswork/line-d@#*@
Jon Weisberger wrote: The criticisms of line-dancing offered so far apply just about as well to square dancing and flat footin', neither of which typically involve grab-assin' . . . which reminds me of the most serious grab-assin' I've ever seen at any gig. It was during a local country band's last song, which happened to be "God Bless America." Boy, talk about your make-out tunes! Tom Smith
RE: Americana guesswork/line-d@#*@
I missed this one, but Jon, line dancing is about as far from square dancing (not talking modern western stuff here) and flat footin' as you can get. Jim N. "Jon Weisberger" [EMAIL PROTECTED] 01/21 8:03 AM The criticisms of line-dancing offered so far apply just about as well to square dancing and flat footin', neither of which typically involve grab-assin'; I guess that makes them evil and soulless. Jon Weisberger Kenton County, KY [EMAIL PROTECTED] http://home.fuse.net/jonweisberger/
Re: Americana guesswork/line-d@#*@
At 08:55 AM 1/21/99 -0500, you wrote: this is an old discussion, so I brought up my old answer. you've seen it before, but because I am holding the baby (baby says goo- i think that means hi) i will repost this. Sorry Jeff, joking or not, you are just wrong about this. Reading all these anti-line dance rants reminds me of our parents (or grandparents, for some of you) who claimed that rock music was the devil's music. You're sounding like a bunch of narrow-minded fuddy-duddies... Republican, even. There are many forms of dance, and only a few of them involve cuddling with your partner or flirting. Those who define dance as only being those dance forms that require a partner have a very limited (and ignorant) view of dancing. Line dancing is similar to Broadway choreography, but whether or not you dance on Broadway has no bearing on the goodness or "badness" of line dance. It's also similar to ethnic folk dance. I suppose you think that those guys dancing in "Fiddler on the Roof" aren't really dancing?! If you don't see any individual expression/interpretation in line dancing then you need to get out more, or else need to start paying more attention. I'm sure there are some clubs where the dancers perform like robots. But most dancers who have progressed beyond beginner's level tend to dance with "character." The truth about LineDancing ...Is that it became very popular with people who got tired of waiting for partners to ask them to dance. (What a bunch of lamers, those "cowboys" bellied up to the bar!) Lianne
RE: Americana guesswork/line-d@#*@
Well, Lianne's already said some of what I was going to say, but... I missed this one, but Jon, line dancing is about as far from square dancing (not talking modern western stuff here) and flat footin' as you can get. I didn't say they were the same, I said the criticisms of line-dancing apply about as well to those forms. They're not couples holding each other close, and square dancing is so regimented it has a dictator screaming out orders g. Jon Weisberger Kenton County, KY [EMAIL PROTECTED] http://home.fuse.net/jonweisberger/
The Booty Call (was Re: Americana guesswork/line-d@#*@)
Great article in the Washington Post day befor yeaterday about the Booty Call, a new kinda line dance popular with the Black Community. Don't have the URL, but a search through http://www.washingtonpost.com/ should turn it up. I was struck by how folks who dig the Booty Call don't seem to take it quite as seriously as do country line dancers or anti-line dancers. -- Geff King * [EMAIL PROTECTED] * http://www2.ari.net/gking/ "Don't let me catch you laughin' when the jukebox cries" - K. Friedman, "Sold American"
Re: Americana guesswork/line-d@#*@
Jeff Wall on line dancing -- Have you ever considered writing some of those male/female communication books like "Women are from Venus and Men are from Mars" -- I think you might be able to do a good job and make a shitload of money selling them to the redneck market g Deb Laughing her butt off
Re: Americana guesswork/line-d@#*@
At 03:24 PM 1/21/99 EST, you wrote: Jeff Wall on line dancing -- Have you ever considered writing some of those male/female communication books like "Women are from Venus and Men are from Mars" -- I think you might be able to do a good job and make a shitload of money selling them to the redneck market g I been working on one. I'm trying to decide on the title now... I'm from Earth, Where the fuck are you from? Men are from Mars, Ex-Wives are from Uranus. I'm Ok, but you need professional help. Jeff Wall http://www.twangzine.com The Webs least sucky music magazine 727 Alder Circle - Va Beach, Va - 23462 -(757) 467-3764
Re: Americana guesswork/line-d@#*@
Lianne McNeil wrote: .Sorry Jeff, joking or not, you are just wrong about this. Reading all these anti-line dance rants reminds me of our parents (or grandparents, for some of you) who claimed that rock music was the devil's music. Well, yah. And they were RIGHT! You're sounding like a bunch of narrow-minded fuddy-duddies... well maybe fuddy duddy. Is that so wrong?! Republican, even. Whoa! That's over the line! Although I would now like to take a lot unrelated incidents and weave a complex theory of the line dance conspiracy foisted on an asleep public (WAKE UP, AMERICA!), and why it must be impeached. There are many forms of dance, and only a few of them involve cuddling with your partner or flirting. Those who define dance as only being those dance forms that require a partner have a very limited (and ignorant) view of dancing. Line dancing is similar to Broadway choreography, but whether or not you dance on Broadway has no bearing on the goodness or "badness" of line dance. It's also similar to ethnic folk dance. I suppose you think that those guys dancing in "Fiddler on the Roof" aren't really dancing?! Yes it is similar to ethnic folk dance. In fact it *is* ethnic f*lk dance. And to avoid irritating Jon W., I'll refrain from describing some of the other mores of this particular ethnicity. If you don't see any individual expression/interpretation in line dancing then you need to get out more, or else need to start paying more attention. I'm sure there are some clubs where the dancers perform like robots. But most dancers who have progressed beyond beginner's level tend to dance with "character." This is true, although its pale pale pale (in the polyvalent sense) compared to a bunch a lit up oldsters doin a polka. No matter how advanced they become, the mechanisms still remind of something more appropriate for half-time at the big game vs. State U. The truth about LineDancing ...Is that it became very popular with people who got tired of waiting for partners to ask them to dance. (What a bunch of lamers, those "cowboys" bellied up to the bar!) Now this is true! And it's the real culprit. Stuart remembering being the only--ONLY!--person (except for Nina) dancing in a roomful of hipsters and college students at a Derailers show.