Hey John:
Having been in the same predicament in my early years, I think the term "target" is a vivid and accurate description of your experience. Could you perhaps define this filling that you experienced afterward? It might be that many of us have experienced the same thing but are unable to put a name on it or describe it.
I assume that God is the senior partner?
Yes, God is the senior partner. As so many of these testimonies go, my filling came unexpectedly. After I left the church service, I got in my little Camaro and started down the drive to the main street some 100 years away. I became so overcome with emotion, that I had to pull over and wait. The biblical word is "filling" that is exactly what it was -- I was simply full of emotion. Being macho is or was a big deal to me. Emotions are always resisted. But no more. In fact, I cannot be involved in a song service with any dynamic to it at all without being overcome -- filled . Eph 5:18-19 talks of being filled with the Spirit when we sing and make melody. I believe that tongues is a present time gift, but not for me. Filling, however, is an occurance that is intended for us and happens to more ooften than we know.
there were no lights, no warm feeling, no great sense of peace -- you know, all the things you so often hear (and I am not challenging those things). It was like I had been hit with a ton of bricks -- I am driving, I get emotional, I am overcome with those emotions, I pull over and wait -- spending that time talking with God and things in regard to filling have been different ever since (Dec. 1997 -- almost exactly 40 years after my baptism as a 12 year old, Dec. 27, 1957).
I was one of those guys who thought I needed tongues. I did everything known to modern man to receive that gift. Lance talks about bias and how it relates to what we believe. Well, since not receiving that gift, I look at some scriptures very differently than I used to. Anyway, I don't want to get too wordy. Does his answer your question?
John
