Nina, you know that you are making me cry
even more after reading your email --- I am so grateful of your words –
when you say “It
does her honor to be grieved so greatly.”, that’s exactly what I
wanted to do, but I couldn’t describe it what I am feeling.. I did not
want people to tell me it’s okay, I did my best.. I can learn from this..
or did not want to feel better, because I felt that it lightens the meaning of
her death.. I did not want to feel better, I want to cry and suffer, because I
really need to honor her death.. thank you for saying that --- I don’t
want to move on, or don’t want to feel that it cannot be helped because I
did what I thought it was right.. because… no matter what, I took her
life away and so what I did was not good enough for her.. she could have so
much fun in ahead of her with her brothers and sisters and I took that way. In a way, I want to carry this pain
as long as I live so that I can honor her --- I don’t’ know if it
makes sense.. sometimes, I feel what I do is not good enough as long as there
is a life to suffer.. one too many… if you know what I mean… From:
[EMAIL PROTECTED]
[mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] On
Behalf Of Nina Hideyo, Truth is we don’t know exactly what
would have happened to her, but one thing I know that she did not die when she
did if I did not do what I did.. she looked healthy, I think she just got
chilled because I left a window open a little because Bella was hot ---- I cannot bring her back, but right now I
feel that I need to feel this pain – I keep remembering her little meow
and how I should have just put her back with her mama trust that her mama knows
better than I do.. it’s too much of price to pay.. I had to take her life
away to realize how stupid I am – I am sorry, you guys, I am just so sad
and am just so angry at myself for carelessness and don’t know what to do
and I just miss her so very much.. |
- Re: My Bella's baby died Marylyn
- RE: My Bella's baby died Hideyo Yamamoto
- Re: My Bella's baby died Nina
- Re: My Bella's baby died Barb Moermond
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- Re: My Bella's baby died Gloria B. Lane
- To Hideyo wendy
- RE: My Bella's baby died Hideyo Yamamoto
- Re: My Bella's baby died Lomaxturtle
- RE: My Bella's baby died Hideyo Yamamoto
- RE: My Bella's baby died Barb Moermond
- RE: My Bella's baby died Hideyo Yamamoto
- RE: My Bella's baby died Hideyo Yamamoto
- Re: My Bella's baby died Marylyn
- Re: My Bella's baby died Marylyn
- RE: My Bella's baby died Hideyo Yamamoto
- Re: My Bella's baby died FORGETMENOTPETS
- Re: My Bella's baby died Marylyn