"Lucy Hone" ([EMAIL PROTECTED]) wrote:
.... So to answer your query, we each have our own way that the death of
someone special affects us. I hope, if your query is because of a
personal situation, that you have the love and support of friends, as
that is the key to recovery...looking forward, not back. Breathe and find
someting small each day to be thankful for.
Thanks very much, Lucy - also thanks to Colin for his message yesterday
about "how to deal with grief".
I just wanted to explain: I am not in that situation at the moment, I was
not asking personally how I could deal with it (but your kindness is really
appreciated), I was only making a point about a film, that I felt these
questions were what the film first promised to deal with, but then I was let
down because the answer was yet again the good old hollywood clichi that new
love just turns up when you most need it, and I was just saying from
experience: jolly nice if that happens, but just like with London buses they
either don't turn up for ages, or they all turn up at once, or they are full
and refuse to let you on, or take you in the wrong direction etc... so you'd
better learn to walk or use a bike if you really want to get somewhere!
Sorry if the comparison is a bit frivolous, but I think you know what I
mean...
And of course a lover does not need to die, they can disappear in so many
different ways (ask Paul Simon!) but the grief can be equally overwhelming
if you feel, like Juliet in the film, that you've just lost the best thing
you ever had. I'm sure most of us have gone through that more than once,
and there was a time when I really did not know how to let go - in fact, I
did not want to let go, because I felt that would be a betrayal of the love,
of everything I had felt before, and so like a true artist, I felt I kept
suffering for my art, for my pure raw emotions. I kept the wound fresh,
scratched off the scab, let it bleed for years... I now look back and
wonder why I allowed anything, anybody to take such a large part of my life
away. (I would still have the same reaction, but much much worse, like
instant death, if I ever lost my children, but let's not go there now...)
Sorry, I did not mean to go into this, again I apologise but I don't have
the time to explain or discuss it properly, so I'd better shut up. I just
wanted to say: I was disappointed that Truly Madly Deeply did not give us a
better way out than the hopping man. But if it works for you, hey that's
fine!
Lots of love to you all,
Lieve.
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