Kakki, I wasn't trying to suggest you were being less than
sympathetic. No, I know what you mean. She was old enough to keep
her baby, and in theory there were people who could have helped in a
different way. That's what I meant when I said it ends up being
something in your mind. Something caused her to believe she couldn't
do it, and maybe she was right about herself, or she made it right,
who knows? We can't think ourselves into her position, not exactly.
I suppose in going to the nuns, you go to what you know, even if you
despise it. Maybe they were the ones who put the sense of
worthlessness into her in the first place. I'm guessing wildly here,
because I have no idea, but it wouldn't surprise me. There may even
have been an element of self-punishment in it: I'm not good enough,
I'll give the baby to people who will know I'm not good enough etc.
Odd ideas can lodge in young girls' minds with surprising ferocity,
and they often come out in the first flush of a pregnancy - feelings
of self-disgust, low self-esteem, self-hatred, lack of
self-definition. For that reason, it's important to keep young girls
(boys too, but for other reasons) away from people who will make them
feel inadequate or inferior - and sadly, the Catholic Church has a
reputation for excelling in those areas.
Sarah
At 5:45 PM -0800 02/02/2003, kakki wrote:
. . I have neversat in judgment of Joni for her life experiences. I
know it must have been
heartbreaking because I'm old enough to remember societal mores back then
and the truly helpless position of many women and girls in her situation.
