Re: [TMIC] Thanks to the list/understanding TM
I think we need to be realistic about this. If I had a husband who was disabled I am not sure I would be happy all the time. You can't fully understand anything if you haven't walked in someone else's shoes. Just like anything in life. Everyone is different. Some people can handle it and some can't. Going through 18 months of cancer with my husband was no walk in the park. Not being able to take away his pain and watching him die was way more difficult than TM for me. But I would never have left him and he would have never left me after I got hit with TM. He stepped up to the plate and did all the things I could not do and sometimes I feel like was there something else I could have done for him. It will be three years on April 21 that he died. Life has been quite a journey. But I finally feel like I can go on. So many emotions and changes in the past few years. My Mother-in Law would like me to find someone, but I don't know. Even though I do pretty well, I can't see myself with someone normal. I know they would not understand what I am going through and I don't want to worry about that. Linda in Pa **Need a new ride? Check out the largest site for U.S. used car listings at AOL Autos. (http://autos.aol.com/used?NCID=aolcmp0030002851)
RE: [TMIC] Thanks to the list/understanding TM
I think there is a lot of good information on this site for caretakers. This is exactly why I stay on this list. I also want to thank you all for your responses when I asked about my daughter's sore. It is doing much better since the Dr gave me the antibiotic ointment to put on it. She has been very good about making sure that she treats it two times a day. Also, if I can brag for just a moment, Ashlee got straight A's on this report card. She is on the Distinguished Honor Roll this term!!! Despite what she has been through over the last 3 years with TM, she is still able to get straight A's!!! Tracey L. Black Certified Insurance Service Representative Hockley O'Donnell Insurance Agency Phone - 717-334-6741, x 29 Fax - 717-334-3414 Thank you for providing information to us. Please beware that no coverage is bound and no change to your insurance program is confirmed until verified by a licensed agent during regular business hours. If you do not hear from us within 1 business day, please re-contact us in case your information has not been retained. From: [EMAIL PROTECTED] [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] Sent: Wednesday, April 16, 2008 12:25 AM To: [EMAIL PROTECTED]; tmic-list@eskimo.com Subject: Re: [TMIC] Thanks to the list/understanding TM My Dear Friend Sandy, I think that you are a wonderful partner for Terry. One of the things that makes you this great partner is that you have gotten involved in being a part this group to learn about all the aspects that we TM'ers deal with on a daily basis. That has given you a great deal of insight and I would think has made it easier for you to relate to his issues as a normal part of this. Even though we are all different, in so many ways, we have so many common complaints/problems/residuals, etc. This doesn't in any way mean that you weren't committed to your marriage and wouldn't have done the same thing that you are already doing to make your lives as good as you can now. I think it just means that you have more understanding of what kind of things are going on and that you can also give him feedback from the group. I certainly wish I could get my husband Pete to read some of the messages. He won't, so I stopped pushing. I think it's like therapy, it is for me anyway. I think there is a lot of good information on this site for caretakers. Hugs to you and Terry, Barbara It's Tax Time! Get tips, forms and advice on AOL Money Finance http://money.aol.com/tax?NCID=aolcmp0030002850 .
Re: [TMIC] Thanks to the list/understanding TM
Well tell Ashlee congratulations from us! You are a great mom, keeping up with this list! I am glad her sore is getting better. That is good news! Jenna - Original Message From: Tracey L. Black [EMAIL PROTECTED] To: [EMAIL PROTECTED]; [EMAIL PROTECTED]; tmic-list@eskimo.com Sent: Wednesday, April 16, 2008 9:49:15 AM Subject: RE: [TMIC] Thanks to the list/understanding TM I think there is a lot of good information on this site for caretakers. This is exactly why I stay on this list. I also want to thank you all for your responses when I asked about my daughter's sore. It is doing much better since the Dr gave me the antibiotic ointment to put on it. She has been very good about making sure that she treats it two times a day. Also, if I can brag for just a moment, Ashlee got straight A's on this report card. She is on the Distinguished Honor Roll this term!!! Despite what she has been through over the last 3 years with TM, she is still able to get straight A's!!! Tracey L. Black Certified Insurance Service Representative Hockley O'Donnell Insurance Agency Phone - 717-334-6741, x 29 Fax - 717-334-3414 Thank you for providing information to us. Please beware that no coverage is bound and no change to your insurance program is confirmed until verified by a licensed agent during regular business hours. If you do not hear from us within 1 business day, please re-contact us in case your information has not been retained. From: [EMAIL PROTECTED] [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] Sent: Wednesday, April 16, 2008 12:25 AM To: [EMAIL PROTECTED]; tmic-list@eskimo.com Subject: Re: [TMIC] Thanks to the list/understanding TM My Dear Friend Sandy, I think that you are a wonderful partner for Terry. One of the things that makes you this great partner is that you have gotten involved in being a part this group to learn about all the aspects that we TM'ers deal with on a daily basis. That has given you a great deal of insight and I would think has made it easier for you to relate to his issues as a normal part of this. Even though we are all different, in so many ways, we have so many common complaints/problems/residuals, etc. This doesn't in any way mean that you weren't committed to your marriage and wouldn't have done the same thing that you are already doing to make your lives as good as you can now. I think it just means that you have more understanding of what kind of things are going on and that you can also give him feedback from the group. I certainly wish I could get my husband Pete to read some of the messages. He won't, so I stopped pushing. I think it's like therapy, it is for me anyway. I think there is a lot of good information on this site for caretakers. Hugs to you and Terry, Barbara It's Tax Time! Get tips, forms and advice on AOL Money Finance. Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now. http://mobile.yahoo.com/;_ylt=Ahu06i62sR8HDtDypao8Wcj9tAcJ
Re: [TMIC] Thanks to the list/understanding TM
My Dear Friends, Thanks to all of you for your kind words. Thank you to the fellow caregivers who are committed to helping their spouses/sig others to have a better quality of life, for being in their lives and staying put!Aren't relationships suppose to be 50/50??? I am sorry for those that aren't. Terry gives so much to me; why would I not give so much in return? Some of you old timers (on this site), know there have been struggles with this life and Terry's TM. But, obviously nothing insurmountable. I will say that I was SO PISSED OFF (can I say that here?) at his wheelchair initially. I took my anger out on his wheelchair every time I had to get it in or out of the trunk of my car. I would cuss that SOB, (can I say that here?) out! I hated it! That's what I hated! I didn't hate the damn (can I say that here?) TM. I hated that damn (can I say that here?) wheelchair! That rigid piece of crap, (can I say that here)? I can actually feel my anger right now as I write this. However, I feel it with a smile on my face as that was so very long ago. TM has allowed me to grow and become a better person. It's OK now and he has a great wheelchair that's very easy to get in/out of the car. One flip of the backrest and I grab it and swing it into the back of the little (non gas guzzler), SUV. (OK, so I rambled)... Aloha for now, my friends! Sandy **Need a new ride? Check out the largest site for U.S. used car listings at AOL Autos. (http://autos.aol.com/used?NCID=aolcmp0030002851)
Re: [TMIC] Thanks to the list/understanding TM
Don't get me wrong, my husband Pete is supportive and very helpful. Heck, I've kind of got it made these days. He just retired, and makes my coffee and breakfast, and at night, brings me my capucchino at night. Not too shabby. However, I feel that all of us can benefit from some therapy dealing with something like this. That's not something he feels is necessary. He rarely vents, but it's very apparent, especially now that he's retired, that our lives are not what we expected and planned what they would have been like when retirement came around. I hibernate in the winter, and I live in California where it doesn't usually get below 50 degrees during the day. The cold feels like it goes to my bones, which I know isn't the way it is, it's the nerves that are reacting to it. They get that way even though it's not cold in the house. I think it's the barometric pressure that actually affects them. He hates that I hardly will go out of the house, so he gets cranky sometimes. That is all he usually does. He probably mutters other things that I don't hear too. I hope he does, he has to get it out sometime. I just wish that he'd talk to somebody about his feelings. It's just not something he was exposed to growing up, so he's not comfortable doing it with other people. Hugs, Barbara A **Need a new ride? Check out the largest site for U.S. used car listings at AOL Autos. (http://autos.aol.com/used?NCID=aolcmp0030002851)
RE: [TMIC] Thanks to the list.
Has anyone ever figured out how to make non TM'rs understand what we go thru 24/7. If so plase sare the secret! Rob From: [EMAIL PROTECTED] [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] Sent: Tuesday, April 15, 2008 3:30 PM To: Robert Pall Subject: Re: [TMIC] Thanks to the list. Rob, That's the best thing about this list.Everyone knows how it feels to have tm;it's not something that a regular person understands. Cheryl in Easthampton,Mass. Robert Pall [EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote: I would just like to thank all of the people on the list who responded to me in the past few weeks. It helped me thru a difficult time! I have been married for 38+ years and my wife has no idea what I go through on a daily basisnor do my children, my relatives and my friends. Only the people on the list truly understand what it is like to get sick and never get better! Only the people on the list relate to terms such as banding, pins needles, freezing/burning etc. Only the people who have TM can truly relate to TM and how (in my case) in just a few hours my life changed for the worse. I am sorry I and all of you have TM...but I am extremely grateful for the people on the list who always find the time to help! THANK YOU ALL! Rob in New Jersey between -00-00 and -99-99
Re: [TMIC] Thanks to the list/understanding TM
I don't have TM, my husband does, (8 years now). Therefore, I will try to speak from the standpoint of understanding. However, I don't FEEL his pain, but I SYMPATHIZE with his pain. I sympathize with; his daily issues, his paralysis, his complaints, his clonus, his feeling of inadequacies, his feelings of frustration and pain over sexual dysfunction and bladder dysfunction, his loss of his past life and of OUR past lives. I LISTEN to him. I AM THERE FOR HIM. I encourage him, I apologize for his pain and anything that will make him understand that I UNDERSTAND to a degree. But, I don't think anyone can FULLY understand unless they have TM. He knows I understand more about TM than many. But, as they say, unless you can walk the walk.. I, more than likely, will never walk that walk. I love him, I am committed to him and I will continue to do my best to understand TM thru his eyes. He is very detail oriented about it - so that in itself, helps me understand better. Anyone with a disease such as TM, needs someone to listen to them with compassion in their heart. I will always do my best to be that person. Sandy Parker Has anyone ever figured out how to make non TM'rs understand what we go thru 24/7. If so plase sare the secret! -Original Message- From: Robert Pall [EMAIL PROTECTED] To: [EMAIL PROTECTED]; tmic-list@eskimo.com Sent: Tue, 15 Apr 2008 12:36 pm Subject: RE: [TMIC] Thanks to the list. Has anyone ever figured out how to make non TM'rs understand what we go thru 24/7. If so plase sare the secret! Rob From: [EMAIL PROTECTED] [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] Sent: Tuesday, April 15, 2008 3:30 PM To: Robert Pall Subject: Re: [TMIC] Thanks to the list. Rob, That's the best thing about this list.Everyone knows how it feels to have tm;it's not something that a regular person understands. Cheryl in Easthampton,Mass. Robert Pall [EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote: I would just like to thank all of the people on the list who responded to me in the past few weeks. It helped me thru a difficult time! I have been married for 38+ years and my wife has no idea what I go through on a daily basis….nor do my children, my relatives and my friends. Only the people on the list truly understand what it is like to get sick and never get better! Only the people on the list relate to terms such as banding, pins needles, freezing/burning etc. Only the people who have TM can truly relate to TM and how (in my case) in just a few hours my life changed for the worse. I am sorry I and all of you have TM…but I am extremely grateful for the people on the list who always find the time to help! THANK YOU ALL! Rob in New Jersey between -00-00 and -99-99
Re: [TMIC] Thanks to the list/understanding TM
Sandy, I have been amazed that you have kept up with all of us as if you were the one with TM. I know you care about us and keep up with our struggles and acomplishments so I can only imagine how supportive you have been for Terry. You're fortunate to have each other. Patti - Michigan [EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote: I don't have TM, my husband does, (8 years now). Therefore, I will try to speak from the standpoint of understanding. However, I don't FEEL his pain, but I SYMPATHIZE with his pain. I sympathize with; his daily issues, his paralysis, his complaints, his clonus, his feeling of inadequacies, his feelings of frustration and pain over sexual dysfunction and bladder dysfunction, his loss of his past life and of OUR past lives. I LISTEN to him. I AM THERE FOR HIM. I encourage him, I apologize for his pain and anything that will make him understand that I UNDERSTAND to a degree. But, I don't think anyone can FULLY understand unless they have TM. He knows I understand more about TM than many. But, as they say, unless you can walk the walk.. I, more than likely, will never walk that walk. I love him, I am committed to him and I will continue to do my best to understand TM thru his eyes. He is very detail oriented about it - so that in itself, helps me understand better. Anyone with a disease such as TM, needs someone to listen to them with compassion in their heart. I will always do my best to be that person. Sandy Parker Has anyone ever figured out how to make non TM'rs understand what we go thru 24/7. If so plase sare the secret! -Original Message- From: Robert Pall [EMAIL PROTECTED] To: [EMAIL PROTECTED]; tmic-list@eskimo.com Sent: Tue, 15 Apr 2008 12:36 pm Subject: RE: [TMIC] Thanks to the list. Has anyone ever figured out how to make non TM'rs understand what we go thru 24/7. If so plase sare the secret! Rob From: [EMAIL PROTECTED] [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] Sent: Tuesday, April 15, 2008 3:30 PM To: Robert Pall Subject: Re: [TMIC] Thanks to the list. Rob, That's the best thing about this list.Everyone knows how it feels to have tm;it's not something that a regular person understands. Cheryl in Easthampton,Mass. Robert Pall [EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote: I would just like to thank all of the people on the list who responded to me in the past few weeks. It helped me thru a difficult time! I have been married for 38+ years and my wife has no idea what I go through on a daily basis….nor do my children, my relatives and my friends. Only the people on the list truly understand what it is like to get sick and never get better! Only the people on the list relate to terms such as banding, pins needles, freezing/burning etc. Only the people who have TM can truly relate to TM and how (in my case) in just a few hours my life changed for the worse. I am sorry I and all of you have TM…but I am extremely grateful for the people on the list who always find the time to help! THANK YOU ALL! Rob in New Jersey between -00-00 and -99-99
RE: [TMIC] Thanks to the list.
I think a person will only understand as much as they want to put into the trying. They can research and learn, ask questions and wait for the answers, be sympathetic, remove obstacles, and soften our fall, but they have to want to or we're going to end up spending our own energy trying to teach them. We all get tired of TM and TM makes us all tired! However, it's Spring in Michigan and today that's enough for me! Patti - Robert Pall [EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote: Has anyone ever figured out how to make non TM'rs understand what we go thru 24/7. If so plase sare the secret! Rob From: [EMAIL PROTECTED] [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] Sent: Tuesday, April 15, 2008 3:30 PM To: Robert Pall Subject: Re: [TMIC] Thanks to the list. Rob, That's the best thing about this list.Everyone knows how it feels to have tm;it's not something that a regular person understands. Cheryl in Easthampton,Mass. Robert Pall [EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote: I would just like to thank all of the people on the list who responded to me in the past few weeks. It helped me thru a difficult time! I have been married for 38+ years and my wife has no idea what I go through on a daily basisnor do my children, my relatives and my friends. Only the people on the list truly understand what it is like to get sick and never get better! Only the people on the list relate to terms such as banding, pins needles, freezing/burning etc. Only the people who have TM can truly relate to TM and how (in my case) in just a few hours my life changed for the worse. I am sorry I and all of you have TM...but I am extremely grateful for the people on the list who always find the time to help! THANK YOU ALL! Rob in New Jersey between -00-00 and -99-99
Re: [TMIC] Thanks to the list/understanding TM
My Dear Friend Sandy, I think that you are a wonderful partner for Terry. One of the things that makes you this great partner is that you have gotten involved in being a part this group to learn about all the aspects that we TM'ers deal with on a daily basis. That has given you a great deal of insight and I would think has made it easier for you to relate to his issues as a normal part of this. Even though we are all different, in so many ways, we have so many common complaints/problems/residuals, etc. This doesn't in any way mean that you weren't committed to your marriage and wouldn't have done the same thing that you are already doing to make your lives as good as you can now. I think it just means that you have more understanding of what kind of things are going on and that you can also give him feedback from the group. I certainly wish I could get my husband Pete to read some of the messages. He won't, so I stopped pushing. I think it's like therapy, it is for me anyway. I think there is a lot of good information on this site for caretakers. Hugs to you and Terry, Barbara **It's Tax Time! Get tips, forms and advice on AOL Money Finance. (http://money.aol.com/tax?NCID=aolcmp0030002850)
