Gee Faith, you ain't dumb a'tall !
Bravo.
Ode
At 01:07 PM 11/8/2007 -0500, you wrote:
I have dictionaries of my own and I know how to use them. Of course the
Golden Rule is wonderful , but then it can be twisted out of recognition
when altered to fit [self] indulgent demands.
Faith G
----- Original Message ----- From: "Clayton Family" <clay...@skypoint.com>
To: <silver-list@eskimo.com>
Sent: Thursday, November 08, 2007 12:45 PM
Subject: Re: CS>civility
Every elder member of my family would not agree that everyone has the
right to be rude to others. The basis of civilization is civility:
World Book Dictionary:
civility, noun, pl. -ties.
1. polite behavior; courtesy; consideration.
Ex. Thank you for your civility in replying to my letter so promptly.
(SYN) politeness.
2. an act or expression of politeness or courtesy.
3. (Archaic.) the state of being civilized; freedom from barbarity;
civilization.
4. (Archaic.) a. polite or liberal education; training in the
humanities.
b. good breeding; culture; refinement.
civilization, noun.
1. civilized condition; advanced stage in social development.
This has nothing to do with anyone's emotions: rather, it depends on us
to try to restrain our emotions to avoid putting an unnecessary burden
on others. There are many ways to state a point of view, and being
considerate of another person is our duty as a citizen.
Having a spirited debate does not mean dumping on people. Feeling
passionate about a subject demands that we be even more vigilant
concerning our words, it does not excuse us from being polite, good
citizens. When one speaks about personal responsibility, it begins with
our own thoughts and words. It is generally assumed that in a polite
gathering, one is not bent on offending others. It becomes those
listening to assume that no offense is intended, and to look for the
meaning behind the words, ie, what the person is really trying to say.
It became quite clear over the course of the conversation that Simon
had no concern for the feelings of others- in other words, he was not
behaving in a civilized fashion, by the above definition. I thought he
said that he is who he is, and whoever does not like it can lump it,
even the list owner. That is why he got bounced.
Not everyone has the background to accept criticism and verbal abuse.
Especially not the weak and ill, and especially when they are coming to
this group specifically FOR help.
As my dear Grandmother used to say "When in doubt, apply the Golden
Rule."
Kathryn
On Nov 8, 2007, at 8:05 AM, faith gagne wrote:
I do not agree at all. I do not demand that others treat me exactly the
way I need to be treated in order for me to feel good about myself. This
places quite a burden on friends, neighbors and the entire world, and it
does not require me to make any effort at all to understand where other
people are coming from.
To insist that all others dance in attendance to my emotional wants and
needs places a HUGE demand on the rest of the world. To automatically
assume that the other person sees me as dumb is a construct of my own
thinking designed to keep my demands in place and up front. Nobody
lives between my ears but me. I'm in there all by myself so I cannot
blame other people for what emerges from my own thinking..
I may not always agree with what the other person has to say and I may
not even like what the other person has to say, but I'd damned well
better love their RIGHT to say it because I cannot muzzle the next guy
without muzzling myself at the same time.
We cause as much pain in the world when we take offense as when we give it.
Faith G
----- Original Message -----
From: Dee
To: silver-list@eskimo.com
Sent: Thursday, November 08, 2007 8:22 AM
Subject: Re: CS>Simon aka Charles is gone...
I agree totally with you Mary Ann, civility costs nothing and it is
surely a positive thing to make people feel good rather than the
opposite, no matter how clever one may think one is, or how dumb one may
think the other person is! Dee
-------Original Message-------
From: marmar...@bellsouth.net
Date: 07/11/2007 17:43:08
To: silver-list@eskimo.com
Subject: CS>Simon aka Charles is gone...
**** Boy -- I've got to respectfully disagree with this Mike. And pardon
me for speaking out --I've been sitting on my hands thinking that I
should be the one to be silent now. But that's what's wrong with our
world -- the ones who object remain silent. The measure of any group of
people in society -- cyber-society included -- is the level of behavior
of the least of that society. If it is required of polite people to
become thick-skinned and tolerate bad behavior, then everyone loses
because as we become that way we also become insensitive to our own
behavior towards others. Isn't that a slippery slope?
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