>> I didn't say the man wasn't at fault, just that the two women aren't blameless either.
> I am sorry lowell but how is it the woman's fault? She should have known better as well but that still does not make the man commit adultery.
Each individual person involved in the triangle is absolutely responsible for his/her bad actions. However, each individual also bears responsibility for those actions he/she takes that increase the likelihood of bad actions taking place. IIRC the discussion preceding my answer to Jackie, "Jackie" increased the likelihood that "Tom" would cheat by mistreating him, while "Jen" increased it by actively seducing him. I'm not at all saying that either excuses him, because it doesn't, but it does help explain why things happened.
> If a woman is laying out in her backyard and you happen to look out and see her is it the woman's fault that you decided to stare?
No. (This, of course, is how David started lusting after Bathsheba.) The woman, however, might bear some responsibility if she failed to check the sight lines before deciding to lay out. Did she really have a reasonable expectation of privacy? (Gee, I'm not a lawyer, but I can sure sound like one sometimes!)
> You could have told yourself no and walked back inside. Granted human nature might get you to a point to come to a crossroad but the option to say no is still always present.
I believe "always" is too strong here, that "usually" is more appropriate. Some circumstances really can remove a person's ability to say no (though from the religious standpoint I believe that won't happen to Christians under temptation).
Best wishes,
Lowell
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