...Maashaallah very wise words...
 
Barakallahu fiik

j786SURAH22

--- On Sat, 9/20/08, [EMAIL PROTECTED] <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote:

From: [EMAIL PROTECTED] <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
Subject: Bismillah [IslamCity] Re: Proper ruling on multiple marriages
To: "eGroup For Muslims Around The World" <islamcity@yahoogroups.com>
Date: Saturday, September 20, 2008, 12:36 AM







wayaki. The husband cannot refuse to take care of his wife regardless of having 
a job or even being a millionaire. If she was a millionaire and she wanted him 
to take care of her financially then he HAS to do that. It is her right and it 
is one of the conditions of getting married. The Prophet (sallallahu alayhi 
wassalam) said to get married and if you cannot afford to then fast because 
fasting decreases the sexual desire. 
 
You shouldn't says "insha'allah" with her not marrying again. She should marry 
again if she can find a good brother. There was a sister that was divorced 11 
times within one community, but that didn't make her give up on marriage. Don't 
blame the institution of marriage because of the people. Blame the people who 
make marriage a bad thing. It is your duty to find out everything before 
marrying someone instead of rushing in and then blaming islam or marriage 
because that bad person.
 
The ones who went to marry non-muslim men, didn't marry anyone but are living a 
life of adultery. Their marriage to non-muslims doesn't count and is invalid so 
their life is of that an adulterous woman. Any children they have will be 
illegitimate children. She is committing many major sins with such union. It 
would have been better for to get married and get divorced so many times than 
to be married to a kaffir. She would atleast be married islamicly and divorced 
islamicly and would not be committing any major sin (especially zina) and she 
would be compensated in her akhirah for all her suffering.
 
It is very important for women (and men too, but especially women) to do a 
proper research on the guy before marrying. Just because he has a beard, prays 
in the  masjid, talks with islamic words all the time, it doesn't mean he is 
religious or will be a good husband. Don't be fooled by things that can be used 
to fool someone. If you are not a good judge of character then find someone 
people who are and then have them with you when you meet the person, and meet 
him (or her) several times. Many times people don't do their part of proper 
investigation and then blame the wrong things (like Islam or marriage). The 
sisters who reverted to Islam, need to be extra careful since they are usually 
high on faith and believe the other person to be good like themselves so they 
don't do deep investigation. 
 
p.s. If you don't know already, the number 786 doesn't mean "Bismillah" like 
what many desis believe.
 

Re: Proper ruling on multiple marriages 
Posted by: "J M" J M   jmugh786 
Thu Sep 18, 2008 4:11 pm (PDT) 
Jazak'Allaahao Khayran brother....you were specific.... .quite detailed.... you 
100% answered my questions.€ ¦  I believe that you were the only one to provide 
the exact response that I needed....
€ ¦ 
In regards to the "walk away" phrase--it€ ¦ makes reference€ ¦ to the request 
for the khulu because the "brother" is financially secure€ ¦ and refused to 
support his most recent€ ¦ wife because€ ¦ she is educated.€ ¦  He even refused 
to buy her a cup of coffee!€ ¦  € ¦ (Alhamdullilah, the imam granted her 
request last Monday for€ ¦ the khulu because her ex-husband€ ¦ was requesting 
for her to return the cost of her ring ($800) and additional monies totalling 
over $1500 (which she doesn't have).€ ¦  The ring was part of the agreement as 
her only request as€ ¦ her mahr because she thought he€ ¦ was not financially 
capable of more.€ ¦  He knew that she was unemployed and had promised to take 
care of her and her children until she found a job; but he went on to marry 
another sister who€ ¦ is supporting him.€ ¦  Nevertheless, he did leave a 
couple of€ ¦ his other wives
 financially secure (while the others,€ ¦ he simply walked away from the 
marriages).€ ¦  
€ ¦ 
This is the sister's second failed marriage, and Inshaallah, she hopes to never 
marry again.€ ¦  Other€ ¦ divorced sisters that she knew all went on to remain 
single or did marry non-Muslim men.
€ ¦ 
Inshaallah she will be able to find a job and be able to take care of her 
children.
€ ¦ 
Waa'Salaam Alaaikum brother

j786SURAH22

--- On Fri, 9/12/08, [EMAIL PROTECTED] com <[EMAIL PROTECTED] com> wrote:

From: [EMAIL PROTECTED] com <[EMAIL PROTECTED] com>
Subject: Bismillah [IslamCity] Re: Proper ruling on multiple marriages
To: "eGroup For Muslims Around The World" <[EMAIL PROTECTED] ps.com>
Date: Friday, September 12, 2008, 8:01 PM

As-Salaamu 'Alaykum,
€ ¦ 
I think I will have to answer these questions because of what is coming up 
afterwards.. . so my answers are below after the questions in red colored text.
€ ¦ 
wa'l salaamu alaykum
€ ¦ 

Re: Proper ruling on multiple marriages 
From: J M 
Sent: Sunday, September 07, 2008 3:36 AM
Subject: Proper ruling on multiple marriages

Asalamalaikum waa'rahmatullah waa'barakatuhu,

1. What is the proper ruling on multiple marriages? A man is allowed to marry 
up to four woman maximum, IF he can give them their rights and if he cannot 
then he is not allowed to marry more. Some of their (wives') rights are equal 
spending on each, equal time shared, equal treatment, their private residence 
(unless they agree to share one residence, but still then private rooms 
minimum). 

2. Can the man marry more than one woman at a time, and not inform the wives of 
each other? Yes he can, but it would better for him and them that he informs 
and talks with them first. It part of kind treatment that he talks his wife 
first to make it easier for her.

3. Can the woman seek khulu (without his permission to accept her decision to 
divorce) if she did not consent to a polygamous marriage or informed of other 
wives before she married the man? That depends on what took place before 
marriage. Did she ask him if he was single or did he state he was single? If he 
deceived her with his lieings then she has a valid reason for khula. You might 
have heard of a virginity case in france where the woman said she was chaste 
(virgin) before marrying the man but afterwards it was revealed that she lied 
so he took her to the court for a divorce and the french court granted on the 
premise of lieing of a condition (virginity) that was met to be married.

4. Can she walk away from the marriage where there has been deceit and 
non-financial support of her? What is walk away? just leave? she is still his 
wife and until there is a divorce or a khula, she remains his wife. If she is 
silent€ ¦ about€ ¦ it then she accepted it, so cannot just walk away. If she is 
ok with it then she has to ask for her rights.

I know what is Sunnah but some brothers have made mutaa marriages commonplace. 
Mutaa marriage of any kind is forbidden in Islam!€ ¦ There are other marriages, 
similar to mutah marriage, in egypt that is practiced and it is even worse than 
muta marriage because it is nothing but a front for a summer fling. The 
scholars of egypt have even spoken against this. 

Waa'Salaam

j786SURAH22 
 














      

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