---------------------------------
[30] More from Bobby C
---------------------------------
Posted Wednesday, May 23, 2001 by bar-knee:
Everytime the PLC want to calm the fans down they wheel out Bobby. Do you not think
we've seen through this tactic by now? And shame on him for seemingly falling for it.
Sir Bobby Charlton:
'I don't think Alex has been mistreated. He's a sensible lad and he seems to be
satisfied with every contract he's signed during his time here."
Er, is that why he contemplated leaving once before over that issue.
"I'm confident he will be manager next season and stay on after that.
We all want Alex to stay and we will do the best to make sure he
does. Everyone has the greatest respect for his work at Old Trafford.
We have the basis for a great team again and a signing such as Ruud
van Nistelrooy gives a boost to everyone. If Alex wants some more signings, we will
do our best to give them to him. He'd love to win the European Cup in his last
season. But we're a plc and can't throw money around. Alex understands that.
There is more than enough for both of us to do"
---------------------------------
[29] No Busby syndrome at Bayern
---------------------------------
Posted Wednesday, May 23, 2001 by bar-knee:
Ottmar Hitzfeld:
"Having heroes for directors is no problem. At least, no special problem. The
situation is the same no matter who is the president. If you win matches and reach
European finals, everyone is happy. If you lose matches, you leave. At least if you
have football men in charge, they understand the game and you have the option of
someone to talk to if you need some sensible advice or a fresh point of view."
PLC, take note.
---------------------------------
[28] A non hair story about Becks
---------------------------------
Posted Wednesday, May 23, 2001 by bar-knee:
>From MEN
'TOP fund-raiser Natasha Evans was well prepared when she got the
chance to meet David Beckham. The reigning Greater Manchester Young Citizen of the
Year teamed up with the Reds star to back the police search for new finalists. But
after posing for pictures with her football hero, 15-year-old Natasha boldly gave him
a bag full of memorabilia to sign for charity.
``When my friends heard I was meeting David Beckham,'' she said, ``they all started
giving me books and shirts to ask him to sign. I told them I would - but only if they
gave me a donation for charity.
``It was an opportunity not to be missed. I also took some things
myself, which I'll now be able to auction or raffle to raise money. David was more
than pleased to help. He was very down-to-earth and friendly. I told him I was doing
a parachute jump for charity and he was amazed - he said he wouldn't dare do that in a
million years. It was fantastic to get the chance to meet him - yet another great
opportunity I'd never have had but for winning the award.''
Greater Manchester Police Young Citizen of the Year Awards aim to acknowledge the
selfless work from youngsters throughout the region and reward them for their
commitment and dedication.'
---------------------------------
[27] Phil Neville speaks
---------------------------------
Posted Wednesday, May 23, 2001 by bar-knee:
"The way we ended the season on Saturday with another defeat was disappointing to us
as players and I am sure to the supporters. We have now been defeated three times in
our last three games.
Since we won the Championship we have certainly taken our foot off
the pedal, which has shown in our performances over the last month.
There has been no edge to our game and I think that everyone is glad
that the season is finally over and we can rest in preparation for
the forthcoming international games.
It was great to be named in the England squad on Sunday. With my
brother Gary being injured and not available, there is definitely an
opening in the team at right-back. Having played the last six games
for United I am going into the next two England games fully fit and
full of confidence.
There has been a lot of speculation over the last few days concerning
the management of the club. As a player you have just got to
concentrate on the playing side and ignore what is happening around
you.
>From my point of view, I hope that Alex Ferguson will be the
Manchester United manager next year. He has been a great help to me
throughout my career and I couldn't imagine him leaving under these
circumstances."
---------------------------------
[26] Larsson - don't leave for United Martin
---------------------------------
Posted Wednesday, May 23, 2001 by bar-knee:
Celtic striker Henrik Larsson
"I don't know what's happening. You'll have to ask him because I really don't know.
You all know what I think about leaving this club for a move to England. I'm happy
here, but it's up to him. But of course I want him to stay because he's done a
tremendous job at Celtic so far. When you do well there's always going to be
speculation about him and the backroom staff he's brought in as well. But this is a
big club with 60,000 fans every week and 50,000 season ticket holders and I don't know
if there's a bigger club than that in the world."
Well, one we can think of.
---------------------------------
[25] Teddy to decide at weekend
---------------------------------
Posted Wednesday, May 23, 2001 by bar-knee:
Looks like Spurs
>From PA
'Teddy Sheringham could announce by the weekend whether he will stay
at Manchester United or re-join Tottenham. Sheringham is weighing up rival offers from
both clubs and could make an announcement following England's friendly against Mexico
on Friday.
Sheringham's agent Barry Nevill said: "There might be something by the weekend, but at
the moment nothing has been agreed and he's still a
Manchester United player."
---------------------------------
[24] You know the world is mad
---------------------------------
Posted Wednesday, May 23, 2001 by bar-knee:
When the FA have to make a statement about Beckham's haircut.
"David Beckham's haircut is a matter for him and him alone".
Wow.
---------------------------------
[23] Scousers continue to get giddy
---------------------------------
Posted Wednesday, May 23, 2001 by bar-knee:
Jamie Carragher:
"The way we came through games to take the trophies, even against Arsenal, made it
special with winning through late goals like we did. But we all know we've got to
start doing a bit more in the league. That's what we really want to get - a league
title. We'd love to do that. Can we challenge Manchester United for the title next
season? I think we've got the players. I think we've had the players for a good few
years but it's obtaining that winning mentality. Now we've got that first couple of
trophies, that might give us a bit more belief to go on from there. I think we can do
that. We are a young team. I know the gaffer (Gerard Houllier) keeps saying it but we
need to mature and we have to not make so many mistakes. That cost us in the early
part of the season and especially away from home. If we can eradicate that for next
season then we'll be in with a shout."
---------------------------------
[22] Teletext letters
---------------------------------
Posted Wednesday, May 23, 2001 by bar-knee:
Page 485 of Teletext
Great way of describing Liverpool's achievements this season.
"They beat a division one side to win the tinpot cup, got totally outplayed by Arsenal
and beat a pub side with 9 men. Hardly the stuff of legends is it!"
Thanks to Stu for spotting that.
---------------------------------
[21] More from Jordan
---------------------------------
Posted Wednesday, May 23, 2001 by bar-knee:
"I know it will take a big swing to win the seat, but there's no
bigger swinger than me".
---------------------------------
[20] Spursweb on Teddy
---------------------------------
Posted Wednesday, May 23, 2001 by bar-knee:
'TEDDY SHERINGHAM will pick up around £35,000 a week when he signs for
Spurs on July 1. The Manchester United striker is available on a Bosman free transfer
and has made up his mind to return to White Hart Lane. Sheri, 35, has agreed a
two-year deal with Spurs manager Glenn
Hoddle, who sees his experience as crucial to bringing on youngsters in his squad.
The England striker was offered a new one-year deal to extend his stay with the Old
Trafford club but Tottenham easily beat their pay offer. '
---------------------------------
[19] Leeds fans unhappy with possible move
---------------------------------
Posted Wednesday, May 23, 2001 by bar-knee:
"Our reaction is one of shock and surprise," Ray Fell, chairman of the Leeds United
Supporters Club, told the Yorkshire Post on hearing of a possible new ground.
"Elland Road is synonymous with Leeds United Football Club and it would be a great
shame to throw away all that tradition. There needs to be a convincing argument as to
why we have to move. The danger here is that a lot of supporters could lose the habit
of attending games if they have to travel further afield."
What, become even more part-timers than they already are?!
---------------------------------
[18] Jordan to stand for erection, sorry, election
---------------------------------
Posted Wednesday, May 23, 2001 by bar-knee:
>From Reuters
'Topless model Jordan, girlfriend of Manchester United soccer star Dwight Yorke, is to
stand as a candidate in the general election. Jordan, whose election slogan is "For a
Bigger, Betta Future", will stand as an independent candidate for the Stretford and
Urmston seat, according to the Daily Star that is sponsoring her campaign.
"I love Manchester United and I know just how popular Dwight and the club is in this
constituency. But it's not just the Manchester United supporters I will be aiming my
campaign towards. My message is simple and clear -- I'm big in modelling, big in
ambition and aim to be even bigger in politics."
'Jordan, who is standing under her real name Katie Price for the June 7 poll, is
unlikely to be much of a threat, however. Labour's Beverly Hughes won the seat in 1997
with a majority of almost 14,000.'
---------------------------------
[17] More from the tabloids
---------------------------------
Posted Wednesday, May 23, 2001 by bar-knee:
The Mirror suggests that Boro have come in with a late offer to tempt Steve McClaren
as manager and that the moment city knew they had to get rid of Joe Royle was when, on
a fact finding mission to Highbury, David Bernstein asked how Wenger coped with
drinkers at Arse. Wenger said: 'What drinking? We have no drinking at this club!".
---------------------------------
[16] Tabloids, tabloids
---------------------------------
Posted Wednesday, May 23, 2001 by bar-knee:
Worst headline of the day?
The SUN picturing Becks' new mohican haircut and asking 'Should Beckham captain
England like this?'. Oh behave - they do like making Becks into a crisis don't they.
SUN also reports that Spurs will sign a deal with Teddy - on £35,000 a week - on July
1st for two years. Is that why the Spurs fans didn't boo him this time round on
Saturday?
---------------------------------
[15] Do you wonder why Dwight - looks like he's going
---------------------------------
Posted Wednesday, May 23, 2001 by bar-knee:
Neil Custis of the SUN - a close contact of Dwight Yorke - reports on the back page
('Yorke faces Fergie axe') that 'Dwight Yorke's future at Manchester United hangs in
the balance after a bust-up with boss Alex Ferguson', in which he confirms that Dwight
was dropped from Spurs for his late night jaunt in Scotland in which his mate was
arrested for drink driving.
Custis also says that Fergie hasn't spoken to Dwight for 8 days. Newcastle and Chelsea
are ready to make offers.
If that is Dwight's side of the story it doesn't show him in too kind a light. Then to
the Daily Mirror. He's in Monte Carlo with Jordan for those glitzy and tosh sports
awards. In the populist 3am section of the paper a quite amazing conversation between
their reporter, Jordan and Dwight is recorded.
In which Dwight asks if the reporter fancies a threesome, with Jordan saying she knows
'he sleeps around'.
It doesn't portray either of the couple in a decent light, but it's pre-season you may
ask so why shouldn't he let his hair down you may ask.
Well even most of our fantasies involving what we'd do in a similar lifestyle aren't
quite as far-fetched as what Dwight has got up to this season, he has failed to buckle
down time and time again and when his career at OT looks as close to being over as it
can be, he seems more on a self OT career destruct mission than ever. And not
forgetting that he has crucial T&T matches coming up.
Hate to say it, but now isn't the time to recall those great 1999 memories, that Arse
hat-trick (not forsaking some woeful displays this season) but to wonder just why
Dwight seemed to want to throw it all away for an off field mission he'll have the
rest of his life to persue.
---------------------------------
[14] Nedved to stay in Italy
---------------------------------
Posted Wednesday, May 23, 2001 by bar-knee:
Damn.
Lazio's general director Massimo Cragnotti said of a new deal to be signed this week:
"We are discussing and we're close. We won't let a player like Pavel leave the side".
---------------------------------
[13] New Utd starlet unhappy
---------------------------------
Posted Wednesday, May 23, 2001 by bar-knee:
>From Ananova
'Manchester United youngster Bojan Djordjic has expressed his disbelief at being left
out of Sweden's Under-21 squad. Under-21 coach Goran Goransson has chosen not to call
him into the Sweden squad for next month's matches against Moldova and Slovakia.
"One reason why I haven't picked him is because I haven't seen him," said Goransson.
But Djordjic countered: "My results speak for themselves and I think that at least 90%
support my being in the team. I play in a club with lots of world-class players and
who else plays in a team like this when they're 19? When you know that something's
going to happen you're not disappointed. But something has gone wrong in Swedish
football when you can compare Manchester United with GIF Sundsvall, IFK Norrkoping and
all the other Swedish teams.
Is there any Beckham, Keane or Giggs in GIF Sundsvall? Why do they only look at teams
in Allsvenskan? I don't know why I wasn't picked. Maybe people are afraid because I
have good self-belief. It's the way I am and in England you have to trample on people
to succeed. It's completely different compared with Sweden."
---------------------------------
[12] Thornley to leave Huddersfield
---------------------------------
Posted Wednesday, May 23, 2001 by bar-knee:
Ben Thornley is to leave Huddersfield.
Town boss Lou Macari said: "Going down into the Second Division doesn't allow us to
commit ourselves financially the same way it would do if we were in Division One."
---------------------------------
[11] United to face Bury
---------------------------------
Posted Wednesday, May 23, 2001 by bar-knee:
>From Football365
'BURY are preparing to face Manchester United's record £19m signing
Ruud Van Nistelrooy in a pre-season friendly at Gigg Lane. The Dutch international
striker is almost certain to appear when the Premiership champions take on the
Shakers on Wednesday August 8.
And Bury chairman Terry Robinson was quick to pay tribute to Sir Alex
Ferguson's side after confirming the fixture. He said: "It's a superb
fixture for Bury Football Club and our fans and a great gesture from
one of the biggest clubs in the world. What better way to start the season than with
a fixture that will be the envy of every club in the world," he told the Bury Evening
News.
Bury boss Andy Preece added: "It will be great. They are head and shoulders above
every other team in the country and it will be good to pit our wits against the best.
It should be a full house which will be great to see and it is something the lads
will be able to look forward to and enjoy."
---------------------------------
[10] He's not going massive say Preston
---------------------------------
Posted Wednesday, May 23, 2001 by bar-knee:
Preston chairman Bryan Gray about links with city and David Moyes:
"I've had no contact with Manchester City and I don't expect any. I suppose
speculation linking David to other clubs is a testimony of how much he has achieved
here."
Chief executive Tony Scholes added: "I can tell you David Moyes will have one thing on
his mind only and that is getting Preston into the Premiership."
Which is more than city can do for more than one season. Ever.
---------------------------------
[9] Fowler on Utd & Liverpool
---------------------------------
Posted Wednesday, May 23, 2001 by bar-knee:
For the England games.
"The Manchester United lads - they've won the championship - and the Liverpool lads,
we're all buzzing at the minute. I think it will be a good performance because we are
all flying. It's like anything, when you are playing well you never want games to
finish."
---------------------------------
[8] Should have been us?
---------------------------------
Posted Wednesday, May 23, 2001 by bar-knee:
Arsenal retained the Youth Cup despite losing to Blackburn 3-1, winning 6-3 on
aggregate last night.
Arse Youth boss Don Howe:
"The FA Youth Cup is always a good thing to do, and it's not easy. You have to play
some really good teams to get through. We're playing the best teams in the country
with good players."
---------------------------------
[7] See lads, you're just not big enough to play with us big boys
---------------------------------
Posted Wednesday, May 23, 2001 by bar-knee:
Arse, Chelsea, Celtic and Rangers have had their approaches to join the G14 elite
group of football clubs rejected at a meeting today.
---------------------------------
[6] Mexes confirms Red News stories
---------------------------------
Posted Wednesday, May 23, 2001 by bar-knee:
A while back that Utd were after him. Once again you read it here first (now who broke
the Fergie story...and no, nobody mentioned us, and no we know they are all checking
this site for news as our techno heads can work their magic and find out such things -
guess how many news agencies check www.rednews.co.uk - all of 'em!).
Auxerre's Phillipe Mexes:
"During my Easter holidays in 1998 Alex Ferguson invited me to visit Manchester
United with my parents and my sister. They were one of the first clubs to contact me
and ever since, I have had regular contact with Alex Ferguson, he always sends his
best wishes for the New Year...Roche encouraged me to stay at least one more year in
Auxerre for my improvement. He knows what he is talking about as he started at the
same age as me."
So stay for another year he will, or so it seems.
---------------------------------
[5] All getting a bit confusing regarding McClaren's decision
---------------------------------
Posted Wednesday, May 23, 2001 by bar-knee:
As late evening Tuesday West Ham said they would have no problem with Steve McClaren
taking the role as their boss and England assistant.
West Am managing director Paul Aldridge:
"We would be comfortable with that if Steve felt he could do both jobs. Everything we
hear about Steve leads us to suggest he could successfully become a number one,
everyone that is close to him has no doubt about it. Sir Alex has said he recommended
he should be number one at Manchester United, you couldn't get any higher praise than
that, and Jim Smith speaks of him in glowing terms. Steve is a very articulate and
intelligent man who I don't believe will have a problem stepping up. He has strong
ideas about how a club should be run. The meeting was very constructive and very
productive. Steve is thinking things through and subject to his views there may be
another meeting."
(that also confirmed Fergie's backing for Steve)
Yet in the very late part of Tuesday Football365 reported that:
'In-Demand Coach To Choose Between West Ham And National Team
365 Exclusive by Sarah Winterburn
STEVE McCLAREN will be forced to choose between England and West Ham this week when
Football Association chief Adam Crozier offers him a full-time position on the
recommendation of England boss Sven-Goran Eriksson. The Manchester United nummber two
is thinking over an offer to replace Harry Redknapp as West Ham manager but FA
sources have told Football365 that Eriksson has even indicated that McClaren could be
his successor as England boss when the Swede's contract ends in five years.'
And to top it all of Midas report this morning that:
'McClaren is due to go on a family holdiay on Friday.'
Confusion reigns - and not a Utd PLC man in sight!
---------------------------------
[4] Paddy Crerand on Fergie situation
---------------------------------
Posted Wednesday, May 23, 2001 by bar-knee:
"Alex should be given this ambassadorial role or whatever he wants. He has brought a
great deal of success to Manchester United.
I don't know how much money he wants and I'm as much in the dark as anyone,
but I'm sure if you had said to the board 10 years ago would you be willing
to pay that amount in return for all the success he has had I bet you they
would have said yes.
I just think the club should come out and say something. The supporters should know
what is going on.
The fans are in the dark and they are one of the most important groups in
all this.
It certainly looks to me that things are strained between the board and the
manager and what does that mean for next season?
Is he going to be given the money he wants to buy new players in the
summer?
And what does this mean for whatever players he has in the pipeline? What
must they be thinking as they see all this?
When a player signs for a club it is because he wants to play for that
manager, but how long is he going to be at the club?
What must van Nistelrooy be thinking as well as he watches all this? He's
just signed a contract to join Manchester United and now he must be
wondering if he is going to play under Alex.
And then there's Steve McClaren. Is he going? With Alex going at the end of
next season he may be thinking to himself do I want to hang on and see if
there is a place for me with the new regime next summer?
We've all seen it before where a new manager comes in and he brings his own
backroom staff with him.
If he goes to West Ham or wherever, Alex is going to have to find a new
number two for a season.
I don't know what's going on and I just hope the whole thing can be
resolved."
---------------------------------
[3] MUTV announce their transmission plans for next season
---------------------------------
Posted Wednesday, May 23, 2001 by bar-knee:
The new MUTV delay option and 'repeated screening of games' as part of the new TV deal
means that Saturday games will be first shown at 'midnight Sunday, Sunday games first
shown 10pm
Monday, mid week games first shown midnight on the evening they are played'. Hopefully
the programmes in between will now improve so we can all subscribe in peace?!
---------------------------------
[2] Just 11 copies of our end of season issue left!
---------------------------------
Posted Wednesday, May 23, 2001 by bar-knee:
Help Red News and the web site and get stuck into these offers
1) Latest Red News an end of season bumper special - issue 77 - just 11 copies now
left. For details how to order via post contact us at [EMAIL PROTECTED]
2) You can order - going fast - the seven available issues from this season in the UK
for the bargain price of £7 including postage. Details from the same e.mail address
3) The Best of Red News - 1987-2001 - will be published this summer and if you would
like to order a copy and to have your name listed in tbe book as a subscriber then
contact us also at [EMAIL PROTECTED]
---------------------------------
[1] And the best midfielder in the Premiership is
---------------------------------
Posted Wednesday, May 23, 2001 by bar-knee:
Keano of course. According to the end of season Opta stats, he had the highest pass
completion rate - 86.7% (2184 in total) with Becks in fourth place. Viera was 7th and
Gary Nev a high 9th with 1691 (81.2%).
The dirtiest player in the Premiership - Olivier Dacourt - 94 fouls to his name and 13
yellow cards.
---------------------------------
[45] Just a quick thought
---------------------------------
Posted Tuesday, May 22, 2001 by bar-knee:
If there is no panic according to BC, why did Fergie feel the need to go public with
his decision.
And how many times have we and he (Fergie) been down this road. Our Martin and Chubby
Roland wouldn't budge on new wages for Fergie - so much so that Fergie had to use
George Graham's Arse contract as a negotiating tool - and it just seems like same old
story, just different tune.
---------------------------------
[44] More from Bobby on Fergie
---------------------------------
Posted Tuesday, May 22, 2001 by bar-knee:
Sir Bobby Charlton:
"We want Alex to stay and we shall do the best we possibly can to find the right thing
for him to do. The problem will be solved, don't worry. Alex's options are open, but
he will think very carefully before leaving Manchester United - he won't do that on a
whim. I don't think he can - or will - walk away. I am a director of the club and I
have a responsibility to the football side, so I shall be involved in trying to
persuade him to stay.
I have no problems with Alex. He phones me if there is a major problem, and he hasn't
phoned me in the last week. I have a special relationship with Alex and if it is
serious he will phone me. There are discussions that we are having at the moment, but
in the meantime Alex will certainly be our manager next season and he expects to see
out his contract. At this club we try to think long-term and we try to be sensible and
try not to make decisions hastily - we always try to think them all out.
This is something that has cropped up and over the next couple of weeks the directors
will be talking and we'll be talking to Alex. I am not panicking. Manchester United is
a big club and we expect a frenzy like this, but we keep calm and make decisions after
we have talked together and we shall do the same over this issue. Alex is our manager
until next year and there hasn't been a lot of thought about who is going to take over.
We were expecting to get together around about Christmas and start talking about it,
but maybe this will make us bring it forward a little. There are directors in Italy,
there are directors in France, we are all over the place and are communicating by
telephone at the moment, so we'll discuss it when we all get back home together."
---------------------------------
[43] city aren't getting Mick McCarthy
---------------------------------
Posted Tuesday, May 22, 2001 by bar-knee:
Pat Quigley, president of the Football Association of Ireland said:
"The timing is very unfortunate. Mick is contracted to us until the end of the World
Cup qualifying campaign and that's that. Personally I can't see how he could possibly
think of going when the Republic team is top of the qualifying group and has a great
chance of reaching the finals next year. Mick is doing a great job and we want to keep
him."
---------------------------------
[42] Bayern - we're over 1999
---------------------------------
Posted Tuesday, May 22, 2001 by bar-knee:
Mehmet Scholl:
"I have forgotten completely about Barcelona. For me it was a big joy to even be
there, as I was injured for nearly three months prior to that game.
For us it will be harder to beat Valencia than Real Madrid. Madrid played very
dominantly and tried to make the play. That was nice for us, as we played a good
counter-attack. But Valencia will be playing just like we do and that's why it will be
tough for us to beat them. We are ready for it, but it is a tough task. There is no
fear among the guys - just a huge respect for them. But we are really looking forward
to the final."
---------------------------------
[41] More from Bobby Charlton
---------------------------------
Posted Tuesday, May 22, 2001 by bar-knee:
"The fact that other clubs want to speak to Steve shows the respect there is for him.
If Steve talks to West Ham that is fine, but it doesn't mean to say that we won't work
very hard to keep him. We do that with people we value at the club."
Like Fergie?
---------------------------------
[40] Latest Birdman article
---------------------------------
Posted Tuesday, May 22, 2001 by bar-knee:
Birdy's Bacon Barm NO 19 (20 MAY 2001)
sponsored by www.homestead.com/birdland1
Free copies to Vas ov www.m-u-f-c.co.uk & Barney ov www.rednews.co.uk
INGREDIENTS - JAMIE OLIVER IS A DICK ! / BIRDMAN BECOMES TEAM HERO ! / SUNDAYS ARE
LIKE BLEEDIN' GROUND HOG DAY / TARTAN SHOPPING TROLLEY / WACK RUSSELL / THAT PRICK IN
US OF A THATS GOT 5 WIFES AND 29 KIDS / LETHAL INJECTION / PISS FUNNY / ELLECTION
ERRECTION
This Barm is dedicated to the bread knife. She a little bit like Marge
Simpson meets Kylie Minogue - so what more could any man wish for eh
boys. Plus when we go for a meal she has my carrots and I get her peas! - geddit ?
no thought not.
THAT JAMIE OLIVER IS A DICK !
His mates come round to help him decorate - so he nips out to get pasta salad and sun
dried tomatoes - come on you big girl !
Imagine that happening - you turn to your mate - "do you want owt to eat mate" Yer
mate goes "yeah get me puddin', chips, peas and gravy - 2 rounds of bread, a scallop'.
Oh and 20 Benson and a bottle of Vimto - oh and get a paper and a couple of scratch
cards and porn mag while ya there"
Bleedin southerners eh!
BIRDMAN BECOMES TEAM HERO ! - well kind ov.
Got the tram to Utd as usual a few weeks back and genuinely was gonna
get a ticket from Eccles - but the machines were out of action. So after the game we
get to St James stop and the place is full of Police and Ticket Inspectors - so
everyone forms an orderly queue to purchase a 90p single to Eccles. It gets to
TheBirdman's turn and machine isn't having any of it - it just keeps spitting back my
quid lid (to many shouts of people behind me in the queue of "what the f*ck are ya
doin ya daft cunt". Anyways by now the tram has been in for a good 5 minutes and the
driver is anxious to "do one". So I explains my plight having tried 6 times without
luck. By now he is that late and that pissed off that he just says "arrrrrrhh -
everyone just get". Now I recon I'd gone from zero to hero - yet not one word of
thanks was offered to me despite the fact that I must have save 50 reds a pound a go -
so next time lads - rem to thank the fat bald guy with the ropey gold nuggets and/or
get me a beer in at the Eccles Cross Wetherspoons - tarrrrr.
SUNDAYS ARE LIKE BLEEDIN' GROUND HOG DAY
Anyone else agree? - Sundays are like bleedin Ground Hog Day
Every soddin Sunday is the same - get up with huge man siddy style kin
hangover - Stuff yer face with fried food and try and rem how the hell you got home
the night before and whether you did manage to pay the babysitter or not. Go shopping
and get all the things you should have got the last time you went. Spend half the day
flicking through the usual shite that's on TV- getting fucked off at the same news
items and same Ads. Read usual shit in the paper.
Spend the day shouting at the pan lids - "put that back", "don't do
that", "stop fighting", "play nice", "stop mitherin", "I wont tell ya
again!".barking orders at em through gritted teeth! End up and the park - get pissed
wet through & even more pissed off.
et the pan lids fed, bathed and in bed -then watch the missus do a
weeks ironing in half an hour - Polish your kids school shoes - God its fuckin boring
- so I am off for a few beers and I think I'll
watch Au Revoir Cantona - or summat.need cheering up. Like Mozza said - "Everyday is
like Sunday" - .well thank f*ck it aint. Rant over.
TARTAN SHOPPING TROLLEY
Arh yes - the old shopping trolley - best in tartan red and with one
dodgy wheel with dog sh-t on it. I love seeing old coffin dodgers with
these or with a folded up nylon shopping bag - you know so that they can save 1 pence
by not getting a carrier bag. The minimum age to own one of these is 53 years and
three months - any younger and you will not be allocated one I am afraid. Any usual
form of ID such as passport, driving licence, utility bill with your address on or
bingo card will secure you a trolley or bag of your choice - providing of course that
you fit the age criteria.
There is an organisation called OFF-TROLLEY that controls and regulates the issue of
these fine every days aids to old duffers. OFF-TROLLEY recently published figures
stating that there are aprox 7.2 million trolleys and bags in current circulation (of
which 6.3 million were red Tartan). Figures are expected to rise as the Elderly
population increases.
As to what is kept in these bags - well the contents of your bag or
trolley is optional - though the following list may give you some ideas of trusty
rusty old favourites;-
A packet of Victory V's , 12 Co-op stamps, 1 Piccadilly 261 sticker
(circa 1975) stuck to inside lid , 1 pair of inco pads - XL, A jar of
lemon curd, A box of Swan Vester, 8oz of lamb's tongue , 1 packet of
Rich Tea, 1 hair net, 1 consessionery clipper card, 1 bottle of
smelling salts, 2 tins of prunes, 1 Birds-Eye cod in sauce, a packet of budgie food,
and finally one ticket to see Bobby Davro in Cleethorpes.
WACK RUSSELL
I went for a few cheeky Lagers today and as I was sat their quietly
supping, someone walked past with a big black f*ck-off Labrador - and
low and behold the little shitty Jack Russell that had previously sat
there all quiet suddenly went into one. Now we've all seen these little shits barking
their little heads off at dogs 10 times bigger and 10 times harder but they just cant
help it can they? Its built into them to dismiss all common sense facts and act up.
Nigel Winterburn, Paul Dickov, Dennis Wise - the Jack Russell's of football - need I
say more ?
THAT PRICK IN US OF A THATS GOT 5 WIFES AND 29 KIDS
Have you seen that div in America with 5 wives and 29 pan lids - dopey
dick! Jesus H Christ eh!!! Now I struggle keepin' me marbles with 1 wife and two kids
so this brain dead nut must be radio bleedin' rental by now. Only in America eh (oh
and perhaps the North East)
THAT BLOKE IN THE US OF A THAT'S GONNA GET A LETHAL INJECTION
They are apparently got pop this guy on National TV - how cool - perhaps they could do
it to the tune of "Bye Bye Badman" by The Stone Roses" or perhaps "Needles & Pins" by
the Searchers. Theres stacks of potential for Ads too - How about "get a good
Nightol" or an Ad for Slumberland beds ?
It would though, have been far better to get him on the Electric Chair
'cos we could have had "Shocked by the power" by Kylie or "Electric Avenue" by Eddie
Grant and Ads for Incontinence pads !!! They could even have had "Sparky" to press the
button - soz lads I've gone into Bob Monkhouse mode again.
PISS FUNNY
Like I said earlier I went for a few beers today and I took along my 4
year old lad. Now the single most funniest thing ever that has happened in my sad life
occurred there today - now this probably ain't gonna sound funny/you had to be there
and all that but I am gonna tell it anyway. Our George needed a burst so we nips in
the piss stones and he drops his trolleys. Now bear in mind he is only 4 and he was
stretching and struggling to pee in the old "Armitage Shanks trophy". Well it all got
out of hand and some how (God knows how?) he managed to pee in his own eye.
Responsible parent that I am and all, I just lost it and -.well pissed myself -
literally.
Quality.
YOU SAY ELLECTION, I SAY ERRECTION
Just like United Road and Old Style Single man Burger Vans. They can get rid of these
places but they cant take our memories!
The Princes Cinema in Monton, -.The Eccles Rainbow rooms -.. The Silver Screen and The
Talk of the North - The people who kill these shrines are bastards the lot em -..
Direct Action should start NOW - no more should we stand by while our heritage is
destroyed.
Don't vote for Audrey Roberts - nor Curly Watts .. vote Birdman - the
peoples choice!
I'll bring back terraces to Old Trafford - plus a Bank Holiday after
ever shitty re-arranged Sky game on a Sunday. - and I'll even get Tarzan Boy on at
half time and dig up old Tracy to sing "I'm so excited - its Man United - yeah"
What do ya say eh ??????
Sight of the week - Birdman spotted white dog shit on Worsley Road !
Tune of the week is - "Turning Japanese" by The Vapours
Sites of the week - erm crap - I've lost the address - just do a
search on T'Internet for Tommy Cooper gags - well worth it.
Anyway - thats me stuffed - wheres them Rennies gone ? (oh and always
read the label)
Que the credits.
Like Paul Weller says in A Town Called Malice "I could go on for hours
and I probably will but"
---------------------------------
[39] Exclusive from spursweb
---------------------------------
Posted Tuesday, May 22, 2001 by bar-knee:
EXCLUSIVE: Sheringham Set To Meet Levy Today
Posted By SpursWeb - 22/05/01 - 12:21
'Manchester United striker Teddy Sheringham, out of contract on July
1, has met Tottenham Non-Executive Chairman Daniel Levy today. It is believed that
the meeting was scheduled for 10am, and there was a possibility of a contract being
signed there and then. Sheringham can expect around £40,000 per week for two years if
a deal goes ahead.
Press reports have been linking Sheringham with a move back to his
former club for weeks, but it seems that finally a move is well and
truly on the cards...
It would be against Premier League rules for Spurs to approach
Sheringham until his contract expires, unless of course Manchester
United realise that Sheringham has his heart set on a move back to
London and have given him permission to talk to Tottenham.'
---------------------------------
[38] city players on massive departure
---------------------------------
Posted Tuesday, May 22, 2001 by bar-knee:
Weaver: "I was surprised rather than shocked that the manager was sacked. When a team
is relegated there is usually a reaction of some kind and the board obviously felt
this was the right thing to do to move the club forward. Even though I was out of the
side at the time I have no particular axe to grind. I will always be grateful to Joe
Royle for giving me my big break in football."
Alfie Haaland: "When I was told I thought it was a wind-up. Nothing that happens in
football should ever come as a total shock but this was a big surprise. I like and
respect Joe Royle very much both as a manager and a man. I will hope to speak to him
over the next few days to wish him well. I have said all along that the coaching I
have had at City is the best I have ever experienced and from that respect I hope
Willie Donachie stays. Now the players are like everyone else. We will just have to
wait and see what happens. I play for Manchester City, and not one man, so of course
I am still looking forward to coming back and winning promotion next year."
---------------------------------
[37] Blomqvist latest
---------------------------------
Posted Tuesday, May 22, 2001 by bar-knee:
"This is not the time for me to quit. There's no chance of that
yet. I am an optimist and a fighter and I will battle on. I still have the Manchester
United dream in my head. It is not in my thoughts yet to go anywhere else or give up
completely. I understand the club's decision not to give me another contract. I knew
a couple of months ago that if I didn't play this season then it was hard for them to
offer me anything. I fully agree with that.
There have been a lot of rumours about me quitting but that is not the case at this
stage. Of course if it goes on for one or two more years then I'd have to think about
it. You can't just jog forever
without playing football. But I don't give in that easily and I will keep on fighting.
If I do get fit and am as good or better than before then there might be a
possibility of a new contract here and I would like that.
United have not turned round to me and said that there is no future for me at Old
Trafford even though they can't give me a new deal at the moment. Some kind of
solution which suits both of us could still be worked out even when my current
contract expires."
>From the MEN
'Blomqvist hasn't played a senior competitive match for United since
the European Cup final in `99. The player, who signed for £4.5m from Italian club
Parma in the summer of '98 on a three-year deal, was struck down in pre-season
following the treble triumph with trouble in both his knees.
Operations have discovered the winger has suffered damage to the
articular ligaments behind his knee caps. His left knee was the last to be operated on
and he hasn't had problems with that for over six months. The right knee is the
stumbling block, though Blomqvist has been heartened by the fact there has been no
swelling for a month now.
``I haven't felt this good in a long, long time,'' he says. ``I am
optimistic myself but I know there is still a long way to go before I
get match fitness back. I have to prove myself to the club again.''
---------------------------------
[36] More from Sir Bobby
---------------------------------
Posted Tuesday, May 22, 2001 by bar-knee:
Gives an interview from Monte Carlo tonight on Radio 5 Live where he will say that Utd
may have to bring things forward even though they will try to keep Fergie on in some
capacity by announcing his replacement maybe as early as Christmas. That would surely
mean that the new man would come in earlier rather than next summer.
Whatever, doesn't it seem strange that roving ambassador Bobby is the first Board man
to make public comments on the Fergie situation - did the rest of the Board know he
was going to comment?
---------------------------------
[35] McClaren latest - MEN
---------------------------------
Posted Tuesday, May 22, 2001 by bar-knee:
>From MEN
'D-Day looms for Mac. STEVE McClaren will make a decision on his future in the next 48
hours. It is a three-way scrap for the Manchester United number two between the Reds
- who want him to remain as coach - and West Ham United and Southampton who want him
as manager.
However, speculation linking the 40-year-old with the now vacant
Maine Road post at Manchester City has been dismissed by both camps. United boss Sir
Alex Ferguson's assistant is due on his summer
holidays on Friday and wants to clear up his future before jetting
off for his break. I understand McClaren will now deliver his verdict by Thursday at
the latest.
That will disappoint Old Trafford as they were hoping to have one
last face-to-face meeting with their assistant manager on Thursday when chief
executive Peter Kenyon returns from a G14 meeting in Milan and the Champions League
final.
McClaren had discussions with Kenyon yesterday before he flew to Italy for the
meeting of the powerful European clubs. That talk followed a secret discussion on
Sunday with West Ham United, who want McClaren to fill the Upton Park vacancy left by
Harry Redknapp.
Southampton have also expressed an interest in taking Fergie's right- hand man to the
South Coast where Stuart Gray is currently caretaker manager in the wake of Glenn
Hoddle's departure to Spurs in April.
Despite United's desire to have one last attempt to persuade McClaren to see out the
final 12 months of his Old Trafford contract, the champion's number two is understood
to have decided he's heard
everything he needs from all interested parties.
Now it is down to him whether he stays or goes and over the next day
or two he'll be weighing up his options before coming to a conclusion.
It would appear that the Reds have the weaker case due to the fact
that they have been unable to give McClaren any guarantees over his
United future beyond the summer of 2002 when Ferguson retires.
By Thursday they will know if they have to begin the search for a new
sidekick for Fergie in his final campaign as United boss.'
Shouldn't cuddly Pete be back home trying to sort this mess out?
---------------------------------
[34] Bruce wants to stay at Wigan
---------------------------------
Posted Tuesday, May 22, 2001 by bar-knee:
Dave Whelan, the club's millionaire owner: "I certainly want Steve here as manager. He
wants to stay - there should not be any problems. We will sit down, discuss what he
can have and what he has to
spend, and we will take things from there. I can't see there being any changes. We
think on similar lines. We both believe in honest graft, young legs and share the same
work ethics. I like him, he likes us and I firmly believe he is the best man for the
job. Get on with it, I say."
---------------------------------
[33] More on Leeds move away from Helland Road
---------------------------------
Posted Tuesday, May 22, 2001 by bar-knee:
A statement released by the club said: "Leeds Sporting Plc, the parent company of
Leeds United Football Club, today announced that due to the ever-increasing demand for
its match day facilities, it has commenced a feasibility study into either building a
new stadium on a virgin site in Leeds or redeveloping the existing Elland Road site.
The feasibility study will also cover options for the financing of the development
which may include additional sponsorship through the stadium naming rights."
Peter Ridsdale: "In order to continue to compete at the top of the Premier League and
in Europe, it is important that we have the facilities to maximise match day demand
and thereby enhance shareholder value. Included in the feasibility study will be a
full consultation process involving our shareholders, the city council and our
supporter base. No final commitment will be made until this consultation process has
been completed."
---------------------------------
[32] Viera - Carling Player of the Year
---------------------------------
Posted Tuesday, May 22, 2001 by bar-knee:
A statement from the Carling Awards Panel said: "Vieira has it all - skill on the
ball, pace, and the ability to score and create goals. He has also been committed to
the Arsenal cause throughout the season. He has dominated the midfield area in the
Carling Premiership and has shown the rest of us how it should be done. Vieira is the
central figure around which the Arsenal team works, he is the player that makes them
tick. If he continues this form in the future he could well be made Arsenal's captain
in seasons to come."
And was the only one who never gave up in the 1-6 to the Arsenal!
---------------------------------
[31] We're better than Bayern
---------------------------------
Posted Tuesday, May 22, 2001 by bar-knee:
Fergie:
"No one can tell me that they were a better side than us and that's a fact. They are
not a better side than us and I would say that we are a better team than they are. But
they do pack good European experience and they took their chances well against us. At
the end of the day, particularly at Old Trafford, they deserved to go through because
in the second half they played well. In Munich they scored so early it gave them a
great start to the game and they then got a killer goal at half time. But in the
second half we absolutely bombarded their goal and made a lot of chances. They were
hanging on by the skin of their teeth and it was a good second-half performance by us.
They knew they were a bit fortunate to go through.
They did not find us out in terms of ability. They found us out in terms of
concentration levels and when you make a mistake you are punished in Europe."
