---------------------------------
[24] Trees to grow on money
---------------------------------
Posted Wednesday, June 27, 2001 by redend:
[There is a joke in this somewhere]
The Bank of Scotland is making compost from old money - handing over used notes to
Dundee City Council - who already compost household waste and whisky maltings.
They sell the results to garden centres and organic farmers, saving thousands in
landfill costs. A council spokesman told the Daily Record: "We can compost anything
carbon-based. Old money is as good as anything."
[This is nothing new - for years city have been using a mechanism called "The Transfer
Market" to turn good money into bags of shite.]
---------------------------------
[23] Becks Cupboard Sex
---------------------------------
Posted Wednesday, June 27, 2001 by redend:
Not that Becks - but this one:
Boris Becker says he had sex in a restaurant broom cupboard because he lost at
Wimbledon. [I know someone who did it in a toilet on the train on the way back from
Selhurst Park - does that count?]
After Pat Rafter defeated him in 1999, Becker went on a bender [leave it] in Mayfair
and met Russian model Angela Ermakowa. Becker and Ermakowa had sex in an eaterie [a
what?] called Nobu [I see]. He has since paid her £3 million after she gave birth to
their child. [Surely that is way above the going rate - even for Mayfair]
Becker has told Sports Illustrated magazine: "It wasn't an affair. It was just
poom-bah-boom!" [Second service?]
---------------------------------
[22] On this day in history 1996...
---------------------------------
Posted Wednesday, June 27, 2001 by redend:
...Ingerlund won their last trophy:
Uefa's Fair Play award at Euro 96.
---------------------------------
[21] Blomqvist - make or break
---------------------------------
Posted Wednesday, June 27, 2001 by redend:
We covered this story previously about him doing unpaid pre-season training with
United in a make or break effort to get back into the game - the MEN have some quotes
from Jesper:
"This is the best solution for me and United don't have a problem
with it." [Could be that idea of not paying a player any money - can see the appeal of
that one to the PLC - but don't tink it'll catch on with the rest of the lads.]
"I have been doing a bit of training with my local club in Sweden, Omea, during the
summer and the knee feels as good as it has done for the past two years.
"I had a week where it swelled up but other than that it has felt good. I had a
holiday and played some beach volleyball and it stood up to that as well without any
problem. It's the first time I have been able to play that for more than two years so
that's a good sign.
"The opportunity to come back for pre-season training was more an offer from the club
to help me than anything else. They haven't said anything about contracts after it. It
is just a couple of months for me to see how the knee stands up.
"It means I can prolong my decision on my long-term future for another three months,
which suits me. I am quite hopeful that everything will be OK.
"I still harbour hopes of proving my fitness and then maybe staying on at Old Trafford
because I love the place. But if I had to guess, I wouldn't say my chances of
remaining at United being more than about five per cent at the moment! I still have
that dream but if it doesn't come true then I'll have to look elsewhere if the knee
proves OK."
"I am going to give it a shot. It may be a small chance to stay on at United but while
that slim chance is still there I will go for it. The club have been very good to me
and because they say I have been a good professional in my time at Old Trafford they
are prepared to let me train for a couple of months."
"I accept that I won't be paid. I am just grateful to be given this extra opportunity.
It is better for me to come back to Manchester and work at a place I know instead of
going elsewhere to try and prove my fitness. I am more confident than ever before that
I'll be back playing again and free of the knee troubles. Who my future employers will
be, I haven't got a clue."
---------------------------------
[20] Ayala my Arse...
---------------------------------
Posted Wednesday, June 27, 2001 by redend:
United are reported to have made a bid for Valencia defender Fabian Ayala. You
remember vs Munich - the solid looking lad who took no shit from anyone.
The player's agent Fernando Hidalgo is quoted as saying: "There is an offer and I want
Valencia to know about it,"
Hidalgo then claimed he had received a fax from United outlining the bid.
And now the story really falls to pieces:
Ayala's contract stipulates that he cannot leave for under £37 million, but it is
extremely unlikely that United will offer anywhere near that amount. [Flying Pigs].
He then goes on to say that his client doesn't want to leave Spain as he loves it -
and it would have to be a hell of a lot of money to tempt him. [This is the bit where
he shows he is getting us mixed up with a club who wants to compete in the transfer
market.]
[Thanks to Jason & others for this]
---------------------------------
[19]Is Veron on?
---------------------------------
Posted Wednesday, June 27, 2001 by redend:
The chances of signing Juan Sebastian Veron are looking up after he was acquitted in
the false passports affair enquiry. He was looking at a possible two-year ban over
allegations that he used a fake European passport to avoid restrictions on the number
of non-EU players in a team.
It was expected though, that he'd probably get 6 months - reduced to 3 on appeal - so
your have to say Ron, this is a bonus.
With his former boss at Lazio - Svengali Eriksson giving a move to OT his blessing
things look bright. Until you remember that the PLC's tiny little arms that struggle
to reach down into those deep pockets we've been filling with cash for years.
---------------------------------
[18] United are not big spenders shock
---------------------------------
Posted Wednesday, June 27, 2001 by redend:
ananova reports: Football analyst William Davies, of stockbrokers Capel-Cure Sharp,
said: "United are the most commercially successful club in that they generate more of
their own revenue than anyone else. However their main source of capital as a plc is
the city and there is a price to pay for that; in the words of dear old Gordon Brown -
probity and prudence.
[Question: Since flotation - How many times have United gone to the city with a rights
issue to raise capital for any expansion project? Answer: None. They've always
generated funds for buildiung by fleecing fans for more and more each year in ticket
prices. So how efffectively have United exploited the benefits of PLC status since
flotation? Answers on a postage stamp.]
"With Real Madrid they receive help from local and national government because they
feel it is important for Spain that the club does well. They also have wealthy
individuals willing to bung in a million or two whenever it's needed.
"Also in Spain and Italy the leagues do not sell their TV rights as one and the top
clubs have broken away to sell their rights individually. This can be worth as much as
£50million per season, while United are tied into the collective agreement with the
Premier League.
"So this is undoubtedly a concern for United. In the past they did not need as many
signings because they had their remarkable array of youth talent. That appears to be
drying up and there is a concern that United are being left behind in the transfer
market."
"I think it will improve for United and TV revenue will improve. Pay-per-view could
come in and the clubs may break away and negotiate their own TV deals, but the next
big thing will be the sale of TV rights over the internet which is about five years
away.
"There must also be a limit to the number of individuals who have £20million or
£30million to give to Real Madrid so it's got to level out."
[But at the end of the day - no matter how much money is coming in - what is to stop
it going back out again in players wages? Nothing. If you want the best you've got to
pay. We should be settling for second best just to protect shareholder dividends. That
is why there is a conflict of interest if the shareholders are not also fans.]
---------------------------------
[17] Skyjacked Games - the Manchester United List
---------------------------------
Posted Wednesday, June 27, 2001 by redend:
Manchester United confirmed live fixtures so far:
August
Sun 19 Manchester United v Fulham
September
None confirmed
October
Sat 27 Manchester United v Leeds
November
Sun 4 Liverpool v Manchester United (1130)
Sun 24 Arsenal v Manchester United
December
Sat 1 Manchester United v Chelsea
---------------------------------
[16] Skyjacked Games - The Full List
---------------------------------
Posted Wednesday, June 27, 2001 by redend:
Full list of all confirmed live fixtures:
August
Sun 19 Manchester United v Fulham
Mon 20 Everton v Tottenham
Tues 21 Arsenal v Leeds
Sun 26 Newcastle v Sunderland
Mon 27 Bolton v Liverpool
September
Sun 9 Charlton v Fulham
Sun 16 Ipswich v Blackburn
Mon 17 Leicester v Middlesbrough
Wed 19 Chelsea v Charlton
Sun 23 West Ham v Newcastle
Mon 24 Southampton v Aston Villa
Sun 30 Ipswich v Leeds
October
Sat 13 Liverpool v Leeds
Sun 14 Aston Villa v Fulham
Mon 15 Tottenham v Derby
Sun 21 Leeds v Chelsea
Mon 22 Middlesbrough v Sunderland
Sat 27 Manchester United v Leeds
Sun 28 Derby v Chelsea
Mon 29 Blackburn v Leicester
November
Sat 3 Leicester v Sunderland
Sun 4 Liverpool v Manchester United (1130)
Sat 17 Blackburn v Liverpool
Sun 18 Ipswich v Bolton
Mon 19 Charlton v West Ham
Sun 24 Arsenal v Manchester United
December
Sat 1 Manchester United v Chelsea
Sun 2 Everton v Southampton
Mon 3 Match TBA
Sun 9 Arsenal v Aston Villa
Sun 16 Match TBA
Mon 17 Match TBA
Sun 23 Liverpool v Arsenal
Wed 26 Arsenal v Chelsea (1200)
---------------------------------
[15] Eastlands - Wastelands
---------------------------------
Posted Wednesday, June 27, 2001 by redend:
>From KA:
"Oh dear, where will it all end for poor massive club shitty. There are major faults
at the new ground with the quality of steel used in the construction of some of the
spiral walkways into the ground. An agency engineer ordered the wrong steel which was
only noticed later when paying the bill. He had left the agency by then.
Also the concrete which forms the terracing for seats has a problem which will get
worse when they dig down after the games to lower the surface level 13 metres and
install extra seats for city to use. It may go arse upwards when the news breaks".
[At least it would be an opportunity to reassess Safe Standing areas.]
---------------------------------
[14] Wembley shambles review
---------------------------------
Posted Wednesday, June 27, 2001 by redend:
The government has established a review of the project to redevelop London's Wembley
as a national stadium, demanding answers within eight weeks.
[In other words go and write a report that concludes the National Stadium (and
everything else really) should be situated in London regardless of the evidence
pointing to other locations and the fact that EVERYTHING ALWAYS goes to London 'cos it
hasn't got enough stuff yet.]
Newly appointed Secretary of State for Culture, Media and Sport Tessa Jowell said in a
statement that businessman Patrick Carter would head the review. Jowell said his terms
of reference were: "In the light of the FA's announcement on May 1 about the project
to develop a new English national stadium at Wembley for football and rugby league, to
examine if the project can be funded and managed at Wembley, or if that proved
impractical, at another location in England.
[He has been given a map to examine all the possible locations. We can exclusively
reveal it is the A-Z of London.]
---------------------------------
[13] All in White...
---------------------------------
Posted Wednesday, June 27, 2001 by redend:
...against the Shite
United have confirmed the kick-off time and strip for the Charity Shield on Sunday 12
August. The match will start at 2pm, at the request of the local Dibble.
We will be wearing the all-white version of the new away kit against the Scousers.
---------------------------------
[12] Thieving Scousers?
---------------------------------
Posted Wednesday, June 27, 2001 by redend:
Liverpool are reported to be in for Le Havre's brilliant 17 year old midfielder
Anthony Le Tallec, a player we've been tracking.
Le Tallec scored a couple for France U-16s in the 4-0 win over England in May.
---------------------------------
[11] Sharpey staying at Bratfudd
---------------------------------
Posted Wednesday, June 27, 2001 by redend:
Former "wing king" [who writes this bollocks?] Lee Sharpe looks set to stay with
Bradford for the new year after the arrival of Harry Redknapp at Portsmouth.
He was expected to move to Portsmouth on a free after impressing Graham Rix but 'Arry
doesn't fancy him.
---------------------------------
[9] Vieira quotes
---------------------------------
Posted Wednesday, June 27, 2001 by tb:
>From The Sun
"I won't let you [Arse] decide my next club."
"I can say categorically I will not be signing for an Italian club. [So Juve story is
bollox?] I'm still under contract to Arsenal so it is illegal for me to say which club
I would like to join.
"And it would be disrespectful of me to say which clubs I would turn down. But I have
already ruled out Italy.[And Manchester city - its hard to say anything that could
disrepect them]"
"Nobody will tell me where to go [I think a few Arse fans might] - not Arsenal, not my
agent, nobody.
"I will only go to a club with the ability to win the biggest prizes [Thats us isn't
it?] every year and the ambition to sign the best players [Oh - maybe not.]. I feel
relieved my decision has been made and made public."
"I said what I wanted to say in my meeting with Mr David Dein and Mr Wenger earlier
this month and, as far as I am concerned, I am making a clean break."
---------------------------------
[8] One for all you one-handed surfers?
---------------------------------
Posted Wednesday, June 27, 2001 by tb:
You have to time it right though:
(link:http://members.home.nl/marola/kamer_05b.html)
http://members.home.nl/marola/kamer_05b.html
Or maybe:
(link:http://members.home.nl/marola/kamer_02b.html)
http://members.home.nl/marola/kamer_02b.html
---------------------------------
[7] Latest on Veron
---------------------------------
Posted Wednesday, June 27, 2001 by tb:
Lazio vice president Elisabetta Cragnotti, the daughter of the president and owner
Sergio, speaks about Veron and the decision of tomorrow: "We are waiting for the
final decision (today) and we are hopeful. But we have to wait till tomorrow before we
can release any further comments."
---------------------------------
[6] Petit talks the rent boy talk
---------------------------------
Posted Wednesday, June 27, 2001 by tb:
As we said - the deal wasn't sealed - until now...
"Chelsea made the approach to me a long time ago. I wanted to come back to play in
England and Chelsea were very determined and very strong and that's why I made my
decision. [In other words they wouldn't budge on the pre-contract agreement so he was
shafted by the Rent Boys.]
"I think it's going to be more difficult this year for Manchester United and I think
the Premier League will be more open than in the past few years. I think we have a big
opportunity to fight for the title."
---------------------------------
[5] Vierra's mate is sympathetic
---------------------------------
Posted Wednesday, June 27, 2001 by tb:
As new Rent Boy Petit says:
"I spoke to him two or three weeks ago but we did not speak about the future,"
"He just told me he was frustrated that I left Arsenal. For me, he is my close friend.
If he leaves I will understand the situation - that's never changed for me, he's my
friend."
---------------------------------
[4] Fowl behaviour
---------------------------------
Posted Wednesday, June 27, 2001 by tb:
Kay Martin, a secretary to a New Zealand MP, got the fright of her life a few weeks
ago. According to the Auckland Sunday Star, she and a friend were chatting over a
drink when they heard a chicken squawking. The bird sounded in some distress, so they
went outside to investigate, thinking perhaps that it had escaped from one of the
neighbours. But, there were no chickens anywhere.
Then Martin realized with horror that the sound was coming from her own kitchen -
coming, in fact, from the oven, where she had put a chicken in to roast half an hour
earlier. "It was as if it was shrieking at me from its grave," she says. "It was so
bizarre I just froze."
As they approached the oven, the squawking reached a crescendo. They took the tray
out, and as the chicken began to cool, the squawking died away.
Martin chopped the neck off and threw it in the sink. She noticed that the vocal
chords were intact. "Steam was coming up the neck from the stuffing," says Martin, and
this had caused the dead bird to squawk.
She has not cooked chicken since.
---------------------------------
[3] Fans get ripped off part 8998776587
---------------------------------
Posted Wednesday, June 27, 2001 by tb:
>From the Mirror
Middlesbrough and Aston Villa are both stinging loyal supporters who opt to use their
installment payment scheme with a massive 29.8% APR this season.
Fans using a similar scheme at Arsenal are threatened with having their season ticket
reclaimed if they fail to keep up payments. Only Leeds come out in credit from the
18-strong top flight by operating an interest-free policy.
Despite a long campaign by ex-Culture Secretary Chris Smith against the expense,
clubs are continuing to kick fans in the teeth, according to former England star
Chris Waddle.
Waddle said: "Football clubs should start to look after their fans more carefully.
They are the ones who mean so much to the future of the club and we don't want a
situation where corporate punters are being preferred at the expense of the loyal
fan."
Waddle was joined in his condemnation by Football Supporters Association spokesman
Steve Powell. "We find it deeply disappointing what clubs are doing with these
schemes," he said.
"Chris Smith asked it to be made a priority of the Football Commission to look at
instalment plans. Yet clubs have looked at them and simply ignored all the pleas to
be sensible." (No surprises there then, no wonder the football authorities don’t
want a fan friendly chair of the IFC)
A fan wanting to buy the most expensive pounds 470 season ticket at the Riverside in a
12-month credit scheme will be forced to pay an extra pounds 140.
---------------------------------
[2] Sven states the obvious
---------------------------------
Posted Wednesday, June 27, 2001 by tb:
As he claims the following would enhance Serie A
"Obviously there is David Beckham and Paul Scholes"
---------------------------------
[1] Veron's ex boss says join us
---------------------------------
Posted Wednesday, June 27, 2001 by tb:
As adopted Ingerlunder Eriksson says
"To play for Manchester United is almost the greatest thing in football. I think if he
does choose Manchester it would be an excellent choice."
"They are one of the best teams in the world with Bayern Munich and Real Madrid and
they play very good football, so Juan Sebastian will enjoy himself."
