---------------------------------
[24] Eric in Manchester
---------------------------------
Posted Wednesday, July 4, 2001 by Doc'sArmy:
Beach Soccer is coming to Manchester - with Eric and his mates - on 17th-19th August
2001
The event will be at the MEN Arena
Tickets prices:
400 prime seats: £25.00
Adult standard seats: £12.50
Children U12: £7.50
More info on www.rednews.co.uk when tickets go on sale.
---------------------------------
[23] Fergie after Fab cover
---------------------------------
Posted Wednesday, July 4, 2001 by Doc'sArmy:
The MEN reports that Fergie is looking for back up for Barthez after Goram left at the
end of the close season.
Fergie: "We're exploring one or two avenues regarding goalkeepers. It would be nice to
get a third face in. Raimond has done a great job for us but he is 38 and Fabien does
get the odd injury now and again because of the way he trains so we have to have a
safeguard.
"I think someone in his mid-20s would be out of the equation because they want regular
first-team football at that stage of their career. But an older goalkeeper or a young
emerging one just breaking through could fit the bill for us.
"I have got three or four different names I am considering and we could sort something
out in the next week."
Wigan's Northern Ireland international Roy Carroll has been touted as a potential
candidate for a step up to United's level and is highly-rated by his international
boss and ex-Red Sammy McIlroy but, at 24, he could be ruled out as he comes into
Fergie's mid-20s category.
---------------------------------
[22] More on Burnley match
---------------------------------
Posted Wednesday, July 4, 2001 by Doc'sArmy:
from manutd.com
United have announced that they are to face Burnley at Turf Moor in a pre-season
friendly on Tuesday 14 August, kick off 7.45pm. A United XI made up of first team and
Reserve players will face the First Division side four days before the Premiership
opener against Fulham.
---------------------------------
[21] Beckam agrees deal?
---------------------------------
Posted Wednesday, July 4, 2001 by Doc'sArmy:
Peter Kenyon has postponed talks with David Beckham so he can go to London to
negotiate terms with Juan Sebastian Veron's representatives.
"Obviously David Beckham is crucial to United but he understood and there was no
problem about canceling the meeting. The most important thing is he has agreed a new
deal and if he has to wait another couple of days then so be it."
Interesting - we're waiting with baited breasts..
---------------------------------
[20] Wimbledon
---------------------------------
Posted Wednesday, July 4, 2001 by Doc'sArmy:
Our coverage of this year's Wimbledon has been limited due to the generally tedious
procession of seeded players until the later rounds are reached (ring any bells?).
However this story caught our eye......
Apparently a 20-year-old security guard at Wimbledon claims to have been caught
shagging under the stands of the Centre Court.
Dan Wood [fnarrr] says he disrobed and pumped a 19-year-old blonde girl beneath
thousands of fans as the Lleyton Hewitt, Taylor Dent match reached it's errrr...
climax.
Apparently Wood and young lady performed in a stewards rest room when another steward
poked his beady eye through the keyhole and saw the lot.
Wood, from East Grinstead, Sussex said "We got the shock of our lives. It was just a
one-off bonk in the passion of the moment. It seemed like a good idea at the time. We
left the room one at a time. We thought we had got away unseen until we heard the
rumour going round that a steward had caught a naked couple bonking."
Perhaps SPS will be adopting this friendlier "free love" attitude next year?
After you ladies.....
---------------------------------
[19] Massives starting to lose it....
---------------------------------
Posted Wednesday, July 4, 2001 by Doc'sArmy:
...and the season hasn't even started yet
Manchester City's financial saviour:
"I really do believe that David Bernstein and the board are doing a great job. I just
wish City had a serious benefactor. John Wardle and myself have managed to keep the
club afloat but I would love someone to be able to put proper, big money into the
club. What is more, I believed David Bernstein would be the man to make the most of
it,"
"We are not paupers but we are not full of cash either. If you put me in dreamland it
would be a place where United have gone off into Europe to compete in a televised
league and City are back in the top six." [Of Division 1 - yes that's about right.]
---------------------------------
[18] NI on tour
---------------------------------
Posted Wednesday, July 4, 2001 by Doc'sArmy:
United's Under-12 and Under-14 teams are set to compete in a junior tournament in
Northen Ireland.The Fila Foyle competition takes place in Londonderry from July 3
until July 7.
The Under-12's play Irish sides Inishowen and Home Park, along with Aberdeen. The
Under-14's take on Hearts, Bohemians & Down, and Connor.
Cardiff City, Hearts and Nottingham Forest are amongst the other teams taking part.
---------------------------------
[17] Old (young) boys
---------------------------------
Posted Wednesday, July 4, 2001 by Doc'sArmy:
Former United trainee goalkeeper Paul Gibson has joined 2nd Div Chesterfield on trial
after being released by Notts County.
Jon Macken, looks like he will now be staying at Preston alongside fellow Old Trafford
old boy David Healy after Wolves cooled their interest in him.
---------------------------------
[16]Wenger Passes the Arse Flannel
---------------------------------
Posted Wednesday, July 4, 2001 by Doc'sArmy:
Wenger has seemed to pre-empt Vieira's comments of this Thursday. Wenger was implying
that all that Vieira has said this Summer about wanting to leave is complete bunkum.
Is this Vieira's attempt at back tracking or more last minute games from Arsene?
"I have doubts about the behaviour of some so-called big clubs. [Err - like Arse re:
Sol Campbell?] We will try to get to the bottom" [!] "of that and make the right move
when we have all the information. "I have already spoken to Patrick on the phone and
there are some things which must remain secret. [indeed, injunctions at the ready?]
"But I do not judge people on what they say but on what they do on the pitch. "Patrick
has shown tremendous loyalty and commitment. [Err - like Sol Campbell?] I look at
what he has done for us and what he will do in the future and my message is clear -
Patrick will play for Arsenal next year and fight like he always has done for the
club." [Err - like Sol Campbell?]
---------------------------------
[15] Cantona in Norway?
---------------------------------
Posted Wednesday, July 4, 2001 by Doc'sArmy:
Teamtalk reports that two businessmen who have bought the rights to Scandinavian Beach
Football are hoping ot get Eric to play in Norway.
Terje Hoyheim and Henrik Holm are both hoping Eric will fly to their home town of
Bergen to take part and boost interest in the game.
---------------------------------
[14] Veron to sign ..
---------------------------------
Posted Wednesday, July 4, 2001 by Doc'sArmy:
...very soon
Veron is expected to sign any time now - Veron's representatives are having further
talks with chief executive Peter Kenyon today. United are ready to meet Lazio's asking
price for the player, but the delay in tying up the deal could hinge on events at
Highbury.
We've also heard it could be Veron dragging his heals hoping that another club comes
in for him - perhaps somewhere hotter!
---------------------------------
[13] Pally quits
---------------------------------
Posted Wednesday, July 4, 2001 by Doc'sArmy:
Pally has finally given up on his battle against injury and decided to retire from the
game.
He had back surgery after only playing 9 games last season and he was hoping that
would allow him to return for the new season. But now he's decided to knock it on the
head.
Pally:
"I had discussed with Bryan Robson the possibility of playing this year.
Unfortunately, following the back operation, a subsequent injury to a nerve in my foot
has forced me to reluctantly make this decision.
"My specialist has told me that I should make a full recovery in time. I would like to
thank the fans, all the coaching staff and officials for their support. Although this
is a sad day for me, I count myself very lucky to have played my football at the very
highest level whilst playing alongside many world class players. I have many wonderful
memories to look back on."
---------------------------------
[12] McLaren on Pally quitting
---------------------------------
Posted Wednesday, July 4, 2001 by Doc'sArmy:
Steve McClaren said: "Gary has enjoyed a fantastic career as one of the game's best
defenders with Middlesbrough, Manchester United and England. However, Gary's departure
creates an opportunity for us to develop some of our talented, young players.
"On behalf of everyone at the club, I'd like to thank Gary for all his efforts and
wish him all the very best in what ever he decides to do next."
---------------------------------
[11] Now that's Real Money
---------------------------------
Posted Wednesday, July 4, 2001 by Doc'sArmy:
Spanish Radio station, Cope, report that Real Madrid are set to sign Zinedine Zidane
from Juventus for a world record £50m.
Juventus have completed the signing of Italy international Gianluigi Buffon from
Parma in a world record deal for a keeper worth £33m [WHAT?!] and now need to get
some cash back.
50 million quid - unfortunately thats more than double the total annual profits for
Manchester United plc. Say goodbye to your share dividends - or making a serious
challenge in Europe - its up to you - if you are a shareholder that is.
Shareholders United:
(link:http://www.shareholdersunited.org) http://www.shareholdersunited.org
---------------------------------
[10] Massive Dildos?
---------------------------------
Posted Wednesday, July 4, 2001 by redend:
Not a story about the latest hilarious antics of the Maine Road Massives with some new
comedy inflatables to show they are "the best fans in the world".
Cambodia's first sex shop has been closed by police because its sex toys were
"dangerously" large. The owner, Yan Genxin, from Phnom Penh, now faces a 15-year
sentence after his shop was closed on its first day.
Police say some of the sex toys on sale were too big and could have injured Cambodian
women. A police spokesman showed the sex toys to journalists and said: "Look, they are
not going to fit anywhere."
---------------------------------
[9] Burnley Fanzine on Utd "friendly"
---------------------------------
Posted Wednesday, July 4, 2001 by redend:
The claretflag online fanzine reports:
The game is at Turf Moor on Tuesday the 14th of August. So expect thousands of kids
who have no idea where Old Trafford is at the Turf for the game.
[What? They know where Turf Moor is but don't know where OT is?]
But don't expect to see the big stars like Beckham, Stam and Scholes as many
international teams have games on the same evening, so the team will feature mainly
reserve and youth team players and possibly the odd first team player if we are lucky.
The big question is will prawn sandwiches be on sale for the game?
[Nice one]
---------------------------------
[9] Bergkamp: Sol will sort United
---------------------------------
Posted Wednesday, July 4, 2001 by redend:
Bergkamp moistening his unterhosen just at the thought of having Sol tighten up the
Arse defence:
"Speaking of United, I think the best way of explaining the difference Sol's arrival
makes for us is by looking at our 6-1 defeat at Old Trafford last season. That
happened because when we lost players of the calibre of Tony Adams and Martin Keown,
we didn't have equivalent players to come in for them."
[And maybe because we were better than you?]
"That led to problems for us in many games last year. I can't blame the players that
came in for Tony and Martin because they did their best, but we needed something more.
Now we have something more, and Manchester United won't have things their way now."
---------------------------------
[8] Campbell - the missing link
---------------------------------
Posted Wednesday, July 4, 2001 by redend:
Bergkamp is wetting his pants over the arrival of Sol. Talking to icons.com:
"I'd rate Campbell as one of the top three players I've ever played against. When you
consider that I've played for Ajax, Inter Milan and Arsenal and in World Cups and
European Championships, that tells you how highly I think of him.
"It's phenomenal for us at Arsenal that we've signed him. Think about it, next season
we could have a situation where we can leave Tony Adams or Martin Keown on the bench
at times. That would have been unthinkable in the past.
"When you look at the signing of Francis Jeffers, we won't just have a frightening
team next season, we'll have a terrifying bench! This is important, a lot of managers
have admitted being out-psyched by looking at Manchester United's bench in the past.
---------------------------------
[7] More news ....
---------------------------------
Posted Wednesday, July 4, 2001 by Doc'sArmy:
.. to follow later and through into the afternoon.
---------------------------------
[6] Parsimonious Pete on Becks
---------------------------------
Posted Wednesday, July 4, 2001 by Doc'sArmy:
Below are the quotes that apparently have got everyone in tabloid land assuming that
they mean Becks is ready to sign. Now I've read this a couple of times, and I'm
buggered if I can find any specific mention of Mr Posh being ready to get his pen out.
But that's tabloids for you.
Of course it could actually be good news all round and I'm just a pessimistic so and
so!
"We are busily getting our current squad re-signed and that is going to plan," says
chief executive Peter Kenyon.
"We said we'd be there for the start of the season and I am confident we will be."
"We have been working to our schedule and our word on contracts and we are all but
there," he says.
"We are all confident we will get to where we want to be at the start of the season."
---------------------------------
[5] Keep it tuned to this channel
---------------------------------
Posted Wednesday, July 4, 2001 by Doc'sArmy:
Apparently Paddy Harverson, United's Comms Director is back from holiday in the next
few hours, hence the paucity of official club speak recently.
You may have noticed Red News hasn't diminished one iota in our gossip service to you
in this time. Must be the lack of booze the last few days, including our Editor In
Chief who's been drying out in his 6' x 6' Greek "hotel" - only 400 quid a night
(jibbers included)
Expect the volume to be turned up a few notches as regards "official speak" in the
next few days (especially Thursday, fingers crossed).
---------------------------------
[4] Mr Not Quite Big Enough
---------------------------------
Posted Wednesday, July 4, 2001 by Doc'sArmy:
David Makin - city's latest Franny Lee type big time backer and boss of JD Sports....
"I really do believe that David Bernstein and the board are doing a great job. I
just wish city had a serious benefactor." [make a change from all these comedians?]
"John (Wardle) and myself have managed to help keep the ship afloat" [although it's
badly holed and shipping water amid-ships] "but I would love for someone to be able to
put proper, big money into the club. And what is more, I believe David Bernstein would
be the man to make the very most of it." [not Kevin Keegan then?]
"We are not paupers but we are not full of cash either."
"If you put me in dreamland it would be a place where United have gone off into Europe
to compete in a televised league and city are back in the top six of domestic
football."
"I would also like to see radical things done in terms of the club's youth policy. I
am a great believer in it. My business dynamic is create, create, create and that's
what you have to do at youth level in a football club, create talent."
[So Mr "Not Quite Big Enough", aside from kidnapping youth players, all you can say to
attract talent is "Come to city, we're crap, broke, desperate for players, you'll
defintely get a game and the fans will only boo you a few dozen times a season. Not
going to attract the cream of the crop like that are they?]
---------------------------------
[3] C L seedings
---------------------------------
Posted Wednesday, July 4, 2001 by Doc'sArmy:
Blame KD if this is all cobblers ? (We covered this exact story some time ago didn't
we?)
United will be third seed in the Champions League for 2001/2.
Top seed, obviously, are Bayern as holders.
Then, on the UEFA coefficient basis, are Real Madrid. Third are United.
I believe the top 8 seeds - ie the other 7 clubs United CANNOT play in the first group
phase - will be: Bayern, Real, United, Juventus, Arsenal, Roma, Olympique Lyon and
Deportivo La Coruna.
The second seeds - ie United WILL play one of these - are likely (NOT definite!!!) to
be: Spartak Moscow (hopefully not in December away...), Schalke 04, Feyenoord, Sparta
Prague (aaaahhhh), PSV (Ruud versus...), Olympiakos, Nantes and Boavista.
---------------------------------
[2] King Kev's Krap Kat
---------------------------------
Posted Wednesday, July 4, 2001 by Doc'sArmy:
After sacking Red Agent Alex Stepney, who was happier spending time at Old Trafford in
the MUTV studio than trying to keep Weaver off the lard sandwiches, city have
appointed Peter "The Cat" Bonetti as their new goalkeeping coach.
City obviously have a thing for ex rent boy keepers, wonder why?
---------------------------------
[1] Convict arriving on ten pound passage
---------------------------------
Posted Wednesday, July 4, 2001 by Doc'sArmy:
The Aussie who nearly started legal proceedings against Andy Cole after a tackle on
him in a friendly game against the a couple of years ago is signing for the Massives
tomorrow (Wednesday)
Presumably the defender Simon Colosimo has the only qualification the
bitters require in that he hates United. Footballing ability is not a
pre-requisite.
Take Haaland for example.
