[lace] De-lurking

2005-10-22 Thread pamm
Hi All

Recent messages have made me realise just how guilty I am of Lurking. I've been
on the list since 1996 and have hardly posted at all for the last few years. So
to redress the balance here goes for a short report (got to be short as I'm off
to Lace Day in Garrucha in half an hour).

This summer DH and I decided to visit Dutch friends who had moved to France a
couple of years ago. A look at a large scale map showed that their hamlet (3
houses) ia about an hours drive from Le Puy. As this has been on my 'must go
there' list for a long time it seemed to good an opportunity to miss.

3 days driving - it's a long way from southern Spain - (including going over the
fantastic Millau brige) bought us to our destination and peace and quiet in our
friends new home (old farmhouse which they are renovating). Several glasses of
wine later and lots of talking and I found out that Le Puy would not be my only
place to visit. The nearby village of Arlanc also has a Lace Museum so that got
added to the 'must visit' list.

After a couple of days 'chilling out' we set off to Arlanc and what a wonderful
surprise. A small museum dedicated entirely to lace and with a wonderful French
lacemaker to make sure we got the most out of it. Having taken our money, she
accompanied us round the museum explaining the history of the local lace
industry, who the photo's were of and their relevance, pulled out drawers full
of lace which wasn't on display and generaly made sure we hadn't missed
anything. 2 hours passed swiftly and as we left she gave us a lace museum
'passport' which would give us discount on the entry price of other lace
museums in the district.

Rest of report will have to wait till later as it's time for me to leave for
Lace Day... report on that later as well :-)

Pam Mattioli

in sunny Vera Playa in Almeria in the south of Spain

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Re: [lace] torchon

2005-10-22 Thread Jo Falkink
I started with various types of lace from various books, not realising there 
were any particular styles. Torchon wasn't included. Now that I started 
teaching I start with Torchon after a few simple braids.
Some day I found a good affordable sampler explaining the most important 
Torchon elements. I realised I had to make it myself too and started 
halfway: The start was simple enough to be able to guide my students and I 
needed to stay ahead. I started at a point that looked less straight forward 
and where I could work outside in when I reached the end. The sampler 
however had a border only along two sides. One student asked for a border 
all arround. So I looked around for other borders with new elements and 
added that to my sampler. No way I could work outside in any more, so now 
I'm stuck with a sampler missing an odd center. I'm afraid it will remain an 
UFO.


Jo Falkink 


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[lace] Trafalgar

2005-10-22 Thread Elizabeth Ligeti

Greetings to all for the 200th anniversary.

There is a small town about 2 hours drive from Melbourne called Trafalgar, 
and they are celebrating too!!

I believe the Naval Band was going there to perform.

We drove through town last week on our way back from a short holiday, and 
flags were flying!!
(They have a nice Patchwork shop there, too.  - Now under new management, so 
I don't know what it is like since it changed hands.)


Regards from Liz in Melbourne, Oz
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[lace] Honiton lace

2005-10-22 Thread Elizabeth Ligeti
I have been demonstrating at a Bush Festival all day (and more tomorrow!), 
and a lady visited our stand who was recently back from England.  She went 
to Honiton, but could not find any lace to see.  she asked at the Tourist 
bureau where she could find some lace, and they said nowhere.  She knew 
the Lace shop was closed.  I suggested that there might be some at the 
Allhallows Museum, but I was not sure about that.  Next time she goes there 
she will enquire, she said - and check the Internet beforehand!


But I found this strange, - that she could not find any lace to look at in 
Honiton.


I don't think she is a lacemaker, just someone who likes to look at pretty 
lace!  I did point her in the way of Bedford!! (My home town, where I went 
to school!) and the Cecil Higgins, and Bedford Museums, -- but no lace 
in Honiton - what Is the world coming to?!


Regards from Liz in Melbourne, Oz
[EMAIL PROTECTED] 


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Re: [lace] Honiton lace

2005-10-22 Thread Fran Higham
Elizabeth Ligeti [EMAIL PROTECTED]

 I have been demonstrating at a Bush Festival all day (and more tomorrow!),
 and a lady visited our stand who was recently back from England.  She went
 to Honiton, but could not find any lace to see.  she asked at the Tourist
 bureau where she could find some lace, and they said nowhere.  She knew
 the Lace shop was closed.  I suggested that there might be some at the
 Allhallows Museum, but I was not sure about that

There was certainly lots of it in the Allhallows Museum when I was there a
couple of years ago Liz.  There was also a lady demonstating lace making too
in the lace section of the Museum - the lace part of the museum was a
separate and quite distinct section of the Museum and although it is only a
small local museum it has a very nice feel to it.

I remember it well as I made a point of going specifically to Honiton to see
the Museum as my Grt Grandfather was a Lace Manufacturer who was born in the
area.  I got chipped by the man at the counter for buying Midlands bobbins
whilst in Honiton. :-))

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Re: [lace] Re: Irish crochet skirt on eBay

2005-10-22 Thread David Collyer


 Since I'm an Arachne Dowager, with more than 10yrs of seniority and 
tons of


Hey, so am I. Shall we strike a bobbin for the Arachne dowagers ~ or
perhaps a needlepin... :p


Me too - but what on earth do you call a dowager bloke???
David in Ballarat



--
bye for now
Bev in Sooke BC (on Vancouver Island, west coast of Canada)
Cdn. floral bobbins
www.woodhavenbobbins.com

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Re: [lace] Re: Arachne dotage

2005-10-22 Thread bevw
Hi everyone, David
and Tamara

T. wrote:
 
   Since I'm an Arachne Dowager, with more than 10yrs of seniority and

B. wrote:
 Hey, so am I. Shall we strike a bobbin for the Arachne dowagers ~ or
 perhaps a needlepin... :p

D wrote:
 Me too - but what on earth do you call a dowager bloke???

How about 'Arachne gaffer' !
--
bye for now
(B)ev in Sooke BC (on Vancouver Island, west coast of Canada)
Cdn. floral bobbins
www.woodhavenbobbins.com

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Re: [lace] De-lurking

2005-10-22 Thread bevw
Hi everyone and Pam

On 10/22/05, [EMAIL PROTECTED] [EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote:
 Hi All

 to redress the balance here goes for a short report (got to be short as I'm 
 off
 to Lace Day in Garrucha in half an hour).

IIRC, this is the sort of thing people posted lots of, as well as the
ongoing questions about lacemaking, there were write-ups of trips and
visits with other lacemakers  - in effect we are truly celebrating
Arachne right now.
Pam and everyone, write on!
--
bye for now
Bev in Sooke BC (on Vancouver Island, west coast of Canada)
Cdn. floral bobbins
www.woodhavenbobbins.com

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Re: [lace] Re: Arachne dotage

2005-10-22 Thread Barb ETx
Golly I am just short of 8 years on Arachne nice to be young in one area,
at least BarbE ;-D)




From: bevw
  To: David Collyer
  Cc: Tamara P Duvall ; lace Arachne
  Sent: Saturday, October 22, 2005 11:54 AM
  Subject: Re: [lace] Re: Arachne dotage


  Hi everyone, David
  and Tamara

  T. wrote:
   
 Since I'm an Arachne Dowager, with more than 10yrs of seniority and

  B. wrote:
   Hey, so am I. Shall we strike a bobbin for the Arachne dowagers ~ or
   perhaps a needlepin... :p

  D wrote:
   Me too - but what on earth do you call a dowager bloke???

  How about 'Arachne gaffer' !
  --
  bye for now
  (B)ev in Sooke BC (on Vancouver Island, west coast of Canada)
  Cdn. floral bobbins
  www.woodhavenbobbins.com

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  [EMAIL PROTECTED]



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Re: [lace] Re: Irish crochet skirt on eBay

2005-10-22 Thread robinlace
At the museum where I used to work, the real-old-timers (30 years or 
more seniority) called themselves the Gray-hairs.  I know T doesn't 
have any, but I do.  How about you, David and Bev?  Of course, given  
our respective nationalities, I suppose we can also argue over whether 
it's the grey-hairs

Robin P.
Los Angeles, California, USA
(formerly  Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania)
[EMAIL PROTECTED]

- Original Message -
From: David Collyer [EMAIL PROTECTED]
Date: Wednesday, December 21, 2005 10:16 am
Subject: Re: [lace] Re: Irish crochet skirt on eBay

 
   Since I'm an Arachne Dowager, with more than 10yrs of 
 seniority and 
  tons of
 
 Hey, so am I. Shall we strike a bobbin for the Arachne dowagers ~ or
 perhaps a needlepin... :p
 
 Me too - but what on earth do you call a dowager bloke???
 David in Ballarat

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Re: [lace] Honiton lace

2005-10-22 Thread Eve Morton
Hi,

This is the website of the museum. I suppose that it is possible that 
the lady visited on a Saturday afternoon or a Sunday when the museum is 
closed.

http://www.honitonmuseum.co.uk/

Eve
London, UK.

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[lace] s'Gravenmoer

2005-10-22 Thread Steph Peters
On Sat, 22 Oct 2005 10:41:36 -0700, Robin P wrote:
At the museum where I used to work, the real-old-timers (30 years or 
more seniority) called themselves the Gray-hairs.  I know T doesn't 
have any, but I do.  How about you, David and Bev?  Of course, given  
our respective nationalities, I suppose we can also argue over whether 
it's the grey-hairs
I've been on arachne since the year it started.  Dowager sounds dreadful and
hair colours however you spell it isn't great - do I really have to admit
that my brown is now fake?

Anyway, on to things lace.  I'm off to Germany in about a month's time for a
course.  Looking around for something that would be a bit of a challenge,
but not being willing to embark on a large everlasting project, I found the
LOKK book about s'Gravenmoer.  This has both traditional patterns and some
new ones, using interesting threads.  Has anyone made the pattern on page
127 called Changeant?  It uses a thin and thick black thread in the
s'Gravenmoer half stitch and has a light and dark effect depending on which
thread is the worker in different areas.  I want to make it because the
effect is really interesting.  I'd like to use a different colour though,
and I'm wondering if the effect would be less pronounced in a lighter
colour.
--
Error:015: Unable to exit Windows. Try the door.
Steph Peters  [EMAIL PROTECTED]
Tatting, lace  stitching page http://www.sandbenders.demon.co.uk/index.htm

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Re: [lace] decorating book covers with lace

2005-10-22 Thread Diane Z

As a lurker, I'll chime in on this one as I'm an ex bookcover maker.

Weronika, you're right in thinking that lace is too fragile to be wrapped 
around the bottom of a book cover and slid over a shelf.  So just skip the 
edges!.  When I had art, or fragile fabric to use for a turned edge (glued) 
cover, I would always suggest mounting it in some type of frame device.  So, 
make a frame of some type, fabric, ribbon, printed paper wrapped over board 
(or not) and then mount your lace inside of it in some way.  You can always 
use spray adhesive on the lace itself and mount down.  Or, tack it down with 
a needle on a complementary colored cloth, cover with plastic and tuck it 
all under a frame glued to the surface of the binder.


I've found that even though you build up the surface thickness of the cover 
with a framing device, it usually never gets damaged on the book shelf.


Diane Zierold
Lubec, Maine 


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Re: [lace] s'Gravenmoer

2005-10-22 Thread eberhard . dewille
Hello Steph, hello dear Arachneans,

which course in Germany will you take? I am just curious. I won't do any more 
courses this year.
Just popping up  to say, that the first patchwork-course I taught finished this 
week. 4 
ladies sewed pillows in the Logcabin pattern. Last friday finally I started 
teaching 
bobbin lace. 2 ladies started learning bobbin lace from scratch. Another lady 
joined. 
She had taken me to bobbin lace courses when I was a beginner. Due to her 
growing 
family (3 young children) she did not get round to do a lot. Now it is great to 
have her 
in my group. We decided to meet in my living room as long as it is only a few 
ladies.

Today I started on a small pattern myself again, just to have some small 
motives to 
sew on patchwork postcards. 

Have a nice weekend and greetings from the South of Germany,
Martina


Steph wrote:

Anyway, on to things lace.  I'm off to Germany in about a month's time
for a course.  

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RE: [lace] Honiton lace

2005-10-22 Thread Viv Dewar
The Lace Museum at Honiton is a must for anyone who can fit it in to
their trip to Devon (UK). My DH doesn't (and won't!) make lace but he
was fascinated by the quality of the lace and the exhibition thereof. -
Of course I was in heaven!
The museum is small and includes details of local history other than
lace but the volunteers are knowledgible and very friendly. For those
interested in taking up Honiton lace they also have a range of supplies
(bobbins, pillows, and everything!)
Opening times are on the official website - www.honitonmuseum.co.uk -
Please visit them if you can
BTW - I'm a newish but enthusiastic Honiton lace maker without any
financial tie to the museum.
Viv
-Original Message-
From: [EMAIL PROTECTED] [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] On Behalf
Of Fran Higham
Sent: 22 October 2005 14:02
To: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
Subject: Re: [lace] Honiton lace

Elizabeth Ligeti [EMAIL PROTECTED]

 I have been demonstrating at a Bush Festival all day (and more
tomorrow!),
 and a lady visited our stand who was recently back from England.  She
went
 to Honiton, but could not find any lace to see.  she asked at the
Tourist
 bureau where she could find some lace, and they said nowhere.  She
knew
 the Lace shop was closed.  I suggested that there might be some at the
 Allhallows Museum, but I was not sure about that

There was certainly lots of it in the Allhallows Museum when I was there
a
couple of years ago Liz.  There was also a lady demonstating lace making
too
in the lace section of the Museum - the lace part of the museum was a
separate and quite distinct section of the Museum and although it is
only a
small local museum it has a very nice feel to it.

I remember it well as I made a point of going specifically to Honiton to
see
the Museum as my Grt Grandfather was a Lace Manufacturer who was born in
the
area.  I got chipped by the man at the counter for buying Midlands
bobbins
whilst in Honiton. :-))

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Re: [lace] Re: Arachne dotage

2005-10-22 Thread bevw
We're forever young on the Arachne lace list ;)

On 10/22/05, Barb ETx [EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote:
 Golly I am just short of 8 years on Arachne nice to be young in one area,
 at least BarbE ;-D)




--
bye for now
Bev in Sooke BC (on Vancouver Island, west coast of Canada)
Cdn. floral bobbins
www.woodhavenbobbins.com

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[lace] Re Arachne Dotage

2005-10-22 Thread Shirley
T. wrote:
 
   Since I'm an Arachne Dowager, with more than 10yrs of seniority and

And what qualifications do you need  to be an Arachne Dowager?
Shirley in Corio Oz.



[EMAIL PROTECTED]

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Re: [lace] Re: Arachne dotage

2005-10-22 Thread bevw
- have changed the subject from the Irish crochet skirt ;)

On 10/22/05, [EMAIL PROTECTED] [EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote:

 have any, but I do.  How about you, David and Bev?  Of course, given
 our respective nationalities, I suppose we can also argue over whether
 it's the grey-hairs

LOL. but since you ask, no grey or gray. Annoyingly thin at the
forelock, and a badger-like colour scheme of brown/black with white.

--
bye for now
Bev in Sooke BC (on Vancouver Island, west coast of Canada)
Cdn. floral bobbins
www.woodhavenbobbins.com

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Re: [lace] Re Arachne Dotage

2005-10-22 Thread bevw
On 10/22/05, Shirley [EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote:
 T. wrote:
  
Since I'm an Arachne Dowager, with more than 10yrs of seniority and

 And what qualifications do you need  to be an Arachne Dowager?
 Shirley in Corio Oz.


You need to say you're one ;)

--
bye for now
Bev in Sooke BC (on Vancouver Island, west coast of Canada)
Cdn. floral bobbins
www.woodhavenbobbins.com

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Re: [lace] s'Gravenmoer

2005-10-22 Thread bevw
Hi everyone and Steph

On 10/22/05, Steph Peters [EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote:


 new ones, using interesting threads.  Has anyone made the pattern on page
 127 called Changeant?  It uses a thin and thick black thread in the
 s'Gravenmoer half stitch and has a light and dark effect  I'd like to use 
 a different colour though,  and I'm wondering if the effect would be less 
 pronounced in a lighter
 colour.

I looked up the pattern, haven't made this one, but I note that the
thinner thread is metallic vs. the thicker plain thread. I think the
contrast will be just as effective with a lighter colour; either use a
textural difference in the two, as well as size, or go for a metallic
and a solid. Certainly worth trying -  display it against a dark
background. The example in the book is black against white background,
and now that I think of it, it is difficult to see detail on black
textiles, compared to the lighter ones. IOW I think you're on the
right track.

--
bye for now
Bev in Sooke BC (on Vancouver Island, west coast of Canada)
Cdn. floral bobbins
www.woodhavenbobbins.com

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[lace] Visiting Lace places in UK

2005-10-22 Thread Ann Blunden

Dear Arachnids

When I was in UK over August I visited the Fan Museum in Greenwich.  There
were no lace fans on display at that time, as they were having another
exhibition of different fans. There was an unmounted lace leaf on display.
In a way I was disappointed but I realise that Museums have to change their
exhibitions to get in the people.  I went to Dudley and saw the Lace Guild's
Exhibition at the Museum and Art Gallery.  I also went to Nottingham twice
and went to the Lace Place and the Lace Museum. I found the little blue book
that the Lace Guild puts out very good, as it lets you know about lace on
display all over the UK.

Ann Blunden
Australia
[EMAIL PROTECTED]

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Re: [lace] Re: Irish crochet skirt on eBay

2005-10-22 Thread Anne Toney
Queen Mum?

Anne in Austin TX

- Original Message - 
From: David Collyer [EMAIL PROTECTED]
To: bevw [EMAIL PROTECTED]; Tamara P Duvall
[EMAIL PROTECTED]
Cc: lace Arachne lace@arachne.com
Sent: Wednesday, December 21, 2005 1:16 PM
Subject: Re: [lace] Re: Irish crochet skirt on eBay


 
   Since I'm an Arachne Dowager, with more than 10yrs of seniority and
  tons of
 
 Hey, so am I. Shall we strike a bobbin for the Arachne dowagers ~ or
 perhaps a needlepin... :p

 Me too - but what on earth do you call a dowager bloke???
 David in Ballarat

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[lace] RE: Arachne Dowager

2005-10-22 Thread Alice Howell
Where does the 'dowager' classification start?  I joined in 96 -- one year 
after Tamara.  I'll not forget the first day.  It was the day after 
Majordomo computer crashed.  The list was full of What happened? instead 
of lace.  G  It took several days to get back to the main subject.


I learned more through the Lace List than through any single teacher.  It 
also was the cause of my trip to England, which I had never dreamed of 
doing.  The List has been a major part of my lace education.  Keep it up.


And hair color has no application to lacemaking, unless you are making lace 
with hair. G  Hair color can be changed.


Alice in Oregon -- where the sun is shining at the moment.  I think I'll go 
shopping.  I'm in the mood for something new.


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[lace] Re: Arachne's ?

2005-10-22 Thread Tamara P Duvall

On Oct 22, 2005, at 19:01, Anne Toney wrote:


Queen Mum?


in response to David's:


what on earth do you call a dowager bloke???


Love it g But since we can only have one Queen Mum and we're all 
royals (I'm a Duchess, thanks to another old-timer's spellchecker, 
which, unable to deal with Duvall, suggested ducal instead g)... 
Maybe Arachne's ancien regime (if that's the correct spelling - 
Dominique?) would work? All noble, all scheduled for the chop? g 
Alternatively,  Arachne's TOBB - Tough as Old Boots Brigade? Given 
just a twitch to the pronounciation, tub offers itself... :)


As for Shirley's:

And what qualifications do you need  to be an Arachne Dowager?


2 possibilities: A) joined April '95-April '96, which would give us 
just under 100 people.
or B) joined before the Arachne '98 in Nottingham event, which Pat 
Hallam (now of Roseground) had organised for us. There were only about 
200 of us then, but we still made a good showing there, and it was 
great fun putting faces to names; I still have the photo of the entire 
group...


--
Tamara P Duvallhttp://t-n-lace.net/
Lexington, Virginia, USA (Formerly of Warsaw, Poland)

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[lace] Re: check out this lace

2005-10-22 Thread Tamara P Duvall

On Oct 22, 2005, at 0:23, Jenny Brandis wrote:


http://www.users.bigpond.com/jeangoldberg/imagemap.htm#map

click on each picture to see it closer


Really nice... I'd love to own the Green Thumb piece (bottom, left 
hand side). I also approve of her way of thinking in the Feeding 
Political Egos (top left hand side) :)

--
Tamara P Duvallhttp://t-n-lace.net/
Lexington, Virginia, USA (Formerly of Warsaw, Poland)

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[lace] Arachne Dotage ??

2005-10-22 Thread Lee-Ann Withers
Hi all

 

Just realised I am one of these !!  I have been on the list for all this time, 
lurked for a few years while doing other things, but does it still count if I 
unsubscribed for a few months while having a baby ???



T. wrote:
 
   Since I'm an Arachne Dowager, with more than 10yrs of seniority and







Lee-Ann Withers
Waurn Ponds, Geelong, AUSTRALIA
http://au.pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph//my_photos
for my photo album.
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[lace] re: new poem

2005-10-22 Thread lacespider
Yeah Noelene!

You got us all in there! Way to go!

Michele Hitch
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Re: [lace] Re: Arachne's ?

2005-10-22 Thread Alice Howell

At 05:27 PM 10/22/2005, you wrote:

And what qualifications do you need  to be an Arachne Dowager?
2 possibilities: A) joined April '95-April '96, which would give us just 
under 100 people.
or B) joined before the Arachne '98 in Nottingham event, which Pat 
Hallam (now of Roseground) had organised for us. There were only about 200 
of us then, but we still made a good showing there, and it was great fun 
putting faces to names; I still have the photo of the entire group...


Me too.  It's fun to look at the photo and remember that great conference.

I joined in May '96, just after that first 100 people.  I guess I'm in the 
second wave but still fairly early in List history.


The last membership report I remember had about 1200 people on the 
List.  That would not include the people who joined for a while and then 
left.  Over the years, Arachne has touched many people all around the 
world.  I think we have a history to be proud of.  Thanks, Liz, for 
starting it - - and all of you for participating!


Alice in Oregon 


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Re: [lace] Arachne Dotage ??

2005-10-22 Thread bevw
On 10/22/05, Lee-Ann Withers [EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote:

 Just realised I am one of these !!  I have been on the list for all this 
 time, lurked for a few years while doing other things, but does it still 
 count if I unsubscribed for a few months while having a baby ???

Of course it counts ;)
I remember, I remember! I saw your name and 'tasper' in the early messages!
--
bye for now
Bev in Sooke BC (on Vancouver Island, west coast of Canada)
Cdn. floral bobbins
www.woodhavenbobbins.com

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[lace] RE: Honiton lace

2005-10-22 Thread robinlace
I loved visiting the Honiton museum.  I've heard the museum has been 
renovated since I was there (1996) so I don't know how much it's 
changed.  When I was there, there was a room devoted to the lace, and 
such a spectacle  I spent so much time in there!  Just before 
entering the lace room, there was a display of an electric candle 
(lamp that looks like a candle, with a weak, candle-shaped bulb) and 
lacemaker's lamp.  When you pressed a button, the candle lit and the 
globe focused the light into a spot right on the work area of a honiton 
pillow.  A very effective demonstration of the lacemaker's lamp, 
proving they do work.

I also got to meet two lacemakers demonstrating in the room outside the 
lace room and had a lovely chat.  All in all, one of the highlights of 
my trip!

Robin P.
Los Angeles, California, USA
(formerly  Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania)
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- Original Message -
From: Viv Dewar [EMAIL PROTECTED]
 The Lace Museum at Honiton is a must for anyone who can fit it in to
 their trip to Devon (UK). My DH doesn't (and won't!) make lace but he
 was fascinated by the quality of the lace and the exhibition 
 thereof. - Of course I was in heaven!

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[lace] RE: Arachne Dowager

2005-10-22 Thread Dearl Kniskern

dear dowagers and gaffers
I am also included in this list since I joined in oct of 95
I was so thrilled to find something like this on the internet since I had 
just taken my first lesson
and I am still as enthusiastic as I was when I first found all you 
wonderful people

thanks for being there and making my lace lessons wonderful
yours in lace

Dearl
Christiansburg, Virginia, USA
My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
Do not meddle in the affairs of  dragons for you are crunchy, and taste 
good with ketchup.

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http://www.cablenet-va.com/~dearlk/
http://photos.yahoo.com/ladearl 


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[lace-chat] Re: [lace] Trafalgar

2005-10-22 Thread romdom
French joke  : 
the english are weird ...fancy giving their monuments names of defeats :
waterloo station, trafalgar square... ! 

I hope i'm not offending anybody ...i didn't mean to ...  we have as many
jokes about the Brits as they have about the French 

dominique , froggy from the original Paris, France where it's windy and
rainy but not too cold .. on Austerlitz bridge ...VBG...


le 22/10/05 13:19, Elizabeth Ligeti à [EMAIL PROTECTED] a écrit :

 Greetings to all for the 200th anniversary.
 

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Re: [lace-chat] Re: [lace] Trafalgar

2005-10-22 Thread Malvary J Cole

I just came across this - if Nelson was around today he would have problems

Nelson: Order the signal, Hardy.

Hardy: Aye, aye sir.

Nelson: Hold on, that's not what I dictated to the signal officer.  What's 
the meaning of this?


Hardy: Sorry sir?

Nelson (reading aloud): England expects every person to do his duty, 
regardless of race, gender, sexual orientation, religious persuasion or 
disability. What gobbledygook is this?


Hardy: Admiralty policy, Im afraid, sir. We're an equal opportunities 
employer now. We had the devil's own job getting 'England' past the censors, 
lest it be considered racist


Nelson: Gadzooks, Hardy. Hand me my pipe and tobacoo.

Hardy: Sorry sir. All naval vessels have been designated smoke-free working 
environments.


Nelson: In that case, break open the rum ration. Let's splice the main 
brace to steel the men before battle,


Hardy: The rum ration has been abolished, Admiral. Its part of the 
Governments policy on binge drinking


Nelson: Good heavens, Hardy. I suppose we'd better get on with it full 
speed ahead.


Hardy: I think you'll find that there's a 4 knot speed limit in this 
stretch of water.


Nelson: Damn it man!  We are on the eve of the greatest sea battle in 
history. We must advance with all dispatch.  Report from the crow's nest 
please.


Hardy: That wou't be possible, sir.

Nelson: What?

Hardy: Health and safety have closed the crow's nest, sir. No harness.  And 
they said that rope ladder doesn't meet regulations. They won't let anyone 
up there until a proper scaffolding can be erected.


Nelson: Then get me the ship,s carpenter without delay, Hardy.

Hardy: He's busy knocking up a wheelchair access to the bridge, Admiral.

Nelson: 'Wheelchair access? I've never heard anything so absurd.

Hardy: Health and safety again, sir. We have to provide a barrier-free 
environment for the differently abled.


Nelson:  Differently abled! I've only one arm and one eye and I refuse even 
to hear mention of the word. I didn't rise to the rank of admiral by playing 
the disability card.


Hardy: Actually, sir, you did. The Royal Navy is under-represented in the 
areas of visual impairment and limb deficiency.


Nelson: Whatever next? Give me full sail. The salt spray beckons.

Hardy: A couple of problems there too, sir. Health and safety won't let the 
crew up the rigging without hard hats. And they don't want anyone breathing 
in too much salt- haven't you seen the adverts?


Nelson: I've never heard such infamy. Break out the cannon and tell the men 
to stand by to engage the enemy.


Hardy: The men are a bit worried about shooting at anyone, Admiral.

Nelson: What? This is mutiny.

Hardy: It's not that, sir. It's just that they're afraid of being charged 
with murder if they actually kill anyone. There's a couple of legal-aid 
lawyers on board, watching everyone like hawks.


Nelson: Then how are we to sink the Frenchies and the Spanish?

Hardy: Actually, sir, we're not.

Nelson: We're not?

Hardy: No, sir. The Frenchies and the Spanish are our European partners 
now. According to the Common Fisheries Policy, we shouldn't even be in this 
stretch of water. We could get hit with a claim for compensation.


Nelson: But you must hate a Frenchman as you hate the devil.

Hardy: ! wouldn't let the ship's diversity co-coordinator hear you saying 
that sir. You'll be up on disciplinary.


Nelson: You must consider every man an enemy, who speaks ill of your King.

Hardy: Not any more, sir. We must be inclusive in this multicultural age. 
Now put on your Kevlar vest; it's the rules.


Nelson: Don't tell me, health and safety, whatever happened to rum, sodomy 
and the lash?


Hardy: As I explained, sir, rum is off the menu! And there's a ban on 
corporal punishment.


Nelson: What about sodomy?

Hardy: I believe it's to be encouraged, sir.

Nelson: In that case..kiss me Hardy

Malvary in Ottawa

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[lace-chat] Re: Trafalgar

2005-10-22 Thread Tamara P Duvall

On Oct 22, 2005, at 8:45, romdom (Dominique) wrote:


dominique , froggy from the original Paris, France where it's windy and
rainy but not too cold .. on Austerlitz bridge ...VBG...


Yeah, Poles kinda rooted for Napoleon too; I was quite startled to see 
such a different attitude in England (via Georgette Heyer's 
romances)... We were particularly upset when he got whupped at 
Borodino; we had such high hopes for a Poland free of Russia at last...

--
Tamara P Duvallhttp://t-n-lace.net/
Lexington, Virginia, USA (Formerly of Warsaw, Poland)

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[lace-chat] Re: Trafalgar 2

2005-10-22 Thread Tamara P Duvall

On Oct 22, 2005, at 9:14, Malvary J Cole wrote:

I just came across this - if Nelson was around today he would have 
problems [...]


Nelson (reading aloud): England expects every person to do his duty, 
regardless of race, gender, sexual orientation, religious persuasion 
or disability (etc)


Heard in a store today that the newly-issued nickel (5 cent piece) is 
to be recalled - the bison on it looks too male. While it sounds like 
a lot of baloney to me, I can't be absolutely certain it's not true, 
since the amount of absurdity being spouted in public seems to have no 
end...


--
Tamara P Duvallhttp://t-n-lace.net/
Lexington, Virginia, USA (Formerly of Warsaw, Poland)

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