Re: Dealing with disrespectful daughter

2009-05-04 Thread Maureen
The first steps of conflict negotiation is to determine what the problems are on both sides. Have you tried asking your daughter why she is behaving in this way? A reasoned, quiet discussion with her might bring out issues of which you are unaware. When a sweet, loving child turns petulant, the

Re: Dealing with disrespectful daughter

2009-05-04 Thread Dana
getting back to the point here you know, I think that the people who think the fact that she is reading is a sign she is bored may have a point. On Mon, May 4, 2009 at 1:42 PM, Erika L. Walker wrote: > > I wasnt advocating EITHER just for the record. > > On Mon, May 4, 2009 at 3:29 PM, Dana

Re: Dealing with disrespectful daughter

2009-05-04 Thread morchella
i have spanked girls much older then her. you can in fact spank girls well into there mid 30's earlie 40's.. after that i think it may be inappropriate.. ~| Adobe® ColdFusion® 8 software 8 is the most important and dramatic rel

Re: Dealing with disrespectful daughter

2009-05-04 Thread Erika L. Walker
I wasnt advocating EITHER just for the record. On Mon, May 4, 2009 at 3:29 PM, Dana wrote: > you can't spank a girl that age. > ~| Adobe® ColdFusion® 8 software 8 is the most important and dramatic release to date Get the Fr

Re: Dealing with disrespectful daughter

2009-05-04 Thread Dana
you can't spank a girl that age. On Thu, Apr 30, 2009 at 6:17 AM, Erika L. Walker wrote: > > I "think" you are kidding. At least I hope so > > Spanking is one thing. "Bslapping" your daughter at any age is inexcusable > and why some women find it acceptable as adults to be in abusive > relat

Re: Dealing with disrespectful daughter

2009-05-04 Thread Duane
. When she slips take something back. Duane - Original Message - From: "Michael Dinowitz" To: "cf-community" Sent: Wednesday, April 29, 2009 9:16 PM Subject: Dealing with disrespectful daughter > > It falls under the heading of "what can I do".

Re: Dealing with disrespectful daughter

2009-04-30 Thread Erika L. Walker
See?! They just need more dirt! :D Or a sandwich off the ground at a cafe in Calcutta. In the poor section. That'll cure what ails you ;) On Thu, Apr 30, 2009 at 10:26 AM, Michael Dinowitz < mdino...@houseoffusion.com> wrote: > I think you may be right. And it gets them out of the house so I

Re: Dealing with disrespectful daughter

2009-04-30 Thread Michael Dinowitz
There's a limit to reading. Really. Let me put this in perspective. I just got my oldest son (11) a complete digital set of star trek books, almost 600 altogether. I don't know the exact percentage he's already read but it's over 15% and that was all from physical books. Do you want to know what h

Re: Dealing with disrespectful daughter

2009-04-30 Thread Michael Dinowitz
I think you may be right. And it gets them out of the house so I can read more comics. :) On Thu, Apr 30, 2009 at 10:18 AM, G Money wrote: > > Sounds like maybe they need sports! > > And yes, sports is my answer to everything :) > >

Re: Dealing with disrespectful daughter

2009-04-30 Thread G Money
Sounds like maybe they need sports! And yes, sports is my answer to everything :) On Thu, Apr 30, 2009 at 9:01 AM, Michael Dinowitz < mdino...@houseoffusion.com> wrote: > > There's a limit to reading. Really. > Let me put this in perspective. I just got my oldest son (11) a complete > digital s

Re: Dealing with disrespectful daughter

2009-04-30 Thread Erika L. Walker
Certainly - but at least you can say you tried. :) On Thu, Apr 30, 2009 at 10:01 AM, Michael Dinowitz < mdino...@houseoffusion.com> wrote: > On the other hand, she > might just resent any attempt on our part to 'interfere' with her studies. > Minefield time again. :) >

Re: Dealing with disrespectful daughter

2009-04-30 Thread Erika L. Walker
I hadn't thought of that! He makes a valid point. If she's as smart as you and Judith are, I'll bet school is boring her to tears. I never did homework if I could help it. I didn't have to study for tests and I was able to get straight A's or close to it with hardly any effort. And if I really hat

Re: Dealing with disrespectful daughter

2009-04-30 Thread Larry Lyons
>That's what I was gonna ask. When she said "she'd wait for mommy to come >home" it kinda stated that Judith lets her do things you don't - in which >case you aren't on the same page. > >I know it's not cheap - but if you really value your relationship with her >(which we know you do) - go to fami

Re: Dealing with disrespectful daughter

2009-04-30 Thread Michael Dinowitz
Time more than anything else. She gets home after 5 and it could be 7 or 8 before her homework is done (breaks and all). We would have to find something local for her to take and it would be hard with her schedule. On the other hand, the points you brought up are valid and I do (did) have an Aikid

Re: Dealing with disrespectful daughter

2009-04-30 Thread Cameron Childress
I'm not a parent - so feel free to disregard anything I say, but I would say that a kid who won't stop reading books isn't the worst thing in the world. Maybe she doesn't want to do her homework because it's the same lame and boring stuff she already learned in class that day. She may just be se

RE: Dealing with disrespectful daughter

2009-04-30 Thread Scott Stewart
Oakshyre Way Raleigh, NC 27616 (h) 919.874.6229 (c) 703.220.2835 -Original Message- From: Michael Dinowitz [mailto:mdino...@houseoffusion.com] Sent: Thursday, April 30, 2009 9:05 AM To: cf-community Subject: Re: Dealing with disrespectful daughter We are on the same page in essence bu

Re: Dealing with disrespectful daughter

2009-04-30 Thread Erika L. Walker
Most excellent. :) glad to hear it. People always say "this too shall pass" but damn, don't you wish it would hurry up and pass? On the flip side, at least you have the opportunity to talk thru a situation and make it better in some shape or way. I know children and/or parents who have written ea

Re: Dealing with disrespectful daughter

2009-04-30 Thread Michael Dinowitz
We are on the same page in essence but in practice Judith lets the kids get away with a LOT more than I do. She was raised by an overprotective mother who gave everything the benefit of the doubt without thought of the actual situation or logic. Judith is very much the same way with the kids. She

RE: Dealing with disrespectful daughter

2009-04-30 Thread Jacob
That only works for chemical and biological attacks. He needs whips and chains. Just go to our website under the toys section and ;-) -Original Message- From: CFTodd [mailto:cft...@gmail.com] Sent: Wednesday, April 29, 2009 5:28 PM To: cf-community Subject: Re: Dealing with

Re: Dealing with disrespectful daughter

2009-04-30 Thread Michael Dinowitz
Not really. I think the association with homework is due to the timeline from when she gets home till when she should go to sleep. The more time, the more resistance. We've talked to her teachers and they give the same story we know. She's smart and has been using it to coast through her work wit

Re: Dealing with disrespectful daughter

2009-04-30 Thread Erika L. Walker
/me gets out cast iron muffin pan ... On Thu, Apr 30, 2009 at 8:19 AM, G Money wrote: > (Erika...don't hurt me...i'm kidding!) > ~| Adobe® ColdFusion® 8 software 8 is the most important and dramatic release to date Get the F

Re: Dealing with disrespectful daughter

2009-04-30 Thread Erika L. Walker
That's what I was gonna ask. When she said "she'd wait for mommy to come home" it kinda stated that Judith lets her do things you don't - in which case you aren't on the same page. I know it's not cheap - but if you really value your relationship with her (which we know you do) - go to family cou

Re: Dealing with disrespectful daughter

2009-04-30 Thread G Money
On Thu, Apr 30, 2009 at 7:17 AM, Erika L. Walker wrote: > > I "think" you are kidding. At least I hope so > > Spanking is one thing. "Bslapping" your daughter at any age is inexcusable > and why some women find it acceptable as adults to be in abusive > relationships. Sounds like someone ne

Re: Dealing with disrespectful daughter

2009-04-30 Thread G Money
Hey Michael, do the problems always start when school or homework gets mentioned??? Maybe she's having some problems at school that are manifesting themselves at home? Maybe a talk with her teachers could shed some light if your daughter doesn't want to talk about it. I dunnojust throwin' ou

Re: Dealing with disrespectful daughter

2009-04-30 Thread Erika L. Walker
I "think" you are kidding. At least I hope so Spanking is one thing. "Bslapping" your daughter at any age is inexcusable and why some women find it acceptable as adults to be in abusive relationships. On Wed, Apr 29, 2009 at 10:16 PM, morchella wrote: > wait for her to come out of her room

Re: Dealing with disrespectful daughter

2009-04-29 Thread Sam
I recommend Strong Father Strong Daughter if you haven't already read it. Then there's more TV:) Super Nanny is in season, there were several nanny shows around. Might be able to find the ones you need on Hulu or Joost. On Wed, Apr 29, 2009 at 5:16 PM, Michael Dinowitz wrote: > > It falls under

Re: Dealing with disrespectful daughter

2009-04-29 Thread morchella
ok. seriously.. man up MD. wait for her to come out of her room to get breakfast and just Bslap her as hard as you can. SHOUT 'there!' and run away for a bit... that's what i would do if i where on really good drugs..! =] ~| A

Re: Dealing with disrespectful daughter

2009-04-29 Thread Michael Dinowitz
We're very much on the same page. We're looking for something to help and she's out now at a lecture called "hey, mom, can't you see I'm changing? -- understanding and embracing your teenage girl". If I had someone to watch the kids I'd be there with her. If Judith was here she would pull the same

Re: Dealing with disrespectful daughter

2009-04-29 Thread Michael Grant
That's a really rough spot mate. Not to dig too deep, but are you and your wife on the same page with parenting? Would she pull that stuff if mom was home? ~| Adobe® ColdFusion® 8 software 8 is the most important and dramatic re

Re: Dealing with disrespectful daughter

2009-04-29 Thread Michael Dinowitz
She'll be 13 next week. I've talked with her in the past. Her mother talked with her just today after school. It's like a day and night thing. She comes home all happy, sits on my lap and says she has a bump on her head and wants me to feel her scalp to see it. Then she gets up, hits the bathroom

Re: Dealing with disrespectful daughter

2009-04-29 Thread Dana
I think she is looking for a reaction. Don't give her one. She is rebelling as she should at this age. There are worse ways to rebel. Stand up for yourself, calmly, take two aspirin and call me when she is 21. Now, if only I could follow my own advice. As you know, Lara is 16 and gives me fits. O

Re: Dealing with disrespectful daughter

2009-04-29 Thread Michael Grant
To preface this, I have two daughters both under two, so they still think I'm the cats pajamas for now. I think you said she was 12 or 13? Have you just talked to her about it? She's certainly old enough to have a serious conversation about it. Perhaps ask her why she's not respecting you. She mi

Re: Dealing with disrespectful daughter

2009-04-29 Thread Michael Dinowitz
Due to certain financial constraints, we have not been doing 'extra' buying such as one would do at a mall. She knows this, so no threat there. I wish she was unaware of these things, but... Just a moment ago, after telling her to go to her room and go to sleep (an end result of a lng attempt

RE: Dealing with disrespectful daughter

2009-04-29 Thread Justin Scott
> It falls under the heading of "what can I do". When my parents ran out of things to take away, they employed the "sit in the corner and stare at the wall with no talking" technique. Grounding never really worked on me because I was content to sit in my room and read for days on end. Taking ev

RE: Dealing with disrespectful daughter

2009-04-29 Thread Justin Scott
> Take her to the mall and don't buy her anything. LOL, that's classic. I can picture someone taking their daughter to the mall and letting them pick some things out, then at the last minute, "oh yeah, you misbehaved, put all that back, we're going home soon." -Justin ~~~

Re: Dealing with disrespectful daughter

2009-04-29 Thread Casey Dougall
On Wed, Apr 29, 2009 at 8:16 PM, Michael Dinowitz < mdino...@houseoffusion.com> wrote: > > It falls under the heading of "what can I do". I don't spank my kids and > even if I did, you can't spank a girl after a certain age. I can't take > away > privileges because she just laughs it off. Stop he

Re: Dealing with disrespectful daughter

2009-04-29 Thread CFTodd
Duct Tape Michael Dinowitz wrote: > It falls under the heading of "what can I do". I don't spank my kids and > even if I did, you can't spank a girl after a certain age. I can't take away > privileges because she just laughs it off. Stop her from seeing friends? She > sees them in school and that

Dealing with disrespectful daughter

2009-04-29 Thread Michael Dinowitz
It falls under the heading of "what can I do". I don't spank my kids and even if I did, you can't spank a girl after a certain age. I can't take away privileges because she just laughs it off. Stop her from seeing friends? She sees them in school and that's enough for her. She doesn't have a cell