On Sunday 10 Apr 2011 11:07:26 pm Suresh Ramasubramanian wrote: > Bah. Try telling your inlaws that you'd much rather your wife stayed > with YOU for 3 months after the delivery .. doesn't work, it gets > classed under "privilege" > > Tough enough to convince them (successfully) to take her along after the > delivery rather than right after the "seemantam" ceremony (8th month)
In fact this is precisely what I mean. This is what I implied when I wrote (earlier) that societal structures > play a role in one's life before any well meaning individual has the power > to do anything about it his own family. By the time you are old enough and influential enough in your extended family to protest at this, you have already been part of the system which is therefore "tradition" "Society" and good relationships within the extended family demand that you (the husband) absolve youirself of all responsibility to your wife and child during the peri-natal period. I find it absolutely amazing that our society is so hypocritical that it "sends the girl away" to the husband's family after mariage, changes her name and changes the name of her ancestry. And the same society has absolutely no compunction about sending the girl right back to her parents' house for childbirth and the first three months - absolving the husband and his momma and poppa of all responsibility. The girl is thrown about like a hot potato. I think the situation is a farce dignified by the name "tradition". shiv
