Hi Mel, I identify with your neighbour. Luckily, as my children get older, I feel able give them (and me) more space. I used to force myself to give them space, but it really cost me (in worry and stuff like that).
Can you define 'dualistic' please. It's a word I keep coming across that doesn't really mean much to me. I understand you're dealing with an example of it here, but I'm still not grasping it. :-) Beverley. ________________________________ From: Mel <[email protected]> To: [email protected] Sent: Saturday, 28 May, 2011 4:41:12 Subject: Re: [Zen] Newbie - hello & question Deshimaru-sensei spoke of this once. I'll use the example of my next-door neighbor. The man's life revolves very much around his daughter. Truly a father's love for one of his young, but one that could be of terrible consequence should something happen to her. As I observed father and daugher over the years, I asked myself.... - How will he cope with it if something does happen to her? - Will he be able to keep a cool head(and heart) if she puts herself in danger? In the military 30 years ago, I was taught in first-aid so well that all my reactions basically became automatic irrespective of which victim. I know within me to this day that I'm not going to wail like a banshee should any of my family and other loved ones gets into a crisis. Keeping a cool head in good, and bad times, is very much in the realm of zen....and that father's love as I had described above is as dualistic as one gets in this instance I'll use another example here. Parents/couples from the Indian sub-continent have a known reputation (at least here DownUnder) for treating their little children almost like demi-gods. Very..very...wrong-headed. Those of us who I can best describe as normal, functioning human beings can never stop caring about our loved ones...but I'm not sure much of the world's highly emotionally-inclined cultures(eg. Near East, Indian sub-continent, Latin America, Mediterranean region, etc) can understand that about zen's teaching about keeping a cool head at all times For those interested, do check out GENESIS 37:1-36 of the bible. It's a prime example of truly, wrong-headed attachment(plus favouritism) by a man called Jacob for his son Joseph, at the expense of the rest his other sons....plus the consequences... Buddha be praised Mel --- On Fri, 27/5/11, Beverley Huish <[email protected]> wrote: How about attachments to family members and friends (rather than thoughts). Obviously, family members, at core, aren't who they appear to be: how does Zen approach fondness for the illusory personalities of people we care about? Beverley.
