So... I've been in therapy since mid-August dealing with a range of issues and at their core was the fact that I had been molested as a child, not by a family member, not by the Catholic priest I served under for three years as an altar boy, but by two older girls, one female and one male classmate, and as a teenager sexually accosted by grown women in my neighborhood in Detroit. This shit reared it's head this late in life (I'm just a few years short of 50) bringing nothing but chaos. It has destroyed my marriage, wrecked my relationship with my kids, got me in trouble with the law, and brought me to the absolute brink. It's so bad that I'll likely have to pack up my things and moving back to Michigan without my kids, where I'll end up living with my mother and stepfather... At this age.
Denise, this is nothing against you... I've been on this list in one form or another for over 20 years and always have thought highly of you... But these days every time I see a woman talking about rape this and that, as if it's just a female-centric issue, I'm reminded that guys like myself are told to suck it up and shut up... and I get royally pissed. Women in general and society at large is pretty dismissive when it's a male victim of a female but "OMG!!! The horror!!! Something must be done! Teach boys not to rape!!!" when it's a female victim of a male. We're told that we should be happy that such things have happened to us when a girl or grown woman comes at us like that and that if it's a boy your age, well... "you should have just kicked his ass". I've had to sit in silence for decades, telling no one about it until it basically destroyed my life. My mother was devastated when I finally told her, my sisters were in shock especially since one of the older girls was from a family extremely close to us (their mother is godmother to two of my younger sisters), my wife was pissed because I never told her and she had often said I occasionally acted like someone that had been molested; something I always denied. Everyone asked "why didn't you ever say something?" not realizing that when you're only 7 years old you really don't know how to process something like this, and in a society back then in the late 70's where this kind of stuff was viewed as "coming of age" or "just a part of growing up" what was I really supposed to say? Denise, to answer your question I'll ask another: What happens when you're a woman and sexually assault or harass a boy or a man? I'll answer it for you: Usually nothing. The world continues to turn. Maybe it makes the news if you're a celebrity, law maker, or some other type of high profile person but you don't worry; it blows over within a few days because nobody cares. You'll continue to get attached to movies as a director and actor (just don't forget to send your victim his hush money first). You'll probably keep your seat in congress or your position as CEO but even if you do step down nobody looks upon you as a lecherous sexual deviant; somehow you're viewed as the victim. If you're a well known professor you might get suspended but you go back to work when it blows over. If you're one of the few that do get arrested, you get a slap on the wrist and very rarely ever have to register as a sex offender. While I get where the sarcasm comes from, Denise, I just want you to understand that there are victims of this kind of thing that aren't female and perps that are female. Guys like me... we're out here, we just rarely ever talk about it. Typically we're too busy sucking it up to complain. Sorry about the rant y'all. On Sat, Feb 22, 2020 at 6:03 AM Denise Dalphond <denisedalph...@gmail.com> wrote: > What happens when you sexually assault women? You get to be the US > President. Or you get to stay being R Kelly makin all that money. It’s very > common. As a school teacher, it seems that most children in the US are > being molested and abused by at least one family member. That’s what I see. > So it’s a part of our human fabric and almost no one cares. You’re all high > fiving each other every time you hear a new story of a woman gettin hurt. > So sorry for growing you. What were we thinking. > > I like Derrick May’s haircut right now. > > > > On Sat, Feb 22, 2020 at 4:57 AM Andrew Duke <andrewdukecognit...@gmail.com> > wrote: > >> [Posted by Michael James on FB last night]: If you are a victim of rape >> or sexual assault at the hands of Derrick May anywhere in the world, please >> call Tresa Baldas at The Detroit Free Press at 1-313-378-7070. She needs to >> hear your story. Even if you wish to remain anonymous, she needs to hear >> from you. All who have reached out to me, here is a chance to stop this >> from happening to future victims. >> >> Derrick May must be unveiled independent of my actions so that there can >> be no doubt as to the veracity of these claims I have made against him. >> Please do your part. She is a member of the mainstream media and she will >> protect your privacy. >> >> - MJ >> > -- > Denise Dalphond, Ph. D. > ethnomusicologist > schoolcraftwax.work >
