Yes, I know what gaslighting is and that's clearly not what's going on here.
I'll quit with this whole topic. I saw what was written and it set me off. My apologies to you, Denise, for responding the way I did and to the list for even engaging in it. Been listening to a bunch of Boiler Room sets lately. Kenny Larkin, Octave One, and the like. On Sat, Feb 22, 2020 at 3:30 PM Denise Dalphond <[email protected]> wrote: > Ever heard of gaslighting? You’re free to join the #MeToo movement. I > don’t care about yr background. And I don’t care about yr feelings. I like > techno music, though. A lot. I heard a techno song on Ann Arbor radio just > the other day. > > Denise > > On Sat, Feb 22, 2020 at 6:24 PM Mister Jones <[email protected]> > wrote: > >> True, you did say that, but you said much more and it's the rest of what >> you wrote that I take issue with. Men and boys would likely talk more if we >> received the same encouragement and support women did, but we don't... At >> all. We're made fun of when we speak on what's happened. Our harassment >> claims are never taken seriously when it's a woman we're complaining about. >> A man filing a report against a female rapist is likely to be laughed out >> of the station (this isn't speculation, it's documented to have happened). >> So we keep it to ourselves and tough it out because, like male victims of >> domestic abuse, there's zero support for us. >> >> Is it really brave when you have the support of a whole community >> standing behind you to come forward? Or is it brave when you stand up and >> do it completely alone? >> >> On Sat, Feb 22, 2020 at 2:52 PM Denise Dalphond <[email protected]> >> wrote: >> >>> I said most children have been molested by at least one family member. >>> Gender neutral. I’m well aware that females molest and abuse people. >>> >>> Men should talk about it more. But it’s scary. Which leads me to >>> remember how brave women are. Because we talk about that stuff. >>> >>> >>> >>> On Sat, Feb 22, 2020 at 3:15 PM Mister Jones <[email protected]> >>> wrote: >>> >>>> So... I've been in therapy since mid-August dealing with a range of >>>> issues and at their core was the fact that I had been molested as a child, >>>> not by a family member, not by the Catholic priest I served under for three >>>> years as an altar boy, but by two older girls, one female and one male >>>> classmate, and as a teenager sexually accosted by grown women in my >>>> neighborhood in Detroit. This shit reared it's head this late in life (I'm >>>> just a few years short of 50) bringing nothing but chaos. It has destroyed >>>> my marriage, wrecked my relationship with my kids, got me in trouble with >>>> the law, and brought me to the absolute brink. It's so bad that I'll likely >>>> have to pack up my things and moving back to Michigan without my kids, >>>> where I'll end up living with my mother and stepfather... At this age. >>>> >>>> Denise, this is nothing against you... I've been on this list in one >>>> form or another for over 20 years and always have thought highly of you... >>>> But these days every time I see a woman talking about rape this and that, >>>> as if it's just a female-centric issue, I'm reminded that guys like myself >>>> are told to suck it up and shut up... and I get royally pissed. Women in >>>> general and society at large is pretty dismissive when it's a male victim >>>> of a female but "OMG!!! The horror!!! Something must be done! Teach boys >>>> not to rape!!!" when it's a female victim of a male. We're told that we >>>> should be happy that such things have happened to us when a girl or grown >>>> woman comes at us like that and that if it's a boy your age, well... "you >>>> should have just kicked his ass". I've had to sit in silence for decades, >>>> telling no one about it until it basically destroyed my life. My mother was >>>> devastated when I finally told her, my sisters were in shock especially >>>> since one of the older girls was from a family extremely close to us (their >>>> mother is godmother to two of my younger sisters), my wife was pissed >>>> because I never told her and she had often said I occasionally acted like >>>> someone that had been molested; something I always denied. Everyone asked >>>> "why didn't you ever say something?" not realizing that when you're only 7 >>>> years old you really don't know how to process something like this, and in >>>> a society back then in the late 70's where this kind of stuff was viewed as >>>> "coming of age" or "just a part of growing up" what was I really supposed >>>> to say? >>>> >>>> Denise, to answer your question I'll ask another: What happens when >>>> you're a woman and sexually assault or harass a boy or a man? >>>> >>>> I'll answer it for you: Usually nothing. >>>> >>>> The world continues to turn. Maybe it makes the news if you're a >>>> celebrity, law maker, or some other type of high profile person but you >>>> don't worry; it blows over within a few days because nobody cares. You'll >>>> continue to get attached to movies as a director and actor (just don't >>>> forget to send your victim his hush money first). You'll probably keep your >>>> seat in congress or your position as CEO but even if you do step down >>>> nobody looks upon you as a lecherous sexual deviant; somehow you're viewed >>>> as the victim. If you're a well known professor you might get suspended but >>>> you go back to work when it blows over. If you're one of the few that do >>>> get arrested, you get a slap on the wrist and very rarely ever have to >>>> register as a sex offender. >>>> >>>> While I get where the sarcasm comes from, Denise, I just want you to >>>> understand that there are victims of this kind of thing that aren't female >>>> and perps that are female. Guys like me... we're out here, we just rarely >>>> ever talk about it. Typically we're too busy sucking it up to complain. >>>> >>>> Sorry about the rant y'all. >>>> >>>> On Sat, Feb 22, 2020 at 6:03 AM Denise Dalphond < >>>> [email protected]> wrote: >>>> >>>>> What happens when you sexually assault women? You get to be the US >>>>> President. Or you get to stay being R Kelly makin all that money. It’s >>>>> very >>>>> common. As a school teacher, it seems that most children in the US are >>>>> being molested and abused by at least one family member. That’s what I >>>>> see. >>>>> So it’s a part of our human fabric and almost no one cares. You’re all >>>>> high >>>>> fiving each other every time you hear a new story of a woman gettin hurt. >>>>> So sorry for growing you. What were we thinking. >>>>> >>>>> I like Derrick May’s haircut right now. >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> On Sat, Feb 22, 2020 at 4:57 AM Andrew Duke < >>>>> [email protected]> wrote: >>>>> >>>>>> [Posted by Michael James on FB last night]: If you are a victim of >>>>>> rape or sexual assault at the hands of Derrick May anywhere in the world, >>>>>> please call Tresa Baldas at The Detroit Free Press at 1-313-378-7070. She >>>>>> needs to hear your story. Even if you wish to remain anonymous, she needs >>>>>> to hear from you. All who have reached out to me, here is a chance to >>>>>> stop >>>>>> this from happening to future victims. >>>>>> >>>>>> Derrick May must be unveiled independent of my actions so that there >>>>>> can be no doubt as to the veracity of these claims I have made against >>>>>> him. >>>>>> Please do your part. She is a member of the mainstream media and she will >>>>>> protect your privacy. >>>>>> >>>>>> - MJ >>>>>> >>>>> -- >>>>> Denise Dalphond, Ph. D. >>>>> ethnomusicologist >>>>> schoolcraftwax.work >>>>> >>>> -- >>> Denise Dalphond, Ph. D. >>> ethnomusicologist >>> schoolcraftwax.work >>> >> -- > Denise Dalphond, Ph. D. > ethnomusicologist > schoolcraftwax.work >
