Jeron,
I couldn't agree more with everything that Barbara said. You shouldn't shut those out who love and care about you. I think you should get in touch with Dr. ASAP. It sounds as if you are going through withdrawal with the added depression. There is so much that you can do - write congress with the problems that we face not only with our TM problems, BUT now is a great time to hammer away at Congress for the oil spill, the Financial Reform, or whatever you feel strongly about; the up coming mid term elections will allow us to donate time in calling or sending info out, etc. These are things that I know that I can do when and if I feel like it from one day to another. I crochet - it takes me a month or so to finish one afghan because of my hands cramping up so some days I can only work on it for 15 min. or less. I donate the afghans to a group here that hands them out to people in the homeless, hospitals and nursing homes. Perhaps you could do some kind of wood working such as bird houses or such and then donate them or just hang them for your own enjoyment. Do you have a pet? I would be lost without my little boy, Zeus. He's a mighty 7 lbs. of joy and love. He really is the only reason that I get up some days. I have been divorced for 25 years and live by myself. It is really difficult sometimes especially when I don't have the money to have someone come in and help. I went shopping yesterday and this is my "chill" day because I am so exhausted. I can get most of the groceries in, especially those that need the fridge or freezer but I still have a couple of bags out in my van which I'll bring in in the next 2 or 3 days. I always said that if I became ill with a terminal or devastating disease, I'd drive myself off a cliff. But, now with TM, I've rethought that. There are things that I can do. Some days, I have to force myself to get up to feed my Zeus and myself, I hurt so bad that all I want to do is just knock myself out and sleep just to keep from having to deal with the pain. Days like that, I am glad that I am alone because I don't have to worry or answer to anyone. Please don't give up - you can't let TM win. Life is short! Break the rules! Forgive quickly! Kiss slowly! Love truly, Laugh uncontrollably . And never regret anything that made you smile. Prayers and thoughts for you and yours, Candy K. ----- Original Message ----- From: "Barbara H." <barbara...@gmail.com> To: "j ra" <rumc...@hotmail.com> Cc: "Transverse Myelytis" <tmic-list@eskimo.com> Sent: Thursday, May 20, 2010 11:31:16 AM GMT -05:00 US/Canada Eastern Subject: Re: [TMIC] alive I am thinking of someone I knew with cancer who felt that only someone else with cancer could truly understand what he was going through. While that is true on one level, on another it wounded his wife that he seemed to be shutting her out. I would urge you not to shut others out of your life. If my husband was the one with TM and he shut me out, even in an effort to spare me pain, it would be devastating to me.That's what "for better or for worse, in sickness and in health" is all about -- pulling together, supporting each other through the hard times as well as enjoying the good times. It bothers me when any of my loved ones considers themselves a "burden." It's usually not good to quit some of these medications suddenly. I would see your doctor and see about trying different kinds or combinations to see if you can't get better relief. Barbara H. On Thu, May 20, 2010 at 4:10 AM, j ra < rumc...@hotmail.com > wrote: Have anyone of you ever wondered what it would be like without this? I've put so much pressure on my family that I now know what loneliness feels like. I haven't seen my wife for months and I prefer it this way. I have so much pain and it's mine and mine alone to bear. I have fibromyalgia, vasculitis and TM.....and I just quit pain meds one week ago....just to see what it all feels like again. I'm suffering from withdrawal symtoms of valium, nuerontin, cymbalta and seroquel all at the same time. I'm just about given up hope.....what's the use...I can't even feel the earth underneath my feet anyway, with or without them. I've decided to live until death with the pain and the agony....be it alone or with my shadow. I love my wife too much to see her cry again for me in a hospital bed...so I've decided to go it alone....no cure...no questions...no more burden to my loved ones. I now live alone and try to get by each day....one day at a time, until the end.....I give up! Sorry to all of you who have been there before for me. Jeron Hotmail: Trusted email with powerful SPAM protection. Sign up now.
