> > Hi Jeron, > I hear you. Before I was hit with NMO I was a distance walker. It was my absolute passion and I always did between 6-10 miles every day. It was my medicine, my high. I hiked, rode horses, worked with animals both domestic and wild. In one fell swoop it was all over. Very tough for me to deal with.
Like you, I am now going though my journey of illness without my family, and that is by CHOICE. No one knows what it's like to be in my skin as no two people perceive quality of life in the same way. My children and ex husband of 35 years, know that I'm ill with NMO and that it's serious---but that is all that they know. I will admit to being very open with my best friend. Why her and not the family? Because she *gets* me. She doesn't pity me. (God bless her for that.) Whenever I am hospitalised I do not usually tell my family, and if my children happen to become aware, I do NOT allow them to see me. There is no way that I want them to ever see me flat on my back paralyzed with catheters hanging out of my neck. My two daughters (I also have a son, but he was in Denver at the time.) witnessed that scene five years ago whenever I first got hit and it traumatized them. So did the first year and a half whenever my older daughter had to move in with my youngest and I in order to care for me. I talk to them frequently on the phone and see my youngest often as she is still currently living in the area while her husband it deployed. That being said, I do not allow my illness to ever enter into their lives. Others may choose to do things differently, but that is their own personal choice. If I am ever depressed and/or feel the need to cry---and that's something that I rarely do---I do it privately. My reasons may be different from yours, but for now it seems that we have chosen the same path, and there is certainly nothing wrong with it. The best, Grace
