--------------------------------- [20] Beware of betting, Greek Gifts! --------------------------------- Posted Friday, October 26, 2001 by Doc'sArmy:
[Ed: Another entertaining if bewildering emission from the quill of Alex Plypin for his growing army of fanatical Plypinites] I know that the first group stages are intended to ensure that all but the most hapless of sides 'qualify' for the Ueseless Cup - the main jewel in the crown that was last season's ( http://www.ThePlasticTreble.co.uk ) "Historic Treble". So prestigious is this trophy, that the self-proclaimed British Champions (even though we won on aggregate) are now learning the hard way. Rolling over the likes of Motherwell and Hearts on a regular basis, is the equivalent of jogging up the stairs a couple of times, to prepare for a marathon. Having said that, 2 very ordinary results (why do cockneys go on about 'getting a result' when they mean avoiding defeat? The last time that I looked, a defeat is a result - if a not particularly favourable one!) meant that nerves were fraying a little before the Olympiakos game. In similar circumstances a month ago, ingerlund were playing a Greek side with nothing to lose, and - on this occasion - a draw was simply not good enough. There was a fairly healthy turn-out at the ST&LC (Stretford Trades & Labour Club to the untutored), where it became known that the steward/stewardess were packing their bags. Merde alors! A quelle heure ouvrirent les patrons nouveaux a Samedi? This means a trip to St. Ann's, for bacon butts and Liffey Water, prior to our joust against the dung beetles! [Ed: Presumably a reference to the sheep] Tom arrived late (so!), and Mick Brown even later - to a rather uncomfortable reception. Well, I'd walked the Winning Ways [Ed: Plypin's perambulatory equivalent of lucky pants], and we still got a bad result against the trotters - but Mick was there and he hasn't been to the match for many a year. In more enlightened times, people were burned at the stake for suspicion of less. Fortunately for him, the canal was too far away for a ducking, so the only items to get a roasting were Madge's chicken legs - or rather the chicken legs roasted by Madge. So, once more, The Winning Ways it had to be - 1500 steps in all, give or take - followed by 7 x 14 steps to reach the summit that is now Tier Two. With 4 home games in less than a fortnight, my thighs are starting to resemble those of Mark Hughes - and my lugs those of Billy Beaumont (WHAT!? You're going to THAT football - AGAIN?). Reasonably satisfied that angles of adversity had been safely covered, I settled down in hopeful anticipation of a good result. But, who is sat next to me? Not my normal neighbour, the 6' 8" beanpole from Brighton - but Jonah, of IMUSA! It was one of those moments, where you hoped that the whale had kept its gob shut. Anyway, as the match progressed, the Stretford End - in particular - got more edgy and vociferous. Once Ruud stepped up to take that pen, it was game over - similarly when Juan Seba curled it round the wall, only to see it bounce out from the inside of the post. I have never been a particular aficionado of the hopscotch formation, and much prefer to see 2 strikers - and 2 wingers when we are at home. Once more, Ole came on and did the biz, and Flyin' Ryan almost lived up to his name - for once - and bagged an unlikely 2nd in the last minute. That's it, said Jonah in injury time - evidently off for a gargle. 'I've had a fiver at 19-1 on Giggsy to score the last goal - see you later.' He was probably still within earshot, when his ton turned to scrap paper - What's in a name? Alex [Ed: A Red News dictionary of Plypinisms is in the pipeline] --------------------------------- [19] Odds for Saturday --------------------------------- Posted Friday, October 26, 2001 by Doc'sArmy: RedHotTip has the following advice ahead of Saturday's match: "Have a punt you stingy c*nt." Well nobody can deny those words of wisdom flowing from his huge goblet. JOHN CLEESE SPECIALS - EH? Eirik The Viking - Eirik Bakke To Score At Anytime v Man Utd Eirik The Viking 9/2 Time Bandits - Man Utd To Score In Either Half Injury Time Time Bandits 9/2 The Holy Grail - Charlton To Come From Behind To Beat Liverpool The Holy Grail 7/1 Fierce Creatures - 2 Or More Sendings Off In Any Saturday Match Fierce Creatures 3/1 UNITED TO WIN RedHotTip says: Not worth a bet on us unless you've got a large packet (of dosh) or go for a multiple bet. Manchester United 4/5 Leeds 3/1 Draw 9/4 Line a bookie's pocket (or maybe even your own) ( http://www.sportingodds.co.uk/adserver/scripts/ict.dll?click?rnews0 ) here YOU KNOW THE SCORE ... RedHotTip: 3-1 to United ... change the record Manchester Utd v Sheep - Correct Score 1-0 6/1 2-0 6/1 2-1 7/1 3-0 12/1 3-1 11/1 3-2 25/1 4-0 33/1 4-1 33/1 4-2 50/1 Empty your bank account here ( http://www.sportingodds.co.uk/adserver/scripts/ict.dll?click?rnews0 ) here HALF TIME : FULL TIME RedHotTip: Classic United? Us to come from behind (Mrs): Half Time : Sheep, Full Time - United 25/1. Worth 50p of anyone's money (well yours preferably). Manchester United : Manchester United 13/8 Manchester United : Draw 16/1 Manchester United : Sheep 25/1 Draw : Manchester United 4/1 Draw : Draw 4/1 Draw : Sheep 8/1 Sheep : Manchester United 25/1 Sheep : Draw 16/1 Sheep : Sheep 5/1 Blow the rent money - click me ( http://www.sportingodds.co.uk/adserver/scripts/ict.dll?click?rnews0 ) here FIRST GOALSCORER RedHotTip: Once again odds on Blanc obtained by special request from RHT - Blanc 33/1. Still good odds for a man who is our main threat at corners especially as Ronnie's out for the next few months. He's got to pull it off at some point (we only used to get a half time orange - that joke has now made more appearances then David May) R.Van Nistelrooy 4/1 A.Cole 5/1 O.Solskjaer 5/1 D.Yorke 7/1 P.Scholes 7/1 D.Beckham 10/1 R.Giggs 12/1 J.Veron 12/1 L.Chadwick 16/1 N.Butt 25/1 D.Irwin 33/1 L.Blanc 33/1 W.Brown 50/1 M.Silvestre 50/1 G.Neville 50/1 P.Neville 50/1 Scorecast RedHotTip: How about Veron to score first and United to win 3-1 81/1 or Beckham & 2-1 to United 66/1 For others see ( http://www.sportingodds.co.uk/adserver/scripts/ict.dll?click?rnews0 ) here. FREE BETS - FOR NEW PUNTERS If you haven't opened an account with Sporting Odds yet new punters get 2 Free bets - The first is a Free £10 bet on who will be shown the first card in the game between Liverpool and Manchester United on Nov 4th. The 2nd is a tenner on the FA Cup after 20 quids worth of bets ... or something - bollocks to that though. With us at Anfield its got to be a United player - and surely Gary (He Hates Scousers) Neville will outperform Keano under these circumstances with a pre-emptive strike and plenty of collateral damage. Bets from 50p are allowed - with minimum initial credit of a fiver or a tenner depending on account type. Winnings (what are they?) can be re-credited direct to your account through your bank card (Switch/Delta etc). DON'T BE SHY - SLIP IT IN( http://www.sportingodds.co.uk/adserver/scripts/ict.dll?click?rnews0 ) HERE.
