Daily News From RED NEWS - http://www.rednews.co.uk
--------------------------------- [27] Joke of the Day --------------------------------- Posted Monday, October 29, 2001 by redend: An old one but it seems to be doing the rounds again so not wishing to be left out .... A primary school teacher starts a new job at a school on Merseyside and, trying to make a good impression on her first day, explains to her class that she is a Liverpool fan. She asks her students to raise their hands if they, too, are Liverpool fans. Everyone in the class raises their hand except one little girl. The teacher looks at the girl with surprise and says: "Mary, why didn't you raise your hand?" "Because I'm not a Liverpool fan," she replied. The teacher, still shocked, asked: "Well, if you're not a Liverpool fan, then who are you a fan of?" "I'm a Manchester Utd fan, and proud of it," Mary replied. The teacher could not believe her ears. "Mary, why, pray tell, are you a Utd fan?" "Because my mum and dad are from Manchester, and my mum is a United fan and my dad is a United fan, so I'm a United fan too!" "Well," said the teacher, in a obviously annoyed tone, "that's no reason for you to be a United fan. You don't have to be just like your parents all of the time. What if your mum was a prostitute and your dad was a drug addict and car thief, what would you be then?" "Then," Mary smiled, "I'd be a Liverpool fan." [Thanks to Howsey & PaddyO for resurrecting that one.] --------------------------------- [26] If you missed it before ... --------------------------------- Posted Monday, October 29, 2001 by redend: ... don't forget to check the weekend news too. Keep scrolling down. --------------------------------- [25] Strach snubs Superstar --------------------------------- Posted Monday, October 29, 2001 by redend: Gordon Strachan, now at St Mary's, (not the hospital - the new Southampton ground) has decided against snapping up David May as his first signing. Chairman Rupert Lowe agreed a £500K fee with United for May, who is now 31. Lowe said: "The player was on a big wage [what do you expect of a superstar?] and we had to try and find a way of bringing him into line with our structure. We got close but that fell through as a result of the change of manager. We offered it to Gordon Strachan but he didn't want the player." --------------------------------- [24] Nightmare on Lille Street --------------------------------- Posted Monday, October 29, 2001 by redend: RN Exclusive - French Horror Show is on the cards Now don't laugh - but news reaches us from our French snout that all Lille supporters will be dressed in "special Halloween clothes" on Wednesday. This is one of the oldest traditions in French football and especially in Lille, a way to celebrate this great day! Mind you - the state of dress of the RN team is always pretty horrific - especially by day 3 of a Euro away. What exactly is that stain on your trousers? Don't ask. --------------------------------- [23] Do not feed the goat --------------------------------- Posted Monday, October 29, 2001 by redend: city fluked a draw last night after Forest keeper Ward rolled the ball out to his defender who had his back to his goal and didn't clock what was going down. Ward, browning it, tried to scramble the ball but slipped and failed to gain his ground - not having the sure footedness of a mountain goat. Goater could not believe his luck and ran up to hoof the simplest of chances into the net. --------------------------------- [22] Manchester 2003 --------------------------------- Posted Monday, October 29, 2001 by redend: A bid has been put in for Old Trafford to host the UEFA Champions League final in 2003. UEFA have announced that OT is one of 9 stadia in the running. The other candidates include the Feyenoord stadium in Rotterdam, Madrid's Santiago Bernabeu stadium, the Stade de France in Paris, the Amsterdam Arena, and the Gottlieb-Daimler stadium in Stuttgart, the Luzhniki stadium in Moscow, FC Schalke 04's Arena Aufschalke and Hamburger SV's Volksparkstadion. Uefa will make their decision in December. Uefa's Director of Communications Mike Lee said: "Uefa staff are now in the process of analysing the bids and carrying out site surveys of all the proposed stadia. "The Executive Committee will then receive a detailed evaluation report in order to make the final decision at its December meeting." Oh and Villa are bidding to host one of the minor cups that made up Liverpools ( http://www.theplastictreble.co.uk ) Plastic Treble last season - in case you're interested. Thought not. --------------------------------- [21] Gallagher Relegated --------------------------------- Posted Monday, October 29, 2001 by redend: Its Official : Gallagher was shite Saturday's ref- Dermot Gallagher - has been dropped from the Premiership Referee's list after what can only be described as a piss-poor performance in the match v Leeds. The failure to dismiss Robbie Keane for a cast iron red card offence for his lunge / push in Beckham's face was his downfall. In my mind there was never any doubt Keane would go - it was just a matter of whether he tried to "even things up" by making Becks's a red too. But that was only the hihlight (or should that be lowlight) of his performance. On top of that he failed to punish Leeds for some bad fouls and in particular for some cynical professional fouls when United were on the break. And just to compound it he also failed to play the advantage on several occasions one of which had put Ruud clean through to slip it in. (Its amazing how clear the memory is when it hasn't been polluted by a gallon or so before kick off with these morning matches). Gallagher, who is from Oxfordshire, will now be hauled in to face FA referees' manager Philip Don and will then be told the length of his suspension from the top flight. FA Statement "It is disappointing that Dermot Gallagher did not correctly interpret the situation involving David Beckham and Robbie Keane in Saturday's game between Manchester United and Leeds United. Dermot Gallagher will be required to discuss this incident with the Select Group Referees manager (Philip Don). "He (Gallagher) will not be offered appointments for a period to be determined by the Select Group members, on behalf of the Professional Game Match Officials Board." They did not go on to say "Lets face it Dermot was shite on Saturday. In fact he was so bad we were checking his phone records for calls from Leeds or the Far East." So what's going on - a ref has an appalling game bordering on the "suspicious" and the FA actually do something about it. Of course this will now feature on all the ABU phone-ins with muppets from all over, ringing in to say how come it only happens when a ref fails to send off a "ManU" player. Obviously neglecting to mention that it is of no benefit to us whatsoever what division Gallagher refs in and its little consolation when Leeds should have been down to 10 men before they scored. --------------------------------- [20] Who has been a naughty boy then --------------------------------- Posted Monday, October 29, 2001 by bar-knee: As punishment for Saturday's woeful performance rumours are that ref Dermot Gallagher will have to do a stint reffing the Nationwide League games. --------------------------------- [19] Eire boss wants Keano update --------------------------------- Posted Monday, October 29, 2001 by bar-knee: Republic of Ireland boss Mick McCarthy "To date I have not spoken to Roy or Alex but have heard all the reports from home about Keane's knee problem. I am delighted that Alex will be happy to do his best to allow Roy to play in one of our most important World Cup games in years. I know that Roy is desperately keen to lead his country to the World Cup finals in Japan and South Korea next summer. Hopefully with 12 days remaining before the first match at Lansdowne Road, he can overcome his injury problems." --------------------------------- [18] Who are you? --------------------------------- Posted Monday, October 29, 2001 by bar-knee: Ex Arse striker Alan Smith "With goals being conceded at an unprecedented rate and Blanc looking far from sure under pressure, a feeling exists that (Sir Alex) Ferguson has made a rare error of judgement. The French veteran has not lent a new dimension to the side by surging forward in possession, neither has he plugged the few gaps that previously existed at the back. On the contrary, his introduction has added a certain amount of confusion, rendering the champions more vulnerable to pace on the counter-attack." --------------------------------- [17] Hampden will host Euro final --------------------------------- Posted Monday, October 29, 2001 by bar-knee: Scottish Football Association spokesman Andy Mitchell "We have had no indication from Uefa that we might lose the final - absolutely not. There is a full programme of renewal work in place that would, if necessary, see new turf laid next April to ensure the pitch is in good condition for the Scottish Cup final and the Champions League final. Uefa look at all aspects of the stadium and regular meetings are held. There has been no threat along those lines. We expect that the pitch will be in pristine condition for the final." --------------------------------- [16] Who would have thought --------------------------------- Posted Monday, October 29, 2001 by bar-knee: That 19 managers have already been sacked this season - and not one of them is from city! (yet...) --------------------------------- [15] Nigel Martyin bombarded --------------------------------- Posted Monday, October 29, 2001 by bar-knee: "They just came at us and threw everything forward. We've done well against everybody and we are still unbeaten." --------------------------------- [14] More from O'Dreary --------------------------------- Posted Monday, October 29, 2001 by bar-knee: "I'm disappointed because when we got the goal we sat back and I wanted us to go from there. I felt we should have won the game because we were controlling the game. This is why we've got to mature and we've got many years yet to do that. They are a fantastic bunch of lads who give everything for me. There's great spirit here, believe me, there's a great hunger. It was disappointing in many ways because you are leaving yourself in the hands of how the referee interprets it. If the referee had given him a red card you would have to accept it. I said to him afterwards that he should learn and walk away. We are unbeaten even with the tough programme we've had and I'm pleased and delighted for the players because they deserve it. We've got a chance (of the title) but the priority is for the Champions League and we can do that." --------------------------------- [13] Fergie on Saturday --------------------------------- Posted Monday, October 29, 2001 by bar-knee: "The main talking point obviously is whether Robbie Keane should have been sent off. For me it is not a debate, there is a new edict this year if you raise your hands you are off and the referee failed to do that. I don't think Robbie Keane is that type of player but he should have gone. It was silly of the boy, he is not that type of player. It is just spur of the moment temperament, who knows? I never saw the Ince incident the other night but I am told it was less than that." --------------------------------- [12] Very early team news --------------------------------- Posted Monday, October 29, 2001 by bar-knee: Sami Hyypia expected to be fit for the Mickeys at the weekend. Phil Honkson: "I think the midweek Champions League game with Borussia Dortmund might just be too early for him. But although these type of injuries can take weeks to heal, we're very optimistic Sami will be ready within 10 days." --------------------------------- [11] Fergie on Ole --------------------------------- Posted Monday, October 29, 2001 by bar-knee: "We can thank the man again. He is phenomenal. I think the asset he's got is not that he is merely a great finisher. He has the ability to study a game before he comes on, to look at it, know the state of play when he comes on to the field. That's his biggest asset. A lot of players watch a game of football but maybe don't pay attention to it. He pays attention all the time. You can ask him a detail of the game while it's going on and he'll tell you. That's great credit to him." --------------------------------- [10] Great Dane tips United --------------------------------- Posted Monday, October 29, 2001 by bar-knee: Peter Schmeichel: "We have had a good start to the season and we have been rewarded by now sitting on top of the league. I feel I am enjoying things more than I ever did before and we have worked very hard to get into this position. We've got 21 points in the bag already and we should be proud of what we have done since August. But in terms of the title I still tip Manchester United to win it. Whatever some people might say. I think they look strong. I know they have come in for some criticism, particularly after leaving it late to win their Champions League game last week. But even in that game some of their football and passing was fantastic and for me the players they have there are some of the best in the world." --------------------------------- [9] More pre-season gossip --------------------------------- Posted Monday, October 29, 2001 by bar-knee: A good source tells us that as well as Utd thinking about next pre-season playing some matches in Norway, there is a chance of a four team tournament in Madrid. --------------------------------- [8] Not quote of the weekend --------------------------------- Posted Monday, October 29, 2001 by bar-knee: Journo Patrick Barclay on the ref on Saturday "He had an outstanding game" --------------------------------- [7] Quote of the weekend --------------------------------- Posted Monday, October 29, 2001 by bar-knee: Keano on watching Ireland's penalty shoot-out win against Romania in Italia 90. "I was in a bar in Cork. It was quite good, as the pub had a thing on where every time Ireland scored you got a free pint. By the end we were absolutely ecstatic! Ireland won and we got an extra five free drinks!" --------------------------------- [6] Cuddly Pete the fitness Kenyon --------------------------------- Posted Monday, October 29, 2001 by bar-knee: Peter Kenyon is running in the New York marathon next month, raising funds for UNICEF. Wonder what kit he'll wear? --------------------------------- [5] Clutching at straws time --------------------------------- Posted Monday, October 29, 2001 by bar-knee: Kevin Keegan after Forest 1 city 1 "Any point away from home has to be decent but we didn't play as well as we can." --------------------------------- [4] No Wenger we cry --------------------------------- Posted Monday, October 29, 2001 by bar-knee: Certainly any thought of Arsene Wenger coming to Old Trafford as Fergie's replacement would split Utd support but after much quizzing of good sources at the weekend despite some high up at United wanting to see and check him out as one of the possibles we have it on very good authority that his new deal at Arse will be sorted in the coming weeks and thus putting paid - and I will say a mighty case of 'thankfully' to him coming to OT. After slagging us off so many times I'm one of those who was definitely in the 'no' camp and from those same sources we continue to hear that Sven and Capello (whose departure from Roma next summer fits the timing perfectly) loom large on the maybes. --------------------------------- [3] More from O'Dreary on us --------------------------------- Posted Monday, October 29, 2001 by bar-knee: "We knew we could have this team on the rack. They are edgy at the back without a doubt" --------------------------------- [2] And who asked you? --------------------------------- Posted Monday, October 29, 2001 by bar-knee: David O'Leary "Playing one man up front doesn't suit Manchester United. United are much more of a threat with two up front. Scholes is best coming from deep. Juan Sebastian Veron is not a link man either." --------------------------------- [1] We're off to see the Wizard --------------------------------- Posted Monday, October 29, 2001 by bar-knee: A large slice of the Red News team are off to Lille for the match, departing on Monday and Tuesday - of course we've locked up a couple of the team in a broom cupboard so that the news service on the site will continue each day (and instead of euro away alcohol excess, Red Hot Tip - unable to go because of his important tipster duties at home - Redend and Travis Bickle (tb) will be manning the news desk) - though the news may come at different times than usual. Barney is away until Thursday which explains (plus he's a lazy sod) why you might not have had your e.mail answered and sore heads aplenty will be back here sometime and in some state Thursday. If you want to buy some of the RN team a drink in Lille for our sterling services to humankind look out for a cross between Anne Widdicombe and the Elephant Man, but without the mask. That's Barney - the editor.
