--------------------------------- [28] Bowyer & ButtHead .... --------------------------------- Posted Tuesday, October 30, 2001 by redend: .... hehehehehe ....snigger
Lee Bowyer is to undergo surgery on Friday after breaking his nose in the draw with United. Bowyer sustained the injury following a clash with Nicky Butt. [Not recommended] --------------------------------- [27] Wife drops a bollock ... --------------------------------- Posted Tuesday, October 30, 2001 by redend: ... but not quickly enough A 66-year-old man has died in hospital after his wife allegedly grabbed his testicles during an argument. [I thought that was the agreed stance you had to adopt according to the rules of "having an argument with the Mrs"] Northern Province police in South Africa say his 45-year-old wife has been arrested. [Hopefully handcuffed behind her back too]. The man's brother tried to help, but the victim collapsed and passed out. He was dead on arrival at hospital. The woman is due to appear in court soon. [I bet the Judge doesn't argue with her.] [Wait, no listen luv - not that I was asssuming the Judge was a man like ...... let them go - they're not supposed to be that colour -oooooooouuuucchh ] --------------------------------- [26] Fergie on Lille match --------------------------------- Posted Tuesday, October 30, 2001 by redend: "We are going there to try and win the match. Going away from home and winning is a part of the psyche of European football. It is a very important part of it and you get into the stream of things if you keep on winning." Victory and finishing top could give us an advantage in Friday's draw in Geneva for the second phase as its likely that we would be one of the top four seeds in the tournament and avoid the likes of Real Madrid, Juventus and Bayern Munich or Barcelona. If we finish second we'll be paired with two group winners. Fergie: "You don't want to ease up because winning away from home becomes a good habit. We got back into it by beating Olympiakos and we want to keep that going. We will make the relevant changes we have to make due to injuries but we will be sending a team to win." "It's not only for ourselves but we have to go for a win out of respect for Olympiakos. They are still in the hunt for a UEFA Cup spot with Lille for finishing third in the group." "We mustn't let up when there are still issues to be decided. We've got to be fair. That's how we always are. Olympiakos are playing against Deportivo La Coruna in Spain and if they win there and we beat Lille then they'll get that spot." [I was wondering why Fergie kept sweet talking Olympiakos - saying we'll do our best "for them" etc. Of course, he wants them to know they are still in with a chance so that they go all out against Deportivo. Which of course could favour us with the right results. Fergie - he's so cunning you could put a tail on him and call him a fox.] --------------------------------- [25] Laurent : Oui, Je regret --------------------------------- Posted Tuesday, October 30, 2001 by redend: .... mais cela vie In the MEN tonight: "The biggest disappointment is to only have the chance to play one year at Old Trafford and to only have one year to try and win trophies with Manchester United." "If I could have been able to get here earlier I would have come. Having spent just two months at Old Trafford I know that if I had made it here earlier in my career then I would have wanted to stay for a long time." "It was impossible in the past to move to United. There has always been something to prevent me coming here, but that's life." "But I won't be tempted to change my mind no matter how much I am enjoying it. It has nothing to do with Manchester but it is in my head to retire. I have already decided that it is my final year playing professional football. I am hanging up my boots. "You always have to know the right time to stop playing. I have been in football for many years now. I wanted to do another year because I felt that mentally and physically I was tough enough to do that. "It is great I have managed to play for great clubs like Inter, Barcelona and United but physically and mentally it does take its toll." Medals in May? - Oui Merci "When Eric Cantona decided it was his final year it can be positive in the sense that you can really set your stall out to have a great year and achieve everything you want to do in that 12 months." "When you get it in your mind, like Eric did, that that's it you can focus on the job ahead." "It is always possible to keep saying I will have one more year, and then say one more year again. But just as it was in Cantona's head so it is definitely in mine." "But what I want to do in that year is give everything I have got to make sure it is a successful one for Manchester United. The Champions League is the finest thing you can win in your club career and despite everything else I have won I haven't achieved that. "But although the European Cup is very important it is also obvious among the players and the fans at United that the Premiership is also of great importance. So that would be a success as well. We have the potential to win both. That would be a great way to end my playing career." --------------------------------- [24] Djordjic new deal --------------------------------- Posted Tuesday, October 30, 2001 by redend: The MEN reports that Bojan Djordjic has signed a new contract worth around £5,000 a week with United. Djordjic, 19, has been rewarded for star performances for the reserves and a break into the first team squad. He's now expected to appear in the first team before the end of the season. Speaking to Swedish daily Expressen, he said: "There are three possibilities for me. I could play from the start, I could sit on the bench, or I could be left in the stands. [No pulling the wool over his eyes then.] "I don't dare to hope for too much, if I am on the bench I would accept that, but it feels great to just be included in the squad. Sir Alex has promised me I will get a chance in the first team before the New Year." --------------------------------- [23] Trouser Splitter --------------------------------- Posted Tuesday, October 30, 2001 by redend: Richard Harris says he will not try Viagra again because it works "too well." The 71-year-old says he tried the anti-impotence drug before taking a woman out to dinner. But it worked so well he couldn't fasten up his trousers. Harris, who plays the 150-year-old Professor Dumbledore in the forthcoming film Harry Potter And The Philosopher's Stone, told www.teletext.com: "I wouldn't use Viagra again. Your heart has to be good to take it. "It worked too well. I was taking this woman out to dinner afterwards and I couldn't zip up my trousers." [You could have just balanced a wine glass on it or pretend its a pet snake. thats what I always do] --------------------------------- [22] Pissed out of his tree --------------------------------- Posted Tuesday, October 30, 2001 by redend: [Shurely .. into his tree?] The Sun reports: Gary Carter went on an all-day bender and ended up asleep 25ft up a tree. [Come on - we've all done it.] His mates saw Gary, 22, hanging UPSIDE DOWN and snoring in the sycamore when they left a pub a few minutes after he lurched out. They couldn't wake him so had to get the fire brigage in. As they pulled him down he said: "How did I get here? Who put me up here?" After sleeping it off he said: "I can't even remember leaving the pub and I've got no idea how I got up that tree. I had been on a heavy session. I started off in the morning with half a bottle of vodka [yeah - exageration starts here - that'd be 1 short then] with mates and then when I went to a pub I was having chasers with my pints and went on to some daft cocktail." He ended up staggering to his local, the Red Lion in Trimdon, Co Durham. He bought a bottle of vodka alcopop WKD - but barely touched it before walking out. [See - ponce] Pub landlady Alice Hodgson, 52, said: "About 30 minutes later we saw blue flashing lights. We went out and there was Gary halfway up the tree, asleep. He was hanging upside down with his baseball cap still on. If he had fallen he might have killed himself because he would have landed on his head." [Shame] --------------------------------- [21] Two Reds for Oz --------------------------------- Posted Tuesday, October 30, 2001 by redend: France have included eight Premiership players in their squad, for the friendly in Australia on November 11. Arsenal 4 Manchester United 2 Chelsea 2. They are: Thierry Henry (Arsenal), Robert Pires (Arsenal), Patrick Vieira (Arsenal), Sylvain Wiltord (Arsenal), Fabien Barthez (Manchester United), Mikael Silvestre (Manchester United), Marcel Desailly (Chelsea), Emmanuel Petit (Chelsea). --------------------------------- [20] comedy news --------------------------------- Posted Tuesday, October 30, 2001 by redend: city are planning a £250,000 bid for Las Palmas' Croatian left-back Robert Jarni, reports The Sun. --------------------------------- [19] Blanc is no sprinter shock --------------------------------- Posted Tuesday, October 30, 2001 by redend: Blanc has been labelled too slow by his critics, but said: "Those who consider me slow don't know me very well because I have never been quick." [Ha Ha Monsieur - you are too clever for them.] "But throughout my career I have never come out too badly and I made up for it in other ways." --------------------------------- [18] Forwards Firing Blancs? --------------------------------- Posted Tuesday, October 30, 2001 by redend: Laurent Blanc has suggested that our forwards are failing to convert chances and this has been picked up by the media with the usual ABU digs coming out in the way it is presented. If you read his quotes below he does admit that the defensive problems when he says "The reality is that we are letting in too many goals. Our defending simply has not been good enough." But the media want to concentrate on ridiculing his remarks about finishing but what he is actually says is true - we wouldn't have been so worried (well some would - but they always will) if we'd scored a couple more against Coruna for instance. "You know, people talk plenty about our defensive problems, but they would talk about them less if we had managed so far to get something from our chances up front." "English culture leans towards attack and the public will not have it any other way. Manchester United will have to be happy with playing a very attacking game this season. We have the potential to win both the Champions League and the Premiership, but first we must obtain a solid look throughout the team." "To win these two trophies, which is our objective, we've got to have a real defensive toughness and consistency which we have not got yet. The reality is that we are letting in too many goals. Our defending simply has not been good enough." --------------------------------- [17] Fergie serious --------------------------------- Posted Tuesday, October 30, 2001 by redend: Despite his squad rotation Fergie insists United are still taking the match in Lens' Stade Felix-Bollaert (sounds like a sexual assault), seriously. "We still want to win to show we can win away, while we also owe it to Olympiakos, who could still qualify for the Uefa Cup, to do our best." [No mention of winning the group then?]. --------------------------------- [16] Squad for Lille --------------------------------- Posted Tuesday, October 30, 2001 by redend: Carroll, van der Gouw; Irwin, Silvestre, Blanc, May, O'Shea, P Neville; Scholes, Fortune, Beckham, Butt, Wallwork, Stewart, Djordjic, Chadwick; Cole, Yorke, Solskjaer. --------------------------------- [15] Changes for Lille --------------------------------- Posted Tuesday, October 30, 2001 by redend: With qualification dans le sac (as we say in Lille) Fergie is rotating faster than a spinning thing (or something funny) with a lot of team changes due to "injury" or resting. Makes sense ahead of the clash with the Scousers on Sunday - another morning KO. Not nice. Gary Neville, Wes Brown, Ryan Giggs, Fabien Barthez, Roy Keane, Ruud van Nistelrooy and Juan Sebastian Veron have all not travelled to Lille (or Lens). Wounded: Gary Nev : thigh injury, Wes : knee problem, Giggsy : tight hamstring, Barthez : ear infection Keane : knee injury. Rested : van Nistelrooy : feet up. book, glass of wine JS Veron : hot bath, cigar, lady friend In to the squad come: Michael Stewart, John O'Shea and Bojan Djordjic. --------------------------------- [14] Stats say 4-4-2 --------------------------------- Posted Tuesday, October 30, 2001 by redend: Or do they? Paul S sent this into [EMAIL PROTECTED] Ok heres a newsworthy fact from the ITV chat programme tonight: Goal ratio with 4-4-2: one every 23 minutes Goals ratio with 4-1-4-1 or 4-5-1 or whatever it is: one every 94 minutes [OK but 1.what about how many we concede with 2 formations; 2. Do we switch to 4-4-2 when we need to push forward for goals or when we play a different line-up against weaker opposition e.g. Sunderland? 3. Are these stats accurate or are they part of the little campaign going at the moment to destabilise us by trying to discredit Fergie's decisions? This happens every season - but the Govanite ends up polishing one of the big trophies at the end of every (near enough) season. We shouldn't forget the ABU media have an interest in playing up any temporary problems to try to damage confidence.] --------------------------------- [13] DUH! MOT GALLAGHER - Alex Plypin --------------------------------- Posted Tuesday, October 30, 2001 by redend: The latest spurting from the knib of Alex Plypin: Once more the myth that United get a hatful of penalties every home game has been exploded. As with many refs this season, Dermot Gallagher is one of many who has seen it to make his mark by showing an obvious bias to the away side. Quite apart from the evidently offside goal, and the succession of free kicks awarded to ian harte around the area in order that he could find his range, the Beckham/Keane incident takes the biscuit. Can anyone imagine the outcry were a certain R Keane in a Red Shirt found guilty of blatant retaliation in the course of a game? There would have beeen cries for a lifetime ban, anguished hand-wringing about how the officials always lose their bottle when it comes to making an example of certain individuals, and yet more false accusations that all refs that come to OT are `homers'. Gallagher was more like Homer, and has now been demoted to the nationwide after the event. Where else would someone who is crap at his job get another chance? What about the other 2 points that we should have got, had he done his job properly?? [Yup] --------------------------------- [12] Who the f***ing hell are you? --------------------------------- Posted Tuesday, October 30, 2001 by redend: Former Leeds Capt Brendan Ormsby (the 80's apparently) "Blanc's best days have gone. His socks are down, and he looks like an old man. "Leeds' back four are better at the moment. Blanc is not a better player than Stam, who for three or four years was Fergie's rock in defence. "But then in a blink of an eye he was gone." "Stam was bringing Brown along well, but this season he has made a lot of mistakes and to be honest he looks to have gone backwards. "When Michael Ricketts scored at Old Trafford (in Bolton's 2-1 victory earlier this month) I could see as a former defender myself that all Brown had to do was make a straight-forward header for a centre-half. (Under which rock did they find this bloke!) "But he didn't, and you could see Ricketts was looking at Brown rather than the ball, and he was allowed to score. "All the players are good players individually, but at the moment they are not working as a unit." Thank you Mr Leedsaresh*te --------------------------------- [11] 'With a packet of sweets' --------------------------------- Posted Tuesday, October 30, 2001 by redend: Spotted this on ABU 365 as their 'Tip of the Day' 'Win £44 if Arse sloppy seconds leave a bad taste in Wenger's mouth' Whatever could they mean? Perhaps RHT can shed some light on the subject --------------------------------- [10] Nothing compared to the RN 'nerve centre' --------------------------------- Posted Tuesday, October 30, 2001 by redend: >From Ananova An 85-year-old Philadelphia timber yard owner says he hasn't seen the surface of his desks for 43 years. The two desks at Ray Kostin's company, Rittenhouse Lumber, have 80 cubic feet of paper on them. Mr Kostin, 85, says men bring their wives into his shop in Springfield Township to show he's messier than them. --------------------------------- [9] So Fine says Ole is Perfect --------------------------------- Posted Tuesday, October 30, 2001 by redend: Micky Silvestre: "Ole is exceptional. He's the only player in Europe or even the world who can score goals like that. He scored an important goal after coming on against Olympiakos last week and then he did the same against Leeds on Saturday. "It is amazing how Ole scores the goals he does. He is perfect." --------------------------------- [8] More injuries? --------------------------------- Posted Tuesday, October 30, 2001 by redend: Apparently Wes, Ryan and Andrew are all doubtful for Lille --------------------------------- [7] Fergie relying on Bruce old pals act? --------------------------------- Posted Tuesday, October 30, 2001 by redend: As we are reportedly interested in Palace's Thai 'wonderkid' Teeratep Winothai. Can't see it myself as Fergie won't be buying players on behalf of another manager. Unless.. --------------------------------- [6] Ole wants to start --------------------------------- Posted Tuesday, October 30, 2001 by redend: "Coming on as a substitute is not easy but when I have been watching the game for 70 minutes, I am fresh and the opposition might get tired so I just try to do my best whenever I get on. "I want to play football and hopefully on Wednesday I will get my chance." --------------------------------- [5] Fergie: No worries for Olympiakos --------------------------------- Posted Tuesday, October 30, 2001 by redend: "Olympiakos can rest assured. Manchester United don't go on the pitch without trying. We will go out to win. The side I pick will be going out to win you can be assured of that." --------------------------------- [4] Fergie: Got to get the winning habit back --------------------------------- Posted Tuesday, October 30, 2001 by redend: He said: "We still want to win the group, however, and it's important that we get back to winning on our travels in Europe. We got into that habit two years ago and we need to get it back. "It's an issue when you bear in mind how we were performing away from home three years ago." --------------------------------- [3] Fergie on Lille game --------------------------------- Posted Tuesday, October 30, 2001 by redend: "I will be making three or four changes for Wednesday. Roy Keane isn't available, but it's a good chance to give the likes of Phil Neville and Luke Chadwick a game." --------------------------------- [2] And talking of Murdoch companies --------------------------------- Posted Tuesday, October 30, 2001 by redend: >From Reuters: The European Commission confirmed it has opened an investigation into the way the English premier league sells television rights to its top-flight; soccer matches. "We are at the moment carrying out a preliminary investigation," Commission spokeswoman Amelia Torres told the EU's daily news conference. "What we have done is to ask the English premier league at the end of August to submit its contracts and notify to the European Commission the way the broadcasting rights to the English premier league are being sold." A spokesman for the premier league confirmed on Saturday that the Commission, which has wide-ranging powers over issues of competition within the EU, had asked for information but added it was a formal procedure and no case was being launched. Torres, however, said the Commission felt there could be similarities between the premier league's policy and the way Europe's soccer governing body UEFA sold the rights to show its Champions League games. The Commission sent UEFA an initial legal warning in July, saying certain aspects of its selling policy could break EU law and called on it to open up the process to more broadcasters. It particularly objected to the block selling of rights by UEFA to a single broadcaster per country, often with long contracts that favoured big media firms with deep pockets. "In many ways we imagine the ways in which the English premier league matches are being sold is similar to the UEFA case," Torres said. The premier league argued it had ensured a wide range of programming for television viewers including subscription-based live games, free-to-air highlights and pay-per-view matches. In June last year it said it would pocket 1.645 billion pounds ($2.38 billion) from the sale of broadcast rights to its games including 1.11 billion from British Sky broadcasting for live rights. --------------------------------- [1] Capello backtracks --------------------------------- Posted Tuesday, October 30, 2001 by redend: "I said I would be honoured to be chosen by Manchester United but that is greatly different from saying I would go to coach them. "I always choose my words carefully to avoid being misunderstood," Does this mean The Sunday Times mis-quoted you. Can't believe that of a Murdoch rag! --------------------------------- [31] Keano 3 week rest --------------------------------- Posted Monday, October 29, 2001 by redend: Keano has already been ruled out of Sunday morning's clash with the Scousers and its now even possible he could be struggling to be fully fit for Arsenal at Highbury at the end of November and Chelsea at Old Trafford on December 1 unless his timetable for recovery stays bang on course. Fergie put a 21-day time-scale on Keano's recovery : "It's not a serious thing - it is irksome more than anything and really painful." "We'll have to nip it in the bud before it gets any worse." --------------------------------- [30] Gobbleshite forced to gobble shite? --------------------------------- Posted Monday, October 29, 2001 by redend: Bruce Grobbelaar has been fired by South African team Supersport United after two years in the job. The club have a mediocre record this season, with three wins, three draws and three defeats from their opening matches. "Bruce was asked to leave simply because he has let the club down by failing to find a winning combination," club chairman Khulu Sibiya told www.supersport.co.za, the club sponsors' website. --------------------------------- [29] Ham Burgler - o.n.o. --------------------------------- Posted Monday, October 29, 2001 by redend: A Norwegian taxi driver has been attacked by a passenger armed with frozen hamburger meat. The incident happened outside a petrol station and shop in Bergen after the passenger refused to pay. The 19-year-old apparently raided the store's frozen food counter and started throwing items at the driver. He was later arrested. Brings back memories of that infamous incident (previously reported here) when a bloke tried to hold up the 24 hr garage on Wilbraham Rd, Chortlon - armed with a tin of carrots. Access Denied. --------------------------------- [28] Strange Ways --------------------------------- Posted Monday, October 29, 2001 by redend: A bar worker has told Hull Crown Court how he saw Woodgate jump with both feet on the body of a street attack victim : "He came down and must have hit the body of the lad lying on the ground because I saw his body move with the impact of him landing on him." The part-time bar worker, also identified Bowyer as one of the group who joined in the attack on 21-year-old Sarfraz Najeib in Mill Hill, Leeds, in January last year. Bowyer arrived for the third week of the retrial with injuries to his nose and right eye sustained in Saturday's clash with Manchester United. [Nice] The judge, Mr Justice Henriques, told the jury that Bowyer's counsel, Desmond de Silva had asked him to point out that the injuries had been sustained in a football match. The judge told them: "It is right you should know it was as a result of lawful activity and not in a fight anywhere. There is a black eye on its way apparently." [Now that last sentence by the judge is an interesting prediction but surely an understatement]
