���<--------- http://www.paulsfunhouse.com --------->��� and ���<----------The Grand Pooh-Bah of Humour ---------->��� presents
<---------------------PureHumour Joke Ezine!---------------------> Grab a seat and get ready to roar in laughter...you have reached the original home of PUREHUMOUR! In the unlikely event that you no longer wish to receive the "Best Humour on the Net" then you will find the unsubscribe instructions at the bottom of every mailing! Welcome back! What a weekend...we spent the whole day (12 hours) at the Red River Exhibition in Winnipeg on Sunday and was I beat by the time we were done! Rode a pile of rides including "The Drop of Fear" which is basically a huge tower with four cars around it that lifts you hundreds of feet into the air and then drops you to the ground without warning....we were able to retrieve my inner organs that were left at the top of the ride as it dropped! I also learnt a valuable lesson and wish to pass it along to all of you! DO NOT under any circumstances go on any rides that contain water with 4 kids under the age of 12! This is just asking for trouble....if you saw a tall guy walking through the Ex soaking wet and dragging 4 kids behind him...that was me...the kids found the perfect way to get me soaked yet keep themselves dry! Oh what fun we had then! ;) SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT: Purehumour is now available in an ad-free version for a small fee...more details available at: <a href=" http://lists.paulsfunhouse.com/paid.html ">Ad-Free</a> http://lists.paulsfunhouse.com/paid.html WIN $50.00 just by becoming a subscriber! Today's issue includes contributions by: Pat, SunAmy, Daniel, Laura, Barb, Rubin, Aimee, Ishy, Keli. If you want to see your name here...send your jokes to: <a href=" mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] ">Jokes</a> ���-------------------------QUICKIE----------------------------------��� Lets start with a quickie: Why don't they have fireworks at Euro Disney? Because every time they shoot them off, the French try to surrender. ���--------------------------TOON TIME------------------------------��� The city dump... <a href=" http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.13.1056 ">Click Here </a> http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.13.1056 Clean underwear <a href=" http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.13.1055 ">Click Here </a> http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.13.1055 ���------------------------SPONSOR---------------------------------��� Today's issue is brought to you by: The MOST UNIQUE CONTEST IN THE WORLD! Open to residents of the USA and Canada... ******* WIN FREE TOILET PAPER ******* YES you can WIN Free Toilet Paper...get a 24 roll pack of toilet paper right to your door when you WIN the most unique contest in the world! FREE and SIMPLE to enter...check out the link below: <a href=" http://ads.paulsfunhouse.com/25.html ">Click</a> http://ads.paulsfunhouse.com/25.html ���--------------------------HUMOUR---------------------------------��� German Motoring Phrases The abolition of Euro trade barriers in 1996 meant that many cars will now be of German origin. To this end the following list of German motoring phrases: 1) Die BlinkenLeiten Tickentocken = Signal Indicators 2) Pullknob und KnuckleChoppen = Auto Hood 3) Der Spitzenpoppenbangentuben = Exhaust 4) Das Kulink mit Schlippenundshaken = Clutch 5) Der Phlatt mit Bloody fukken = Puncture 6) Der Twatten mit Elplatz = Learner driver 7) Das Bagsaroomfurshagginkin = Station Wagon 8) Der Flippenflappenschitspreader = Windshield wipers 9) Der Klunkenklinkenfrauleinstrappen = Seat belt 10) Das Buch fur Aresewipen = Highway Code 11) Die Dippenuntdazzel Eiblinden = Headlights 12) Der Pedalpuschinpilloken = Cyclist 13) Der Fukkengratentrucken = Truck 14) Der Bananwaltzen = Skid 15) Dast Fukkennearenschitzenselfen = Near accident ���--------------------ADVERTISEMENT---------------------------��� LIKE MY LIST? Why not give us a vote or recommend us to a friend? Vote Now : <a href=" http://www.fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.30.0 ">Vote for Me!</a> ���------------------------GUS COOKS!------------------------------��� Gus really gets cooking...a new strip each day! <a href="http://www.guscooks.com/strips.php";>Click</a> http://www.guscooks.com/strips.php ���--------------------------HUMOUR---------------------------------��� Two men at a bar had been enjoying a few drinks for the past couple of hours and were pretty drunk when one of them notices a beautiful woman sitting in the corner. One says to the other, "Jeez, I'd really like to dance with that girl." The other man replies, "Well go ahead and ask her, don't be a chicken shit." So the man approaches the lovely woman and says, "Excuse me. Would you be so kind as to dance with me?" Seeing the man is totally drunk the woman says, "I'm sorry. Right now I'm concentrating on matrimony, and I'd rather sit than dance." So the man humbly returns to his friend. "So what did she say?" asks the friend. The drunk responded, "She said she's constipated on macaroni, and would rather shit in her pants." ���----------------------PUREHUMOUR POLL--------------------��� <Folks...this is one of the closest polls to date...get your vote in now!> In the name of speed! Check it out: <a href=" http://www.paulsfunhouse.com/fun/ ">Poll</a> http://www.paulsfunhouse.com/fun/ ���-----------------------QUICK QUOTE----------------------------��� Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving -Albert Einstein ���--------------------------TOON TIME------------------------------��� The bank business.. <a href=" http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.13.1054 ">Click Here </a> http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.13.1054 House calls... <a href=" http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.13.1053 ">Click Here </a> http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.13.1053 ���--------------------------HUMOUR---------------------------------��� <From a mom!> ONE MORNING I was called to pick up my son at the school nurse's office. When I walked through the main entrance, I noticed a woman, curlers in her hair, wearing pajamas. "Why are you dressed like that?" I asked her. "I told my son," she explained, "that if he ever did anything to embarrass me, I would embarrass him back. He was caught cutting school. So now I've come to spend the day with him!" ���--------------------------TOON TIME------------------------------��� I Always Tell My Husband I Love Him <a href=" http://www.buffalosjokes.com/at/24.htm ">Click</a> http://www.buffalosjokes.com/at/24.htm Advice From Jill <a href=" http://ugrin.paulsfunhouse.com/phw9.html ">Click</a> http://ugrin.paulsfunhouse.com/phw9.html My Husband Died <a href=" http://humorcorner.com/dmp/died.html ">Click</a> http://humorcorner.com/dmp/died.html Priceless Beers <a href=" http://judysjokes.com/atoons/jj/06010201.html ">Click</a> http://judysjokes.com/atoons/jj/06010201.html ���--------------------------HUMOUR---------------------------------��� A small boy was looking at the red ripe tomatoes growing in the farmer's garden. "I'll give you my two pennies for that tomato," said the boy pointing to a beautiful, large, ripe fruit hanging on the vine. "No," said the farmer, "I get a dime for a tomato like that one." The small boy pointed to a smaller green one, "Will you take two pennies for that one?" "Yes," replied the farmer, "I'll give you that one for two cents." "OK," said the lad, sealing the deal by putting the coins in the farmer's hand, "I'll pick it up in about a week." ���--------------------ADVERTISEMENT---------------------------��� From the creators of Oska and Tahni comes a brand new and fun creation...get him for FREE at: <a href=" http://ads.paulsfunhouse.com/15.html ">TeeCee!</a> ���------------------------STRANGE BREED!-------------------------��� If you like funny, wacky, and clean cartoons, then check out "Strange Breed". It's sure to make you and your whole family laugh." <a href="http://www2.hi.net/s4/strangebreed.htm";>Click</a> http://www2.hi.net/s4/strangebreed.htm ���--------------------------HUMOUR---------------------------------��� Anni went to see her family doctor about her husband. "For the first twenty years, he was fine Doc, not nervous or jumpy at all. Then for the next 10 years, he's been irritable, jumpy and fidgety. And now the last 5 years, he's been awful jumpy and nervous. He can't sit still in the same room with me for even 5 minutes. I don't know what to do for him. Can you help?" "What your husband needs is a little rest, Anni. Here is a sleeping pill." "Oh, Thank you Doctor. A million thanks to you. And when do I give him the medicine?" "Not HIM, Anni, YOU take it." ���--------------FROM THE BATHROOM WALL -------------��� Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night. ���--------------------------TOON TIME------------------------------��� Public defender <a href=" http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.13.1052 ">Click Here </a> http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.13.1052 Drum messages... <a href=" http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.13.1051 ">Click Here </a> http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.13.1051 ���---------------NON SMOKING SECTION-------------------------��� <To comply with recent internet law changes...Purehumour will now present a daily non-smoking section...this section is fully smoke-free...I do not smoke while creating it...and you are requested not to smoke while you read it! You co-operation is expected.> When a woman in my office became engaged, a colleague offered her some advice. "The first ten years are the hardest." "How long have you been married?" I asked. "Ten years," she replied. <End of non-smoking section...please light your tobacco products once more> ���--------------------IT'S NOT PUNNY!------------------------------��� WHAT'S AMORE? * When the moon hits your eye Like a big pizza pie...That's amore. * When an eel bites your hand And that's not what you planned...That's a moray. * When our habits are strange And our customs deranged...That's our mores. * When your horse munches straw And the bales total four...That's some more hay. * When Othello's poor wife She gets stabbed with a knife...That's a Moor, eh? ���------------------------TIMEKILLER-------------------------------��� Crazy Sounds Machine <a href=" http://www.jillsjokeline.com/crazy.html ">Click</a> http://www.jillsjokeline.com/crazy.html Whack A Groundhog <a href=" http://www.jillsjokeline.com/whack.html ">Click</a> http://www.jillsjokeline.com/whack.html ���-------------------------A DOG'S WORLD------------------------��� A Dog's World is a continuing story that will appear in each Tuesday edition...miss a segment?...then check out the archives at: http://www.escribe.com/humor/pj Sam, not knowing what else to do, began hum. Not any song in particular, just began humming in attempt to break the silence. Less than a minute later another dog joined in. To lone hums coming from underneath the pile of broken wood and glass. Before they knew it all six dogs were humming and the random sounds were now a group hum of "Home on the Range." The dogs went on to hum other songs. Old standards, TV jingles anything they could think of. No one said a word, one dog would start and the other would join in. During the songs the dogs began to giggle. The giggles were contagious and soon came eruptions of loud laughter. After laughing their way through "Brown Eyed Girl" one dog began humming "Amazing Grace." The laughter stopped as the other dogs hummed along. Sam hummed and tears began to well up in his eyes. He still didn't know what had happened outside but this song confirmed for him that the other dogs also though like he did; the world had indeed come to an end. Copyright 2001-02 D. Scott Check out more at: http://www.humorcorner.com ���--------------------------HUMOUR---------------------------------��� John decided to dodge the call-up by being medically unfit. The easiest way, he decided, was to pull the last of his remaining teeth out. They wouldn't take a bloke with a completely gummy mouth. John was third in line when a tough sergeant major began the examination. "What's wrong with you?" he demanded of the first man. "No teeth at all," was the reply. The sergeant stuck his finger in the man's mouth and felt around. "You're right. You are no good to us." John's spirits brightened when he heard that decision. "And what's wrong with you?" said the sergeant to the second man. "Piles, sir." The sergeant stuck his finger up the man's bum, felt around and said: "Yes. You are no bloody good to us." Turning to John he said: "And what's wrong with you?" "Nothing at all," said John. ���--------------------ADVERTISEMENT---------------------------��� Website hosting at a price YOU can afford...great features... all the bells and whistles...get YOUR spotlight now: <a href="http://ads.paulsfunhouse.com/16.html";>Hosting</a> http://ads.paulsfunhouse.com/16.html ���--------------------------HUMOUR---------------------------------��� The bar room was crowded. All of a sudden, the cute little thing on the stool began to cry. The barkeep asked, "What's the trouble, Sweetie?" She sobbed, "I'm a virgin, and my boyfriend won't have anything to do with me because I'm inexperienced. What should I do?" Three men and a Lesbian were killed in the rush. ���--------------------------TOON TIME------------------------------��� No more... <a href=" http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.13.1050 ">Click Here </a> http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.13.1050 Kiddie cop... <a href=" http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.13.1049 ">Click Here </a> http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.13.1049 ���-------------------------WEIRD NEWS---------------------------��� An angler dived into a lake to catch a fish that evaded him during a competition. The 10lb carp escaped when Lee Carver's fishing rod broke during the contest at Barford Lake near Norwich. Mr Carver went on to win the competition with a replacement rod, then stripped to his shorts and swam after the escapee. The builder swam 40 feet to where the remains of his original fishing rod was floating and found the carp was still on the end of it three hours later. He told The Daily Mail: "It was a real scrap. I started swimming back to the bank, but the carp was still trying to get away and it was not easy swimming with one hand and the other one holding the rod." He climbed on to a jetty and a friend managed to land the carp with a net. He then let the fish go. "It was still alive and raring to go so it seemed the right thing to do," he said. "It was certainly a tough old thing." He added: "When I first caught the carp, it was on the line for about five minutes before the rod broke and it got away. "I then had to watch as the carp towed my pole around the lake for more than three hours. I had to wait until the end of the match to get it back because I didn't want to scare the fish away from the other anglers." Weird News is a daily feature of Purehumour...it contains a previously published News Report. If you find an article that you wish to see here..please send the article, name of the publication and date to: <a href=" mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] ">News</a> IF you like Weird News...subscribe to my weekly ezine of Weird News Weekly: <a href=" http://lists.paulsfunhouse.com ">Lists</a> ���--------------------------HUMOUR---------------------------------��� Ode to Alcohol Starkle, starkle, little twink, Who the hell you are I think, I'm not under what they call The alcofluence of incohol. I'm not drunk as thinkle peep, I'm just a little slort of sheep. Tee martoonis make a guy Fool so feelish, don't know why Rally don't know who's me yet The drunker I stay the longer I get So just one more to full my cup, I've all day sober to Sunday up. ���-------------------------QUICK WIT-------------------------------��� [||||] W H E E L O ' M I S F O R T U N E [||||] Vanna White has filed for divorce. (CNN) Expect an amicable division of community property. He'll get the consonants and she'll keep the vowels, the house, the dogs and the yacht. Copyright � 2002 by Bob Mills, all rights reserved. http://www.topica.com/lists/funnysideup ���--------------------------HUMOUR---------------------------------��� First the Lord made man in the Garden of Eden. Then he said to himself, "There's something he's needing" After casting about for a suitable pearl, He kept messing around and created a girl. Two beautiful legs, so long and slender, Round, slim, and firm, and ever so tender. Two lovely hips to increase his desire, And rounded and firm to bring out the fire. Two lovely breasts, so full and so proud, Commanding his eyes, as he whispers aloud. Two lovely arms, just aching to bless you, And two loving hands, to soothe and caress you. Soft, cascading hair hung down over her shoulder, And two dreamy eyes, to make him grow bolder. 'Twas made for a man, just to make his heart sing......... Then he added a mouth: ruined the whole flippin' thing. ���--------------------ADVERTISEMENT---------------------------��� Never Pay for Condoms! Check out FreeCondoms.com... <a href=" http://ads.paulsfunhouse.com/5.html ">Click here</a> ���--------------------------TOON TIME------------------------------��� Not his peers... <a href=" http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.13.1048 ">Click Here </a> http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.13.1048 Lucky charms... <a href=" http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.13.1047 ">Click Here </a> http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.13.1047 ���--------------------------HUMOUR---------------------------------��� Two drunks are sitting at a bar. The first one says, "What's this thing they call a Breathalyzer'?" The second guy says, "It's a bag that can tell how much you drank." The first guy says, "I married one of those things years ago." ���---------------------------QUICKIE----------------------------------��� A blonde puts a book on the librarian's desk and says, "This book has no story and way too many characters." The librarian says, "So that's where the phone book went." ���--------------------------EDITORIAL--------------------------------��� This Week's Laughing Stalk by Erik Deckers Plague of Three-legged Frogs Erik is out of the office this week, so we are reprinting a column from September 1999. It's always sad when your childhood heroes and heroines have passed from being the greatest thing since sliced bread (which was invented soon after the bread knife) to the butt of jokes and derisive laughter. This is now happening to my literary hero, Dave Barry. I've poked fun at Dave for as long as I've been a humor columnist, commenting on his literary cornucopia of boogers and other bodily functions. But it was this same Dave Barry that inspired me to become a humor columnist in the first place. So if you want to blame anyone for the humor tirade I've inflicted on you for the past seven-and-a-half years, call him. Dave is now so popular that he's the measuring stick with which all other humor writers are . . . well, measured. In fact, in my humor writers discussion group, we have been grumbling that none of us can get a decent break because Dave has the whole syndicated humor column market all sewn up. Over the past several years, Dave has become the Microsoft of the humor world, and all us little guys are Macintosh: we publicly support and admire Dave's work, but late at night, we secretly jab needles into our little Dave Barry voodoo dolls. Some say Dave's material is predictable, and that you just know what he's going to say each week. Office pools have sprung up around the country, taking bets on the number of times he'll say "booger" or "fart," whether write about actual letters sent in by his millions of readers, write about his own literary rock band (Stephen King and Amy Tan are also members), or mention how an odd phrase would be a good name for a rock band. But seriously, "Odd phrase" WOULD be a good name for a rock band. In fact, one Dave Barry maven, Bennett Haselton, has even gone so far as to create a website that will write your very own Dave Barry column for you. According to Haselton, this was originally done as a lark, and he tried to keep the existence of the website a secret while he tried to contact the Miami Herald (Dave's home paper) to make sure he wouldn't be sued for creating it. In the meantime, search engines began picking up the website as people searched for Dave Barry, and word of the site got around. Eventually, Haselton got a postcard from Dave's research department saying that the site was okay. However, it's still an unofficial fan site and is not endorsed by Dave or his publishers. So booger on, Bennett! The AutoDave page (which can be found at http://peacefire.org/staff/bennett/autodave/ autodave.html) asks you to fill in short, yet comical answers to 20 simple questions. Then, when you hit a button, it will generate the column for you. Some of the questions on the site include things like "Enter a plural noun. The weirder the better," "Give me an insult. Go wild." "Your boss is about to discover that your bungling caused an accounting error of $2 million, what do you say?" and "Enter your standard procedure for unclogging toilets." So, I answered all the questions, and came up with the following column (special thanks to Bennett Haselton and AutoDave for helping me write one-third of this week's column): "Recently in Syracuse, Indiana (motto: "Don't you ever shut up?!"), residents reported an outbreak of three-legged toads. Perhaps you think there are no three-legged toads in Syracuse, Indiana. Perhaps you are an idiot. "As the French say, au contraire (literally: "Your face is the twin of a baboons red butt"). I have here in my hands a copy of an Associated Press article sent in by alert reader Teresa, whose name can be rearranged to spell "TAESRE", although that is not my main point. "Teresa", by the way, only has the letters "eesa" in common with "Monica Lewinsky", so there is no other reason to mention Monica Lewinsky in this column. "According to a quote which I am not making up, from Syracuse, Indiana Mayor Evanston (formally "Mayor Evanston" and informally "Billy Ray"), three-legged toads ranks as a major crisis just behind football, beer and pizza (insert your "more beer" joke here), as evidenced by the following conversation between Syracuse, Indiana government employees: "FIRST SYRACUSE INDIANA EMPLOYEE: "Oh man, this is going to hurt!" "SECOND SYRACUSE INDIANA EMPLOYEE: "It's not my fault. He did it." "FIRST SYRACUSE INDIANA EMPLOYEE: "What do you think you're doing?" "Fortunately I have a suggestion for Mayor Billy Ray, and that is: kick him in George Steinbrenner's privates. "No, seriously, my suggestion does not involve George Steinbrenner's privates, although it might involve beating up Tobacco Institute scientists. My suggestion is more along the lines of a coup de grace, from the French coup, meaning "short-sighted", and de grace, meaning "stupidity". The procedure (you may want to write this down): "1. Eject them all into the sun; "2. Swear, flush, plunge, swear, flush, plunge; "But instead the Syracuse, Indiana city council (motto: "We'll function efficiently when you pry the coffee mug out of our cold, dead fingers") thinks that they (the three-legged toads) will lose their fingers in gardening accidents soon, sending this message to the public, and to the world: "I hate vegetables". "Speaking of which, "The Syracuse, Indiana Three-legged toads Outbreak" would be a great name for a rock band." I'll always be a big admirer of Dave. He made it cool for humor columnists to talk about bodily functions. Without him, I would never have had the courage to write about things like towns named Booger Holler, Oregon, even though it's really named Burp Holler. And without his influence I certainly never would have even considered humor writing something that respectable people do in polite society, even though no one else does. And for that I salute him. But I swear, if he steals the band name "Swear Flush Plunge," I'm suing him for every penny he's got. -- Erik Deckers is in sales and marketing by day, but at night he dons a cape and mask and. . . well, he doesn't fight crime so much as he just runs around his house making kung fu noises. He is shy, and doesn't want people to make fun of him. At other times, he writes a weekly humor column, which can be found at http://www.kconline.com/deckers. Your article length submissions are welcome...send your humourous submissions of between 300 and 500 words to: <a href=" mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] ">Editorials</a> Editorial comments expressed here are copyright the writer and may not be reproduced in whole or in part without the expressed written consent of the writer and also the editor of Purehumour. ���----------------------------XXX SITES TO VISIT---------------------------��� The following are XXX sites...if you click them...you will see material that could offend you...pure and simple! If you don't wish to see such material...then DON'T click them! This is your only warning! Amazinganal.com <a href="http://www2.amazinganal.com/cgi/click?account=973985&site=aa&program=unique";>Click</a> http://www2.amazinganal.com/cgi/click?account=973985&site=aa&program=unique Amazinggangbangs.com <a href="http://www2.amazinggangbangs.com/cgi/click?account=973985&site=ag&program=unique";>Click</a> http://www2.amazinggangbangs.com/cgi/click?account=973985&site=ag&program=unique Analsweeties.com <a href="http://www2.analsweeties.com/cgi/click?account=973985&site=as&program=unique";>Click</a> http://www2.analsweeties.com/cgi/click?account=973985&site=as&program=unique Asiantease.com <a href="http://www2.asiantease.com/cgi/click?account=973985&site=at&program=unique";>Click</a> http://www2.asiantease.com/cgi/click?account=973985&site=at&program=unique Beaverpalace.com <a href="http://www2.beaverpalace.com/cgi/click?account=973985&site=bp&program=unique";>Click</a> http://www2.beaverpalace.com/cgi/click?account=973985&site=bp&program=unique Beachteens.com <a href="http://www2.beachteens.com/cgi/click?account=973985&site=bt&program=unique";>Click</a> http://www2.beachteens.com/cgi/click?account=973985&site=bt&program=unique Boyforboy.com <a href="http://www2.boyforboy.com/cgi/click?account=973985&site=bf&program=unique";>Click</a> http://www2.boyforboy.com/cgi/click?account=973985&site=bf&program=unique Celebhotel.com <a href="http://www2.celebhotel.com/cgi/click?account=973985&site=ce&program=unique";>Click</a> http://www2.celebhotel.com/cgi/click?account=973985&site=ce&program=unique Circuspenis.com <a href="http://www2.circuspenis.com/cgi/click?account=973985&site=cp&program=unique";>Click</a> http://www2.circuspenis.com/cgi/click?account=973985&site=cp&program=unique Clubtitties.com <a href="http://www2.clubtitties.com/cgi/click?account=973985&site=tt&program=unique";>Click</a> http://www2.clubtitties.com/cgi/click?account=973985&site=tt&program=unique More adult sites: http://www.paulsfunhouse.com/adult/ ���--------------------IMPORTANT INFORMATION!--------------------��� When forwarding this ezine please leave this trailer message in place. None of this material is considered copyright...it is considered in the public domain. If any material is copyrighted please notify me at <a href=" mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] ">Copyright</a> and proper credit will be given. It has been collected from various sources and submitters names have been included when given. Paul Croft - Owner/Editor-In-Chief/Grand Pooh-Bah of Humour! Contact me: <a href=" mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] ">Paul's Address</a> Do you have a product, website or mailing list?? Interested in advertising on Purehumour?? Ad rates are only $2.00 CPM More details? <a href=" mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] ">Ad Rates</a> Email submissions to: Jokes: <a href=" mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] ">Send Jokes</a> Purehumour Joke Ezine as a whole is copyright � Paul Croft-2002 All Worldwide rights reserved! Purehumour is published in small town Canada...all views expressed are not necessarily those of the publisher and should not be taken as such...they are meant in the spirit of humour and nothing else! If offended by a selection in this issue...please hit delete! Some material in Purehumour is written exclusively for Purehumour... this material is marked as such! Copyright is retained by the original author and any reproduction in whole or in part without the expressed written permission of the author and also the publisher of Purehumour is strictly prohibited! 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