���<--------- http://www.paulsfunhouse.com --------->��� and ���<----------The Grand Pooh-Bah of Humour ---------->��� presents
<---------------------PureHumour Joke Ezine!---------------------> Grab a seat and get ready to roar in laughter...you have reached the original home of PUREHUMOUR! In the unlikely event that you no longer wish to receive the "Best Humour on the Net" then you will find the unsubscribe instructions at the bottom of every mailing! Did you enter the Kim Burke book contest today? Check it out at: <a href=" http://contest.paulsfunhouse.com ">Click</a> http://contest.paulsfunhouse.com A brand new feature to Purehumour begins today..."Today In History" will feature birthdays of the rich and famous as well as the highlights of some of todays major historical events! SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT: Purehumour is now available in an ad-free version for a small fee...more details available at: <a href=" http://lists.paulsfunhouse.com/paid.html ">Ad-Free</a> http://lists.paulsfunhouse.com/paid.html WIN $50.00 just by subscribing...a new winner each month starting in August! Today's issue includes contributions by: SunAmy, Rubin, Dede, Stan, D.A. Funk, Ruth, Marsha, Marina. If you want to see your name here...send your jokes to: <a href=" mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] ">Jokes</a> ���-------------------------QUICKIE----------------------------------��� Lets start with a quickie: The wife of a Las Vegas doctor telephoned a local casino and asked to have her husband paged. "Sorry, Madam," came the reply, "The house does not make doctor calls!" ���--------------------------TOON TIME------------------------------��� Optical illusion No. 6. <a href=" http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.9.98 ">Click Here </a> http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.9.98 Suicide, The Slow Way... <a href=" http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.9.234 ">Click Here </a> http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.9.234 ���------------------------SPONSOR---------------------------------��� Today's issue is brought to you by: ======================================= NEW COMEDY CD! Bursting with over 550 Funny Photos arranged into interactive Flip Albums. Over 150 video clips, audio files & flash animations Plus, a hilarious 40 page electronic Joke Book. Check it out!! 30 day no risk money back guarantee. You have nothing to lose. <a href=" http://ads.paulsfunhouse.com/28.html ">Click<a> http://ads.paulsfunhouse.com/28.html ======================================== ���--------------------------HUMOUR---------------------------------��� A postman calls on a regular customer and is surprised to find hanging in her lounge a large white sheet with a hole in the middle of it. "What's that in aid of?" he inquired. "Well," the housewife blushed, "we had a big party here last night and after midnight things got a bit silly. In this game", she said, taking the sheet down, "a man would put his equipment through the hole, then the women came in and tried to identify the owner of the equipment. It was a scream!" "I'll bet it was," remarked the mailman, "wish I'd been there." "You should have been," she said, "your name came up three times." ���--------------------ADVERTISEMENT---------------------------��� LIKE MY LIST? Why not give us a vote or recommend us to a friend? Vote Now : <a href=" http://www.fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.30.0 ">Vote for Me!</a> ���------------------------GUS COOKS!------------------------------��� Gus really gets cooking...a new strip each day! <a href="http://www.guscooks.com/strips.php";>Click</a> http://www.guscooks.com/strips.php ���----------------------TODAY IN HISTORY-----------------------��� If today is your birthday...you share it with: 1950 Frank Stallone NYC, actor (Barfly, Outlaw Force) 1954 Ken Olin Chicago Ill, actor (Hill St Blues, Michael-30 Something) 1956 Delta Burke Orlando Fla, actress (Suzanne-Designing Women) 1956 Phil Fearon rocker (Galaxy, Kandidate-I Don't Want to Lose You) 1957 Bill Cartwright basketball player (NY Knicks) 1957 Mark Tymchyshyn Minneapolis, actor (Gavin-As The World Turns) 1958 Daley Thomas London, Decathalete (Olympic-gold-1980, 1984) 1958 Kate Bush Plumstead England, singer/songwriter (Wild Things) 1958 Richard Burge actor (Another World) 1963 Monique Gabrielle LA Cal, actress (Bad Girls 4, Amazon Women on Moon) 1965 Tex Axile rocker (Transvision Vamp-Velveteen) 1975 Tifini Hale Palm Springs Calif, rocker (Party-Rodeo, That's Why) .....and on this day in history: 1951 E L Johnson discovers asteroid #2718 1956 US motto "In God We Trust" authorized 1960 1st AFL preseason game Boston Patriots defeat Bills in Buffalo (28-7) 1962 AL beats NL 9-4 in 33rd All Star Game (Wrigley Field Chicago) 1965 LBJ signs Medicare bill, which went into effect following year 1966 Beatles' "Yesterday... & Today," album goes #1 & stays #1 for 5 weeks 1966 England beats West Germany 4-2 for soccer's 8th World Cup in London 1967 Race riot in Milwaukee (4 killed) 1968 Beatles' Apple Boutique closes, entire inventory is given away 1968 Wash Senator Ron Hansen makes 1st unassisted triple-play in 41 years 1969 Barbra Striesand opens for Liberace at International Hotel, Las Vegas 1970 30,000 attend Powder Ridge Rock Festival, Middlefield Ct 1970 Smirnova discover asteroid 1835 Gajdariya, 2032 Ethel & 2349 Kurchenko 1971 George Harrison releases "Bangladesh" 1971 Japanese Boeing 727 collides with an F-86 fighter killing 162 1971 US Apollo 15 lands on Mare Imbrium on the Moon 1973 Texas Ranger Jim Bibby no-hits Oakland A's, 6-0 1974 House of Reps recommends 3 articles of impeachment of Nixon 1975 Teamsters Pres Jimmy Hoffa disappears in suburban Detroit 1976 Japanese beat Russian for Olympic gold in woman's volleyball 1980 British New Hebrides becomes independent & takes name Vanuatu 1983 Official speed record for a piston-driven aircraft, 832 kph, Calif 1983 Weight lifter Sergei Didyk of USSR jerks a record 261 kg 1984 Alvenus tanker at Cameron La, spills 2.8 million gallons of oil 1984 Soap opera "Santa Barbara," premieres on NBC 1985 Discovery moves to Vandenberg AFB for mating of STS 51-I mission 1988 Cin Red pitcher John Franco sets a record of 13 saves in 1 month 1988 Ronald J Dossenbach begins world record ride, pedaling across Canada from Vancouver BC, to Halifax, NS (13 days, 15 hr, 4 min) 1990 5 Bank of Credit & Commerce members found guilty of money 1990 George Steinbrenner is forced by Commissioner Fay Vincent to resign as prinicipal partner of the NY Yankees 1991 MTV announces it will split into 3 channels in 1993 1991 Red Sox Carlos Quintana is 11th to get 6 RBIs in an inning (3rd) �2002 http://www.scopesys.com/today/ ���--------------------------HUMOUR---------------------------------��� A son comes home from the Army. After a few hours, he finally gets to talk to his father alone behind the barn. "So, son, what did the Army teach you?" asked the father. "Well, they taught me how to kill people," said the son. "With what?" asked father. "We used all kinds of things, like guns and knives, but my favorite was the grenade," said the son. "What's a grenade?" asked the father. "Well, I brought one home to show you. You just pull this pin out and throw it as far as you can," said the son. The son proceeded to give a demonstration. Lo and behold, the son throws the grenade on top of the outhouse. KABOOM!!! The outhouse is demolished. All the lumber and everything else lands in a heap in the yard. Grandpa sticks his head out of the pile and says, 'Whew, glad I didn't let that one loose in the house!"' ���----------------------PUREHUMOUR POLL--------------------��� "Out of Order" (Okay who broke the Purehumour Poll?) Check it out: <a href=" http://www.paulsfunhouse.com/fun/ ">Poll</a> http://www.paulsfunhouse.com/fun/ ���-----------------------QUICK QUOTE----------------------------��� "It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I win or lose." -Darrin Weinberg ���--------------------------TOON TIME------------------------------��� Cool Brain conflict trick.... <a href=" http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.9.52 ">Click Here </a> http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.9.52 The sands of time... <a href=" http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.9.100 ">Click Here </a> http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.9.100 ���--------------------------HUMOUR---------------------------------��� An elderly Jewish man is sitting on a park bench reading Louis Farrakhan's newspaper. His best friend walks by, sees the paper, and stops in shock. "What are you doing reading that paper?" he says. "You should be reading the Jewish Journal!" The elderly man replies, "The Jewish Journal has stories about anti-Semitism, problems in Israel and all kinds of troubles of the Jewish people. I like to read about good news. Farrakhan's paper says the Jews have all the money. The Jews control the banks. The Jews control the press. The Jews control Hollywood. It's all good news!" ���--------------------------TOON TIME------------------------------��� Helping With The Laundry <a href=" http://roseys.net/jillsprog8.htm ">Click</a> http://roseys.net/jillsprog8.htm Solving The Problem <a href=" http://www.buffalosjokes.com/at/13.htm ">Click</a> http://www.buffalosjokes.com/at/13.htm My Husband Has A Lousy Memory <a href=" http://www.buffalosjokes.com/at/16.htm ">Click</a> http://www.buffalosjokes.com/at/16.htm ���--------------------------HUMOUR---------------------------------��� A Wealthy playboy met a beautiful young girl in an exclusive lounge. He took her up to his lavish apartment where he soon discovered she was not a tramp, but was well groomed and apparently very intelligent. Hoping to impress her, he began showing her his collection of expensive paintings, first editions of famous authors and offered he a glass of wine. He asked her if she preferred Port or Sherry and she said, "Oh, Sherry by all means. To me it is the nectar of the gods, Just looking at it in a crystal-clear decanter fills me with a glorious sense of anticipation. When the stopper is removed and the gorgeous liquid is poured into my glass, I inhale the enchanting aroma and I'm lifted on the wings of ecstasy. It seems as though I'm about to drink a magic potion and my whole being begins to glow. The sounds of a thousand violins being softly played fills my ears and I am transported into another world." "On the other hand, Port makes me fart." ���--------------------ADVERTISEMENT---------------------------��� From the creators of Oska and Tahni comes a brand new and fun creation...get him for FREE at: <a href=" http://ads.paulsfunhouse.com/15.html ">TeeCee!</a> ���------------------------STRANGE BREED!-------------------------��� If you like funny, wacky, and clean cartoons, then check out "Strange Breed". It's sure to make you and your whole family laugh." <a href="http://www2.hi.net/s4/strangebreed.htm";>Click</a> http://www2.hi.net/s4/strangebreed.htm ���--------------------------HUMOUR---------------------------------��� Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder of Juan Gonzalez. "How was he killed?" asked one detective. "With a golf gun," the other detective replied. "A golf gun?! What is a golf gun?" "I don't know. But it sure made a hole in Juan!" ���--------------FROM THE BATHROOM WALL -------------��� MAKE LOVE, NOT WAR. HELL DO BOTH, GET MARRIED. - Women's restroom, The Filling Station, Bozeman, MT ���-------------------------QUIZ QUEEN------------------------------��� Vancouver, British Columbia, is the third largest metropolitan region in Canada. It is located on what land formation? A. Island B. Mountain C. Valley D. Peninsula --- How many eyelids do birds have? A. None B. One C. Two D. Three <Answers in Next Issue!> Last Issue's Answers: The name Canada comes from one of the indigenous Iroquoian languages. What does it mean? A. Community --- In small prosimians the young are often weaned after about five weeks. How long do apes continue to rely on their mothers? D. 6 years � Copyright 2002 Dawggone Communications Website: http://quizqueen.net Subscribe: [EMAIL PROTECTED] ���--------------------------TOON TIME------------------------------��� Milk van... <a href=" http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.9.597 ">Click Here </a> http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.9.597 A vampire takes a leak... <a href=" http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.9.124 ">Click Here </a> http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.9.124 ���---------------NON SMOKING SECTION-------------------------��� <To comply with recent internet law changes...Purehumour will now present a daily non-smoking section...this section is fully smoke-free...I do not smoke while creating it...and you are requested not to smoke while you read it! You co-operation is expected.> Giorgio is in this country for about 6 months. He walks to work every day and passes a shoe store. Each day he stops and looks in the window and admires a certain pair of Bocceli leather shoes. He wants those shoes so much it's all he can think about. After about 2 months he saves the $300.00 the shoes cost and purchases them. Every Friday night the Italian community gets together at a dance in the church basement, so Giorgio seizes the opportunity to wear his new Bocceli leather shoes to the dance. He asks Sophia to dance and as they dance he asks her, "Sophia, do you wear red panties tonight?" Sophia, startled, says, "Yes, Giorgio, I do wear red panties tonight, but how do you know?" Giorgio replies, "I see the reflection in my new $300.00 Bocceli leather shoes. How do you like them?" Next he asks Rosa to dance, and after a few minutes he says to her, "Rosa, do you wear white panties tonight?" Rosa answers, "Yes, Giorgio, I do, but how do you know that?" He answers, "I see the reflection in my new $300.00 Bocceli leather shoes. How do you like them?" Now as the evening is almost over and the last song is being played, Giorgio asks Carmella to dance. Midway through the dance his face turns red. He says, "Carmella, stilla my heart, please, please tell me you wear no panties tonight, please, please, tella me this true!" Carmella smiles coyly and answers, "Yes Giorgio, I wear no panties tonight." Giorgio gasps and says ...."Thanka God ... I thought I had a CRACK in my $300.00 Bocceli leather shoes!" <End of non-smoking section...please light your tobacco products once more> ���--------------------ADVERTISEMENT---------------------------��� Do you love Purehumour? Enough to open your wallet a little? If you wish to donate to support the continue success of this ezine...please visit the link below...no amount is too small! <a href=" http://ads.paulsfunhouse.com/ph.html ">Click</a> http://ads.paulsfunhouse.com/ph.html ���--------------------IT'S NOT PUNNY!------------------------------��� Johnny's mother told him that he had been a very naughty boy and, as punishment, she decided to omit his favorite vegetable from his dinner. That evening he sat down at the table and moaned: "I've only got beans, carrots and potatoes. Where are... His mother interrupted him. "You know what they say, Johnny: no peas for the wicked." ���------------------------TIMEKILLER-------------------------------��� Adult Slider Puzzle <a href=" http://www.jillsjokeline.com/slider.html ">Click</a> http://www.jillsjokeline.com/slider.html King Pin Bowling <a href=" http://www.jillsjokeline.com/bowl.html ">Click</a> http://www.jillsjokeline.com/bowl.html Tetris <a href=" http://www.jillsjokeline.com/tet.html ">Click</a> http://www.jillsjokeline.com/tet.html ���-------------------------A DOG'S WORLD------------------------��� A Dog's World is a continuing story that will appear in each Tuesday edition...miss a segment?...then check out the archives at: http://www.escribe.com/humor/pj <There seems to have been some confusion with A Dog's World over the last couple of weeks...a small section was repeated...I am continuing the story where it last left off!> The dogs went on to hum other songs. Old standards, TV jingles anything they could think of. No one said a word, one dog would start and the other would join in. During the songs the dogs began to giggle. The giggles were contagious and soon came eruptions of loud laughter. After laughing their way through "Brown Eyed Girl" one dog began humming "Amazing Grace." The laughter stopped as the other dogs hummed along. Sam hummed and tears began to well up in his eyes. He still didn't know what had happened outside but this song confirmed for him that the other dogs also though like he did; the world had indeed come to an end. "I can't sit anymore"! Snapped Sam. "It's time we got up and got out of here." Copyright 2001-02 D. Scott Check out more at: http://www.humorcorner.com ���--------------------------HUMOUR---------------------------------��� Ever wonder why ABCDEF are used to define bra sizes? A - Almost Boobs B - Barely there C - Can Do D - Damn good E - Enormous F - Fake ���--------------------ADVERTISEMENT---------------------------��� Website hosting at a price YOU can afford...great features... all the bells and whistles...get YOUR spotlight now: <a href="http://ads.paulsfunhouse.com/16.html";>Hosting</a> http://ads.paulsfunhouse.com/16.html ���--------------------------HUMOUR---------------------------------��� A recent study by doctors has proven that 2 drinks (beers, liquor or wine) reduces the risk of strokes by 50%. Is that amazing or what? Doctors also said before that aspirin reduces the risk of strokes also. That means that if we take an aspirin in the morning and two shots of Bacardi at night for the rest of our lives, we should be able to reduce the risk of strokes almost completely. Another proven fact is that masturbation burns off over 100 calories. Therefore, take aspirin, drink and "enjoy" yourself and you'll live longer and leaner. I'll drink to that. ���--------------------------TOON TIME------------------------------��� Very narrow minded... <a href=" http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.9.598 ">Click Here </a> http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.9.598 Humpty and the seasons... <a href=" http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.9.599 ">Click Here </a> http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.9.599 ���-------------------------WEIRD NEWS---------------------------��� A nude man suspected of an Arizona burglary was arrested as he tried to escape down a storm drain. Officers say he got undressed so he could wriggle through the pipe better. A police dog was used to prevent him from getting out of the other end. Detective Tim Gaffney, of Mesa, says the suspect was trying to escape through an 18-inch pipe. The nude man was covered with dirt and had to be washed down with a fire hose. Weird News is a daily feature of Purehumour...it contains a previously published News Report. If you find an article that you wish to see here..please send the article, name of the publication and date to: <a href=" mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] ">News</a> IF you like Weird News...subscribe to my weekly ezine of Weird News Weekly: <a href=" http://lists.paulsfunhouse.com ">Lists</a> ���--------------------------HUMOUR---------------------------------��� A guy was visiting his friend in the hospital who was "all torn up." "What happened?" he asked. "Well, we were hunting the Mumba snake. It has yellow and black stripes. It likes to sun itself lying across a pathway in the jungle. You catch it by grabbing the tip of its tail with one hand and quickly running your other hand up the length of its body so you can grab it behind the neck." "Go on". the friend said. "Well, I stealthily sneaked up to the tail laying across the jungle path, grabbed it by the end and rapidly moved my other hand upward ... just as the procedure goes." "So why are you so beaten up?" the friend asked. "Did you ever *goose* a tiger?" ���-------------------------QUICK WIT-------------------------------��� [||||] B A R R E T TA F U G I T I T [||||] A California Appeals robe palace rejected Bob Blake's bid to exit cement city on bail pending his spouse snuffing courtroomer. (LA Daily News) The Bobster says it's tough communicating with his shyster by cockatoo. Copyright � 2002 by Bob Mills, all rights reserved. http://www.topica.com/lists/funnysideup ���--------------------------HUMOUR---------------------------------��� While working for the U.S. Census, I approached one home where I was greeted by two children. I introduced myself, explained that I was a census taker and asked to see an adult. The older child ran to the door and shouted for the woman of the house. She hollered back, "Who is it?" The youngster yelled, "It's the senseless undertaker." ���--------------------ADVERTISEMENT---------------------------��� Never Pay for Condoms! Check out FreeCondoms.com... <a href=" http://ads.paulsfunhouse.com/5.html ">Click here</a> ���--------------------------TOON TIME------------------------------��� An ingrown hare... <a href=" http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.9.600 ">Click Here </a> http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.9.600 Phone sex... <a href=" http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.9.601 ">Click Here </a> http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.9.601 ���--------------------------HUMOUR---------------------------------��� Jake was dying. His wife, Becky, was maintaining a candle-light vigil by his side. She held his fragile hand, tears running down her face. Her praying roused him from his slumber. He looked up and his pale lips began to move slightly. 'My darling Becky,' he whispered. 'Hush, my love,' she said. 'Rest, don't talk.' He was insistent. 'Becky, I, I have something I must confess to you.' 'There's nothing to confess,' replied the weeping Becky. 'Everything's all right, go to sleep.' 'No, no. I must die in peace!' Jake said. 'Becky, I...slept with your sister, your best friend, and her best friend!' 'I know', Becky whispered softly, 'That's why I poisoned you!' ���---------------------------QUICKIE----------------------------------��� How do deaf people have phone sex? By fax. ���--------------------------EDITORIAL--------------------------------��� This Week's Laughing Stalk by Erik Deckers Because I Said So, That's Why "Okay, honey, it's time for bed." "Because you're six years old, and it's 9:30. It's already past your bedtime." "I know you don't feel tired. But you should have been in bed 30 minutes ago." "Yes, I know you want to play with your new Barbie doll. But she looks a little tired. And so do you. So get moving." "OW! Sorry, I stepped on one of Barbie's shoes. You need to clean this up tomorrow -- honey, why doesn't Barbie have any clothes on?" "No, it's not funny to take Barbie's clothes off. Where's your Ken doll?" "You didn't take his clothes off, did you?" "Good. Why don't you keep him in Barbie's Dream House tonight." "No, you don't have to put naked Barbie in there with him." "Uhh, just because." "Because I said so. . . look, why don't you ask Mommy that question in about 10 years or so." "Okay, climb into bed. Let me tuck you in. Don't forget to say your prayers." "Amen. No honey, I don't know what God looks like." "Yes honey, He lives in Heaven." "Yes, Heaven is up." "Well, the sky is blue because when sunlight hits our atmosphere, the blue light bounces off molecules in the air." "The atmosphere is like a big invisible blanket over the Earth." "Yes, invisible like your puppy Bloodhounder." "No, I don't know what Bloodhounder did today." "I didn't know that Barbie didn't like Bloodhounder." "Why would your invisible dog try to eat your plastic Barbie?" "Well, then why don't you feed him more often?" "No, you cannot feed him the hamburger in the refrigerator. That's for dinner tomorrow." "No we can't have pizza for dinner. We just had pizza." "Because I said so. Look, don't you want to know what the atmosphere is?" "Yeah, I didn't think it was that interesting either." "I don't know. You need to go to sleep now." "No, I'm not going to check your closet for monsters." "Because there's no such thing as monsters." "Yes, I know Elmo and Cookie Monster are monsters, but they're friendly monsters. Besides they're just on TV." "Alright, I'll check. See, there's no monsters in your closet." "No, they're not in the toy box either. And before you ask, they're not in the clothes hamper, your shoe cabinet, or on the shelves." "Because they wouldn't fit in the shoe cabinet, honey." "Yes, I know I said there's no such thing as monsters. I was just making a point -- listen, you need to go to sleep!" "Why would they be under your bed? Is there even any room under your bed for monsters?" "Fine. If I check, will you go to sleep?" "I'll show you there's nothing under -- AAGGHHHHHH, WHAT'S THAT?!" "I'msorryI'msorryI'msorry! No, honey, stop crying. No, there's no monster under there. I stuck my hand under the bed, and your Tickle Me Elmo doll went off." "Yes, I suppose technically there WAS a monster under the bed. But he's not even the real Elmo Monster, he's just a toy." "Yes, that's funny. It'll be even funnier when my heart stops pounding." "Because I just scared myself on your Tickle Me Elmo. Please clean that up tomorrow too." "No, I can't read you a story. It's time for you to go to sleep. You've got a big day tomorrow." "Let's see. You've got to play with your sister, play with the dogs, watch Sesame Street, and clean your room." "I know that's what you do every day. But--" "Yes, I realize that it's not really a big day tomorrow. I was just saying that so you would go to sleep." "No, that's not a lie." "Because it isn't. I would explain it if you didn't have to go to sleep right now." "We've been through this already. Whether or not you're tired has nothing to do with going to bed at a certain time." "You can stay up later when you're older." "I don't know! About 12." "That's in six years." "No, I will not read you a story." "Don't start that. You know, if you keep that bottom lip out, a bird will land on it." "No, not really." "No, not even an invisible bird." "Yes, invisible like Bloodhounder." "You already told me what Bloodhounder did today." "That's right, with your Barbie." "No, no more questions. That's enough. It's time for you to go to sleep right now." "Shh." "I mean it. No more." "Your night light is still on." "Yes, good night. Go to sleep." "I love you too. See you tomorrow." "Jeez, you scared me. Don't sneak up on me like that." "Yes, she just went to bed." "No, we weren't playing around!" "I was NOT trying to keep her awake." "She was -- never mind." "Listen, you need to talk with her tomorrow. She's taking Barbie's clothes off." "No, I'm not going to talk to her about it." "Because daddies don't talk about that kind of stuff with their daughters, mommies do." "I am NOT blushing!" "No, I'm not!" "I'm going to read for a while. You should go check for monsters under her bed." Laughing Stalk Syndicate Copyright 2002 -- Erik Deckers is in sales and marketing by day, but at night he dons a cape and mask and. . . well, he doesn't fight crime so much as he just runs around his house making kung fu noises. He is shy, and doesn't want people to make fun of him. At other times, he writes a weekly humor column, which can be found at http://www.kconline.com/deckers. Your article length submissions are welcome...send your humourous submissions of between 300 and 500 words to: <a href=" mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] ">Editorials</a> Editorial comments expressed here are copyright the writer and may not be reproduced in whole or in part without the expressed written consent of the writer and also the editor of Purehumour. ���----------------------------XXX SITES TO VISIT---------------------------��� The following are XXX sites...if you click them...you will see material that could offend you...pure and simple! If you don't wish to see such material...then DON'T click them! This is your only warning! 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