Hello,
Le 03.05.23 à 22:00, Courtney a écrit :
"I know you may be relatively new here, so to help you be successful,
here are some ideas for how to structure for your project"
to a statement like this:
"I am disappointed to yet again see someone doing this wrong and
ignoring the requests of the community"
In my writing world, this is a question of audience. The first version
speaks to the person who posted. The second one speaks to all of the
people who already know each other in the forum. The first one is
inherently inclusive. The second one excludes the newcomer from the
conversation.
It's strange because I have the exact opposite feeling:
the first sentence is nominative, takes the person a little bit
down by saying "you're a beginner", decides he needs help, and
if on top of that it is wrong (because the other person is not
a beginner, maybe he was there under another name or just absent
for some time, or more active in the another list),
at best it provokes a feeling of "this remark is funny",
at worst it gives a feeling of misplaced paternalism and
nominative criticism.
the second sentence for me is about an act and not a person,
it expresses the feeling that a "issue" (=something to be improved)
arises again.
in the end it may not even be the fault of the previous person,
it may just be that in this case there is no good practice guide
for community survey (exept the osmf view on it), or if there is one
it is not visible enough or the people involved have not looked for it.
who am I to know the cause of the other person's choice ? nobody
I may only expressing a *feeling* of what the situation does to me.
the other person may start listening to the criticism (= listening
to someone who thinks that something needs to be improved) or may
start thinking immediately "no, that's not true", as if the other
person's feeling might not be true... when in reality, a person's
feeling is supposed to be always true, it's only when/after you've
heard it that you can then (re)act
on this subject, i strongly like the method/philosophy of Jacques
Salomé [1] who in extreme summary says that we are each responsible
for our emotions and that when we are hurt by a comment, it is more
constructive to look at what we do "inside us", rather than blaming
the other, we are not, for the most part, children who need to call
the teacher when a comment displeases us, especially given the cultural
difference so well summarized in a previous message.
This cultural difference is not limited to be an usa-europe one.
In France for example, the same difference (if we caricature it) exists
between people living in Paris and those living in the provinces...
with the same intercultural issue as in this thread.
[1] https://fr.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jacques_Salom%C3%A9
Regards,
Marc
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